[BL] CRAVING HIM: Addicted to His Voice Chapter 186: In the Fire of Love and Lies

~Zayn’s POV~

The last ti I ca back ho drunk, the night I collapsed into a deep, alcohol-induced sleep, was the night I found out Nicki was Evric’s ex.

That sa discovery also solidified the depth of my love for Evric. Had my feelings been anything less than absolute, everything I learned in those monts would have sent walking away. I could hardly bear the thought of Evric and Nicki in the past, sharing intimacy, and now the two of us, Nicki and I, had unknowingly shared the sa man.

Earlier that evening, after leaving the house and kissing Evric goodbye, I didn’t drive straight to Dean’s. My mind was too heavy. I pulled over sowhere quiet on my street, resting my head against the steering wheel to collect my thoughts. I hadn’t been parked for fifteen minutes when I saw Nicki’s car pass by. I initially dismissed it, thinking he was eting soone else in the estate, but the thought nagged at : Nicki had never once ntioned knowing anyone in my neighborhood.

The initial confusion soon curdled into curiosity. I waited a few more minutes, then pulled out my phone and checked the external CCTV feed linked to my house. Sure enough, I found Nicki knocking on my front door. I knew Nantam had likely told him I was heading over, so what was he doing at my ho?

When Evric opened the door, I didn’t move my car. I simply sat there, listening to the muffled conversation through the cara’s audio. I broke down and cried. The agonizing thought wasn’t just that Nicki was Evric’s ex, that was painful, but bearable. The truly devastating realization was hearing him attempt to harm . I couldn’t comprehend that Nicki could harbor such hatred, driven by jealousy over a man, that he would resort to such lengths.

After hearing everything, I finally drove to et Nantam and Dean. The more I dwelled on what I had just uncovered, the more I drank that night.

In the morning I made a firm decision: I would wait. I decided to give Evric the chance to tell himself, certain that he must have discovered my friendship with Nicki along the way.

I reasoned Nicki was the key to his sudden, cold distance from my entire friend group a distance that started around my birthday, which was odd, seeing how genuinely kind he had been to Dean during their first eting. He wasn’t ignoring all my friends; he was specifically avoiding Nicki.

I knew I couldn’t lose my relationship over Nicki or a secret Evric kept from .

My strategy beca clear: I would be patient. I resolved that once Evric’s father fully approved our relationship, securing my place in his life, I would sit Evric down. I would let him know I knew everything.

I understood that fear, the fear of causing a breakup, or my anger, was the only thing preventing him from speaking. Once I had his father’s blessing, I would have nothing left to fear.

I told myself I would deal with Nicki myself. And for Evric, I knew exactly how to handle him, without raising my voice, without fighting, and without causing a single physical mark. My plan was set.

Seeing Evric joke about my soreness, nagging over sex, instantly triggered a poisonous thought: he was comparing my performance in bed to Nicki’s. I knew how intense Nicki was; the stories of their daily, relentless sex were legendary.

The thought, that if Evric hadn’t fallen deeply in love with , he might never have chosen soone less voracious, stung. It hit a vein of insecurity, and I hated myself for dwelling on it.

So, as he complained, I snapped. I couldn’t keep the truth locked inside any longer. I stepped closer. "You’re surprised I found out Nicki is your ex?" I challenged. "And not only that... I also found out that he almost killed ."

The playfulness vanished from Evric’s face, replaced instantly by naked fear. He quickly moved toward , reaching out to hold . "Please, babe, listen to !"

I tried to listen, truly, but the rage was too strong. I cut in, my voice sharp. "I do not want to hear anything from you. Not even a single word."

He broke down, the panic stripping him bare. "Please, Zayn, don’t leave ! Don’t break up with !"

A cold smirk touched my lips. "Break up with you?" I said flatly. "Never. Not after everything I faced to get to this stage with you. I won’t break up with you."

But I wasn’t finished. "Yet, for you to speak with like this tonight still shows how much you want to be Nicki."

He opened his mouth to protest, but stopped himself, rembering my command for silence. I seized the opportunity. "I’m sorry, Evric, but I can’t be Nicki."

I stepped right into his space, my voice dropping to a low threat. "And you dare not cheat on . Listen... I will have sex with you the way I can, and you have to enjoy it and be satisfied with it." I demanded, the word a gunshot. "Okay?" I shouted the last word, demanding compliance.

He nodded imdiately, his eyes wide. "Okay."

"Until I’m ready to hear your explanation, do not ntion any of this again," I warned. "And as for Nicki, I know how to deal with him."

I turned my back on him and walked out to the living room, collapsing onto the sofa. I knew Evric. His mind would be fixated on the fear of leaving him; until we settled this, he wouldn’t find a mont’s peace.

I hadn’t been sitting long when he followed . He walked straight across the room, stopping directly in front of . I sat with my forearms resting on my knees, my head bowed into my hands. He knelt down before , gently removed my hands, and wrapped them around his waist.

"Babe, I’m very sorry," he whispered, his voice broken. "I must have been stupid for saying all that to you."

I remained silent, watching him speak, letting the tension coil in the room.

"Babe, please, I’m begging you, forgive ," he pleaded. "You know how much I care about our relationship. I wouldn’t let anything break it."

My response was quiet, but it carried the weight of everything that had passed. "Then answer this question," I challenged. "If Nicki had been loyal to you when he ca to you, would you have chosen him back, or would you still chase after ?"