"Co"
"Why are you walking so slow?"
"We have already reached the hospital. Or do you want to carry you on my tiny shoulder?"
"If you want I can but it sure is going to give hell of pain." she kept on pulling my hands with a smile but the guilt kept on eating from inside. My insides kept on asking what am I even doing? How did I end up coming to this place? How did I make her behave like this even though it is not what she truly likes?
"Jas?"
"What are you thinking again?"
"Ah nothing", I denied and followed her inside. My heart is beating so loud. I can even hear my own freaking heart beat but when I look at her, she looks calm as wind but I’m not sure if she can change her way of feelings.
"Here, we have reached", she said standing in front of the doctor’s cabin.
"Shall we go inside?" she said. She was holding my hand. I’m sure she is aware how sweaty my palm is but she is still not stopping.
I took a deep breath then went inside when the doctor told us to co inside.
"So, Mr. Lee, you have decided?" she asked, looking at .
"I-
"Yeah, doctor we have decided."
"We even filled the form so take a look at. I’m all prepared so I want to get it done today at any ti", she said. She didn’t even look at . Why? Why are you not looking at Chloe? Co on, look at ! Co on stop ! I’m waiting.
"You sure?" the doctor asked.
No, I’m not.
"Yes, doctor. I’m sure so please proceed", she said by herself.
I clenched her palm with mine.
"What is it, Jas?" she asked.
"Ah nothing", I replied.
"Are you uncomfortable holding my hand?" she asked and slowly let it go.
"I’m not", my voice sounded awkward.
"No, it is ok. It is my fault", she let go of my hand while I was looking in her way, fully shocked. How could I say I’m not uncomfortable but I’m scared. Yeah, I’m scared of everything to a point I don’t want to do anything.
"Mr. Lee, you, ok?" even the doctor asked but I got up from the chair and walked outside. Chloe was still there talking with the doctor but I felt suffocation as soone was choking my neck. As if soone pressed my nose tightly making unable to breath.
"Chloe", I called out her na but I’m sure she is not here.
I tried to return but I heard a mysterious voice.
"Dad", I felt goosebumps.
I turned to see when I saw a little boy walking past .
I felt relieved then again, I heard a voice.
"Dad, will you kill ?"
My heart raced first.
No, I don’t want to.
"Dad, will you strangle to death just like mother said?" it kept on asking the way Chloe told . Yeah, it is exactly the sa. It makes no difference if her every sentence kept on roaming inside my head.
No stop!
Please stop it!
"Jas"
"Jas"
I turned to see and found Chloe.
"What are you doing here?" she asked but I embraced her.
"Jas, we are in public", she said but I didn’t let her go.
I know she can know what I’m feeling but I ignored. I don’t care what she feels. I don’t care what others feel but I just want to embrace her always. She feels so good. She feels so warm.
"Jas, stop it!" her voice went cold.
I still didn’t stop.
"Jas! Enough!" she finally pushed away.
"Listen, I ca here to talk about the procedure", she said.
"Will they do it right now?" I asked.
"Yeah, it will start in a few minutes", she said.
"Will you be, ok?" I asked.
"Does it matter?" She walked toward the procedure room but this ti she looked at with her eyes filled with tears. But still, I am unable to understand many things.
"You stay here! Everything will be done in a few minutes", the doctor said and went inside.
My feet gave shivers as well as my entire body when all of sudden I had a glimpse of her crying in front of .
"Jas! Save !"
"Jas! Save my baby! I beg you!"
Her cry kept on lingering inside my head making go crazy but they are already inside.
No no I can’t let it happen. I need my Chloe. I don’t need this broken Chloe but I want my smiling Chloe. I want my baby as well. I can’t let him die.
It was like a redemption phase for which I will not ignore but I will accept it with a wide arm.
I knocked on the door like a maniac.
"Open the door!!!!" I hit it nurous tis when the doctor ca and opened the door.
"What with this kind of behavior Mr. Lee?" The doctor sounded frustrated but I’m even more frustrated than her.
"Get out of my way. I’m taking her back", I tried to enter inside forcefully but they were not letting inside because of the procedures.
"No, you can’t co inside like this!"
"The procedures are not done. So, stay outside. We will call for you when everything is done", she was still trying to convince but I shouted.
"I don’t need fucking procedures."
"I don’t want her to drop the baby."
"I don’t want her to cry."
"So, stop it! And let go inside!"
I know my voice is even louder than usual but my head is blasting right now with her crying images inside my head which I needed to stop.
"Ok, as you wish", she said and let in while Chloe was laying on the bed unconscious.
I went closer to her, kissed her forehead and carried her.
I really don’t care anymore. I need both of them. I want both of my babies with whatsoever.
"You made a good decision, Mr. Lee", the doctor smiled but I don’t know why nor I want to know.
I already told soone to get my car which was already in the parking place.
"Sir, here is the key", he handed the keys and left while I placed Chloe on the passenger seats making sure she was safe. I again kissed her forehead while I heard her little snore making assure, she was sleeping peacefully.
I turned to my seat and drove toward my place. But my eyes kept kneeling toward her. I’m not sure how she will behave when she wakes up but this ti, I will no longer be going to make any mistakes. I’m going to take my Chloe back no matter what.
Even if it is she who tried to stop . I will not let her go. I will not let her resist anymore. I will not let her show her fake smile anymore.
It took a little bit of ti but we have reached in my place while I again carried her to her room and tucked bed sheets around her. She again held my hand just like she did this morning. But this ti I went inside the blanket and slept while hugging her tightly. It sure giving an assurance that she is with . She is with . She is alive.
After a while.
"mmm"
I opened my eyes as I heard her voice.
"What happened?" I asked but she stayed silent for a long ti.
"Chloe, you hurt? Tell what is uncomfortable? I will do it." I asked but she started crying out loud.
"Uwaaa"
"Chloe, tell what is wrong", I’m panicking but she is not stopping.
"You are such a monster", she said and hit my chest. This is the second ti she scolds this way. This is the second ti she called a monster.
"How could you do this to ?"
"How could you kill him?"
"How could you do this when I loved him so freaking much?"
I don’t know what she is saying but she is crying.
"You killed my baby."
"How could you?"
"Didn’t you say you liked him then how could you? Aren’t you his dad as well then how could you ask for abortion? How?" she cried more hitting .
"Chloe, calm down!! It is not what you think", I tried to calm her down but she kept on telling she will leave.
"Chloe!!!!" I shouted out loud.
She flinches.
"He is not dead", I finally said it out loud.
"What?"
"Yeah, he is not dead."
"I took you before they could do anything. So, calm down. He is alive."
"He is still in your tummy so calm down and listen to ."
She cried more but now she has a smile on her face as if she is relieved.
Yeah, this is my Chloe.
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