and Malthus were in a boxing stance.
This was the only way we would be able to fight.
The Skills, the throwing stones, the fire, the swords, everything is trash. When there were no skills, people used to fight like this. We were just going back to the basics.
Thousands of Malthus’ soldiers were surrounding us and they for sure acted like a crowd.
"Yeahh!"
"Kill!"
"Show blood!"
"Yess! The last ti I saw blood when I fucked my wife on her periods!"
" too!"
"You also fucked your wife on her periods?"
"No. Just after you were done, I fucked your wife."
"You bastard!"
Two of the Malthus’ soldiers started duking it out with each other but no one cared about them.
All eyes were on and Malthus at the mont.
And I wish I could say my people were better. But no. They were even worse.
"Alright, place your bets now!"
"I bet on the Hero King!"
" too!"
"I’m going with Malthus!"
"You traitor!"
"No, listen. Betting is business. I don’t mix emotions with my wallet."
"Dude, he’s fighting for us!"
"You want to be brokeand patriotic? Pick one."
"You have a point."
"Exactly. If everyone bet on one person then who will win among us. This betting program is being organised by wealthy people and aliens here. If we give them our money while betting on the hero king, and if he loses, then all of us will lose our money and these rich people will get even richer!"
"...Alright. I bet on Malthus too."
"Sa. I only bet on the Hero King ’cause I thought his aunty might be hot. But I want cash more."
" too. I bet on Malthus!"
"On Malthus!"
"Malthus!"
...
I could handle Malthus’ soldiers turning on .
But my own people?
If it was soone else then he would have given up right now, but I won’t.
My grandma wants to see win and I’ll show her that. I’ll do it for her.
"Shall we begin, human king?" Malthus asked.
I stared at him and with a smile...
I reloaded my fists.
No joke. I actually did it. I dropped both arms down with a sharp snap, elbows flaring out like I was cocking invisible shotguns strapped to my biceps. The sound? Pure muscle drama. The effect? Sexy as fuck.
"You asked if we should begin. But for .."
I leaned in like I was about to kiss the mont.
"It’s already started."
BAANNGG!
I launched forward like a bald eagle with unresolved anger issues. Uppercut straight to Malthus’ chin.
His head snapped back. His pupils snapped down at .
He grinned like Vegeta with a superiority complex.
"Not bad."
Then he gut-punched so hard, my organs started a union.
I nearly puked crocodile skin. No idea why I ate crocodile earlier, but here we are.
Fighting back nausea, I surged forward—
TUNNG!!
I headbutted him.
It sounded like a gong from a Buddhist temple being assaulted by a drunk goat. My brain ricocheted inside my skull like it was in a pinball machine.
Malthus staggered. His pupils danced into the corner of his retina like they were trying to escape.
Gosh, I feel like I am explaining anatomy here instead of a fight scene.
"That’s nothing, human king. Take this!"
Malthus raised his leg and kicked right on my thigh.
CRACK!
Everyone heard it.
The sound of sothing breaking.
"Haha. Did you hear that? One kick and I broke your bone!" Malthus rejoiced but I didn’t feel right.
"Actually, lord Malthus," Soone said. "It was ."
and Malthus both turned our heads at the voice and it was one of Malthus’ soldiers.
"What is it?" Malthus asked.
The soldier showed his hand.
"I am eating a chocolate bar. So.. it was just taking a bite."
"..."
Malthus turned his head at .
I sighed. "So it’s not only with ridiculous allies."
Malthus didn’t reply and shot a glare at that soldier.
"I will kill you for this. Die—"
"Wait." I stopped him.
"What?" Malthus asked but I didn’t reply to him.
I looked at the soldier.
"What chocolate bar is it? One bite and everyone heard it."
"Oh. My mother makes them at ho. Actually, this is my way of promoting them. Eat it in front of many people and one of them would be dumb enough to ask about it and that’s where I’ll find a custor."
"... Yeah. Kill him, Malthus. No one called dumb right in my face before."
"What- no. Don’t kill , lord Malthus. My mother will cry. She will run away with another man again."
"Fuck off."
Zzzzaaaap!
Malthus’ eyes glowed red once more and instantly, two lasers shot out of them and split the soldier in half from the middle, vertically.
Malthus killed his own soldier and his chocolate bar laid near his feet.
I am glad the soldier died, this world got saved from getting a Mr. Beast. But damn, Malthus killed one of his own. This man ans business and probably... hates salesn.
After killing the soldier, Malthus turned his attention to again.
"Now where were we?"
"We were..."
I raised my leg.
"Here!"
I kicked his thigh. Waited for the CRACK,
Nothing.
Now I miss the chocolate guy.
"You lack power, Human King."
Malthus grinned and...
BANG! He kicked my thigh.
Didn’t hurt.
BANG!
He kicked once more, on my left thigh again.
But it didn’t hurt .
"As if you are one to talk."
BANGG!
Now I kicked his left thigh.
He remained standing, and didn’t even flinch.
Then, he kicked .
I remained standing as well.
Then I kicked him.
Sa thing happened—Nothing.
Then his turn ca.
Nothing to .
My turn.
Nothing.
His turn.
Nothing.
My turn.
Nothing.
His turn.
Nothing.
My turn.
Nothing.
His turn.
Nothin—
"Motherfuckerrrrr!!"
I dropped to my knees, hands clutched between my legs.
This bastard...
He fucking cheated.
He hit my balls!
"I don’t feel pain there, Human King," Malthus said, grinning like a demon who’d just passed his driving test. "But you clearly do."
For the first ti in my life...
I hated being a man.
Reviews
All reviews (0)