I didn’t even breathe, just spoke. "Your mother ca to see ."
He dropped his hand. "Ah fuck. I’m sorry. I should have known and warned you. I can only picture what she would do and say. Were Jon and Bitsy there?"
Of course he would worry about them too. That was Reed. "No, and I’m glad. Jon could handle her, but she would have scared Bits."
"I’ve dealt with her for years, Jaycee, and I can tell you she’ll lie and manipulate to get exactly what she wants."
I gave him a slight smile. "You an you don’t have a fianceé heading into town?"
He lifted his hand again and smoothed my hair, using his other hand to trace my lower lip with his finger. "I want a fianceé, but that’s a talk for later. What else did she say?"
My heart rate picked up, but I refused to give into what Reed offered. "It doesn’t matter what she said. I know a little about your family history. I know your mother married your dad for his money." I reached my hand up and covered Reed’s. "I know your dad died loving your mother."
Reed’s face changed. Sadness showed, maybe a little anger, but he didn’t look away. "I don’t know why he loved her. I know there were tis he hated her, but I always knew the love was there too. Their relationship has nothing to do with you and . I can promise you that."
I shook my head. "No, you can’t. It has everything to do with you and . I want the security your money would bring to Jon and Bitsy. It would change our world. It already has changed it. I’m just like her. But I care for you too and I can’t do it. I can’t take a chance that soday you’ll hate , but even worse that you might still love no matter what I did."
Now anger flashed across his features and his hand tightened against my head. "You are not her. Nowhere close. She had one agenda when she t my father and it’s been her agenda her entire life. She only cares about herself, never my father, and never . You’re different. You put Jon and Bitsy before yourself. You take nothing and expect nothing. Don’t ever compare yourself to my mother."
I managed to hold back my tears. "We’re from different worlds, Reed. I will never fit into yours. I will drag you down and keep you from finding soone suited to your lifestyle. I-"
He cut off. "Bullshit. You’re looking for excuses. All that matters here is that you love . I love you, Jaycee. I fell in love when you waited on my doorstep and gave back the balls. I knew it then and I know it now."
I had no choice. "I don’t know if I love you. I know I want to."
He let go and stood up so fast my head spun. He stalked across the room, turned, and barreled back, stopped, and bent forward so he spoke inches from my face. "You’re a liar. You’re just afraid to trust what we have." He reached forward and tangled his hands in my hair, holding so I couldn’t move. "We are not over, Jaycee. I told you that earlier. I will fight for us if you won’t, and I. Will. Win."
I drove the nail deep. "You can’t make love you, Reed."
His devastated look about killed . "Fuck this, Jaycee. I damn well can." He pulled up and slamd his mouth down on mine.
I responded. I could never hold back from this part of him. I was addicted to his taste. He made sure my lips were swollen and used. Then, he released .
"I’m going back to my room with Sal. A car will pick you up tomorrow at noon and take you, Jon, and Bitsy to the stadium. We’ll go to Disney on Monday like planned, but then I’ll arrange for you and to spend a day alone together. Think about what you’re saying and be ready for a fight." He turned and walked out the door. He closed it quietly and did the sa to the front door.
I sat on the bed completely stunned. I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t expect him to refuse leaving him. I told him I didn’t think I loved him and he saw right through . He always had. I still didn’t get what attracted him to my family. He could have anyone, why shackle himself with us?
For a second night, I didn’t sleep. I sohow avoided tears, but my eyes were puffy the following morning. We ordered room service and ate at a large table in front of another set of windows overlooking the golf course. I could see rolling fields of green with orange trees along the edge of the course.
Bitsy talked non-stop and Jon was unusually quiet, casting furtive glances every few minutes. I finally got a chance to talk to him once Bitsy took a shower.
"Have you spoken to Reed this morning?" I asked.
He looked away. "No."
"Okay, do I need to guess what the problem is?"
He faced , his lips tight, hands clenched. "I heard part of your fight with Reed last night. I didn’t an to, but once I knew what you were doing, I kept listening. You do love him, but you’re going to ruin your life and I don’t fucking know why. Do you think he doesn’t want us? Is there sothing you aren’t telling because you think it’ll hurt my feelings? If we aren’t part of Reed’s package deal, I’ll understand why you can’t just accept what you feel for him. But I don’t think that’s it. I think you’re scared. And hell, Jaycee-Shumways don’t do scared. We don’t run away and we don’t lie."
Jon was angry and I didn’t bla him. I was confused and yes, I could admit it-scared shitless. The tears I’d held back rushed to the surface and I covered my eyes and just cried.
Jon waited out. He didn’t try to soothe ; he didn’t try to stop my tears. When I finally looked at him, his anger was all but gone.
"You can’t always do it all, sis. Breaking into Reed’s house was because you were desperate. If you would have talked to , leaned on , we would have figured out a way."
I laughed through my tears. "It was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, but it brought Reed. I can’t regret it."
"Then why are you fighting this? You love him. Hell, I’m only fifteen but I can see how much he loves you."
Not even Jon could understand my fear. "I don’t want to take advantage of him, use him. He deserves better than what I have to offer."
Jon’s mouth tightened. "Thanks, sis, that makes feel wonderful, and I’m sorry but I don’t think anyone on earth that spent ti with Bitsy wouldn’t love her. But go ahead, let us hold you back. We would hate to shackle Reed Tyler with the best family on this earth. We’re Shumways and don’t need anyone for any reason."
"You know that’s not what I ant."
"But it is what you ant, and now we’re back to you being stupid." He threw his hands up. "I give up. Maybe Reed can talk so sense into you." Jon stord out of the room, but he wasn’t nice like Reed, he slamd his bedroom door as loud as he could.
n, you can’t love them and you can’t throw them out of a twenty-second floor window.
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