Im on my knees in a rare act of prayer. My eyes are closed, and my hands are joined.
Sotis it's important to stop. The past events have gone over like a [Tsunami]: the Princess sorry, Princesses and the change I'm undergoing.
After all that happened, I ask myself, are you still you, Joey Luciani?
What happens if you lose yourself? What happens in the crazy race for power when shit really goes down? Will I go mad? Will I beco an empty shell, dominated by fear and impulsiveness?
And if one day I'll be too deep into it, too late to go back, what shall I do?
I wonder, Mom if you are watching . I wonder if you are up there sowhere, looking at your son. I know you wanted to take responsibility, Mom. And I know it's too late, but if you were right about the whole Heaven thing, Im sure that's where you went.
I t a lot of wonderful people here. So are a bit crazy. And I say that in a derogative way, obviously. I t a woman who tricked I'll not say what nas you would call her. But even then, I think Id learned sothing. And I had my fair share of fun.
Now, though, Mom, things are moving faster than ever for . I promised I would save two continents from war. That sounds ridiculous, doesnt it? But it also sounds like sothing I would be saying.
If you are there, Mom, Id like a sign that Im doing the right thing, that Im on the right path. Im not sure I am. Im not sure Im not. I just need a few words, a whisper, even. Id take so of that cryptic biblical stuff you loved so much, too.
And if you are listening, dont worry, Im eating a lot. Im fine. I think Ive actually put on so weight in muscles. All that adventuring, moving heavy stuff, and so on, you know? Its hard to tell without a proper scale, to be honest. People here are less concerned about their weight compared to back ho.
I find myself not missing many things, if I have to be honest. Not even that treacherous cat. I have a pig now. I an, a Wallorian Treasurer. Dont tell her I called a pig. Apparently, thats a faux-pas.
My magical research is going pretty well. Lord Juler is a great teacher, and hes guaranteed so privacy in my thoughts unless I summon him myself. It was getting a little creepy.
Yeah, then, theres my Stanimal. He was a King in another life. In this one, though, hes my manager. He knows his stuff and has a huge grey dog, Mom.
Lucillus and Antoninus are making a boatload of money compared to their previous job. They walked out of the Watch for . Honestly, Im still processing that. I did not expect people to be so supportive of . I feel like a protagonist in those Japanese cartoons and its wonderful.
Camilla and Flaminia often visit here. Camilla usually takes out to dinner, and she had us kicked out from more than one place. Shes a hurricane, Mom. You would have loved her as a daughter-in-law. In many ways, shes like youloud, cheery, and always talking about food. Then, there is Flaminia; she is not making much progress with Lucillus. There might not be a spark there, sadly. I just hope my pal wont take it too hard.
On the one hand, everything moves slowly and deliberately, Mom. On the other, I feel like I have gone through a myriad of changes. You would barely recognize if you were here. Man, you would probably love both Quintus and Tiberius, my two sous-Chefs. They are old-school, like you, sort of. You would probably beat them up for wasting so many ingredients in their experints, but you would have fun with them Im sure of that.
So, yeah. Plus, there is a bunch of other people around . Domitilla will take lessons from shes Julias daughter and Agostinas niece. Shes cool. And I think it will make Princess Laura slightly jealous.
And speaking of Laura, shes your actual daughter-in-law-to-be. I am extrely confused by this developnt. I proposed getting married as I propose all absurd things in the world, right? But she actually accepted. I an, I do have to go through a deadly set of duels with the best [Mages] in the academy. But she accepted! How crazy is that?
I wonder if you would have passed your ring to her, you know? You always said that you would do that once I settled down with a nice girl. I an, Laura is pretty racist; you would have liked that. Dont get angry, please. If you do, dont start swearing in Italian, Mom. Im sure your company in Heaven wouldnt like that. Is she the right one, Mom? I would have really appreciated so feedback here. She confuses a lot. She seems the most despicable person at first, but then she worries about . Is it a ruse? I dont think so. I could ask Lord Juler or Stan. But I want to do it on my own. This ti, Ill be careful around her. Ill make reasonably sure its not going to blow up in my face. Just I dont know. Give your blessing. Make a shooting star go off or sothing. I an, Im in my room. Do sothing. Maybe make my bed? You know how I am. Always lazy.
Mom
I dont know. I wouldnt have minded bringing you here. We talked so much about taking a long vacation in Italy together, but we never did, did we? We would have had a good ti here. I an, as long as you wouldnt have dated any stupid Elves, Mom.
We never got to visit the archaeological sites in Sicily that youd always raved about. All the ruins from the Ancient Greek era and that stuff. I would have loved to sit in the Syracuse theatre with you. We could have watched so stupid tragicody together, you know?
Yeah, thats it.
I just hope you were proud of .
If not, I beg you, watch do it right this ti.
An.
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