After that, soone ca to our house every night. In the early morning, at irregular tis, they would quietly linger by the front gate before leaving, and the housekeeper discovered them. There was no doorbell, so I asked how she knew, and she said she watched the CCTV. But I didn’t bother to check the CCTV myself. It was obvious who it was.
“I’m never going out. Do you think I’m crazy enough to go out and end up being ssed with?”
To explain my situation: it’s running away. No, maybe it’s exile. Or is it more like locking the gates and holding out until the end? If you ask whether this is because I’m afraid of Go Yohan, the answer is ‘yes.’ But I knew this siege was the wisest choice. Go Yohan doesn’t respond to direct confrontation.
“Face-to-face, I’ll be the one looking foolish. Why would I bother eting him?”
However, this siege has a big flaw. There’s nothing to do, so eventually, I end up thinking about Go Yohan.
The expression on Go Yohan’s face that I couldn’t see that day, only the part of him beneath the neck that I saw. That image kept haunting like a ghost. I regretted not lifting my head back then. I should have looked. I should have forced myself to look, even if I had to be stubborn. My imagination bound tighter with every passing mont.
What kind of expression did Go Yohan have at that ti?
My emotions couldn’t be simply dismissed with one word. The many complex feelings, situations, and realities swirled around, like colored clay, each piece stuck to itself and not mixing. It would’ve been better if it had all rged into gray. But before the colors mixed, Go Yohan always managed to do sothing that disrupted it all. When the gray clay is covered with color, swirling, twisting lines are ford. Like paint, poorly mixed and sucked into a drain.
Every morning, the housekeeper would silently watch , and after a week, she finally asked:
“Are you really okay not going to school?”
The question stung. It felt like I was being scolded, and I hurried to co up with an excuse.
“I’m sick. I have a really bad cold lately.”
The housekeeper, who shared the sa space with , must have quickly noticed my lie. But she didn’t seem to mind much. She just nodded once and didn’t ask again.
Actually, I did go to school a few days ago. The boredom and the hellish imaginations that constantly haunted were suffocating.
I had put on my uniform, which had a strange sll since it had been sitting unused for so long, and made my way to the school gate. But the sound of the bell and the raucous noise of teenagers weighed heavily on , pushing away. In the end, I couldn’t even go back ho, wandering aimlessly around the neighborhood, caught in the housekeeper’s watchful eye. I didn’t return ho until 12:30 PM.
With nothing to do, whenever I lay down on the bed, that scene would always co to mind like a nightmare following . Go Yohan, below the neck. In my dreams, I tried to lift my head to see, but I just couldn’t.
When I woke up from the sleep I had drifted into, I found myself drenched in sweat, like it had been raining. My room wasn’t even hot. My body was burning. I wondered if I was actually coming down with a fever, so I quickly washed off the sticky feeling. As I walked out of my room in my shower robe, I ran into the housekeeper, who casually said:
“She asked about your phone.”
Am I the only one embarrassed? Feeling awkward, I quickly untied the robe.
“It’s broken. I’ll buy a new one soon, please tell her.”
“Okay.”
After drinking so water and changing, I noticed the lingering sll of Go Yohan on . I shouldn’t have borrowed that body wash. I should have just told myself to wash with water. So frustrating. To vent, I threw the robe on the floor. The sound of it falling was the only release for my anger.
“……”
Why does that bastard keep showing up, getting under my skin? Everything had cald down. Things were going well. Or no, not in the past tense, it’s still going well. Yes, it is.
So, as I thought deeply, I filled the sink with water. When it was deep enough to cover my hands, I dunked my head in. Then, my thoughts began to quiet down.
I held out until graduation day. Sohow, I managed to hold out.
****
The day before graduation, I finally turned my phone on. To my surprise, no one had contacted . I was speechless for a mont at the quiet screen. I guess this is what my social circle really looks like. Considering all the sneaky things I did, it’s no wonder people would dislike .
