Kellen felt like a kid waiting for his parents to co back from shopping. He was holding their spot because the coffee shop was full of people. Kellen didn’t know this, nor did Brent, but apparently it was tradition at the Saturn Guild that the day of a deploynt to the front lines, the Espers and Guides who were going would swarm the coffee shop for the last ’good drink’ that they would have.
Kellen kind of understood what they were doing. Alcohol was the only thing that really traveled well to the front lines. Everything else didn’t have a good shelf life, or didn’t last that long. Tea was shitty, so was coffee. Canned drinks lasted longer, but were harder to get out there therefore, they were more expensive.
So, they were all in the coffee shop even at this ti of the morning. Kellen had been shoed over here, Brent and Hill chatting away to each other after they had gotten Kellen’s order and Kellen sat back, watching them.
He was glad that they were getting along. He was glad that Brent was making actual friends, not just pretending to make them. He was also glad that Hill was making friends as well, for the sa reason. He still felt a little...left out. Just a little.
Kellen didn’t want to dwell on the feeling that had been filling him up over the last few days, and instead turned his attention outside of himself and towards the people in the coffee shop. It was once he’d stopped staring internally that he realised that all eyes were on him. Kellen suddenly felt confused, maybe a little flustered as he realised that everyone was stealing glances in his direction.
That was when he realised that a lot of his students were here. Of course, other Guides were getting dispatched to the front lines but in a regular Guide capacity and not a Field Guide capacity. All of the Guides that were in his classes were stealing glances towards him, even as they were chatting with their friends.
As soon as Kellen made eye contact, they began to wave eagerly.
"Guide Woods! Is it okay if I ask you a few questions?" One of them asked, getting up to their feet, their drink in hand before Kellen could even agree. Kellen found himself bombarded with questions, both serious and so not as much, from Guides across the Guild.
Almost all of the Guides hadn’t gone to the front lines before. Apparently very few had volunteered to even go and help out prior to Kellen and Brent joining the Guild, but now they were opening their minds up to the idea of going. They were full of worries. From tents, to food quality, to everything in between.
The Field Guides who were going with the first intake with Brent were nervous. Kellen couldn’t exactly tell them that they shouldn’t be. Brent, Kellen and Captain Sergei had negotiated on what gates the Field Guides were going to have access to. The reason Kellen was speaking so often with Captain Sergei was because he was the Captain that he trusted out there, he could see what the gates were up to, and give Kellen accurate charts because he had worked with him before. He knew what Kellen was looking for when it ca to gate monitoring.
Plus, one of the best gates for training was the gate that the Nesis Guild had control over.
Brent and Hill joined Kellen and his rotating cast of Guides, and a few Espers, and helped him answer questions that the people before him had felt like they couldn’t ask before. He had no problems answering them, and he watched as they all seed to relax, their eyes warming slowly as the tension left their bodies.
Kellen was glad that he was able to soothe them, but at the sa ti, he felt conflicted.
He wasn’t going to see Brent for weeks, and before this, before he’d gone back to therapy and before he had to co face to face with the reality that so of the people he was friends with actually hated his guts and used him, he hadn’t cared much about separating. There was just...this nagging feeling in his chest. This worrying sensation inside of him. Kellen was doing his best to brush it off as nothing. Him just being silly, but it lingered.
Kellen grew quiet after a while, Brent and Hill still answering questions until Kellen realised that their ti was running out. He wanted to give Brent and Hill enough ti to get ready, and say any other goodbyes that they wanted to. He didn’t want to hog their ti.
Kellen got to his feet, his tea in hand. He hadn’t even taken a sip yet, and he turned to Brent and Hill. They were both surprised, everyone was surprised as Kellen got to his feet.
"I’m sorry, I have to go get ready for class. I wish you both the best, and I know you two will do well. Captain Sergei has the best setup on the front lines, and I’ve already gotten approval for either of you if you need to contact Rhys or I urgently so don’t be afraid to go to the Nesis Guild." Kellen told them. Brent’s eyes were wide as he stared at Kellen. Kellen put on his best smile. "Don’t have too much fun that you forget to co back." Kellen joked, his hand tight around his paper cup.
