I almost read the diary till the end. I have no idea how long it has been but it sure is late. But after reading the diary I have lots of questions going on in my mind.
Happiness she wanted to share? What was it? Is it about our identity which I too wanted to tell her? Or there is sothing else besides this.
I don’t know.
All I can see is that I’m the one who hurt her so much.
If I only could have ignored going there and told dad instead nothing would have occurred. If only I could have woken up earlier then she wouldn’t be able to tolerate this. I know my explanation will never make her happy but it sure would be painful to see would soone else right?
"What if I find her with soone else?"
I clenched my fist as I thought.
No, I could never bear the scene. I could never see her holding on to soone other than . I could never see her with soone touching her. It sure is unbearable for .
I was thinking when I heard a knock on the door.
I walked outside when I found Jas.
"Shall we go?" he asked.
I wasn’t able to say I wanted to stay here but walked downstairs with him but when I left the place I felt a scared feeling growing inside .
"Is this the end?"
"Are we going to part ways like this?"
"Did I push her to this stage where I wasn’t even able to see her again?"
Thoughts kept on lingering in my head when I turned and see while I found Mr White sitting on the couch while his brows frowned. I know he sure is hurting inside and I can never go and tell him don’t be worried I will find her when I can’t. I can’t even say everything will be solved when I know all of this happened because of .
As I kept my feet outside of the place my legs gave up as if I was acting brave till now. My legs kept on shivering.
"You ok?" he asked but I couldn’t utter a single word.
"Aaron!!"
"Aaron!!"
He kept on calling my na but my eyes closed, which is without knowing.
***
"Aaron"
"Aaron"
"Aaron"
I kept on hearing his voice when I slowly opened my eyes. I felt as if I only blinked my eyes and the morning took overnight.
"Aaron!!"
"You ok!!"
It was Jas.
I woke up and sat.
"Wasn’t I standing in front of her house?" I asked.
"Yeah but it was last night and I took you ho afterwards", he replied.
"Last night?"
"Yeah it’s already been more than twelve hours since you were sleeping", he said.
"And yeah so people ca to et you", as he said I saw grandfather and Chloe coming through the door holding a flower making frown.
"This must be a dream, right?"
I laughed.
"Aaron!!" Jas called my na again.
"Ha ha yeah, it was the sa way I woke up after six months. It was the sa when she ca through the door holding a flower bouquet placed in my room and she is doing the sa as if it’s still the sa day when I felt the nightmare right?" I kept on rambling.
"Aaron, it’s not", Jas tried to control but my anger was burning.
"Why the hell did you co here?" I shouted. I can see Chloe flinching but I don’t give a shit about it.
I don’t fucking care any longer.
"Aaron!!" she called my na with her gentle and sweet voice which is only making angry more than usual.
"Don’t you dare call my na!! Don’t fucking take it because you already ssed up my entire world the mont you step onto my life!!" As I said I noticed Jas barely hanging on to his anger but I didn’t stop.
"Jas, I know your relationship with her but I’m not angry with her because of the misunderstanding but what she did made her leave ."
"She fucking ruined my life!!!"
"She used to get revenge on you!!!"
"I now couldn’t even believe what she must have felt when she found held by so other girl who she had no idea. How she must have felt when she was holding when I wasn’t even wearing anything. How she must have felt when she ca to know that Ayla was not my first love but Chloe when it is made up. Tell how the hell you want to behave when my life turns upside down in just a brief minute."
"It must be a blink of an eye for ."
"It must be a brief mont for them."
"But for Ayla, it changed her life."
"She left the place where I could have found her."
"Her number is out of reach ."
"And I don’t fucking know where she is!!"
They are still standing near the room while I am rambling about what I feel. Grandfather didn’t utter a single idea but I know what must be going on with him. He sure is thinking as I will forget her soon and marry him according to him but I know what to do. I will be a complete narcissist which they could have never expected.
"You wanted to marry her right?" I said Jas and Chloe raised their head.
No one said anything.
"Yeah, I will do it."
"I will do it."
"Aaron!!" Chloe called out.
"No no you should call darling from now on. Isn’t it what you wanted to do? Being my wife? Then do it. I gave you the entire order so prove it that you are perfect for my wife", I no longer look at them with the gentle expression which I always do but this ti my eyes look down lowering the size of my eyes.
Jas didn’t say a word but I’m sure there will be a ti he will say it.
I waited.
"Jas, say sothing!!!" Chloe took the initiative.
"Jas, why are you being silent? Tell him that I don’t want to marry him!! Tell him what our relationship is!!! Tell him God damn it!!" she was clearly begging as well as showing her anger while I was only enjoying her miserable situation.
"You know what when the incident appeared in the school I truly thought it was my fault but he clearly ntioned that he did that because of when I know it wasn’t not entirely still I blad myself for a while why did you suffer for but now I clearly am liking the way you are doing this."
"The thing you did to is nothing in comparison to what happened because of ."
"You know what it took six years to find her, falling in love with her again but you didn’t take a brief mont to destroy them. Are you a born vixen?"
Jas clenched his fist.
"Tell , did you clearly plan all this?"
"Tell you didn’t know her when you ca out of my room and stood in front of her when you saw the picture made up by Jas?"
"Tell you didn’t!!!"
"Tell you fucker!!!!"
I was clearly shouting when I felt a harsh slap landing on .
"Aaron, stop it!!!" Finally, Jas spoke.
"I don’t think I could handle any more than this."
"I’m not blaming you for anything. I’m not blaming anything at all but hearing like this from you sure is making my heart ache. It is so refreshing and painful hearing you calling her anest words which I could never hear", I heard him say but I don’t bla him.
"Jas", Chloe called out his na in a soft tone.
"Don’t take my na as I should remind you that for you I m got even a human", he said.
What is he saying? I don’t understand.
"Ja-
She tried to call out his na but he walked away while Chloe followed him.
My grandfather stayed in my room without saying anything. The sa goes for as well. Even if I needed to say sothing, I couldn’t. How could he even say she wasn’t my first love? How could he know how broken I was when I left this city? No, not even this city but I shifted to another county trying to live alone.
How could he?
There are tis when I wasn’t even able to sleep but cried all night calling her night. There were tis when I kept on holding my chest trying to forget her which made think of taking psychotherapy but I dropped the idea when I started sleeping around. But now I’m sure I will be taking therapy for sure.
I could never tolerate the pain which I handled before.
It is painful which is making hard to breath.
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