Ethan looked at with a strange expression after our lips collided with a brief friction. For a mont, it seed like he didn’t fully understand what had just happened.
It was only after seeing my face, burning red with embarrassnt, that he finally seed to realize that I had kissed him. Although it was a very brief kiss, the shock of it hadn’t yet worn off for him.
“…D-does this suffice as an answer?”
“……”
“I apologize for not being able to convince you with words. I didn’t think I could give you the assurance you needed, so I had to resort to this action.”
Still, I thought that this should be enough for Ethan to understand. After all, what woman would brazenly kiss a man she had no feelings for?
Moreover, in Lillis’s body, I had never kissed anyone other than Ethan. …Well, strictly speaking, I hadn’t in my previous life either, but that wasn’t relevant here.
I thought that perhaps now Ethan might release his grip on my arms and legs, but unfortunately, instead of relaxing, his hold only tightened, pressing down on even harder.
“Young Master Ethan? Maybe it’s ti to let go….”
“…It’s not enough yet.”
“…What?”
“You said before, Lillis, that a kiss is no big deal. Don’t tell you’ve forgotten that?”
…Right, I did say that.
As soon as he ntioned it, I recalled how I had nonchalantly claid that a kiss was nothing special. What was I thinking, saying sothing so reckless?
“O-of course, I rember!”
“Really?”
“Did you think I was so crazy woman who goes around kissing just anyone without a care? What I said back then was just bravado… no, I said it to avoid burdening you, Young Master Ethan….”
“I don’t care what you were thinking when you said it. What I’m saying is that this isn’t enough.”
“…What?”
“Open your mouth, Lillis.”
“Mmmp?!”
The mont I instinctively parted my lips slightly in response to Ethan’s words, his face tilted at a 45-degree angle, and he pressed his lips down onto mine.
This ti, it was a kiss that went deeper than our previous French kiss. Or rather, it felt even more intense than the one before. Back then, Ethan had only let his tongue enter my mouth while facing directly, but now, he completely covered my mouth as if sealing it shut.
Ethan’s thick tongue invaded my mouth even deeper than before, exploring every inch as if it were his own domain.
-Lick, lick.
“Mmph?! Mmm, mmph…!”
-Lick, lick, lick.
“Mmm, mmph… Hmph, mmph….”
He ravaged the inside of my mouth—my lips, gums, the inside of my cheeks, behind my teeth, the tip of my tongue, and even underneath it.
Ethan turned our entwined mouths at different angles as he thrust his soft flesh deeper inside, thoroughly dominating the inside of my mouth.
In a way, this kiss felt as intimate as sex. As we exchanged bodily fluids through this deep intrusion, the thought briefly crossed my mind that this might actually be a form of sex.
We continued kissing for nearly a minute, and Ethan showed no sign of pulling away. I knew I had to make a decision.
-Smack.
“Mmm, mmph….”
-Smack, suck….
“Mmm, mmph… Ah….”
Thinking that perhaps my hesitation and avoidance were the problem, I decided to match his deep kiss and let him have his way.
Though he had suddenly forced his tongue into my mouth, saying that a re kiss wasn’t enough, surely he wouldn’t keep pinned down until morning.
If I just went along with what he wanted, exchanging kisses and sharing our tongues, I hoped he would be satisfied and pull away on his own.
It wasn’t that I wanted to indulge in Ethan’s stubborn behavior; I just wanted this uncomfortable situation to end as quickly as possible.
In that mont, I fleetingly thought that if the situation ended with just sharing the inside of my mouth rather than losing my virginity, I could consider myself fortunate.
…And so, about three minutes passed while we shared each other’s lips.
As we continued to exchange sensations through our lips and tongues, I felt a strange, indescribable sensation pulling from just below my sternum.
-Suck, suck.
“Mmm, mmph?!”
…What was that feeling just now?
It was just a kiss, yet I suddenly felt an odd sensation rising from below my body, which startled .
I wondered if Ethan had sohow touched my body in the confusion, but his hands were still firmly gripping my wrists, unmoving. This only added to my confusion, as I couldn’t understand the source of the stimulating sensation my body seed to be reacting to.
‘I felt sothing similar when Ethan touched my chest….’
As I was trying to comprehend why I felt that way, Ethan’s tongue, which had montarily paused, resud its movent, rubbing against mine, and I regained my focus on the intense kiss.
-Suck, suck.
“Mmm, mmph….”
-Lick, lick.
