Ethan suddenly grabbed my arm, pulling onto the bed, and his hand moved swiftly under my skirt, causing to feel a surge of panic.
Until now, I had allowed him to touch my chest a few tis, but his hand had never ventured below before.
“W-wait, Young Master Ethan!”
“Be quiet, Lillis. Isabel is asleep.”
“That’s not the issue right now… mmmph?!”
Ethan glanced sideways at the servants' quarters where Isabel was sleeping and then silenced by covering my mouth with his hand. The seriousness of the situation made my heart race with a growing sense of danger.
‘I told him I needed this power until I dealt with McHart!’
I was certain I had explained this, but Ethan's sudden move to take my chastity was sothing I couldn’t understand. Naturally, I struggled against the threat of losing my virginity so abruptly.
Of course, trying to push off Ethan’s body, which had already pinned down, with sheer strength was almost impossible, making my resistance seem futile.
My legs were pinned down by Ethan’s lower body, and my left hand was bound by his right hand, rendering immobile. With his other hand covering my mouth, I was left unable to even call for help. In an instant, my limbs and mouth were completely subdued by him.
-Press.
“……”
-Thud, thud!
“……”
I tried to push Ethan’s body with my free right hand, but he didn’t budge, and even hitting his side with my fist several tis didn’t affect him.
I felt bad about hitting him in the face or head, so I just hit his side instead. Using magic to resist in this situation seed too risky, so I refrained for the ti being.
“Lillis.”
“……”
-Nod.
With my mouth covered, I nodded to respond. I thought it might be better to try and resolve this through conversation rather than resisting in a situation like this.
Thankfully, it seed that Ethan wasn’t entirely intent on assaulting , as he quietly looked at with serious eyes, ready to confess sothing.
“Lillis, the truth is, for a long ti, I’ve always thought about this whenever I looked at you.”
“Mmph…?”
“I’ve always feared that one day, Lillis, who is within my reach just by extending my hand, might suddenly leave my side.”
“Mmm….”
“I’ve tried to hold back until now. After all, Lillis, you’ve always been on my side in every situation. Not always, but in most important matters, you’ve valued my opinion over your own, and the proof of your love for that you occasionally showed allowed to endure.”
“……”
Considering he had thrown onto the bed, his words were surprisingly ta. I thought he might forcibly take my virginity in a rush, but instead, Ethan was just holding my mouth shut and conveying what he wanted to say.
Looking at it this way, he didn’t seem like soone who intended to assault . At least, the current Ethan didn’t exude the sa aggressive aura as McHart, who had tried to attack a month ago.
Not that he didn’t have any of those tendencies, but it felt more like he was fiercely battling between his instincts and reason.
“Do you know how angry I was when I heard that you were almost taken by McHart?”
“……”
“For several days after that, I couldn’t sleep properly. I was terrified that one morning I’d wake up and find that you had suddenly disappeared from my side.”
“……”
“And while I’m still furious enough to tear that bastard apart, the thing that made the angriest at the ti was myself. The thought that I couldn’t protect you and let you fall into danger.”
“……”
“If you were to be taken from so easily, I thought I might as well just make you mine, Lillis.”
“Mmmp?!”
I couldn’t help but make a surprised sound at Ethan’s shocking confession.
I was a little grateful that he was being honest about his feelings, but it also ant that he was essentially confessing that he had been ready to take by force at any ti.
It was unavoidable that mories of the Ethan I knew so far flashed through my mind in response to this revelation.
“Of course, I’ve been trying to restrain myself. I’ve held back until now because I thought it was more important to win your heart, even if I lost everything else. I believed that winning your heart soday was the most important thing.”
“Mmph… mmmph….”
“But when you keep making feel conflicted like this, I don’t know what to do. It feels like not only your heart but now even your body is slipping away from .”
“……”
“Lillis, you once told that n who let themselves go, don’t even bother with basic manners, and constantly harass won are the worst.”
-Nod.
“After hearing that, I learned the sword from my father and lost weight. I also took etiquette lessons three tis a week until just before entering the Academy. And no matter how much you tempted as if testing , I never crossed the line you set.”
-…Nod.
“And now you’re telling you want to join that lecherous Hero’s party? The sa Hero who plays around with the Saintess and even Elves? After just a few conversations, has that Hero beco more important to you than ?”
-Shake, shake.
I couldn’t agree with his last statent, so I quickly shook my head from side to side to dispel his misunderstanding.
…Okay, I admit it. My actions had caused Ethan to misunderstand, and because of that, he had beco so obsessed with . I could understand that.
