This ti around, when Soren woke up, there was no jolting.
Instead, he lay there. Tears falling down the side of his eyes.
He did not stop them—just tearing down as hard as his heart allowed him to pour.
This pain.
It was much different from the others he had felt. Maybe it was because this ti around, he had been backstabbed by those he actually cared about.
Those he loved.
He coiled up into himself, fingers squeezing the blanket tighter, searching for comfort he knew the bedding would never give him.
During the past loops, his goal had always been clear.
Wake up and change the day’s outco.
But what was he supposed to do in this situation?
How was he supposed to act?
If Handler’s life had been in danger, Soren would not have hesitated to bring the blade to his own throat in order to change that outco.
And this was the sa choice he would have made for Ratler and Slacker, too.
But now? He was confused.
Who was he to fight? Who was he to protect? Who was he to destroy?
In this manner, Soren remained on the bed. He did not eat, nor move from his spot, all day.
Just lying there.
Until it was evening and ti for him to be released from the prison.
But he did not want to leave. After all, what use was there in leaving?
In fact, one might say he dreaded the thought of it.
He dreaded the outcos that would play out.
To see his beloved’s smile forever frozen in the cold.
To see her insides plucked like red ripe fruits off a tree.
And to see it done by people she loved the most. People he loved.
"Co on. It’s ti for you to leave." The guard spoke up again.
But Soren did not respond. Just lying there.
The guard walked over, trying to lift him. But Soren shoved him away roughly.
"Leave ALONE!"
A Soulbound’s strength was no joke.
The guard slamd into the opposite wall.
The guard was stunned by this and imdiately spoke into his walkie-talkie. "Ahhh, I think we have a code orange in cell A311."
Soon, Soren’s cell was filled with guards.
And by the ti he knew what was happening, he was sitting in front of Doctor Kaya.
The clinic was not so huge, but it was very functional.
At least this part of it was.
There were beds for patients, and dical apparatus arranged neatly at different corners.
Of course, Soren barely registered them in his mind.
Kaya, lollipop in mouth, leaned forward and used a small clinical touch light as she opened his eyelids, one at a ti.
Scarvguard stood not so far away.
"You know there is no need for you to be here, Bushy beard. I can handle myself perfectly."
"I know, its not you I’m worried about. I move from my spot, and I worry the next ti I see the kid, you would have poked him full of holes."
She giggled a bit. "Awwn, you know too well."
Scarvguard rolled his eyes. "So, what’s the problem with the kid?"
"From what I can tell, he seems to be suffering from a severe case of..." She paused a bit.
"Depression."
Scarvguard could not believe what he had just heard. "Depression!?"
"How is he suffering from depression? Today is supposed to be his release date; additionally, he has only been here for a week."
"I don’t know. But it’s definitely depression. And it hit him hard." Kaya replied.
Scarvguard sighed loudly. "This is absolutely ridiculous." He massaged his brows. "And here I thought he would have left before Major Boyed cos to take him to the academy tomorrow."
Kaya looked at Scarvguard with interest. "Oh, a soft spot for a prisoner?"
"Kaya, just stop it. Can’t he... be fixed or sothing?"
"Hey! That’s too insensitive. At least he is not attempting self-harm like soone I know—after his dream girl pledged loyalty to the church." Her gaze fell on his left arm.
Instinctively, he hid it behind his back.
"Kaya..." His frown deepened. Then he sighed again. "Just fix him. I have so much work to do." He stepped out.
But then peeped in again. "And don’t poke holes in him."
The warning ca at the right ti, as Kaya had raised various syringes the mont Scarvguard stepped out.
She sighed, leaning back into her chair.
However, after a while, her eyes settled on Soren again.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.
Silence.
"Hmmm, I see. It’s not going to get better, you know. Just worse. And the things that will happen—will happen.
And then you’ll just hate yourself more for it."
Her gaze beca distant for a bit, as if recalling certain mories. But then she shook her head, obviously throwing them away.
"I understand if you don’t want to talk. But we are all in a continuous state of grief. All we can do is push forward regardless.
This world is too harsh, too unforgiving to wait for you."
She stood up, digging into her hair for a candy bar.
She took one last look at him before walking out.
However, she did not notice that bit of clarity in his eyes.
We are all in a continuous state of grief...
Those were the words Commander Jared had said to him on the first day he woke up, realising he would never see Machos again.
And then more of those words ca to his head.
When you have lost a thing or a person, rember that nothing of what has happened is new or strange. Every event is familiar and customary, one might say, to the human race.
"Doctor Kaya," Soren called.
No answer. He sighed.
"I know you have not left." He muttered.
Her green bushy hair peeped from behind the door. A cunning smile on her face.
Soren turned to ask. "Is it true that nothing happens that has never happened before?"
"Hmmm... As long as it concerns the human race, and how we interact with emotions and our environnt, then... yes. Yes, you can say that."
"What about loving?" He whispered.
She nodded lightly, stepping into the room fully. "Especially loving."
"But shouldn’t we protect the things we love, or... love us?"
By now, the tears had begun flowing again.
Kaya dropped her candy bar on a table and sat on the chair in front of him again.
"I see. That’s why you’re hurting so much. You think that all loving has the sa color. You think that all lovinghas your color.
You think.
’If I love truly, then the world must respond in kind.’
The beauty of Ignorance," she shook her head. "Let tell you a story..."
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