Chapter 10: The Place I Want to Leave (6)
Hena was the only one among us who ca from a commoner background.
My father, despite his unassuming nature, was undeniably a nobleman, holding the title of a count.
Although he owned no lands, his nickna ‘The Sword of Eilencia’ was more esteed than the calling cards of many nobles.
Naturally, as his son, I too was of noble birth.
Not to ntion, the direct lineage of Eilencia, Terion, and Sirien, was beyond reproach.
None of us ever looked down on Hena because of her social status.
I had inherited my father’s easy-going nature and had always gotten along well with the servants, and with mories from my ti as a modern-day person, I felt no regret about her commoner origins.
Surprisingly, the siblings felt the sa, likely due to their exceedingly high social status.
From their perspective, there wasn’t much difference between the average noble and a commoner.
Thus, they could afford to be either extrely arrogant or exceedingly magnanimous, and fortunately, they chose the latter.
However, the barrier of social status was an insurmountable wall.
In private, we could interact more casually, but under the scrutiny of others, strict adherence to the social hierarchy was a must.
This included the ti after our cabin life ended.
To maintain her position as a maid in the future, Hena had to fulfill her duties even now.
Therefore, Hena was invariably the busiest among us.
Initially, her role was to serve Terion, but it had evolved into tending to all our needs.
Sirien, being a twelve-year-old lady, required a lot of attention, and Hena had her work cut out for her.
‘Terion and Sirien are playing chess, and Hena is nowhere to be seen.’
It seed Hena was diligently working sowhere, but she was not in the cabin.
Like anyone else, I occasionally slept in late.
It seed fatigue had accumulated without my notice.
This was the first ti I had overslept here, and there was nobody to wake .
Because of this, I woke up much later than usual.
The late start didn’t change the day’s tasks.
Waking up late ant I just had to start my tasks later.
After so basic physical training, I practiced with my sword.
By the ti I finished, the sun was already setting, several hours later than usual.
So, all of this was a coincidence.
‘What the? The shoulder of this garnt is torn!’
It was purely coincidental that I overslept today, causing a delay in my daily tasks, and out of all the clothes I could have chosen, I ended up wearing one that was in poor condition.
It was also by sheer coincidence that I found myself entering the basent storage, a place I usually had no reason to visit.
After all, Hena was the one who picked out our clothes every morning.
There was no need for or the siblings to venture down there.
‘When I helped with moving the luggage, did we store the clothes here? It seems likely.’
Though we casually referred to the basent of the cabin as a storage area, it wasn’t just one large space.
In fact, the basent was divided into more rooms than the first or second floor.
There were as many as six rooms, each too small for anything but storage purposes.
And, as luck would have it, I ended up in one of those six rooms.
“Uh, ah. Young master. Ah.”
As soon as I entered the room, an excited voice reached my ears.
It was a familiar voice.
The delicate moans of a pubescent girl. The slightly desperate, heavy breathing tickled my ears.
Even though there was no contact, it felt as if I could feel the heat of her breath.
In Hena’s hand was a piece of clothing, one that I recognized.
It was the sa garnt Terion had been wearing earlier.
He must have changed by now, so the garnt would still carry his sweat and scent.
Hena held it to her mouth, while her other hand was directed downwards.
The suggestive sound of water stopped montarily.
In the brief mont I hesitated, Hena noticed .
Our eyes t, and an awkward tension filled the air.
“Uh, huh...?”
I had no choice but to close the door and leave.
* * *
After so ti, Hena ca looking for .
Her face was flushed with embarrassnt.
I knew this mont was inevitable.
“Um, Razen. I have sothing I want to talk about. Do you have a mont?”
“Sure. Shall we go outside?”
“Yes. I’d like to take a walk.”
The possibility of the siblings overhearing was sothing we’d rather avoid. We quickly dressed and stepped out.
The topic of our conversation was, of course, predetermined.
I wasn’t petty enough to dredge up Hena’s embarrassing mont, nor was she so peculiar as to provoke her own sha.
