"What?" Zhang Jiren looked at his wife in disbelief. He was probably hallucinating right now. To hear Li ili promising such big words towards him was shocking.
To share the rest of her life with him— was she even serious? Zhang Jiren's jaws hardened as he looked at her.
No, he doubted that. Why was he being serious with a drunkard? It would have been a different case if Li ili was sober and knew what she was talking about. He knew that Li ili wouldn't talk like this when she wasn't under the influence of alcohol.
Zhang Jiren didn't dare believe her words in her drunken state, no matter how he wished that she was telling him the truth. It was alright that she didn't love him, for he knew that as long as she wanted him to be there, he would be by her side.
"I said I would share the rest of my life with you. Isn't this enough?" Li ili asked him out of despair. Her cheeks were dusted red. Her large pair of eyes blinked at him, looking at him in confusion.
"Why aren't you saying anything?" she demanded, visibly upset, that Zhang Jiren wasn't saying anything in return.
What else did she need to do or say to prove that she was serious? It wasn't easy for her to muster enough courage to confront him like this, and yet he wasn't taking her words seriously.
"What do you want to say?" Zhang Jiren frowned. He had no idea how to deal with her at the mont.
"That you won't leave — that you won't keep any secret from anymore."
"Are you telling this because you love or because you still need ?" he asked in return, trying to see deceit in her eyes, but it only showed her despair and confusion.
Zhang Jiren thought that he was really stupid questioning her like this. Again, he should know better not to take the words of a drunk seriously. What was he even thinking? Was it possible that Li ili might have co to love him?
"Forget it. Let's talk about it so other ti. You need to rest, ili."
Just as he had given up on having a proper conversation with her, Li ili cornered him, not wanting him to leave. Wasn't this unfair on his part? Wasn't it too late to talk about this when he already signed their divorce papers?
"No!" Li ili disagreed with him. "Let's talk about this. You won't even talk to nor tell about anything."
Zhang Jiren was dumbfounded. He hadn't thought that Li ili could be persistent like this. What's the point of having this discussion with her? He didn't think it would change anything between them.
Her request was just too difficult for him right now— not when he was sick and knew that he could perish at any given ti. Zhang Jiren didn't want to see the sa sadness and emptiness in Li ili and Tang Moyu's eyes when Tang Beixuan died.
"You are drunk, ili. Why don't you sleep for now? Let's talk about it tomorrow," he urged her to lie down on the bed as he turned off the lights in their bedroom.
Li ili unwillingly did what she was told and looked at her husband worriedly. She couldn't tell what Zhang Jiren was thinking right then. Was he not taking her word seriously? Didn't he believe her one bit?
Zhang Jiren knew it would be foolish of him to believe her words at her current state. What if she changed her mind the mont she was sober enough and regretted saying those words to him?
More than anything, he wanted to be with her and Leyan for the rest of his life. This was not just because he wanted to protect them or not from Zhang Wuying, as the days of the Zhang family were already numbered anyway. But he didn't dare to ask for more than he already had.
It was enough for him that he was able to experience what it felt like having a family he could call his own. He was also able to dote on his niece and nephew and was able to nd his relationship with his twin sister.
This was why Zhang Jiren was content with what he had now and didn't mind if his sickness took his life. The only regret he would have was not spending more ti with Leyan in this lifeti.
He wanted to see the cute baby he held in his arms grow up to beco an adorable little girl like Little Star— to see her turn to beco a young lady he would surely dote on if he was given a chance, and, perhaps, to see her beco a great beauty like her mother.
Alas, the tumor in his head proved to be the greatest obstacle for him to experience all of those. Even if Li ili ca to have so feelings for him, what was the point if his life would flicker out soon?
After staring at his back for so ti, Li ili couldn't stand his silence anymore. She moved to Zhang Jiren and invaded his private space, hugging him from behind, much to his shock.
Zhang Jiren froze; his whole body went stiff as he felt the softness of his wife's body pressed against his. His eyes opened, but he didn't dare to face her. He feared that if he answered her tonight, his decision would waver upon seeing her tears.
Li ili wept in silence, refusing to let him go. They stayed in this position for a long ti before she eventually fell asleep. Zhang Jiren remained awake for a few more hours until he succ.u.mbed to his slumber.
Li ili stirred in her sleep and curled on the bed. She felt like she had a long dream. When she woke up, she felt her head aching. The last thing she rembered was when she was inside her workroom and drinking alone, waiting for Zhang Jiren's return.
Jiren! At the thought of him, mories from last night ca flooding back, making her embarrassed by what she'd said and done in her drunken state. But at the sa ti, she braced herself since she knew that she had to be bold if she wanted to settle the matter between her and her husband.
She rolled on her side and found Zhang Jiren's side empty but when she touched the slight indent, it was still warm, indicating that he just left not a while ago. Initially, she wanted to sleep a little more, but she felt like the issue between her and Zhang Jiren could not be dragged any longer.
Li ili chose to take a quick shower, dressed in a new set of clothes. Her clothes that still reeked with alcohol from last night lay on the floor. When she went out to check on her daughter in her nursery room, Leyan wasn't there. She found her daughter downstairs in the kitchen with Zhang Jiren, who was preparing Leyan's breakfast.
Seeing her husband at ho, Li ili smiled. She felt her heartbeat racing as she stared at his back. She couldn't stop herself and wrapped her arms around him.
"ili?"
Li ili had realized what she had done, but she didn't let him go. Since she wasn't under the influence of alcohol, perhaps Zhang Jiren would believe her now. His body was warm against hers. His familiar scent was deeply ingrained in her mory by now. After rembering what she had said last night, she was a little shy but refused to retreat anymore.
Zhang Jiren placed Leyan's food on her small plate. "Let's have breakfast first."
"En," Li ili agreed and released him. She then washed her hands on the sink before taking a seat next to her daughter's high chair.
Leyan eagerly ate her breakfast, smiling broadly at Zhang Jiren who was feeding her. Li ili thought that she didn't want this to end along with her marriage with him. She realized that she wasn't willing to let him go.
The days she had spent with Zhang Jiren, were precious and happy mories she wasn't willing to end. If she could rectify her mistake and convince Zhang Jiren not to leave, she would do her best to be a better wife this ti. That was, if Zhang Jiren would agree with her.
Once their breakfast was done, the family of three went back to Leyan's nursery room. Li ili took her daughter from Zhang Jiren and sat at one end of the couch, a little nervous of what she and Zhang Jiren were about to talk about.
Zhang Jiren saw her confused expression and sowhat hesitated to have this talk with her. However, he knew the both of them couldn't ignore the problem anymore. He reminded himself that he reached his limit and couldn't possibly ask her for more.
"ili, let's talk about this." His expression was usually calm, but his heart was under turbulence. It was now or never.
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