"If the souls I devoured remain in my body, then I’d only know if I were reconnected to my bo—!"
She cut herself off abruptly, her expression shifting as she realized her slip.
Noticing this, Jamie’s eyes narrowed.
Seeing this subtle change in his expression, fear flickered across her face for the first ti as she stepped back, clutching her heart protectively.
"NO! DON’T. EVEN. THINK. ABOUT. IT."
She could already see the thought forming in Jamie’s mind—the idea of reconnecting her soul to her body.
’For him to even consider it, it must an my body is intact enough to house my soul.’
But for soone who desperately wanted to stay DEAD, such an idea was nothing short of a nightmare.
Seeing her reaction, Jamie recalled her words from when they had left the first chamber of this dinsional realm—the place where he had first found her.
She had said that she wanted to die.
"Why do you want to die? Even now, you offered your heart and asked to destroy it, knowing full well that it would an death claiming your soul."
Jamie said as he stepped forward.
She instinctively took a step back.
Her instincts scread that the current Jamie had no intention of granting her the peace of death she so desperately sought.
’...does he plan to torture with life?’
For soone yearning for death, being forced to live was a tornt worse than any punishnt.
Given that she had killed Cassiel, Jamie’s disciple, it wasn’t beyond reason for him to ’punish’ her by keeping her alive against her will.
As Jamie stepped closer, the woman’s body trembled and she moved backwards. She clutched her heart tighter, the faint light radiating from it flickering in response to her turmoil.
"You’re afraid."
Jamie spoke, his calm voice piercing right through the depths of her desire.
"Afraid of what might happen if I choose not to grant you the oblivion you crave."
Her lips pressed into a thin line, and a bitter chuckle escaped her.
"Afraid? My first coherent mories were mories of being in captivity!
Do you know how long I spent yearning for freedom? How many centuries have I dread of breaking the chains that bound ? And when I finally did, all I found was more chains, heavier than before."
Jamie stopped a few steps away, his hands clasped behind his back, his expression unreadable.
"You can’t possibly understand."
She continued, her voice breaking under the weight of her own words.
"I was forced to destroy worlds, entire galaxies, without a choice. I devoured quintillions of souls. I heard them scream. I felt them fade away inside .
And all the while, my mind was trapped—an observer to my own atrocities, powerless to resist."
Her real emotions poured out, the truth of her suffering embedded in every word spoken with her trembling voice.
"I begged for freedom. I scread for it, fought for it, but it never ca.
And after so long, that desire for freedom... it twisted into sothing else. Death beca the only escape I could imagine. The only peace left for ."
Jamie chuckled after she spoke, shaking his head as he asked.
"You really think death will give you that peace?"
She laughed bitterly, the sound hollow and cold.
"What else is there for ?"
Her voice cracked as she spoke, the weight of her words heavy with despair.
"Do you think I have any other desires left? Millions of years... millions of years of enslavent. Do you have any idea what that does to soone?
I can’t even rember the last ti I felt sothing other than hatred, emptiness, or this wretched desire for it all to end."
Her grip on her heart tightened as she continued, the emotions in her voice increasing with each word.
"Death is the only thing I’ve wanted for so long. If it weren’t for the damn order binding , I would have thrown myself at Pinecone when you were there.
I would’ve gladly let you obliterate from existence like you did to that damn bastard! But no, that bastard’s order wouldn’t allow it. It forced to find the most ’efficient’ way to accomplish my task.
Efficient!"
She spat the word like it was poison.
"Even when I fought that woman’s husband, I hoped he could kill . I wasn’t fighting him—I was begging for release in the only way I could. But he couldn’t do it. No one could.
Not even death had rcy for soone like ."
Jamie put his hands in his pocket silently watching her as she vented the emotions that had been festering for eons.
When she finally stopped, he spoke.
"Hmm...I think this is the part where I’m supposed to say sothing like; "I think you deserve the freedom to decide for yourself. You’ve spent millions of years being forced to act against your will. Don’t let those chains define you now. —isn’t it?"
Her reaction to his words was rather visceral.
"I don’t fucking care anymore!"
She scread, the sound reverberating through the chamber. Her emotions were so out of control that she lost control of her transformation, her face literally cracking for a mont.
"Freedom? What the hell does freedom even an to now? It’s just another lie. Another goddamn illusion I’ll never touch!"
Her hands trembled, clutching her heart as if to crush it. But she couldn’t. In her current state, she couldn’t end her misery by herself.
"You don’t get it, do you? I don’t want freedom. I don’t want anything! Whatever I used to want... that’s ancient history. I don’t care about choosing. I don’t care about redemption. I don’t care about living!"
She took a shuddering breath, her voice dropping to a whisper.
"And yet... even after I died, even after I thought it was over, so part of still wanted to be rembered. That’s why I created this prison. Or maybe it wasn’t even . Maybe this place is just my lingering madness given form."
The woman let out a depreciating laugh, a dry and brittle sound filled with more resignation than mirth.
Jamie’s gaze drifted across the fractured spatial chamber as he thought about the mories housed within this dinsional realm as he spoke.
"So, you want to be rembered."
Her expression froze. She didn’t respond, but the flicker of sothing in her eyes—a shadow of yearning, perhaps—betrayed her.
She wanted to be rembered after she was gone, but not as the Fallen Terror, the dreaded Amorphous Space Beast. No, what she truly yearned for was soone—anyone—to recognize her suffering. To understand that she had endured just as much pain as those she was forced to inflict it upon.
She had a simple desire for soone to rember her as she truly was, rather than the terror she was forced to beco.
Seeing this, Jamie nodded silently.
Truthfully, he was a bit torn on what to do with her.
Should he tornt her by forcing her soul back into her body, sentencing her to a life she no longer wanted?
Should he grant her the release she so desperately sought and destroy her?
Or, perhaps the cruellest option of all—leave her here, suspended in this prison of mories, neither alive nor truly dead.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair as his gaze fell on her trembling form.
She couldn’t destroy herself, that much was clear. In her current state as a soul, she lacked the power to destroy her heart, the core of this mory prison.
That was why she needed him—to end it all for her.
But Jamie wasn’t sure he could give her what she wanted. He thought about the devastation she had brought to Pinecone, the pain she had caused Lapis and the lives she had ended.
Yet, the knowledge that these acts weren’t of her own volition lingered in the back of his mind.
’But do I really care about all that?’
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