Little Bowl seed to be at a loss for words.
Recalling how she was so proactive in acting as Zhu Shi’s "wingman" earlier, even calling herself "the bonus for conquering Zhu Shi," this act of willingly placing herself in a supporting role now seems quite contradictory in retrospect. I don’t believe she was lying or putting on a show; she must have been sincere in doing so. However, just as facts can create biases in people’s hearts, sincere actions can also be used to cover up other true intentions.
A few seconds later, Little Bowl hesitantly said, "Brother Zhuang Cheng, although being frank has always been your strength... suddenly using this way to confront , isn’t it a bit too criminal?"
"When it cos to being criminal, wasn’t your earlier statent even more criminal?" I said.
"...Also, your reasoning must be built on so premise, right?" Little Bowl pointed out. "Not to ntion how weird it might seem to outsiders when interacting with Brother Zhuang Cheng at the age of ten, even if it was really necessary to complete the mission by developing a romantic relationship with Brother Zhuang Cheng, it would add a condition that’s different from Zhu Shi’s side.
"It’s not enough for Brother Zhuang Cheng to fall in love with . Since I have romantic feelings, I must also fall in love with Brother Zhuang Cheng. I won’t compromise on this aspect. But Brother Zhuang Cheng’s earlier statent seed to assu that I would fall in love with you, isn’t that a bit overconfident?"
Although what I was about to say would make appear extrely shaless, so much so that saying it felt embarrassing and disgraceful, I still said it: "You said it before, I am the embodint of your dream, soone you can believe in unconditionally. So even if you don’t love now, as long as I work hard in this direction, there’s a significant chance you’ll fall in love with ."
Little Bowl was montarily speechless but did not refute, unsure whether it was due to being at a loss for words or tacit agreent. Then she said, "...So what about Brother Zhuang Cheng himself? Didn’t you say before that you found it difficult to genuinely love anyone other than Sister Mazao? Do you now feel you can fall in love with ?"
"You’ve asked to love Zhu Shi, and now you’re saying this to ?" I retorted. "Moreover... there’s a flaw in your earlier action."
"...What flaw?" Little Bowl asked.
"First, I want to confirm one thing. When you complete your mission and disappear, will Zhu Shi’s romantic feelings return?" I asked.
Little Bowl hesitated for a mont, then said, "Normally, they won’t return.
"Because it’s different from the situation with Lu Chan. The reason that Lu Chan in the past gave up his dream and beca Lu Youxun wasn’t due to careful thought and strong courage, but because of enormous psychological pressure and hatred resulting from the torture by the Human Bureau.
"That was an extre psychological state created by certain conditions. Once returning to a normal environnt, in theory, you can gradually adjust your inner balance. As a matter of fact, when the girl Lu Chan returned his dream, he did not abandon it again. If it was truly a dream abandoned by willpower, it would be abandoned again for the sa reason even upon return.
"But Zhu Shi genuinely abandoned her childhood dream out of her own willpower. Along with that, her romantic feelings were let go. Now, she actually has no deficiencies in her psyche, with another form of wholeness achieved by losing romantic sentints. It’s like when a piece of a puzzle is abandoned, the remaining pieces can still complete the picture, with no gap for the abandoned piece to fit back in."
"But you weren’t deceiving Zhu Shi before, were you?" I said, "That ans there’s still so abnormal scenarios?"
"Yes. That’s why I encourage Brother Zhuang Cheng to fall in love with Zhu Shi," said Little Bowl. "As long as Zhu Shi realizes soone is expressing love towards her, she’ll feel the need to reciprocate love. She will feel the need for romantic feelings. In this way, even if her childhood dream cannot return, at least her romantic feelings might find a chance to co back."
"Isn’t that kind of a landmine?" I pointed out, "The reason Zhu Shi can accept the ’three of us together’ situation, which is unfair to her, is that she originally had no expectations or feelings concerning love. Once she becos able to love , can she still accept Mazao who is so close by?
"Mazao is willing to accept such things, willing to give a love with no possessiveness, but I’m not naive enough to think this is a common type of romantic mindset. I can’t demand Zhu Shi to follow Mazao’s standards, let alone believe that Zhu Shi, after regaining romantic feelings, will naturally beco like Mazao.
"You might say I’m the Great Impermanence, it’s normal for to have multiple wives, but isn’t it also said that Zhu Shi will hold the Power of Great Impermanence in the future?"