Brent got to his feet, his expression confused.
"I thought you were going to spend the morning with until you had to leave." Brent’s voice held a slight change to it. Kellen could tell he had it, but he didn’t know what it ant. Kellen’s smile tightened.
"You probably have others you want to say goodbye to. I know when I should leave." Kellen said tightly, and Hill got to her feet, her frown deep.
"You aren’t a bother, Kellen." She told him, aning it. Kellen grew uncomfortable. He didn’t want to have this kind of conversation in front of so many people. Maybe the coffee shop was cursed. Bringing out the most embarrassing sides of people.
"That’s not it. I just have to get ready for the lesson, and get a shower and change." Kellen said and Brent’s frown only deepened. He glanced around, looking for a free spot on a side table before he put down his drink and reached out to Kellen with his arm. He yanked the other man close, against him, and squeezed him tightly.
"Don’t go getting any stupid fucking thoughts in your head, alright? You stay safe too. If I hear you got shot again, I’m coming back, damn the training program. I ca here as a favour to you. I don’t care about the Saturn Guild, no offense ant." Brent said, turning his head towards Hill. She smirked, shaking her head.
"None taken. It’s understandable. You wouldn’t be alive without this man." Hill gestured to Kellen, who was getting a little more flustered as Brent continued to hold him.
"That’s right. So, you better stay safe, and let know if Rhys is treating you right. I’ll know if he isn’t. I’ll rope Gwen into this." Brent threatened and Kellen sighed.
"She shouldn’t know things like that. She’s a kid." Kellen protested and Hill laughed, while Brent snorted.
"Yeah. Uh huh. I kid. Sure, big brother, I’ll let you have that one." Brent squeezed Kellen tightly. "You’ve got this. Everything will be fine. The kids will co back safe, and so will I. You trained them, and I’m just there to guide them along. We’ve got this." Brent’s comforting words, the way he whispered them had the sa tight feeling in Kellen’s throat as when he’d said goodbye to his parents earlier.
Ah. He was going to miss him.
"Thank you." Kellen said, wrapping his arms around Brent and giving him a squeeze. Brent held him for a few monts longer before he pulled back. Kellen noticed his eyes weren’t dry, but he wasn’t crying. Brent gestured for Kellen to move along.
"Go give Karen a hug before you have sobbing like a baby. I didn’t see you for months, but now one month is making this emotional? Damn you, Kellen. I think I’m going soft. I have to get back to the front lines or else my skin is going to get too smooth." Kellen nodded, following Brent’s advice and Hill welcod him with open arms, giving Kellen a tight squeeze.
"We’ll be fine, you worrywart. Although, it is nice to know that soone wishes for my well being." Hill teased, and Kellen gave her a tight squeeze. "Jeez Kellen! Mind the organs!" She joked, but understood why Kellen squeezed her. He didn’t need to put it into words, her following sigh telling him that she understood. She knew better than to make jokes that she had no one who cared about her besides Kellen. Rhys did, and so many others.
Too many, if Kellen could voice his own opinion, but to each their own.
"You both stay safe. Don’t go too crazy. Stay away from the gate." Kellen said around the tightness in his chest and both Brent and Hill nodded, as Kellen pulled away from her.
"Yes. We aren’t stupid, but thank you for the reminder. Now don’t you have a class you need to teach? Get out of here, Kellen. We’ll be fine." Hill told him, smiling, and unlike Kellen, she ant it. Kellen swallowed, nodded, gave them one last look, before he practically ran away, going to the elevators.
Once inside, he stared down at the tea in his hand, his chest aching, and then closed his eyes. He leaned back against the elevator wall, waiting as it brought him up to the gym level. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought. He could make it, though. He’d made it before now, he could do it again.
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