I waited in my class alone until school ended. I didn’t see a single person around nor in the class as if the teachers were too celebrating her victory, making look like a pathetic character here. As the school ending bell rang, I went outside to wait for dad but he was late while brother was nowhere to be seen.
"He must be gone to et her as she said", I thought, but I still waited. I waited for fifteen minutes but when I still didn’t find him I went to the place Freya told my brother to co to. I walked toward a narrow road which led to the back of the school, but the mont I saw both of them standing, I hid.
"So, why did you call here?" the brother asked.
"Umm, can’t you guess why I called you here?" Freya said.
"I don’t, so hurry. Ayla must wait for and she is scared of being alone", he said, making feel relieved, but I didn’t know it was not for long.
"Ok let tell you", she said.
"I fell in love with you the mont I saw you, so will you go out with ?" she said, making my heart beat faster, but so of my feelings saying brother won’t say yes. He is going to refuse her confession, but I still waited.
"Oh is that so? OK let’s go out", he said, making my tears co out.
What just happened? Brother, what have you done? You ruined everything, brother. I kept scolding him inside while a pair of hands let hide my face in his arms. I didn’t know who it was. I don’t have any idea if there is soone who cares for and has enough courage to pull and hold when I cry. I don’t know, but the way he is gripping in his arms sure makes feel safe. It’s warm.
But the mont I ca to my sense I ran without looking at his face. I didn’t wait for dad or Jace but booked a cab and left for ho. I don’t think anyone is even going to worry about even if they see my dis shelved face. I don’t have any idea what the cab driver is thinking about, either. Is he too going to sympathize with ? Don’t know, but I kept looking outside when suddenly he asked.
"Did sothing happen to you?" he asked, while I looked at him with my teary eyes.
"Huh!"
"You kept crying from the mont you ca inside and you have serious injuries on your face, too. So is it sothing happened at your school?" he asked.
"Maybe or maybe not", I said with a smile.
"You don’t look at all. Should I drive to the hospital?" he asked. He sounds worried, but I don’t need any more worries, which will only make feel like a burden on my shoulder.
"No, drive ho. I’m sure I am fine", I said, trying to be ok.
In a few minutes, I reached ho while mom was talking with our neighbour.
"Ayla, you are alone?" she asked from far away but I didn’t reply so she started to follow .
"Ayla, wait", she asked.
I didn’t hear her but kept walking toward my room. She followed to my room but before she could enter I locked the room from inside but I’m sure she saw my face, my injuries, my sorrow and my pain too, which I don’t think of any matter anymore.
She kept banging on my door for a while. For over 45 minutes she kept calling my na. She kept saying, "Ayla, co out. We can talk about what happened. I will hear you whatever you say, so co out even if for a minute. Let look at you."
But nothing reach up to because of the wall I created by myself. It sure hurt , but I don’t think they are more in pain than . I’m the one suffering from ntal, and physical pain at the sa ti. Why are they showing us they could feel my pain more than myself? Why?
I didn’t change my school uniform nor did I apply for dicine on my face. The wound was still bleeding, but I no longer felt pain. I didn’t have my lunch in school, nor did I take a sip of drink from the mont I ca ho. My throat is getting dry, but does it even matter? Does anyone know my pain? Has anyone ever felt this way? No, right?
Why am I even acting like a kid? Crying like a child, as if soone snatched my coffee and I’m crying complaining because of that? But things are not changing at all. I want to change things, but it’s still the sa.
It’s midnight already.
"Baby, you alright?" he asked slowly from the other side.
I don’t know why he chooses this ti, but having him here, I feel less burdened.
"Baby, I don’t know what happened but didn’t I tell you to tell if sothing happened? Didn’t we make a promise that if sothing happens you will co and tell first? You rember, right?" he asked while I nod from inside.
"Yeah I do", I replied in a low tone, but I know he can’t listen to .
"Then why didn’t you tell ? Why didn’t you wait for ? Why didn’t you et ? Why? Am I that untrustworthy? Don’t you trust at all?" he kept whining like a child but still, I didn’t open the door until in a few minutes, his voice stopped coming.
It’s good for everyone to leave . I’m better off alone. Everyone will be happy if I’m not present in their life. I’m just a nuisance and all. Then why bother to think I even exist? It doesn’t even matter.
After 1 week
It has been more than a week now. I’m still sitting in the sa position. Every day mom cos to ask about . She even dropped food for in front of my room, but I never touched it. Dad ca at night to ask about , but I still didn’t open the door. Yesterday Jace ca asking about , but he only made feel angry as if I could slap him if I saw his face right in front of . Everything is so hurtful.
It’s 12 and the sunray kept coming inside my room, making feel more uneasy, so I went out. When I opened the door, I found none. Of course, there won’t be anyone. Brother would be at school, mom must sleep after getting all tired working till now and about dad he should be in his world place. I will just quickly get water for myself, then co back.
I didn’t make any noises but went to the hall. But to my surprise, everyone was present in the hall looking at as if I ca from another planet.
"Ayla", Dad called out my na.
He tried to co closer to , but I stopped him again.
"What happened to you, baby?" he asked.
"Why is your face injured? I could see blood marks on your cheeks and your lips bleeding too. Just what the hell happened to you that day? Why didn’t you wait for ?" he kept asking while mom looked at with a sympathetic look.
"Ayla, speak sothing", mom said, but I walked toward the fridge and picked a bottle of cold water. I walked toward my room when I saw another presence at the door.
"Who is it?" I asked in a low tone.
When I called he ca inside showing himself clearly in front of my eyes. My eyes are not even opening properly because of locking myself in the room.
"Who are you?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.
He slowly walked toward and said, "It’s , the class head Aaron king."
His presence made my heart beat faster. I don’t know why he kept popping out in front of my eyes, even though I don’t want to see him. Why do I see him feel so uneasy? He sure is sothing who made feel so weird as if I’m not in myself.
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"I am here to hand you over the notes which you will need as you didn’t attend school last week." He extended the note while I snatched the note without even showing my gratitude.
"Ayla, wait! We need to talk", my brother called, but before anyone could get a hold of , I ran upstairs while running my feet and hit a corner of the stairs making miss a step.
Ahhhh I’m falling. Yeah, I’m falling. I’m again seeing dark all above my eyes. Is this how am I going to die? Is this the end of my life? I could see all my life monts in front of my eyes as I can never see them in the future.
But all I wanted to say was, "Thanks for having here."
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