Poke, poke.
A gentle pressure against my cheek.
Behind my closed eyelids, a faint light flickers.
The hazy consciousness stirs, weighed down by exhaustion.
I rub my tired eyes, still heavy with sleep.
The sight that greets is the familiar view of a hospital room.
“......”
Soone is holding onto my sleeve.
I look down at the bed.
Sitting atop the white sheets is a little girl, no more than ten years old.
A girl with a frail appearance, even for her age.
When our eyes et, her small lips part to speak.
A delicate voice, like the chirping of a bird.
“Oppa! {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} You weren’t listening to again!”
A sharp, pouty tone—uncharacteristic of her.
Was she sulking?
The little girl was staring up at with a slight scowl.
The hospital gown draped over her small body made her look like a little angel.
I blink, montarily dazed, then reach out and take her tiny hand in mine.
In that small palm, there was a warmth that felt almost precious.
“Sorry... I dozed off for a bit.”
“You said you’d play with ! You’re a liar, Oppa...”
“I’m really sorry. I won’t do it again. Can you forgive this ti?”
“You said that last ti, too. You promised so many tis already.”
“I an it this ti. I promise, I really do.”
“Then, promise again!”
“If that’s what it takes, I promise.”
“Hmm... Okay! I forgive you!”
“Thank you.”
“Hehe.”
Her mood lifts quickly.
She leans in, resting her head against as if she’d been waiting for it.
Like a habit, I gently stroke her hair.
The little girl leans into , giggling softly.
The warmth sinking into my chest felt undeniably real.
“Oppa, I cried again today.”
“...Are you feeling better now?”
“I cried because I missed you. But the nurse unnie told to stop, so I did.”
“So, Nurse Unnie looked after you again. I should thank her properly, shouldn’t I?”
“She said that if I kept crying, my hardworking Oppa would feel sad...”
“You’re such a good girl. Even while crying, you were thinking of .”
“Hehe. So, praise quickly!”
A smile so bright it could shatter.
I caressed her hair gently, afraid it might break.
The soft black strands fell like silk through my fingers.
The image reflected in my eyes was more precious than anything in the world.
My lips curl into a faint smile.
“You’re amazing... my little sister.”
The only light left in my world.
And soon, that light would go out.
Day after day, I watched over the angel trapped in that hospital room.
Taking each day, one tentative step at a ti.
***
There was nothing remarkable about my life.
It was an ordinary, impoverished existence.
Just slightly more miserable and slightly more tragic than the average.
If I were to put it plainly, it was the kind of life you’d only see in a cheap, clichéd lodrama.
But for us, that was our reality.
-Oppa!
Our family was just the two of us.
and my little sister, ten years younger than .
Our parents had both died in an accident.
It happened right around the ti my sister was about to start elentary school.
I still rember that day.
-Are you sure you’ll be okay?
-Can you really take care of your sister?
-Mom and Dad are going away just for two days, but we can’t help but worry.
-You know what Mom always says, right? Look after your sister until we get back.
-We’ll call you once we get there.
Their wedding anniversary.
They’d decided to go on a small, modest dostic trip.
The last image I had of them was watching them step out the door.
And the next thing that ca wasn’t a call from my mother—
but a doctor, delivering the news of their death.
I rember standing there in a daze, going through the unfamiliar motions of a funeral.
My sister clung to my sleeve the entire ti.
-That’ll be 7,560,000 won.
Burn the bones, place them in an urn, lay them to rest in a columbarium.
The steps every person’s remains must go through when they die.
I learned, earlier than most, just how much those steps cost.
I pulled out the crumpled condolence money, counting the wrinkled bills with trembling hands.
That small stack of paper felt unbearably heavy.
The scent of funeral money clung to my young, trembling fingers.
-What am I supposed to do now...?
After the funeral, I returned to the house.
Leaning against the window, I muffled my sobs every night.
What lay before was nothing but a hellish path.
I was still just a kid.
Everything terrified .
But I couldn’t break down.
-Oppa, are you crying...?
I couldn’t afford to break down.
My little sister, knowing nothing of what had happened, only glanced up at , worried.
I hadn’t even noticed she was awake, standing there in her pajamas, hugging .
For her sake, I had to harden my heart.
The mory of that day, when I sobbed uncontrollably, was still painfully vivid.
-I’ll work as hard as I can! Please, hire !
I dropped out of school.
Abandoning my youth, I picked up heavy tools.
On hot days, I carried rebar.
On cold days, I poured concrete.
While kids my age were making mories, I was building walls and hauling steel.
Every night, dragging my exhausted body back ho, I’d eat a cup of instant ran and pass out.