Little Bowl corrected: "Even if she fully masters the Yama Sword, Zhu Shi can’t beco the Great Impermanence; she can only use a weapon that stores the Power of Great Impermanence."
Then she paused for a mont and continued, "I understand Brother Zhuang Cheng’s thoughts, and I’m fully aware that it’s a challenge not to be underestimated. So... though it sounds like I’m asking sothing of Brother Zhuang Cheng, I hope Brother Zhuang Cheng will appear more greedy, showing his strength. Make Zhu Shi, recovering romantic feelings, willingly and wholeheartedly stay by your side, along with Sister Mazao.
"It’s not about forcing, but sothing that should happen naturally. It might not sound romantic, but it’s an undeniable righteous path."
After going round in circles, I returned to the final question: "So... why not do it yourself?"
Little Bowl finally couldn’t evade it any longer, and with a sigh, she spoke her true feelings.
"Because... I’m rely a temporary, destined to exit existence," she said. "I am the Dream Avatar created to be loved. Once I receive love, I will imdiately disappear. Isn’t that extrely unfair to the one who loves ?"
The more you desire, the more unattainable it becos—I sohow encountered this contradiction again.
And this ti, this contradiction descended upon Little Bowl.
If you truly love soone, you wouldn’t want to see them in pain because of you. It seems, with Little Bowl’s wisdom, she quickly grasped this contradiction. Hence, she imdiately ruled out the path of completing the mission by being loved.
"...I thought so, it could only be this reason." I said.
Little Bowl said helplessly: "Brother Zhuang Cheng assud this from the beginning, right?"
"Because I wanted to hear the answer from your mouth." I said, "And now, I also want to give you my answer—
"Little Bowl, I will absolutely not let you disappear.
"I’m soone who is extrely tenacious. Since I’ve already considered you an important person, no matter what, I’ll make sure you stay. I will not allow such a thing as you leaving my side without permission."
"...I see." Little Bowl revealed a faint, illusory smile.
Perhaps she didn’t really believe I could do it. For now, I haven’t thought of a thod to stop Little Bowl from leaving once she fulfills her mission, but I will do my utmost.
Little Bowl then asked: "And for Sister Mazao, is it the sa too?"
"Of course." I replied without hesitation.
Little Bowl showed a very happy expression.
"Then I’m relieved." she said.
-
I moved in the direction where Mazao left.
Although I previously speculated about the future under the assumption that Zhu Shi would be with both Mazao and , that assumption was bound to collapse tonight. Soon, Mazao would realize my malevolent nature through my confession and beco my enemy. Doing so would actually interfere with Little Bowl’s mission completion, and I would have to think of ways to make up for it later from other directions.
As I told Little Bowl, even if it turns into an adversarial relationship, I still won’t truly let go of Mazao.
When I found Mazao, she was sitting with her arms around her knees, on the distant rooftop of the courtyard, gazing at the distant dining scenery, smiling.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
Mazao turned around in surprise, then cald her expression and said, "I wanted to see everyone from here. ...And also, I wanted to sort out my own thoughts."
"Thoughts?" I asked.
"Hmm..."
Mazao seed to be brewing her words, and monts later, she asked, "Little Bowl said during the day that the ’Doomsday Era’ is actually the Post-mortem World, and the souls of the soul-loss patients actually traveled there... So, I am indeed one of those soul-loss patients, right?"
"Since your body woke up as a soul-loss patient in a hospital once, then that has to be the answer." I said.
"This body of mine... Or rather, I myself, have parents." Mazao looked at her palm. "Thinking back now, in the Doomsday World, even when supposed to be unable to recollect such materials, I was still able to make Little Bowl. Clearly, my mother must have taught long ago, and I still retain so mories related to that.
"Previously, you and Zhu Shi told that my situation was that my father and mother left in Saltwater City and that they went missing thereafter.
"I want to et my parents." Mazao paused for a mont and repeated herself as she pressed her hand to her heart.
"But I’m very scared, too." she continued. "I don’t even know how to explain why I am afraid, so, Zhuang Cheng, can you... can you co with ?"
Mae’s eyes trembled with a pleading look as they t mine.
"Of course." I said without hesitation.
While her upbringing involves pain, she felt no fear of the past... I think she was just afraid of rejection. To be the daughter who was abandoned. She is reluctant to et them for fear of what she would discover.
"Don’t worry." I said, extending a hand to her.
After a brief mont of hesitation, she reached out and took my hand, standing up with my help.
"Thank you, Zhuang Cheng." she said softly.
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