Entering the [Deep Focus] state again, I notice how my skills have not gifted anything as active as raising dough. They fall more into a manipulation and support category. Self-support, obviously, but still support.
The book does not want to learn magic from its tit. Is this the foundation of a well-rounded mage gunning for [Archmage], or is it that everyone goes down this path? In my focused state, the first answer seems more plausible.
I crack my neck and get back to work.
[Advanced Mana Sense]
I look at the matrix levitating a few ters from , and I pick out ten different points I could start from. I choose eight on one side, and two on the other. Its a clear imbalance that should allow to see how this polarity works.
Its much harder than Id initially thought.
I fail to fill up the wobbly lines more than once. In the end, its the seventh attempt that goes well.
Even though in this case well is a bit of a stretch.
The [Light] orb I created suddenly speeds up toward the wall, then it brakes, and starts going once again. It continues its choppy dance for about ten seconds, before hitting the wooden walls with a soft thud.
I summon another matrix and this ti I just stare at it.
I investigate the lines as if they could give an answer.
Why was the movent so jerky?
I just put more points in the direction I wanted the [Light] to move and they
How am I going to get a circular motion?
Thats another concern.
But [Deep Focus] brings back to the staggered pace.
The first ti I was tracing it, the book highlighted how important ti was. The dinsions Im working in are not just spatial.
How much ti you need to trace a line influences the outco.
How much mana you use for each line, too.
And how many points.
These are three variables, so far.
Ti, space (points), quantity.
A creepy sensation cos over and I shiver, quitting at once the [Deep Focus].
I know what this is.
Holy Mother of macaroni.
This is goddamn Physics!
I now want to pull out my hair, one by one.
How can it be Physics?
It doesnt make sense!
I summoned ten [Lights] based on intuition, improvisation and focus.
But wasnt I simply manipulating different vectors?
I have a gut feeling.
St. Peter almighty, please shield my soul from those terrible mories.
The jaggedness cos from vectors.
I swear, I have tears in my eyes.
I like to say that Im not good at science, but its mostly because I dont want to be good at it. Now, you might think what an arrogant self-entitled prick, and so of you might even be right!
But the truth is that math is hard. You only get so far with a great understanding. You have to put in the hours if you want to understand greater problems!
My sadistic professors took pleasure in torturing with always more complex problems. My mother even told that they should hold back a year if I refused to do them. My own mother!
Wasted talent.
For Gods sake.
Shoot .
I swear to God.
Soone, go take a pistol and put threeno, twenty-three bullets in my brain!
I refuse!
I said, I refuse!
I still rember my Physics professor jokingly saying, co on, Joey! Physics is more enjoyable than math! Its all about thinking, not just stupid numbers!
A Physics doctorate student used to co to my bakery and hang out with at tis. The few tis he talked about his job, I felt the primal need to choke him.
I dont want to learn!
If I watch National Geographic sotis, its only because I hope that one day a tiger will maul the caraman and they will let us enjoy trash television in peace, without the need to watch a docuntary every once in a while to avoid feeling guilty.
If I need brainy monts, I look into books. And even then, fiction, or ancient epic poems. Non-fiction is for people who believe they will be the next Elon Musk. Bless them for trying, for sure, but Im not interested in your 4-hour workweek, pal.
I dont want to optimize my life; I dont want to run faster or learn better! I want to enjoy the ti I have, thats all!
And Physics is my archenemy.
But Im forced to look at the matrix again.
Because now Im interested.
Goddammit.
Thats the worst. Thats how the professors tricked : they would pique my curiosity, titillate my ego, and make feel much smarter when I solved one of their stupid thingies.
And now I cannot look away from the matrix.
I think Ive figured out a part of the problem.
This polarity thing is about making the vectors go in the sa direction. But they are not firing at the sa ti. Theres not just a force behind them, which makes them go faster or slower, theres an actual trigger, isnt there?
This is utterly fascinating.
I dont even need the [Deep Focus] right now.
I simply stare at the world made of mana in admiration.
If any scientist worth their salt could see what Im seeing right now, they would soil themselves from all the excitent.
Whats a vector?
Its like a bird that starts flying and pushes sothing or just goes sowhere.
It can push or fly, that simple.
Here, we have a bunch of birds flying away at the wrong ti, causing a chain-reaction. Imagine a bunch of cars stuck in traffic, very close to each other; now, each car accelerates at a different ti instead of moving when the green light is on or when the car in front moves. So, they bump into each other at an irregular interval.
I click my tongue, ready to tackle the problem and low-key hating myself for it.
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