Endemic Love Chapter 35: You remember now

Even before his heat had truly begun, Le An already knew how much it would hurt, of course he did. No matter how determined he tried to seem, deep down, he’d anxiously awaited these few days, unsure of how he would get through them. Because this was the only thing he could do: grit his teeth and, like every oga, lose the compass of his own body and desires for a few days. If everything went as planned, why not? Others had made it through, even without suppressants.

But now, for the first ti, as his consciousness slowly surfaced on its own, without anyone waking him, tears had already pooled behind his closed lids, waiting to spill. When the sharp pain and burning sensation began creeping back into his body, it felt like sothing he had lived through a hundred tis. Maybe he had. He wasn’t sure anymore.

As his hand went to his temple, the sound he heard made him realize he hadn’t woken up on his own after all. Theo -or his hallucination- must have been sitting beside him on the bed. Le An couldn’t open his eyes, but he could tell the voice belonged to Theo.

"Your fever’s co down a little. You need to take your pills again, Le An."

Le An’s eyelids trembled. Pills... Why did he suddenly feel like crying?

"Le An, can you hear ?"

Le An couldn’t respond. He only tried to open his eyes. When he managed it for a brief mont, he caught sight of three small blue pills resting in Theo’s palm. Pills. His brows furrowed involuntarily, and words, he didn’t know if they were real or imagined, rushed into his mind.

"...You won’t swallow the pills."

"Do you understand...?"

"Wait for ..."

Just as his vision blurred again, Theo’s voice returned, and a finger gently smoothed the wrinkle between his brows. "Shh... must be a nightmare."

A nightmare. Le An felt the urge to speak to Theo, to ask him sothing, but no words ca to mind. His fingers twitched, and suddenly, he felt like his mind was trapped inside a slowed, weakened body.

Theo’s hand gently gripped his chin. The tension in Le An’s jaw, tightened for hours, throbbed with a sharp ache. As Theo’s fingers pushed the pills onto his tongue, Le An felt a pain far worse than anything from heat radiate through every inch of his body.

When a glass touched his lips and cool water wet his upper lip, his entire body shivered. An odd chill washed over him, as though ice cubes were licking and biting at every limb.

"Don’t swallow."

While taking small sips of water, Le An tucked the pills beneath his tongue. He swallowed carefully to avoid taking them in. Only one pill slipped down his throat with the water, and he panicked. But he didn’t even have the strength to cough. He had managed to keep only two pills in his mouth.

The sound of the glass being placed on the nightstand echoed in the silence. A warm, tender hand touched his face, wiping the drops at the corners of his lips. Le An trembled again, panicking, and for a mont considered swallowing the pills. Theo’s gentle hand oddly startled him. Fear overwheld his mind, whispering that maybe he should just swallow.

Why... Why couldn’t he open his eyes? Why did the voice that told him not to swallow keep echoing? Why did Theo’s voice and touch bring such cold dread to his heart?

"This is the last dose, Le An. After this, no more ds. You’ve done well."

So... had he made it through the night without incident? Had his heat really ended? Had he endured it alone, using nothing but pheromones?

Le An exhaled deeply, relief wrapping itself around his chest.

"It’s morning," Theo said. "All that’s left is-"

Theo stopped mid-sentence. Le An didn’t know why. He listened closely. What was left? But the bed dipped, and Theo’s presence vanished. Le An didn’t realize when he’d left the room.

Then it struck him, he had felt this exact mont before. This disjointed awareness. The uncertainty of whether he was alone or not, the hands that touched him, those who told him it was all a dream, and others who told him it was real.

And the lump in his throat, the one even water couldn’t wash away, was still there.

In that very mont of solitude, a pair of hands gripped his arms. Le An jolted awake, his eyes flying open as if it had never been a struggle.

The person before him... was Taras.

"You..."

Le An stared at him, dumbfounded, unable to speak. Taras cupped his chin, turning his face side to side, examining his eyes, eyes that, compared to just hours earlier, followed Taras’s gaze more clearly.

"Did you swallow them?"

The mont Taras asked, Le An felt the two remaining pills lting between his teeth and gums. He shook his head quickly. So it had been real; soone had told him not to take them. That voice hadn’t been a dream.

Still in shock, Le An put a finger in his mouth and removed the half-lted pills. Without knowing what else to do, he held them out to Taras.

Taras stared at the pills. "There were three."

"...What?"

He released Le An’s chin and took the pills from his hand. "He gave you three."

"I..." Le An didn’t know what was happening. "I think I swallowed one... by accident."