Every day felt like it was shaving years off my life.
But even so, it was fine.
-Oppa!
Whenever I returned ho, you were there, smiling so brightly.
That innocent smile was what kept going.
Whenever I felt exhausted, I would always imagine it—
The sight of you, all grown up.
“You’ll be happy, right?”
I wanted you to be different from .
To live a life like other kids—one that a child should have.
Instead of piling up bricks at construction sites, I wanted you to build mories with friends.
To go to school, to plead for expensive academy fees, to experience small acts of rebellion.
And at the end of it all, to walk through the gates of a university, whether it was good or bad.
To live a life where you could truly understand what living ant.
“Please, at least you...”
Perhaps it was selfish of .
The things I never knew, the things I gave up on, the things I regretted—
I wanted to give you all of it.
I wanted you to be soone who could dream, chase those dreams, and make them co true.
I exchanged my own school days for the sake of that wish.
My only dream was your happiness.
I had no dreams for myself.
So.
You were my dream.
“Things will get better, right?”
Three years passed just like that.
I beca an adult, and our precarious life finally found so balance.
My sister had just turned nine.
It felt like I’d finally learned the ropes of living through hell.
Life began to feel a little more manageable, even a little happy.
And then, in my arrogance, I let myself think:
“Maybe... I’m doing okay.”
But it didn’t last long.
I soon realized—
Happiness was never on our side.
“She has, at most, six months left.
You should prepare yourself.”
My sister fell ill when she was ten.
According to the doctor, it was a rare disease.
You know the kind—the kind with a na so complicated, it only ever shows up in movies or dramas.
A disease that slipped into her frail body, a disease I couldn’t even begin to understand.
The fear I felt when I first heard the twisted na was probably because of that—
The fact that the doctor’s response was always the sa: there was no cure.
“Why...”
An ordinary, impoverished life.
Just slightly more miserable and slightly more tragic than most.
That small degree of difference—it was sotis crueler than anything else.
I had no choice but to crumble.
“Oppa... Am I sick?”
She looked up at with tearful eyes.
The stark white hospital bed and her pure white patient gown stood in stark contrast to the pitch-black reality.
I held onto her frail body, crying but unable to let her go.
Maybe I was just scared of being left alone.
I was too weak to let her go.
“Kim! You’ve been working hard these days, huh?
Got sothing going on at ho?
Your eyes are filled with fire, man. Even just watching you is terrifying.
You’re so young... shouldn’t you be out having fun or sothing?
But still, you’re a hardworking guy.”
I kept living fiercely, just like before.
Hospital bills kept piling up.
To cover them, I had to tread even deeper into hell.
Mornings were for deliveries.
Afternoons were for construction sites.
Evenings were for nursing her.
Nights were for more deliveries.
I knew it was aningless. But I refused to believe it was aningless.
If I could just buy her a little more ti, I was willing to do anything.
If I didn’t have that resolve, I felt like I’d go insane.
“Please.”
I just wanted you to live.
mories drift through my mind like a gentle current.
Slowly, I open my eyes.
“Oppa!”
What I see beyond my blurry vision is the sa white hospital room.
And there, sitting on the sa white bed, is you.
The sa, bright smile as always.
You grab onto my sleeve with a sunny grin.
“You were listening to , right?”
“Of course... of course I was.”
“Hehe! And then guess what? Nurse Unnie said that today...”
You chatter on, your voice like a cheerful song.
I say nothing, only stroking your hair as you talk.
Outside the window, the setting sun paints a sumr evening.
I smile faintly as I continue our small talk.
“So that’s it.”
The soles of my feet, which had just been trudging through the construction site, throb with pain.
The aching muscles testify to a grueling day.
What awaits after this is another round of nightti deliveries.
Despite the exhaustion closing in on my eyelids, I force myself to stay awake.
I wanted to treasure this mont—the ti I could spend with you.
I think to myself:
“So this... was my nightmare.”
A white hospital room.
A little angel living beyond that door.
My nightmare was nothing more than a mory, and mories are always so heartbreakingly precious.
I clasp her warm, small hand gently.
“Dawnbringer.”
I was trapped in a nightmare.
To be precise, I was locked within my own subconscious.
With a light touch, I pulse the power of lies through my fingertips.
Everything seed fine. Once confird, I let the power dissipate.
In the back of my mind, I thought of the girl fighting her own battle sowhere else.
“Neria... I hope you’re holding on.”
This stage was set for her.
All I could do was watch from afar.
Trapped in this tender, fleeting nightmare.
“So anyway! I told the nurse Unnie that...”
“Really? You’re so brave, my little sister.”
For now—
I decided to stay.
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