Chapter 52: 52. Apologizing
It’s okay, Champagne, you can do this. Yes, I just want to make him understand that I didn’t say those things specifically because I cared about Rowan. I said them because I didn’t want him to worry about ."
I’ve been saying this to myself for over ten minutes now, pacing back and forth between my bed and door. I just can’t seem to take a step out of the door!
"Stop overthinking this, champagne!" I silently scream to myself. "Just go and tell him what you need to!" How is it so hard, when it’s actually so simple!
This is our first ti fighting so I don’t really know how to approach the situation. But I know honesty is always best, and it’s always better to not drag out such fights. The longer we take to sort things out, the more we will hurt each other.
"Stop being a coward Champagne," I say to myself, as I walk to the door for the umpteenth ti. "Let’s do this." Do not waver any further! Be firm! Walk out that door, go to his room, check if he’s awake. And even if he’s asleep, I’ll wake him up so we can talk this out!
I take in deep breaths as I reach the door, I place my hand on the knob, "God help ." I say as I turn it open and step out.
Yes! Good job Champagne, you just took the first step by coming out of the room.
I close the door as quietly as possible.
"Now onto the next step. Let’s go to—Ahhhh!" I instantly scream as I notice a figure in the darkness, standing outside Duke’s door. The figure leaps forward and wraps his hand around my mouth.
Why do I keep getting into these horror movie situations?!
I want to raise my voice again, but the hand on my mouth won’t let . But wait, is that eucalyptus I sll?
In a flash, the figure bundles and drags
into Duke’s room. He closes the door and rests my back on it.
"Pagne, hush. It’s ." Ah, my nose was right... It’s my eucalyptus scenting husband. A bedside light in his room is still on and I can see his face a little now.
But what the heck was he doing standing like a ghost in front of his room door?!
"Mmm—"I tap his hand that’s still over my mouth and he removes it. I first take in deep breaths, before going, "What the heck were you doing there?!"
"Shush, you’re being too loud. You’ll wake everyone." He says.
"Why were you standing there like a possessed mannequin?!" I bring my voice to a low whisper.
"How are you?" Seriously? Is he asking
that right now?
"What do you think? You almost gave
a heart attack. I thought soone broke into the house."
"I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about earlier... In the car."
Oh... I almost forgot. That’s why I ca out in the first place. It’s funny how I’m suddenly noticing how close we are. I’m also feeling trapped between the door and Duke. A shirtless Duke.
Remove baseless thoughts from your head Champagne, just say what you ca here for.
"A_actually I... about earlier," my lashes fall over my eyes as I bite down on my bottom lips, thinking of how to move forward with this conversation.
"I’m sorry." The soft trail of his voice flows into the air, reaching my ear, and my lashes lift as my head also lifts up and I et his gaze. I can’t see him clearly because of the lack of light, coupled with my eye problems, but I know he’s eyes are on .
"I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you." I_ Is he seriously apologizing first? "You told
you had cancer and instead of comforting you, I lost my temper for no just reason. I was just—" He pauses, as if he’s trying to gather his words before speaking again. "I was just shocked to hear that. I should have looked into your entire dical records, I don’t know why I didn’t. I was just angry at myself for not knowing that you had been through sothing like that in the past."
I know he hates it when I talk about Rowan, and I know it’s not right to compare the two of them, but I can’t help doing so.
Rowan never apologized to
first. I was the one who always apologized, even when he was wrong. And God bears
witness, he was mostly wrong.
However, when you look back at the entire events earlier this evening and how it unfolded, Duke isn’t entirely to bla for his reaction. It was wrong of
to keep ntioning my ex-husband’s na again and again in the presence of my new husband.
If you look at it from his perspective, his anger was justified and so was him raising his voice, yet he apologizes first.
"W_was that why you were standing outside your door like an evil spirit in a horror movie?" I joke, but he’s not laughing. He really is remorseful.
I feel his hand touch my face, his fingers stroking my jawline, "I couldn’t sleep." He confesses. "I was going to apologize to you in your room."
This man, " too." Is too good for . "I also could not sleep." I confess.
"Duke, I wasn’t talking about Rowan because I still love him. I swear, believe . I—" my lashes sweep over my eyes again as I sigh, I lift them and once again I’m staring at him, I bring my hands together at my waist, holding and pressing my fingers against each other "I only said those things because I really didn’t want you worrying about . I don’t think I’m in love with Rowan anymore."
"Do you believe ?"
"If you will answer my question truthfully, then yes, I will believe you." What could his question be? I don’t know what it is, but I nod.
"You asked
if you could fall for , and I told you it’s want I want, have you fallen for ? Or better still, do you think you are falling for ?"
"I—" I can’t just answer this question foolishly. If I do, we might end up fighting again. I don’t want to fight with Duke. Fighting with him left so kind of feeling in . I hate that feeling. That bad taste, I hate it. "I think I’m falling for you." I say but then I shake my head.
"No," I stop squeezing my hands together and hold onto his arm instead, "I think I’ve already fallen for you."
"Pagne," He brings himself a little lower to my level and presses his head on my own, "Can I kiss you?" Does he still ask permission for that? He stopped asking for my permission a long ti ago.
"Kiss ." I breathe the words out and instantly, his warm lips cover my own and his hand on my face moves to the back of my neck and holds
firmly there. His other hand wraps around my waist and presses
closer to his body.
I hold onto his arms as he deepens the kiss, and dear lord if I give myself to this man completely, it won’t be a sin right? If I give myself entirely to him, it won’t be wrong would it?
He is my husband after all.
I want to give him my all. I want to give him everything. I want his kisses to linger not just on my lips but on every part of my body. God this isn’t wrong, right? This is okay, right?
Ah, I feel feverish. My entire body seems to be shaking as his tongue ravages the insides of my mouth. His body is pressing mine against the door and his hand in my waist has gradually slipped underneath the hem of my shirt.
I can feel his fingers in my flesh. It’s hot. So hot, and yet I want more. He’s drawing lines on my waist, tracing the circle around my navel with his thumb, sending strange signals to my core, making
vibrate like a fool.
"Hah!" I drag in air as he breaks the kiss. He nibbles on my lips as though he doesn’t wish to let go. I don’t either.
"We should stop here." He breathes raspily as Hee places a kiss on my cheek and then on my forehead. I want to ask him why! But I can’t bring myself to say a thing.
"Goodnight dearest." He says and I hear the door open behind . Is he kicking
out?! "I’ll see you in the morning." He says, literally pushes
out the door and slams it close.
What just happened?
Did he really just kick
out?!
Why?! It was just getting good!
Dear God, I am sincerely speechless. I can’t believe it, really.
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