My brain hurts, but that ans I’m alive. It feels like my entire body has been scrambled, as if every nerve has been hooked up to a random part of my body. I try and lift up my head and a dozen different muscles contract and expand randomly with a great whirring sound.
My mind isn’t any better. I feel pain, every artificial nerve screaming out for attention. And that pain is the only emotion I feel. There’s no more excitent, no more fear, no more hope. Only pain.
For agonizing hours I sit there, trying to move, to rewire my very brain to handle this new body.
Ever so slowly I begin to understand.
I focus as hard as I can through the pain on one part at a ti. I try to move random bits until my talon curls, my beak opens, my wing lifts. Slowly but surely I adapt. My nerves quiet and with all my focus I stand.
At so point it’s as if a switch is hit and my pain disappears, only to be replaced by a burning anger. I open my eyes for the first ti and see him looking worryingly at . Why is he worried? He did this to . This is what he wanted.
“Are you ok, Oculus?” He pretends to care.
“Angry.” So part of my brain knows I shouldn’t be, but the anger won’t leave. A small feeling deep inside is the only thing that keeps from climbing up there and pecking out his eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“Quiet.”
I’m better than this. I can’t be controlled, even by myself. I was the first out of the egg, the first to be fed, the first to trust and the first to talk.
How dare he curse with this. I can picture myself getting my revenge. It’d be so easy, and it’d feel so good.
Gabriel reaches out to touch and I lash out, taking a chunk out of his finger with my razor sharp beak. Blood sprays out, covering my new, beautiful tallic feathers in red. Gabriel pulls his hand back and yells loudly in pain.
I was right, it does feel good to get revenge. I take a step forward and flap my wings, trying to leap at him. I’m not used to my body enough to move like this, and miss. I go spiraling off onto the ground. I don’t let that stop and stumble towards his toes. Gabriel panics and jumps onto the table I just flew off of.
“Oculus! Oculus stop! What are you doing!”
I look up at him clutching his bleeding finger and fear in his eyes. Fear of . Why did I do that? What’s wrong with ? My anger disappears in an instant and is replaced with a sha just as strong.
“Sorry.” I drop to the ground, unable to even pull together the energy to remain standing.
“What’s wrong, what happened?” He slowly climbs down onto the ground, ready to jump back onto the table at any mont.
“Nothing. Sorry.” I force myself to stand and hide myself at the back of a nearby table. Nobody should have to see .
“Oculus, talk to . What’s going on?” Gabriel can still see when he ducks down, but he keeps his distance.
I don’t respond, I don’t deserve to respond. Not after what I did. What I am. Why didn’t I trust my gut? I knew this would turn out poorly, and I did nothing to stop it. The only small comfort is that I didn’t let the others go first.
I stay there for days while Gabriel tries to coax out. I’m so deep in my sorrow that I barely notice his words. Over the course of those days my sorrow slowly fades until suddenly, as if another switch was pulled, it disappears, leaving feeling nothing.
I finally stand up and walk over to Gabriel to start climbing up his leg as if nothing ever happened.
“Oculus?” Gabriel looks down in surprise at climbing him. “How are you feeling?” He reaches down and offers his finger instead of having to climb, which I take. Within a second I’m perched on his shoulder just like I always was.
“Ok.” I respond. I’m feeling nothing right now, but it’s better than what I was.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Alright.” I can tell he wants to ask more questions but doesn't want to react poorly again. Especially when I’m on his shoulder.
“Machine bad.”
“Yeah, don’t worry. We’re not going to put the others through that.”
“Good.”
I can feel he still believes that this technology could save people, but I know none of the others are as strong as . They would not survive.
From here Corax’s mories beco fragnted, as if his subconscious is resisting reliving these mories. I’d be fine with him keeping his past to himself, but I’m unable to stem the flood of his mories into my mind.
I catch glimpses of him and Gabriel working together to blunt his emotions, and to get used to only feeling one at a ti. Though Corax relapses sotis, just like , he makes quick progress.
Then cos the mories he fights the hardest to keep to himself. I catch enough glimpses to piece together a tiline of events. Storms co more and more often, and even when Gabriel can leave, he always cos back with less food. He gives everything he could to the birds, even at the expense of himself. I see him growing thinner with every new flash of mory.
Finally a storm cos, large enough to entirely bury the building they’re in. Corax can feel a growing certainty. They will not survive the storm.