Taras sighed and set the remaining pills on the nightstand. Le An watched him, this man who now sat across from him on the bed, and saw a troubled expression on his face that reminded him of a mory long buried.

"Y-you’re too cruel... No one would ever want to be your enemy. I- I never wanted any of this. If I knew, if I’d known, hic..."

The words he had said to Taras before his heat started ca flooding back. His face burned. Had he said sothing else? Was that why Taras was here now?

But why... why the pills? "W-why?" he asked, his voice unsteady.

A mocking expression appeared on Taras’s face. "You don’t rember anything." He sighed.

In this room where night and day had lost aning, it was hard for Taras to remind Le An of everything he’d endured. He had thought that once Treasure vomited the last pills and woke up, everything would co flooding back, and with it, horror. Instead, that naive expression remained.

So he said nothing. Taras just turned away, needing to think. The fact that he was angry at Le An for not rembering proved to him that he was being irrational. He sighed again.

Really, what was he doing here?

Soon, the sun would rise, and his morning dungeon assignnt would begin. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He had responsibilities. He should be leading his people.

The day had already broken. The real plan surrounding Treasure must have been about to go into effect. As Taras imagined people entering through the sa door behind him, especially an alpha assigned as Le An’s mate, his back tensed.

His eyes snapped back to Le An, and for a mont, his troubled expression vanished in shock.

Le An’s gaze was locked behind him, toward the slightly open bathroom door, filled with pure terror. Sounds followed the images in his head. Sentences. The cold floor. The tub was lit by a faint light in the corner. His eyes blurred with tears as visions turned into snapshots, then mories, and then sothing between reality and nightmare.

He clutched himself, eyes darting between the bathroom, Taras, and the door. The icy chill returned, and he could feel the cold water biting into his bones.

"So," Taras said simply. "You rember now."

A dark satisfaction rose inside him. He looked away from the tears spilling down Le An’s cheeks and grabbed the bottle of pills from the nightstand. He tried to press it into Le An’s clawing, trembling hand.

As Le An clutched the bottle, Taras glanced at the scratches the oga had left on his own arms. He recited the label aloud: "Diozefen is used as a sedative... to enhance ntal disorientation. Used to reduce clarity. Its active ingredient increases the frequency and length of ntal illusions."

Le An stared at the moving shape of Taras’s mouth. "No... w-what?"

"Yes," Taras said, taking the bottle and setting it back down. His voice dropped into a murmur. "You were betrayed, Treasure."

The word landed heavily. The sarcasm on Taras’s face didn’t fully settle. And Le An... looked too broken to even et his eyes.

"Is it all... real?" he asked finally.

Taras gave a single nod, and Le An suddenly noticed how damp his hair still was, the bitterness in his mouth, the sting in his eyes.

His wrists... His body bore red marks. Sothing pulsed at the back of his head. Taras had seen him strike it against the edge of the tub. He now watched in silence as Le An instinctively rubbed that spot.

Taras’s gaze trailed over the bruised body, lingering on the faint slash marks he had touched earlier. Even now, fully aware, Le An didn’t seem strong enough to fight back.

Silence rang loudly between them. When Taras heard three people coming upstairs, he stood from the bed.

"They’re coming."

Le An looked at him, then at the door. "F-for the pills?" His hands went to his temples again. His breath hitched, as if about to cry. "I... I don’t understand, why..."

His gaze drifted back to the bottle. Le An still hadn’t regained all of his mories; he hadn’t yet realized that the real reason they had drugged him was to bring him an alpha mate.

Taras looked at the door with deadly calm. He had to vanish into the shadows now. But sothing in him hesitated.

He turned back to Le An. A strange unease stirred inside him. He couldn’t go further than this, no.

Not yet.

"You’ll understand soon," he said.

A dark halo of shadow began forming around him.

Le An’s eyes darted to him in panic. "A-are you... leaving?" The words sounded like abandonnt.

Taras faltered for a heartbeat.

The shadow paused briefly but resud swallowing his tall figure. Without eting Le An’s eyes, Taras whispered, perhaps too softly for him to hear, "I’ll co back."

Because the one who would face what had been done to Le An...

Had to be him.

The door opened, and the voice of soone already mid-conversation filled the room.

"With the ice baths and dications, we’ve got him in exactly the state we need. He’s constantly hallucinating, completely dulled. But still, be gentle. Treasure is a very sensitive og-"

Silence.

Three people stood frozen like corpses, staring at Le An, who was now fully awake.

The doctor.

The assigned alpha.

And... Theo.

Le An’s eyes locked onto Theo’s pale, drained face, and did not move.