Casual Heroing Prologue

Prologue

Original Length: 862 words.

Post Revision Length: 1148 words.

Sotis, a book is a book.

When you are on the sweaty subway, though, its an excuse to stare at so weirdos without being punched in the face. Or maybe, to stare at the ladies!

And sure, my dear Dostoevskij, you might be right when you write that murder is indeed an interesting dilemma. But see, 150 pages just to ponder about it, thats a bit too much, isnt it? You could have trimd it down to twenty, maybe even ten!

Maybe its not just about the Russian accent sounding so rcurial; maybe your people do like to brood over things until the sun goes out. And looking at how long so of those books are, I an when the sun literally stops working.

Now, look at that lady over there, my loquacious writer. She looks like my future wife, doesnt she? Wholeso, classy, and a bit bookish, huh?

I an, she doesnt have a book, but she looks like she reads them, I think! But, even if she didnt, would that turn off? For all I love to be transported in St. Petersburgs streets with you, I wouldnt mind if this girl wanted to bring to Arbys.

But you, Fdor, you know that I will indeed ponder for much more than 150 pages before mustering the courage to ask her out. I an, if I were to kill soone, I would ponder nothing near 150 pages, just so advice for you, Fdor. So next ti, please make it shorter. But here, here we are talking about asking my charming subway crush! Its a much more serious matter!

Killing soone is easy! And why should I care about it? But romance? Despite all the cri shows popping up in the last fifty years, my dear Fdor, romance is still worthy of more thought than murder itself.

Oh no, shes staring back. Goddammit, co on, Fdor, do a favor and shield from having to grow a pair, you damn gambling addict! Make this thick unreadable thing worth its retail price! Please!

Im trying to look inconspicuous, but I fear my presence has been noted. Alas, it is ti to commit seppuku. Goodbye life, its ti for to ascend to another world, and

Oh man, shes still looking at !

And not just looking!

Oh my

Hi!

Now that shes up close and we are both standing, I can see that her whole face smiles. Her eyes are sparkling, and two tiny pearls at her ears sohow drag my attention to her toothy smile.

She looks like an ad for a dentist studio depicting the perfect next-door childhood crush. This woman jumps on the balls of her feet with such a cheery smile that Im probably just having a stroke. Of course, this cant be real-life, can it?

Hello! I gather the confidence that I only have with won and baking.

Do you want my number? she winks at .

She winks and clicks her tongue.

Breathe, Joey. Breathe.

I know, I know. My new subway crush just used my move. And with this, she has now stolen both my move and my heart.

Here we go. Civilization is going to end, isnt it? Cute subway girl wants to give her number just like that?

Co on, this doesnt happen in real life!

I can see tomorrows headline already.

Joey Luciani gets asked out by a girl on the subway, the moon explodes, and now the tides are currently swallowing the entire planet! Thank you very much, Joey! This is all from the end of the world!

Nah, too long to fit in the newspapers. Maybe they would do a TV service while the world is ending. Yeah, thats more like it.

You want my number or not? she asks again, this ti with a smirk.

I just spaced out. But Im always ready for a last-minute save. I ssed up enough tis in my life to know how to get out of any pickle.

You are just too beautiful, and I got stumped for a mont, I pronounce the cheesy line with the courage of a person who already lost his dignity eons ago.

Her vibrant laugh goes off amid the sweaty and noisy subway, making it my personal Garden of Eden for a mont. She shakes her head and gives a once-over. Then, after a few excruciating monts where shes evaluating if Im good enough as a potential date, she whips out the phone.

Victory!

Give your number, Casanova, and Im Vanessa, by the way, she winks again.

Now, after three winks, I start fearing that she might have a tic or sothing.

Here we go, couldnt be a normal one? Nope, not for ! She has a tic! Those are too many winks, arent they? But should I ask her if she has a tic? It doesnt seem like the wisest dating move.

What do I do? Im way too deep already to pull back now!

Im Joey, I wink back.

So, putting the tic questions aside for another mont, I start spelling out my phone number, and she gives a ring; and now I have her phone number.

She smiles again and, in the sa way it happens in films, the subway stops precisely at the right mont; she smiles at one last ti, making my heart jump out of my chest, and then she gets off.

Holy moly, I am living the dream!

Emboldened by Lady Luck, I try the unthinkable.

Its ti for the cheesiest move in the world! Its ti to ask her out to dinner tonight, right here and now! Maybe even Ill even give her a kiss! Why not! Today, nothing can go wrong! Nothing! I feel like Im on top of the world! The cutest girl just asked out! Im invincible! I have defeated luck, finally!

I jump out of the seat, and I start running at the closing doors, barely making it through them. Not even Brad Pitt could have looked that cool and unfazed as I just did!

Then, I blink.

I blink, once again.

And I blink, another ti, just to make sure.

Yeah, this is not New Yorks subway, is it?

A vast treasury with enormous riches and artifacts stands before . Swords, your standard straight-out-of-a-comic golden coins, so more glittering swords, armors on mannequins, or just armor pieces thrown around in the golden coins to make it look fancier.

A truly artistic and well-placed hoard, I find myself sighing with a hint of boredom.

See, I am not shocked.

What did you expect from ?

Should I be surprised that I just traveled in space, ti or whatever, when my subway crush just asked to exchange numbers? What did you expect exactly? Because, Im telling you, this is exactly what I would have expected.