“Oculus, co here.” Gabriel calls to with barely enough strength to stay awake.
I fly onto his shoulder, knowing this will be the last ti we talk. There’s nothing to say and nothing I can do can change the inevitable. With the last of his strength he reaches one finger to the back of my neck.
“I don’t want you to see this, sorry.”
The mory ends.
The next ti I awaken I’m outside, for the first ti since I hatched. I know everyone is gone.
“Hey boss! Take a look! This one works!” A man cries from above .
I don’t wait to see any more. I take off with one powerful sweep of my wings and ascend into the great blue. The man tries to grab but he’s far too slow. I’m on my own now, I’m not going to be kept down by anyone.
I glide far above the barren earth. In the distance I can see storms of sand and lightning, they’re easy enough to avoid however.
I don’t know where I’m going, just that I need to go. It’s that or think about what happened, and I can’t do that alone. If I fall into a sad emotion, I won’t be able to pull myself out of it.
After days of travel I can feel my energy beginning to wane. Not having a way to recharge myself is one of Gabriel’s biggest oversights. Maybe if I fly long enough I’ll find a way to fix his mistake.
As the last of my power drains I finally co across a great land of scrap. Towering hills, far larger than the room I once called ho, are laid out in front of .
I guess this is what I’ve been looking for. If I’m going to find a way to recharge myself anywhere, it’d be here.
As I search my wings no longer have the power to flap, and I gently glide down to the only people I can find. I don’t have a good feeling about them, but it’s my only choice.
“Battery.” I croak out as my consciousness begins to fade.
“Oh, Case is going to love you.”
Corax’s mories beco twisted and distorted from there. Full of a primal anger and violence, just like the dog I t so long ago. Soone twisted him, turned him into a living weapon, a guard dog for a castle.
The man responsible is ever on his mind, Case. Many people looking like him try to enter the castle, but no matter how many he kills, they keep coming.
Corax knows a lot about him, more machine than man, he rules his castle with an iron fist. Any perceived slight against him and he turns you into a living processor. Fully conscious, but can do nothing except follow the commands of the machine you’re tied into.
Corax’s mories return to normal just a little after he escaped. The only flashes of mory that exist from his escape is a storm knocking out the power for a mont, then flashes of bullets and blood.
I’m free once again, free to roam and free to fly. I should leave, but sothing keeps here. So feeling telling against all reason that it's better to stay than to leave.
Going against my feelings has only brought pain.
I make a small nest to hide in, and fly back into the air. I follow my gut like a compass, leading in circles for much of the night.
Finally, standing just outside a blown out concrete house with another human, I find what I’ve been looking for. A woman with nearly pure white skin stands guard. Her movents aren’t smooth like the other beside her, they have the subtle jerkiness I’ve co to know with my own body. She’s like .
I cry out in relief without thinking, only to quickly stop. The ones who captured are likely still searching. I observe her all night, listening, learning. The one she’s with goes inside, only to be replaced with another. I need to be prepared, to know all I can about them. I don’t doubt my feeling, but just rushing in is sure to go poorly.
Night turns to day and yet I still watch from my hidden perch. In the morning one of them runs off, only to return a little later. Four of them prepare for sothing while the fifth runs off once again. She returns with many n in tow, leading them to the slaughter.
Even from here I can feel my goal’s discomfort. She runs around the back of the house, unaware of the single man who broke off from the rest to co from behind. She kills him.
The runner cos to check on her, only to be shot as well. My goal runs off while the runner looks more angry than hurt.
I follow my goal just a little down the paths, only to see her fighting ghosts in her mind. Perhaps she’s not the one I’m looking for, she’s too unstable. I must have misread my feelings, I must be searching for another.
Deep into the night I follow my gut. It still demands I stay, but offers no direction.
A net fired from a hidden gun atop a scrap mountain envelops . My wing breaks on the ground once again. Three n surround , n I recognize, I can see the anger in their eyes.
I’m saved by my goal.
One or both of our subconsciousness decide to end it there and I return to my own body. I lay in the frozen grass in front of the castle. My body is no longer a monster. I’m myself, but with large chunks of my back and limbs still missing. Corax stands above , fury in his face, but no longer directed at .
“Corax?” I choke out in a half conscious state.
“Blue. Unplug. Safe soon.” He pulls a map out of his pocket of the bunker my physical body is in. It shows a path to where Corax is plugged into whatever mainfra is down here. He turns without another word and heads into the castle.
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