I had blocked Go Yohan, so I didn’t know if he had tried to contact or not. Either way, I didn’t care. He had been sneaking around our house like a thief all night, so I wasn’t interested. Or rather, I pretended not to be interested.
At that mont, a delayed ssage ca through. It was from my horoom teacher.
“Jun, I’m sorry.”
It was from my teacher. I could feel a wave of misplaced hope in those few short words. For a mont, I actually felt sorry. Had the days I spent hiding from them been like those of a stranded person, walking through the desert without water?
I looked at the clock. 9 PM. It was a terribly inconvenient ti. If only I had found the ssage five minutes earlier. I hesitated for a mont before deciding to send a short reply.
“I’m fine, and don’t worry about .”
After sending the ssage, I turned to get so water, but right then, my phone rang. As expected, it was my horoom teacher. I hesitated for a mont, then took a deep breath and answered the phone.
-Jun, why haven’t you been answering? I’ve been so worried!
“I’ve been really sick.”
-Oh, goodness...
“I’m sorry. Were you really worried?”
-Jun, I’m really sorry. I... I thought... Well, I really shouldn’t have assud things.
“It’s fine.”
The teacher seed so apologetic, I couldn’t help but feel even more guilty. I wanted to tell them about the acceptance news to ease the awkwardness, but I feared Go Yohan would hear about it, so I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I just kept repeating that it was fine, like a parrot.
And then, the day from hell ca.
This ti, I had another nightmare about the headless figure and woke up, only to realize I was still in the nightmare. I barely got up, washed myself, tugged at my school tie, and sighed. I could feel my lower lip quivering from the breath I exhaled.
“Don’t go to college, beco a civil servant.”
“......”
“You’re good at studying. Study more and join as a civil servant through the high school special recruitnt. That’s your way. You must’ve already spent all the money for your grandmother’s treatnt anyway.”
It was an unnecessary intrusion. I knew that, yet I said it anyway. Ugh, if I hadn’t wiped my face with the back of my hand to hide my expression, I would’ve probably shown my disgust openly.
“Ah, uh… thank you.”
“I'm going now.”
Before I did sothing even stupider, I took my leave. Uh… From a distance, I could feel Han Taesan still wanting to talk, but I left without looking back. And as I felt his annoying presence fade, I thought to myself that this would probably be the last ti I’d see him.
When I reached the entrance of the auditorium, it was already packed with people. The path was blocked by parents in their fancy clothes. Even if I fought my way through, I was sure I’d only see things I didn’t want to. The thought of it sickened , and I quickly gave up. All I needed was to take a picture of the graduation ceremony with my phone cara.
I turned around, positioned myself so the graduation banner would be in the shot, and turned on the cara. Click. The photo was taken with a brief flash. When I checked the screen, it turned out quite well.
“…The speech from Class 2-3’s An Ji-Soo, who earned the highest marks this year, will now begin as part of the successful celebration of graduating from high school…”
Ah, I’m glad I didn’t go in. I glared into the auditorium with a thoroughly disgusted face. And at that mont, of all tis, why, why, did I end up locking eyes with Go Yohan, who had turned around? I should’ve rembered that Go Yohan was the tallest in the school. Of course, he would be standing in the back.
“……”
I felt my pupils widen. The faint sunlight in the air pierced into my eyes. The sharp light blurred my vision, and I squinted. Run away. My survival instincts scread through electric signals. I covered one eye with my palm. Run away. When our eyes t, Go Yohan turned his body completely. Reflexively, I lowered my head to avoid looking at his face. His feet ca into view as he pushed through the crowd, drawing closer.
Run away!
The mont I saw the tips of his shoes, my feet finally left the ground.
I ran. I just ran, blindly.
But my body instinctively found its way to a familiar place and direction. The hallway I knew well, the stairs I knew well. I grabbed the railing, gasping for air as I climbed. I heard the sound of footsteps pounding fiercely behind . Rapid, urgent footsteps.
