- HAZEL -
My neck hurts terribly. I don’t know what Killian put there but the pain is unbearable. "Okay Kate, I appreciate the care but you can let go of now." I forced a giggle.
I’m trying to hide my tears from rolling down my cheeks. Seeing them together.... seeing her lean over to kiss him... watching him pull her closer and whisper in her ears just made realise how hard it is to be around them.
How much it hurts.
Killian loves Kate and I can’t do anything about it. I shouldn’t. I really should put our first night behind us. It’s the best thing to do obviously.
Asking him to sleep with ? How selfish was that? She’s literally my best friend. I sniffed. Kate didn’t let go of my wrist so I forced my arm out of her grip and wiped my eyes gently with my fingers.
"Hazel are you okay?" She asks, moving towards . I really want to push her away but at the sa ti, I can’t. It’s not her fault that she slls like him or she’s engaged to him. And it’s definitely not her fault that I developed a crush for soone I shouldn’t.
I swallowed. "Yeah, I just-" My head blanked as I try to think of an excuse. I just what? Saying sothing caught in my eye is the worst, most used excuse ever.
I cleared my throat. "I bumped my head and shoulder on sothing last night, it hurts really bad. That’s why I told you to let go of my arm." My voice is breaking.
Even lying to her makes sick but all I can think about are my recent actions. Why does the realisation of sothing I already know hurt so damn bad?
"Oh, honey," Kate’s voice is soft and calming. It makes want to cry even more because she cares about . "Can I hug you? Will that hurt?"
I shook my head slowly. "No!" I breath. "All I need right now is a hug." I spread my arms wide. "Please hug Kate. I was so lost." I sniffed. Kate didn’t question any further and pulled for a hug. She was careful not to hit my shoulders while running her palm up and down my back gently, giving a pat. I clenched my fists in her clothes, letting my nails sink deep into her skin. I know I’m not hurting her but I’d really love to mutate my skin in hers right now.
"Is that all that’s bothering you? Talk to Hazel, what’s wrong? Why’d you go out without telling ?" Kate asks carefully. She’s being gentle and for soone who just woke up, I might be tempted to sleep in her arms while standing.
I chuckled. "Well you were out with your fiancé."
"Oh, that, right. But a text would’ve been nice." She interrupted.
I sobbed. "It’s just this dumb thing my roommates suggested that I agreed to." I wish I never went ahead with it but I’m glad I did. It set my priority straight.
Kate pulled back. "Okay, honey, look at ." Kate held my chin softly and tilted my face up to stare at her. "I know heart break is hard, but Tristan is just one boy and you’ll always find many. Don’t go around doing what other people want you to to please them. Rember, it’s all about you and no one else okay? Your happiness first."
This made smile. "Yeah. Sure." Soft thumbs wiped both cheeks. I had no idea my tears rolled down. "Does that an Killian told you what happened?"
Kate giggled. "Well so of it. For one, he t you drunk in a bar."
"And you’re not mad?" I ask nervously. I don’t know how much he said.
Kate pulled my hand out and trapped my arm in hers. "I’ve done worse. I’m sure I’ve even been drunk in church." She laughed.
That’s not funny but it has be cackling. I love her attempt to make feel better.
"Besides, we’ve all been wild once or twice in our lives. For so people it’s five tis." Kate added, still standing there, looking at . I stared at her when I got the joke.
"Ivy."
"Yup. Did you hear the story?" Kate’s laughter got louder.
"I did. Theresa and Patty filled in. That was quite satisfying to be honest." I said. Now we’re walking in the corridor, I don’t know which direction leads outside but I’m sure she does. She probably must’ve been here so many tis.
What am I even thinking? She’s the lady of this house. The only thing I have as mine in this house is my outfit from last night and my phone and purse. I need to get them.
I wonder why Killian lied about that though. Not like anything would’ve happened if he told the truth.
I appreciate his effort for trying to keep the peace.
"Very. Soon, she’ll grow her own cock." Kate swallowed. She’s laughing so hard that it sounds like she’s about to choke.
"I wonder if she knows there’s sothing like sex toys. I an, they are there for a reason."
Kate halted and I did too. "Nuh-uh. If it’s not soone else’s dick, she won’t be satisfied."
That’s true. I don’t want to talk much about Ivy especially when I was about to go down the sa road. I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad it took one morning to help realise how good they are together.
I took a deep breath in. Maybe it’s ti I give Ivy a little bit less hate. Maybe she had her reasons. Maybe she didn’t but I don’t care. We pass by the door leading to the room I slept in when it hit .
"Give a second, I need to get so of my things." I said to Kate and bolted into the room. Now I’m searching for my outfit because I can’t rember where it was kept. Was I really that drunk?
I ran to the wardrobe and searched in. It’s empty. Trying to keep my cool despite the buzzing ache at the back of my neck, I checked every single drawer and everything where things can be stored in this room but my things are not here. I huffed, frustrated. Kate is still outside the door. "I’ll be there in a minute." I yelled, keeping her in check.
"Okay. Just don’t destroy anything while you’re at it."
I smiled. "I’ll think about it."
I heard a faint laugher. Now that conversation is over, where are my things? My fingers rest on my hips as I stare around, agitated.
I could’ve sworn that I brought it here last night when I left the living room. I’m sure I even wore it inside this room, Killian didn’t give clothes imdiately when I arrived.
Or did he? I’m not sure, everything is so vague.
Even if he did, I didn’t take my clothes off in front of him and put on his. They’re ant to be here, sowhere. Ugh!
I checked every drawer and wardrobe I did earlier and bent lower to check under the bed and every furniture. There’s no trace of anything ever being here. Where could a purse, shoes, jewelry and dress be?
My teeth began to chew on my lips as I tried to recall everything from last night. I examined the room once more and my eyes t a door.
My face flattened. I wore them into the shower. Fuck! How could I have forgotten?
Let’s hope I didn’t take them out of there after showering because those are one of my favourite things and I’ll hate to lose them.
I rushed into the bathroom and saw my dress hanging on a hanger on one of the hooks of the bathroom towel shelf. That made sigh with relief. My purse is hung in front of my dress and my shoes are arranged neatly on the floor below my dress.
I walked to it and took it off the hanger then checked inside my purse. My jewelry is inside. That’s great, now all I have to do is grab my phone and get out of here.
I squat to pick up my shoes and stood up. That’s when I looked into a mirror. A sad smile ford on my face.
I’m wearing his shirt.
I turned to the side to give a rare view of how my ass shot out in this baggy shirt. The shirt slls like him. I’d love to keep it but it’ll only make want to see more of him. I can’t risk that.
I sighed and dropped my things on the floor. I took off Killian’s shirt. Now I’m naked and looking at myself. Where’s my thong? I don’t think I saw it in my purse.
Did I even put on a thong last night? I can’t rember.
I reached up to the hanger and hung Killian’s shirt there.
I guess this is goodbye to all my fantasies about him.
I crouched lower to pick up my gown an slipped it on. I zipped. That made gasp. I really did look slutty yesterday. That’s good.
I stared at the shirt hung on the wall once more then at my things on the floor then back to my reflection in the mirror.
I am Hazel. Everyone wants . My throat tightened.
Goodbye Killian. For real this ti.
I picked up my things and walked out.
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