Yet, there was a matter that needed addressing, given she had been secretly calling out to Terion in the basent.
I decided to approach the subject with as much tact as possible.
“Hena, you probably already know what I’m getting at. Do I really need to state the obvious?”
“No, there’s no need. I’m well aware already.”
“Then isn’t that settled? I’m known for keeping things to myself, not for spreading words around.”
“I trust you, Razen. You’re good at keeping secrets. But, could you listen to for a mont?”
“Of course, take your ti.”
Hena harbored feelings for Terion. No, it might already be sothing deeper, perhaps love.
However, it was a love that could never be. Even if by so miracle it could happen, it shouldn’t. It was like a forbidden fruit.
Hena, more than any of us, understood why forbidden things were so nad.
“Just as Razen trusts , I haven’t forgotten my place. If I had, I wouldn’t be here. I’m very much aware of my station.”
A position like the head housekeeper or butler of a duke’s household wasn’t sothing just anyone could ascend to. If the grand duke was nobility among nobility, the head of his servants was the pinnacle among them.
Such individuals wouldn’t let personal feelings interfere with the selection of the duke’s blood relatives. Hena had the credentials to be here.
And part of those credentials surely included ‘never forgetting one’s station, no matter how well the siblings treat you.’
“His lordship is a kind person, truly. He’s shown compassion even to soone of low birth like . Of course, being who he is, he’ll end up with soone far better than soone like .”
Nobility doesn’t marry just anyone.
A son of the empire’s grand duke could even consider a marriage alliance with royalty from another country.
At the very least dostically, a match with a lady from a duke family would be expected.
So, the higher one’s status, the more marriage beca a distant dream, its significance too great.
If Terion were to marry foreign royalty, it would signify a diplomatic alliance.
Naturally, this would involve the emperor himself.
Disregarding such a marriage would not end well.
Imagine promising to marry a princess from another country, only to elope with a commoner?
It would be a grave insult, suggesting the princess was less worthy than a commoner.
The Emperor would surely repay such a diplomatic slight with a punishnt worse than death.
“Therefore, I would never confess my feelings to his lordship, not even in a million years. I couldn’t bear to see him suffer because of . It’s a wish more important to than my own life.”
It seed Hena had long since resigned herself to this reality.
Her face was determined, though it briefly softened as if the re thought brought her so happiness.
“Even if, by so chance, his lordship were to harbor feelings for , the result would be the sa. Despite the tears and regret I’d surely face every day, I would never reciprocate his feelings. I would have to refuse.”
A shadow of sadness passed through Hena’s eyes.
“All I want is for his lordship to be happy. Should he find soone wonderful one day, I would sincerely celebrate his joy.”
It felt like an old emotion, a sorrow refined and whittled down over a long ti, quietly stirring.
I could do nothing but offer silence, unable to soothe such a deep-seated grief.
Our steps crunched softly in the snow.
With each step, the snow beneath our feet quietly perished.
Hena, like the snow, silently killed off her feelings.
“If I were to harbor one selfish wish, it would be for the day his lordship has a child. I’d want to personally attend to that child, confident I could care for them better than anyone else in this world.”
Hena paused for a mont.
When she resud, she was smiling, a smile forged through harsh trials.
“So, if such a day cos, I’d be grateful if you could subtly suggest to his lordship that I would be the best person to look after the children. I promise to do my utmost not to let you down.”
“I suspect he would ask you without my saying. From what I’ve seen, the only reason he manages to look remotely human is all thanks to you. He knows it too, doesn’t he?”
“Ahaha, Razen, you have no idea how sweet those words sound to . But since we’re on the subject, let make this clear: don’t speak ill of his lordship in front of , okay? It would make angry.”
“Ah... Yeah. Sorry.”
Hena laughed lightly.
“That’s where my heart lies. Knowing where the boundaries are, it’s okay to hold affection, right? Love doesn’t have to culminate in a relationship to be beautiful. I’ll cherish my feelings, and soday, the pain I’ll have to bear as well.”
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