There’s a longer pause before her next ssage arrives. When it does, I can practically hear the lowered, sultry strain in her simple words. And I regret just a little not taking her up on the call to listen for real instead of only imagining it.
K: [I’m glad. If I’ve helped.]
A slightly shuddering exhale leaves rubbing my temple. I can’t just let her think she was the solution to my problem. Whether it has been sowhat true or not, that gives her... too much leverage.
C: [You should go back to work.]
K: [I’d rather not. I’m stuck looking at a set of plans for three weeks out. Getting to chat with you has been the unexpected highlight of a drab day.]
My face feels warm but my lips turn down quickly. Three weeks... is when I’m supposed to go back to the clinic. Because of a pregnancy this body - this Helene - got itself into before I arrived.
> She doesn’t know about that. Would she be turning on so much charm if she did? <
Vrika gives a whine of ’probably’ while I appear in my mindscape as I am. Blanket covered and holding a phone in one hand. The black wolf approaches and curls into my side, letting place a hand on it for comfort.
K: [The storm should pass within the hour according to the weather service. It hasn’t ruined your day, has it?]
C: [No. Nothing’s ruined.]
But I don’t believe what I say. I’m too cynical to think that the truth will make it better. Too much of a coward to reach for optimism over this. And in any case, it sort of relieves .
C: [Just need to finish what I started.]
Part of knows that I’ve already clung on to her - to the possibility. And that part is so much quieter than the firm voice of bombastic authority I’d developed to deal with people.
K: [I have confidence you will. You’re strong, Citra. And you seem like a person who has the talent for accomplishing what you set your mind to.]
The praise sent warmth through my chest, arms, face and... everywhere. I tried to convince myself it was just a business owner’s touch. Like a speech ant to increase the productivity of a worker.
K: [And on the rare chance you can’t do it alone... you can consult . Okay?]
Trembling... I bring the phone up closer to my lips, hit a button on screen and speak into the microphone. When my finger taps to send, I realize it looks different than before - but too late.
My ssage appears differently. With a sideways triangle and a single second of... audio recording. I realized quickly that I’d sent a ’voice ssage’ instead of a ’text-to-speech’. Putting the phone to my ear, I tap to play it and hear how I sounded.
"Thank you."
Soft, barely audible over the rain, with obvious distress and sense of weakness. I begin to panic, knowing that there is a way to delete ssages but not if it might prevent her from seeing it - from hearing it.
Of course the response ca much too quickly. I hadn’t even finished ’tapping and holding’.
K: [You’re always welco. Stay safe, Princess. I really am here if you need anything.]
After a second, I shut off the screen. Calmly sat the phone on the floor beside . Then fall backwards with my hands covering my eyes. The back of my head bounces on the shipping container floor.
In my mindscape, Vrika also bellyflops on my chest when I show up in the sa position, while wagging its tail. I have no desire at all to engage with the spirit, but I just know it’s part of my soul affecting its behavior right now.
Twisting with emotionsI don’t want to na or look at.
> I want to play with her, not you... you’re suffocating. <
But I still make a claim to one of the feelings that are a part of , at least. Recognition of how unafraid to pursue passion I am, once we are on even footing. But she’d probably try to mark ...
And thinking of the danger of that and whether I can keep her remaining patient or not... really isn’t helping my attempt to dissuade myself from approaching her!
⧖ ☾ ❄ ☽ ⧖
The rain continued to fall even after the worst of the lightning and thunder passed. Knowing it probably wasn’t wise, I still uncurled from the ground and started moving around. Finding one of the battery powered lanterns from the hunter’s hideout first.
Fumbling with phone-light and package of [D Batteries], I eventually get it going. Placing it on a shelf at different heights continues to be unsatisfying. It feels like it’s imperfect to use to work by, no matter what.
So I waste my ti with a second one and feel slightly better - and slightly worse - about the dual light source setup. More light but it also doubled the shadows!
I resolved to figure out a solution in the future. If I’m going to be stuck in this shipping container other tis in the future, good lighting is essential. Helene’s mories are already even suggesting so possibilities.
Her family may have made her give up her dreams, but that didn’t an she completely stopped taking glimpses at magazines for interior design... when she could get a hand on one. Or reading text heavy blogs about it on her terrible old flip phone.
> Didn’t make her less ignorant about so much of your world. But I do respect her a bit for not completely buckling in private. Only a bit. <
The plastic around the package that was inside the PVC cache was thick. And honestly, if it wasn’t for the packing list, I wouldn’t know what most of this was by sight alone. The short-wave radio was moderately familiar thanks to her mories, but that was about it.
So kind of [signal booster]. Compact and listed as military-grade. Looking up what it does seems like it would lead down a ’rabbit hole’, so I stop while I’m ahead and just internally label it as ’maybe sell’.
The real treats were devices Helene recognized from spy novels but had never seen in person. Night vision goggles, a handheld thermal imaging cara, and several pieces of other small electronics with labels I couldn’t pronounce because they were just letter and number designations.
Then there were instruction manuals for them that were written in technical language that might as well have been foreign. Even worse than so of the jargon on the hunter’s app forum!
At the bottom of all that lay a set of solar charging equipnt - small, high-efficiency panels that folded down to the size of a book. But from what I look up on my phone, it could provide power pretty much indefinitely... with the correct additional setup and sun exposure.
"Well, all that stuff seems like more than would fit in the one container. I guess he hoped he could source the rest elsewhere?"
I photographed the contents with my phone to keep busy. Carefully packing everything into appropriate seeming spots in the shipping container. Then I began to do the sa throughout everything else in the ’maybe sell’ pile.
Because the packing list I saw now seed like a good idea. A record of what I have in the Stash, so that I can maybe look it all up and see how much I should be letting it go for. Without needing to summon it all just to see what is left.
One short snort escapes , very un-Princess-like. But I couldn’t help but think of how I’d teased and made fun of the daughters of rchants who complained to about being asked by their fathers to help take inventory.
> How terrible it must be for a vixen to have to help manage wealth, right Vrika? As if they were not given nearly everything they wanted. Cages far wider than mine, but no one is ever satisfied to keep them clean. <
They just want to get out of them.
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