It was also my mistake to decide to join the Hero’s party without discussing it with Ethan first. I still had a day to decide whether or not to beco the Saintess, so I should have talked to Ethan before accepting the Hero’s offer.
Of course, I couldn’t predict whether Ethan would have reacted the sa way, saying it was impossible, or if he would have reluctantly accepted my honesty. But at least we might have avoided this situation if I had handled it differently.
“Lillis, please.”
“……”
“I really don’t want to do anything that would make you hate . I’m more afraid of you hating than of hating myself. I’m scared that your eyes will look at with the sa cold and unpleasant gaze you used to have when we were kids.”
“……”
“So please, convince . Convince that if I try hard enough, I can win your heart soday. If you can’t say that, I might end up making a terrible decision. I might end up taking your body if I can’t have your heart.”
…What should I do?
Even if he suddenly asked to convince him, I had no idea what to say. I had never lived a life where I was close to psychology, either in my past life or in this one.
But Ethan, unaware of my struggle, quietly removed his hand from my mouth, leaving at a loss for words as my lips parted and closed hesitantly.
“……”
“……”
Ethan, who had pinned down on the bed, waited quietly for my answer, his gaze focused on . His expression and eyes were so intense that I couldn’t bear to look at him directly.
For so reason, I felt a warm flush rising to my face. It was like the day I first realized that Ethan liked after he confessed his feelings.
Back then, the emotion I felt from Ethan was simple affection. But now, the emotion I felt from him was obsession and desire. A strong obsession and desire directed at .
There was no way I could co up with the right words to persuade Ethan while facing such passionate emotions head-on.
“Y-Young Master Ethan…”
“Yes.”
“Could you please let go of my hand for now?”
“Why? Are you planning to run away to the Hero if I let you go?”
“N-no… It’s just that I can’t think clearly with you so close… Could you please move away for a mont?”
“It’s fine. I’ll wait as long as you need. Even if it takes until tomorrow morning, I’ll wait.”
“……”
If this went on until morning, I was sure my ntal strength wouldn’t hold out.
But I couldn’t think of anything persuasive to say to Ethan while being so conscious of his gaze.
Even for a short while, I needed to get away from this situation to clear my thoughts….
‘Right, the spirits.’
In that mont, I rembered the existence of the spirits who could assist , and I ntally called out to Sei, the wind spirit, asking her to separate and Ethan, even just for a mont.
‘Sei, Sei!’
‘Yes… Lillis…’
‘Please use your magic to separate from Ethan! Just for a mont!’
‘…I can’t….’
‘Yes, you can! Like when you used wind magic to gently push during my duel with Agnes….’
‘But… I’ve made a contract… with Lillis….’
‘Yes! You made a contract with , so you should listen to my requests—’
‘That’s why… I can’t… If it’s sothing Lillis dislikes….’
‘…What?’
Confused by what she was saying, I was suddenly interrupted by Sally’s voice, who had been listening to my conversation with Sei.
‘That’s right, Lillis. Since we’re contracted, we can’t do anything you dislike.’
‘W-what are you talking about?! I just asked you to separate from Ethan—’
‘But we can’t help with that because you don’t really want it.’
‘What are you even saying….’
This is hopeless. Judging by their nonsense, these spirits are useless in this situation.
I just asked them to separate from Ethan for a mont, and they’re saying I don’t want that? What kind of nonsense is that?
As I struggled with the futility of communicating with the spirits, Ethan called out to again, eting my eyes.
“What are you thinking so hard about, Lillis?”
“……!!”
“Were you talking to the spirits? Asking them to separate from you?”
“N-no, Young Master Ethan. I was just deep in thought, trying to organize my thoughts.”
“Alright. Then tell . Convince that I can win your heart soday. Please.”
“……”
There’s no way that’s possible.
How could I tell him sothing so absurd as, “Maybe if you behave, I might fall for you soday”? It was impossible.
While I had learned enough about manners as a maid from Isabel and the head maid, I had never learned how to eloquently persuade soone with convincing words.
…There’s no other choice. I’ll have to use the most effective thod instead of trying to find the right words.
As soone who had once been a man, I knew the best way to earn a man’s trust, so I decided to take the first thing that ca to mind and act on it.
“…Young Master Ethan.”
“Yes.”
“…I have sothing to tell you quietly. Could you co a little closer?”
“Sure.”
Ethan, thinking I wanted to whisper sothing to him, lowered his head toward , bringing our faces within inches of each other.
-…Smooch.
…Our faces t, and the softest part of both touched for a brief mont.
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