The sensation of lips sucking on tender flesh felt cold. Was it because his Perception stat had increased? The slow movent caressing his skin felt too vividly clear.
Feeling like this would soon lead to another kiss, he tried to twist away, but the arm around his waist tightened. The eyes he t were colder than the winter sea.
“…I’m not thinking of dying.”
At Ryu Seo-ha’s words, which flowed out like an excuse, Choi Gang-hu narrowed his eyes. For so reason, it was a reaction that seed difficult to believe easily.
“The life my parents gave
and raised
with love, I have no intention of giving up carelessly.”
Unlike his past life, when he had lived with the desire to enter a long sleep and rest comfortably, it was different now. Soone who has mories of receiving unconditional love can never easily throw away their own life. It was the reason he had struggled until the end even in a life without hope.
“Then you can’t leave my side. Whether your feelings cool or not.”
Choi Gang-hu, who had been staring at him silently for a while, twisted his lips and whispered softly. No, that’s not…
“…I wasn’t talking about my feelings, but in case Choi Gang-hu’s feelings cool off.”
The man who was embracing his shoulders with a slow touch like a snake raised one eyebrow.
“Why would my feelings cool off?”
His face, tilted sideways as if he had heard sothing absurdly outlandish, even showed a look of bewildernt.
“Because nothing in the world is eternal.”
As he continued calmly, Choi Gang-hu frowned. Ryu Seo-ha didn’t want to say words that seed to predict an end either. He also thought it wasn’t polite to the person he was sharing feelings with, and right now he was intoxicated with the feeling that this love would last forever.
But he had to address it. They were both new to love, and even in the early stages of dating, so they might not consider things carefully. He didn’t want Choi Gang-hu to regret his past actions driven by montary emotions later, or to feel like he had lost out.
“Isn’t there enough possibility that it could cool off as quickly as it heated up?”
The more intense the concentration of happiness, the less one should trust in its permanence. If you don’t want to bear all the pain of your world crumbling when the illusion you believed unquestioningly shatters to pieces. It was a truth he had realized while losing his family in this life.
He had been preparing his heart to let go of his first lover, combining past and present lives, from the mont they agreed to date. Having mories of being loved abundantly, he wouldn’t be just sad after parting.
“We’ve only known each other for just over a month.”
It wasn’t easy for Ryu Seo-ha to face reality and coldly gauge the future either. But he keenly felt that there were aspects he couldn’t turn a blind eye to precisely because he loved him.
“They say the period when hormones that make you feel love are secreted is 3 months, at most 3 years… I don’t want to be rembered as an object of regret to Choi Gang-hu.”
Though he couldn’t say for certain without experiencing it himself, it’s often said that fiery love can’t last long. People who maintain relationships for decades are said to live on friendship and loyalty instead of heart-fluttering excitent.
If the realistically achievable ideal future for the two of them was a relationship enjoying comfort and stability instead of burning emotions, this situation based on one-sided sacrifice was even more dangerous.
So to stay together for a long ti, they needed to find a thod in advance. A way to resolve the pain and lifespan issues, even if not their existence itself. That’s how they could maintain a healthy relationship.
“What if it’s already been over 3 months?”
“…Pardon?”
“If it’s already been over 3 years, 30 years, would that be okay?”
“What do you an…”
“If I say I’ve liked Ryu Seo-ha for about 300 years, can you comfortably accept my lifespan?”
Ah, it was a hypothetical question asking if he would comply if that were the case. Ryu Seo-ha, who was about to ask back in surprise, quickly regained his composure and slowly shook his head.
“No.”
At the very firm denial, Choi Gang-hu furrowed his brow.
“Even if you’re certain it’s not feelings that will cool off soon, it’s still not okay?”
“Yes. No matter how amazing Choi Gang-hu is, your lifespan isn’t infinite.”
“What if I make it infinite?”
“……”
There seed to be no end to it. The thod to persuade this love-blinded man seed far-fetched. Amidst all this, he had the amusing expectation that Choi Gang-hu might really be able to realize those absurd words.
“I’ll find a way. I have suitable research materials too.”
“Research materials?”
“They say beings living in higher dinsions have no limit to their lifespan. But they’re probably not immortal beings.”
He was right. Higher beings don’t age or die naturally. But that doesn’t an there’s no way to kill them. It was the reason why war between the Black Wing and White Wing forces could exist.