“Mmm, mmph…. Ha…”
As I focused on the act of exchanging saliva through our lips and tongues again, the lewd sensation once more began to swirl through my mind.
Even though he wasn’t touching , and even though I wasn’t revealing my body to Ethan, the strange pleasure I felt every ti our tongues and mucous mbranes t made my head grow hotter with each passing mont.
-Drip.
‘How much longer is this going to go on….’
Even though I was becoming increasingly aware of a sensation that felt like sothing other than my mouth was getting wet, Ethan continued pressing his face close to mine. He kissed so deeply that my head was almost buried into the soft mattress, leaving with no way to escape.
Just when I was starting to worry that he might really kiss until morning, Ethan’s lips slowly began to separate from mine. A thin string of saliva, a lewd symbol of our intense kiss, stretched between us as our lips parted after so long.
“…Ha, ha, ha….”
“……”
“…Are you… satisfied now?”
“……”
His expression was subtle. It seed that his earlier anger had subsided sowhat, but there was still a hint of lingering regret.
And as I looked at his face, I couldn’t help but feel equally unsettled. The Ethan I knew would have let go of by now, but today, he seed far more persistent.
“…I’m worried that you might be misunderstanding sothing, so let clarify.”
“……”
“As I said before, I have never kissed anyone else—no other man, or rather, no other person—besides you, Young Master Ethan.”
“…I know.”
“In other words, you’re currently the person closest to my heart, Young Master Ethan. Even after saying this, do you still need further proof?”
“……”
Ethan just stared at , his face flushed, without saying a word, and I couldn’t help but feel the weight of his gaze.
He seed to be conflicted, as if he wanted to say sothing but couldn’t. But at least in this mont, I could tell that he didn’t truly intend to harm … probably.
Fortunately, my instincts were right. Hearing my sincere words, Ethan slowly loosened his grip on my wrists and began to move his body off mine.
“I’m sorry, Lillis.”
“……”
“I’m… I’m pathetic for having such strange thoughts. Even though I know in my head that you wouldn’t leave for soone else by choice, I couldn’t help but doubt you because of my own insecurity.”
“…It’s alright.”
“I’m sorry for making you feel troubled when you’re already tired. I knew that doing sothing like this would only frighten you, but I couldn’t stop myself.”
“……”
‘You couldn’t stop yourself in the mont,’ huh….
It wasn’t the best apology, to be honest. This kind of excuse implied that sothing similar could happen again in the future.
But Ethan’s sudden behavior today, where he nearly crossed the line, was definitely unusual.
Until now, he had always been almost obsessively careful not to do anything that would make uncomfortable, yet suddenly, he had beco so aggressive. It was strange.
‘Wait, co to think of it….’
When was the last ti I relieved Ethan’s sexual tension?
My most recent mory was at the end of the last sester when I sneaked out without telling him, and he punished for it. That was the last ti.
Before that, I had voluntarily rewarded him after he had his first ‘complete victory’ against Harold, giving him a reward in the bath. That was the last ti I voluntarily offered anything.
Thinking about it, I couldn’t help but wonder if Ethan’s behavior tonight was due to pent-up sexual frustration that had suddenly exploded.
After all, I was the person he loved most, his lover (though only temporarily), and we shared a bed every night.
It wasn’t just sharing a bed; we were practically sharing our living space. Although we tried to be as discreet as possible to avoid embarrassing each other, there were tis, maybe once or twice a month, when we accidentally saw each other changing clothes. We lived in such close proximity every day, both on weekdays and weekends.
Even with the winter break in between, Ethan and I had been living like this for almost half a year. Perhaps I hadn't been attentive enough to his needs, unintentionally tornting him by being so close yet so distant for all this ti.
His sudden attempt to take by force might have been due to his pent-up sexual frustration reaching a breaking point.
‘…It looks like I have to take responsibility.’
If I simply brushed off his desires today, it might co back with even greater intensity later on. If that happened, there was a real risk that he might cross a line that neither of us wanted to cross.
And it wasn’t that Ethan’s skills had dulled recently or anything; it’s just that my standards for what constitutes a ‘reward’ had gotten higher.
So, if I decided to give him a little sothing now, Ethan probably wouldn’t find it strange. …Probably.
‘It’s not because I want to do this with Ethan…’
I’m just trying to soothe Ethan’s frustration and prevent any potential disasters from occurring because of it. There’s no selfish desire on my part at all.
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