- HAZEL -
I’m standing out the balcony upstairs, staring into the night sky. It’s cold out here and although my skin is plagued with goosebumps, I didn’t budge nor go back inside. I’m just out here, letting the cold dissolve into my skin while deep in thought.
The stars are beautiful tonight. It’s so calming watching the clouds hoover over the moon. It’s so calming inhaling fresh midnight air. I shouldn’t be outside this late. . . Or rather, this early considering it’s midnight, but for a weird reason, I feel safe enough to step outside in the comfort of his balcony.
“Does sothing bother you?” Killian’s deep voice resounds in my ears. I don’t turn back to look at him. With my hands hung over the railings, I let out a sigh and a smile forms on my lips at the sa ti. His approaching footsteps ring loudly in my ears despite them being so gentle on the ground. The night is just so quiet that it allows hear things I normally wouldn’t.
Like crickets chirping. The wind whooshing. The sound of cloth fabric being disturbed by the breeze. The subtle sounds of my own breathing. I love the quietness, it helps to just be.
Sothing falls on my shoulders, concealing my form and giving my body a sense of warmth. It’s a fur jacket. Killian put it on the mont he stood behind . Now he’s standing by my side. I don’t have to look at him to know his eyes are on . My fingers clutch around the jacket, folding it across my arms completely. “Thank you.” I murmur. Killian doesn’t say a word but I know he welcod the gratitude.
I let out a sigh then proceed to answer the question he asked when he made his presence known to .
“It’s just so hard lying to her.” I say calmly. under my breath. “Especially when she’s just around the corner.” My head darts to the side, beholding his gaze. Kate is my best friend. It took a day with just the two of us for to be plagued by how wrong this was. By everything I have done. She deserves better. I’m head over heels for her fiancé and even though they’re in an open relationship, as her best friend, I should not keep this secret.
For one, I wouldn’t imagine my bestie dating my man if I was in her shoes. I’d imagine him to be with anyone else but her. I swallow, steadily turning my head back ahead to gaze at the sky.
I don’t feel sorry for all I’ve done and it worries . Part of thinks that I should feel sorry, but even if I did, I can’t change the past and I wouldn’t want to. Not when I’ve had a taste of his love.
“There’s always the option of telling her.” Killian breath. He’s been so ardent on this subject that it makes wonder. How can he be so chill regarding this? It’s his betrothed we’re talking about here. Even if I was to be engaged and had this kind of relationship, the awareness of there being another woman would literally eat up. Talk less of the match being soone I know. Being a face I grew up getting accustod to. Yet he doesn’t seem to care. “But you don’t want that.” He adds.
A sigh push its way out my lips. “Well, there’s that.” I chuckle softly, running my hand in my hair. “But no. Not yet. I’m not ready.”
You can even say that part of is scared. I’m scared of losing my best friend but I can’t keep this secret forever. Sooner or later, it will be out in the open and I’d rather it not be before I choose to speak up or else it’ll only worsen and escalate the matter.
“Whatever you want, kitten.” Killian utters. “I can’t force you to do anything against your will.”
This makes laugh, a short cackle.
“What?” Killian asks.
I tilt my head to face him. “Considering you had my face between clenched fingers and taught how to react to a ‘kind gesture’, it just sounds so ironic.”
“What can I say? Certain people tend to respond to discipline way faster than kindness.”
This makes squint and stick my lower lip out more as I pout. I’ll choose to ignore that. Mainly because the hour is a good one.
I sigh, returning my face to the sky. There are no clouds blocking the moon anymore. I love that I can gaze at its beauty without interference. Yesterday, considering its past midnight aning a new day has begun, was one of the most hectic day for . Rush hour had never felt so real till I found myself thriving to tarnish every footprint of sex and romance from my appearance and that room in just a few minutes. I’ve never done anything that fast before.
Her arrival got my heart thumping hard against my rib cage. It got to nearly lose my shit yet force myself to stay locked in.
All it would’ve taken for her to catch us was waltzing into that door without shouting his na and just that thought scares way more than it should. It shouldn’t be like this. I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t like having to hide my relationship and live this double life when she’s around. It was much easier to carry on not worrying about this when I didn’t have to see her.
When she was thousands of miles away. I sigh. “Want to go inside?” I ask, my tone soft. Thinking about this for so long has done no good at all. I find myself being faced with problems without solutions.
“I don’t know, do you?” Killian responds. “I’m only out here because of you. Stay as much as you need and I’ll be here too.”
That’s so sweet of him, but truly, my legs are killing . I did not get to rest them after all our, should I say; shenanigans? All our sexual shenanigans. I had to force myself to move despite the pain. It seed like nature was making experience my own karma.
“I do. Let’s go.” I take my hands off the railings. Not having my body be supported by sothing other than my legs takes all the weight back to my legs. “Please carry . I can barely walk.” I plea.
Killian did not hesitate to lift up. Unlike the usual bridal style I’m used to, this ti was different. My chest presses against his and his hands support my ass to his body with my legs hanging at each side of his hips. I let my head rest on his chest, enjoying the feel of his body vibrations and heart beat on our way out.
“You make it so easy to fall asleep. It’s so peaceful with you.”
Soft lips rest on my the top of my head giving butterflies. My cheeks flush imdiately.
“Why, thank you.” Killian says. “Now have so rest.” He whispers above . I hear the sound of a door opening. We must be in room. Finally I’ll rest on sothing soft.
I yawn. “I promise not to keep you waiting for too long. I’ll tell her soon.” I whisper, sleep dawning hard on .
My body is being laid gently on a bed and duvet covers just slid up to cover . Killian is tucking in.
“Okay. Now shh. It’s bed ti.” He whispers back.
Bedti? “I’m not a baby.” I yawn. His hands pat my silky hair.
“You’re my baby. Now hush.” His tone is calm. Hearing him say that made my heart flutter and a smile made its way to my lips. I’m so easy to swoon and it’s embarrassing. I feel my eyes dart open and close as sleep hits hard. I guess later today, after a nice rest, I’ll be able to think clearly.
I shut my eyes.
Here’s to hoping that all ends well for the two of us. However it be. Sleep takes like a wave.
. . .
However it be.
Reviews
All reviews (0)