Doctor.
You know, I could have been a [Doctor] back on Earth. Sorry, a doctor, I tell the hot woman as we track down the idiot who threw a knife at Princess Bianca in the market.
I couldnt have not been one, she replies back.
What? I say, crossing my eyes.
My fathers influence on my life was too big. I was destined to be a doctor from the day I was born to my mother. Could have never beco an architect like her. Did not have a knack for beauty like she did. But, as luck goes, I had my fathers knack for wanting to fix stuff.
Daddy issues?
What kind of doctor were you?
Cardiothoracic surgeon, she says with a smirk. At least I one-upped my father in that. I worked for Doctor Without Borders for most of my life. Worked in warzones as well.
Oh, what kind of doctor was your father?
Orthopedic surgeon.
Well, could have been a good [Necromancer].
God, Penelope says with a sudden shiver. Dont even say that.
Why? Wouldnt a bone doctor be good at skeletons?
Or boners, hehe.
Good? My father would make it his life mission to be the strongest [Necromancer] ever to live.
Why? Wait, was he a good orthopuppy?
Penelope tches and shakes her head.
Good? He was considered the best. Did a couple of heart surgeries to prove to he could do that as well when I made fun of him for being a second-rate surgeon.
What? Can you do that?
Not really. Not if you are not him.
Man, I imagine the comparison with him must have been terrible for your boyfriends, I say, mmming to myself. You know how the boyfriend always wants to be better than the girls dad and the other way around?
We are almost there, Penelope says as we near a residential area of the citadel. It looks like a very boring place. Its not like the lair of the Fellows, the Snack--Snake Bar? Wait. The... Poisoned Snake? No. Maybe? JESUS.
Wait, what are you doing? I take Penelopes arm as she goes up to a door with her hand already raised to knock.
Knocking?
Mh, right? I say, embarrassed.
Penelope knocks on the door. For real, this ti.
A plain-looking woman, middle-aged, with a child on her shoulder opens the door for us. I can feel the blood pumping in my ears as I anticipate the upcoming shitshow. As my mother always said, Im not great at confronting problems. Probably not even decent. Especially with people. Either things go very smoothly, or I fill my head with too many questions and abstract thoughts to do sothing practical.
Are you the--
Excuse , Penelope says, stepping forward and gently pushing back the woman. [[Im Here To See A Patient]], miss.
As if by magic, the woman instantly nods and moves to let us both in. She doesnt utter a single syllable in protest, switching from a slight scoff to an apprehensive expression.
I enter a house that is a bit ssy but that clearly presents signs of housekeeping. And children. Two things that dont go well together. I hear two very young voices talking and screaming, mostly laughing out loud, from one of the rooms. The place is a bit cramped if I have to be honest. Its like a tight corridor that brings us to a kitchen-cum-living room.
I see a man with pale skin and a lot of sweat on the couch. Its the sa piece of crap who threw a knife at Princess Bianca; hes now taking deep breaths and trying to look over a piece of parchnt, clearly distracted by the leg hes trying not to rest his weight on.
Whos it, darling? he manages to utter right before his eyes zoom in on .
You?! he raises his voice, but the agitation has him not thinking clearly as he tries to stand up. In response, a sharp jolt of pain makes him hiss like a snake and fall back on the couch while his face contorts in pain.
Penelope ignores the man and moves over to him, simply uttering.
[[Soothing Touch: Pain Relieved For A Day]], as she touches him, the man takes a second to widen his eyes, relaxing imdiately.
This should help with the pain, Sir, Penelope smiles at the now confused man, Im a [Doctor], and I take care of injuries and diseases. Your leg is broken, I gather. If it was because of the small pig, there might be multiple fragnts swimming around in there. Do you mind if I check it out really quickly? My friend has co to apologize, and you can hear him out in the anwhile.
Uhm? he looks at Penelope with a frown, but he also realizes theres no more pain in him, but sothing was clearly bothering him before. He shoots a pained look at the parchnt and shrugs.
Do what you must, he says, defeated.
As Penelope gently moves his leg on the couch, having him lie down, I scratch my head at a loss for words. I dont know where to start, honestly. Do I say that I apologize but that he was a massive dick for trying to knife down Princess Bianca? Do I also tell him he was being a racist pig? h. That wouldnt be an apology.
Sothing my father told a long ti ago cos to my mind.
These Aricans can never say sorry, the old man roared, furious, even when they make a huge mistake, theres always a goddamn excuse. St. Peters grace, Joey, never do that! Children and idiots do that! When you apologize, especially if its a senior you are apologizing to, just say that you are sorry for what you did and shut up! If the other person is smart enough, they will apologize back if they have any fault in it. Otherwise, you have done your stupid part, and you can go your way. They wont better themselves just because you did the right thing, but at least you will have done the right thing.
Hey man, Im sorry about my pig, I say, Ill pay for whatever she broke.
I almost add at normal market prices, but then I bite my tongue. Lets not add anything to avoid a aningless conflict.
The Elf looks at , ruminating on a response, while Penelope is moving her fingers around his knee. I see so weird stuff moving under his flesh, but the guys gaze is clearly focused on , and he doesnt seem to be paying any attention to his body.
We got word that you tried to assault Princess Laura.
As soon as I hear those words, I can feel the blood rushing to my ears. I have to take a deep breath to avoid shaking or shouting because this is just preposterous!
That conniving little bitch!
She ca to because she wanted to go on with the engagent, I tell the guy. But wait a second. You know what? Do you have a truth stone, maybe one that is lie-proof?
I have a normal one, he says, fishing it out from his bag of holding.
Perfect, put it on the table. Fuck personal relationships.
He cautiously moves it to the table, where everyone, even his wife, can see it.
[Princess] Laura refused to talk to after those cunts in the arena tried to kill . The fact that I was considered a criminal for months stopped her from pursuing the initial agreent we had. And the original conditions were that if I won the duels, she would accept the engagent. Marriage would co after more conditions had been fulfilled. And I had the highest-ranked mber of the Royal fucking Family guarantee that. So, she reneged her promise and then ca back as soon as I got myself out of my problems with the [Archmages] by agreeing to teach them and the academy what I know about magic. They agreed. When she ca back to and we are talking about the sa woman who did nothing when Marcus wanted to fucking kill I told her to fuck off. So, I gather that she took offense and started spreading rumors about . Well, fuck her. Im not just a better [Mage] than her sorry ass will ever be, but Im also more fucking honest.
Green. Green. Green. And guess what? Motherfucking green!
Im raging inside as the man looks at with wide eyes and looks back and forth between and the stone.
And man, if you dont believe , please get a better truth stone. Or even get people with fucking truth stones for all that matters. I dont give a fuck. Ill prove it to anyone who doesnt believe . I surely made a couple of mistakes with [Princess] Laura, but shes lying her ass off to save so face.
I turn to see that the woman has a palm covering her mouth, and the small child in her arms is stirring.
Your leg is ok now. I set the bone. Drink so health potion, and it will be all right. It will take a few weeks before the bone is as strong as before. Try not to overdo it. You can move weight around, but dont push it. You might break the bone again.
Penelope winks at right before asking: Anyway, do you happen to have any tea?
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