“Did you look inside the apostles’ heads?”
“Ah, it was quite a tricky task.”
“Then you must know well that Choi Gang-hu still can’t defeat higher beings.”
“That’s sothing we won’t know unless we clash.”
Ryu Seo-ha felt impatient at his attitude of casually answering while curling up the corners of his well-shaped lips. Those blinded by emotion sotis beco unimaginably reckless.
There was no law saying Choi Gang-hu couldn’t be like that too. He had an impulsive personality that was honest about his desires, and a tendency to charge forward as if living only for today. It felt overwhelming.
“…Why do you like ?”
He was afraid that he, who had fallen helplessly into the unfamiliar emotion of love due to temporary hormonal action that could be cut off at any ti, would make a choice that could ruin his life too lightly.
Wondering if he could prevent that choice by removing the cause of his attraction to him, he carefully voiced the question he had always harbored in his heart. Even while knowing that he wouldn’t dare attempt it even if he found out.
“Well… I think at first I saw you as a kind of refuge.”
Refuge? Ryu Seo-ha tilted his head at the unexpected word. He still rembered clearly. Those black eyes that had coldly shone as if observing an experintal subject at their first eting. No matter how he recalled it, that was the gaze of soone following to assess usefulness.
“At so point, I started looking forward to you coming to et .”
The following words were incomprehensible too. From the beginning, it was always Choi Gang-hu who ca seeking etings. Soone who should be too busy to even blink hardly wanted to part once they t.
“I think I was tad very slowly. Like dye spreading in water, seeping in without any boundary between dream and reality at so point.”
Saying he seeped in slowly – it seed hard to find words that distorted Choi Gang-hu’s change in attitude more than this. The nuance of clothes getting wet from drizzling rain was bewildering.
While it might make sense from Ryu Seo-ha’s perspective, being helplessly drawn in by the downpouring favor, it wasn’t sothing to be said by soone who had pushed him against a wall and trapped him in his arms, gently coaxing him from their second eting.
“…I don’t understand what you’re saying at all.”
When he honestly expressed that he didn’t understand, Choi Gang-hu smiled deeply, his eyes curving into half-moons, and cupped his cheek with his large hand.
“I felt like I had beco the fox from The Little Prince.”
The confession that flowed out as he gently nibbled his tender earlobe with his lips was not imdiately understood either. It’s not that he didn’t know the story of the fox who wanted to be tad, but the context was completely different from their situation.
“Even the sensory training I focused on to strictly control my sleep pattern stemd from waiting for 4 PM.”
Ryu Seo-ha, who had been blankly staring at Choi Gang-hu spouting incomprehensible words, suddenly recalled the content from the original work. Choi Gang-hu, who could stay up for a month without a problem, diligently slept for a certain amount of ti every day.
He said it was a habit from the Abyss, but how much effort must it have taken to sharpen all his senses while sleeping and be able to unconsciously respond to external approaches…
“Mmph.”
His train of thought was forcibly cut off by Choi Gang-hu’s action of sticking out his tongue and licking along his jawline. Startled, he trembled and tried to push him away with both hands, but he didn’t budge an inch, like a huge boulder stuck on a mountain peak.
“Now there’s no need to wait.”
Ryu Seo-ha’s body, gently pushed back, was laid down on the white sand. Seeing him startled and covering his lips first, Choi Gang-hu smiled and lifted his calf, making him wrap it around his waist.
The firm, muscular sensation touching beyond his collar made him feel dizzy. He had only asked about the reason for his attraction, how did it co to this? Even [Sanctification] wasn’t working properly… He was at a loss.
“Surely not here…”
“I have no intention of forcing you.”
Noticing his anxious upward gaze, a voice like soothing a frightened child caressed his ear. It was the sa during their first encounter at the Jeju hotel. Ryu Seo-ha’s consent was a prerequisite for everything.
Although he had pounced like a madman with his eyes completely rolled back, he didn’t forcibly take him by pinning him down with strength, even if he gently coaxed and persuaded to continue. The experience of being constantly respected that day gave him a sense of relief.
“…Then please move away.”
He carefully moved the hand covering his lips and tried to push Choi Gang-hu’s shoulder. However, the arm planted on the rough sand next to Ryu Seo-ha’s face was firm and didn’t move an inch. The hasty sense of relief quickly turned to anxiety. His lips were tightly pressed together.
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