“Ha, ha…”
In extre situations, the body works miracles. I swallowed my exhausted breath and ran again. The sound of my running and the footsteps chasing didn’t quite match, as they rapidly closed the distance. I couldn’t see, so I didn’t know how far he was. Terrified, my eyes searched for an empty classroom.
I found a random classroom, opened the door, sighed in relief that it was open, and quickly closed it. I crouched down beneath the desk, holding onto its legs.
I sat quietly, focusing on my breathing, trying to be as still as possible.
The world outside was eerily quiet. After a few minutes of that stillness, I started to feel reassured. It was just my imagination. Go Yohan hadn’t followed . It was just the phantom echo my delusions had created. I felt oddly comforted by that belief.
Still, cautious as always, I slowly lowered my body to sit on the floor without making a sound.
“Damn, that scared …”
“……Jun.”
The reassurance I had given myself was instantly shattered. My whole body stiffened. The sound ca from behind . I moved only my neck, turning slowly.
There, panting, was Go Yohan.
“……”
He took a step closer. Another step. With each step, the ground beneath us seed to vibrate. The vibrations traveled up my hand that was still pressed against the floor and shot into my brain. But my brain, already dead, didn’t react. Even before Go Yohan got right in front of and lowered his body suddenly.
“……”
I only thought to myself, “It’s coming.”
Instinctively, I squeezed my eyes shut and raised my hands to protect my head. I shivered in the dark for what seed like forever, but the pain never ca. It was strange. My heart was pounding wildly. I couldn’t hold it in and finally opened my eyes slightly.
And what I saw was beyond belief.
“……Go, Go Yohan.”
“Thank you, thank you, really thank you…”
Go Yohan had buried his head beneath , holding onto my legs. The leg he was holding had gone numb, the blood no longer flowing. I could tell by his voice that this wasn’t sothing Go Yohan had planned.
“Thank you…”
My dead brain couldn’t process his words of gratitude. I was too shocked. It was inevitable that all my thought processes had ceased. My brain had been tortured for so long.
“You bastard, no, I… I didn’t co here to see you!”
Still stunned, I shoved Go Yohan’s shoulder hard, who had buried his head beneath . As he fell back, I saw his face lift up, and for the first ti, I saw the face I had been searching for in my nightmares.
That face.
I couldn’t describe it with words, nor could I draw it. It was a face that could only be rembered with my eyes. The blackened brain turned to ash. It was such an overwhelming face that I couldn’t even store it in my mories. I stuttered, “Uh, uh…”
The pain in my eyes from the light started to fade, and the world beca clearer.
It was like the world was trying to remind to rember this mont.
I saw Go Yohan’s true form, the one above the neck, which I had been suffering over in my mind.
A nightmare, Go Yohan, pupils, a dead brain. Nothing was rational. Even I, who was part of it, wasn’t rational. Everything I had experienced and heard, all the emotions and words, tangled together.
“Well, maybe a kiss would fix things.”
The circuit breaker flipped up so easily. And so, I did what I did.
I approached Go Yohan while kneeling. And I kissed him on the face that I would never forget. Surprisingly, my first kiss didn’t taste like lemon or li; it tasted salty.
“……”
“……”
Pushing Go Yohan’s shoulder away, I locked eyes with him. Our gazes t, changing like a spectrum of light, shifting in many directions. When the colors finally ford a rainbow, I finally ca back to my senses.
Damn, crazy bastard.
My body sprang up like a spring. I wiped my lips with my rough, filthy palm. My flushed face quickly built up another defense chanism. I supported my shaky body by placing my hands on the desk. Still kneeling, I looked at Go Yohan, who was looking up at .
“This, this is enough, right? We’re done, right?”
“……”
“Then, it’s over.”
With that, I turned and fled. As I looked back one last ti, I saw the classroom from my second-year class. Sohow, the inside of the classroom seed familiar. It was the sa classroom where Go Yohan and I had t.
If you are reading this translation anywhere other than Novelight or SilkRoadTL, it has been stolen.
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TL Notes: Hello my dears! Today we finished volu 5 of the book. I hope you like everything :) Tomorrow we start with volu 6.
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