No matter how much I tried, I couldn't sleep.
Adrenaline aside, I was too afraid to wake up covered in fla again. So I convinced the rest of my party to sleep in my stead. Rather than shifts, I'd be taking watch until sunrise.
The Traunt brothers quickly retreated to bed; however, Mizuno stayed up to explain what had happened. anwhile, Barik was lying on his bedroll with his head propped atop his arms, listening.
Pre-combustion, Mizuno said she'd discovered small but noticeably bright red orbs gravitating into my body while I slept. They pooled into until my flesh emitted a radiant heat and ignited.
What most concerned her wasn't the fire. She said one losing control of their mana at first was common. What did worry her was how I'd used magic while unconscious.
"It's supposed to require conscious effort," she told while sitting back on her bedroll. "You shouldn't be capable of performing magic unless you will your body to. Passively casting anything is unheard of."
That's when Barik spoke up for the first ti since we started our journey.
"It's an affinity," he said with a gruff voice. "He has an affinity for fire."
"An affinity?" I stepped toward him with a quizzical look.
Barik moved to a sitting position. "Yes...an affinity. It's a very powerful attunent to a magic elent. It's also very rare. Until now, I've never encountered anyone with one."
I scratched my head and took a seat next to him. "If you've never seen soone with one before, how do you know I have one?"
In response, he pulled a book free from his pack. It had nurous strange geotric carvings across the leather. They weren't unlike the carvings I'd seen on the wagons when I was first summoned.
He opened it, skimming through various dirtied white pages, and displayed one to . It depicted a hand-drawn, dissected human body.
Various arrows were pointed to different parts of the body. But the one Barik called attention to was dubbed the "Aetherium Gland," though I knew it as the "second heart."
Beneath the arrow was a block of text written in pitch-black ink.
[Human aether gland: Prone to mutations... (Possible Precursor magic?)
Accepted na of mutation: Affinity...
Primary Effect: Drastically improves the rate and efficiency at which the host can tabolize aether into mana.
Side Effect: Individuals can passively tabolize Aether/training not required for Affinity's elent. ]
"Out of all the races in the world, humans are the only ones capable of having an affinity," he said from behind the opened book.
The group went silent for several monts, but Mizuno spoke up soon after.
"Barik, how much do you know about affinities?" her eyes emitted a glint of an idea.
"What I know from my father's journals," he responded.
"Can you train Sato to control it? To control his magic?"
He glanced at , back to his book, and then to Mizuno. "Is that a request? Or an order?"
"I can make it an order," Mizuno replied coldly.
Barik sighed and snapped the book shut before returning it to his pack. "Fine, I'll try teaching him what I know." Though he agreed, I could tell he was begrudging about it.
Mizuno nodded in acceptance, and the two returned to sleep.
As for , I upheld my promise and kept watch for the remainder of the night.
It was colder than usual, but that was because the fire incinerated everything on , even my armor.
Luckily we packed a few spare sets of clothing, so I wasn't left naked. However, we had no more protective gear, so I would be left with just cloth to guard my flesh during battle and against the elents.
Despite that, I was grateful I had set my rucksack and weapons aside. They were left in pristine condition, minus a few rogue burns. Losing those likely would've ant the end of my journey, forcing and potentially the entire party back to resupply.
Ti passed slowly as the moon and unknown constellations of stars passed by overhead. During that ti, I sat above the rock's edge. The edge I fell from in my dream.
I reminisced on the hell of that nightmare; one scene stuck with . The one where I begged for help, only to be cast aside.
'If I was in trouble, I wonder if these people would help... Or would they abandon without a second thought.' It was an irrational thought, especially considering how they risked life and limb to carry while I was unconscious.
'Idiot,' I scolded myself, 'there's no point in thinking about that!'
But I couldn't rationalize my mind; it was frazzled between the nightmare, the "fire affinity," and my previous mistakes. My heart was left to squirm in unease, and the stress of it all upheaved my mind into negativity.
A thought I promised not to think again entered my mind. 'What if I just left?' Even beyond the distrust, the nightmare was a wake-up call. Did I really want to keep fighting? To keep adding more deaths onto my conscience to tornt later?
Looking back at my allies, they were all sound asleep. I could easily slip away. I could drift off into so obscure part of the world and isolate myself from the conflicts my current path was bound to throw in.
Of course, the idea was taboo, paramount to desertion. But after I failed to protect my countryn, after I attacked Mizuno, and after this outburst of fla, was I even useful? Was I actually serving my purpose? Was I more of a threat than an asset?
'Maybe it'd be better if I deserted,' I clasped my hands over my neck and pulled down. 'Can I really do it? Can I really leave? It'd be okay, right? I an, this is a new world, after all. Do I really have to keep fighting?'
From how I'd disappear into the darkened woodlands ahead to how I'd survive the monsters within it, I considered every little detail possible.
'It'd be so easy. They're sleeping too. I could grab my gear and run without looking back. The camp was in danger, so I doubt they'd give chase.'
Beyond my view were several silhouettes of paths that snaked through the shadow-veiled forest, all perfect candidates to disappear into.
Then I heard a shuffling from behind, startling from my scheming. Joseph was tossing and turning in his sleep and embraced his pack tightly as one would a loved one.
"Mizuno," he mumbled with a stupid grin on his flushed face. His embarrassing display gave a chuckle and an epiphany.
I looked over my companions and was reminded of an important fact. The promise I'd made only a day ago. 'That's so shitty resolve if I break my word so soon...is that all my promises are worth?'
"No," I mumbled. "I can do better. I can BE better." From the start, I was at a disadvantage with that promise; it wasn't in my nature to protect others unless ordered or incentivized. Heroes didn't exist, after all.
'Besides, heroes may be fake, but I'm a soldier of the fucking military! I won't give up!' If I couldn't even overco myself, how could I expect to overco the trials ahead?
'You're staying here, Katsuro. For once in your life, you're going to be a protector. You'll keep your promises and keep them safe. It's your honor!' I finally managed to rouse my determination back from embers. It burned away all the negativity and cowardice that threatened to consu .
Sitting still allowed my thoughts to venture down paths that were better left untraveled, so I distracted myself with sothing else. Though the topic was just as unnerving for .
I brought my hand to view and flexed my fingers. "So...not only can I make fire... My body has an affinity for it?"
The irony of it nearly made burst out into laughter. To think that I, soone developing pyrophobia, have a latent ability to produce fire!
I brought a finger upward and cursed at the heavens. 'What kind of sick joke is this?!'
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