Chapter 151: 151. Side Story 15: Alan’s rejection.
151. Side Story 15: Alan’s rejection.
It turns out Alan was into a lot of things that Janey approved of. One of them was him liking sweet things and the other was that he confessed to her that he actually enjoyed watching animated movies.
And just like that the once scared and skeptical Janey ended up on Alan’s couch, her shoes laying on the floor, her feet tucked underneath her, and upon her lap, on a couch pillow was a small tray that contained a bowl of chocolate ice-cream and a piece of apple pie Alan said champagne had given to him. And they sat down together watching the animated movie Bossman Baby.
As the movie ca to an end with the bossman baby living a happy life with his brother and parents, Janey realized that it was already past five in the evening and she had not even talked to Alan about what she wanted to talk about.
After that first night he had called her and she had confessed her feelings to him, not once had they discussed it. In fact it was almost as if that never happened. Like he didn’t rember her confessing to him that she liked him. Janey at first didn’t know how to feel about that. He didn’t talk about it but he also didn’t stop treating her the way he used to.
She didn’t know if she was supposed to be grateful that his treatnt towards her was the sa, that he didn’t distance himself from her after her sudden confession. Or if she was to be sad that he didn’t take her confession seriously enough to think about it.
So she wanted to ask now. What were they? They could not be friends. Of course not. She liked him, he seed to like her too, so why wasn’t he giving her a response to her confession.
"Well, that’s the end of the movie, you wanna watch the sequel?" He asks cheerfully as he takes the tray from her.
"Oh, oh, may_maybe next ti, I think I should be heading ho now it’s already past five." She says and he looked up at his wall clock and she could see the shock in his eyes.
"Right. I didn’t realize." He chuckles. "Ti slips away when you’re having fun I guess." He shrugs. "Just gim a minute and I’ll drop you off at ho." He says.
"Oh, no do not worry, I can just take the bus or a taxi—"
"Janey what’s the point of having a car if I rarely use it. And besides, you’d have been ho safe and sound ages ago if I didn’t kidnap you and bring you here," She chuckled as he said those words. "So allow
to drop you off. I’m afraid your father will call those cops he knows if his baby girl isn’t returned back ho safely."
"Oh he really would." She said with a laugh. "Alright then."
...
Silently, he drove, and Janey was thinking of a million ways to start the conversation. What was she supposed to say first? Then she began to worry if maybe she was being impatient. She wondered if he would be angry if she asked him about it.
But she also knew she wouldn’t be happy with herself if they ended today without her saying what she wanted to.
’Yes, let’s just say it. What’s the worst thing that can happen?’ She said in her head and gulped down saliva as she turned her head towards him.
"S_so," She began. Her fingers on her thighs were starting to fumble with her dress."I’ll be going off to college on the 12th of this month, w_which is next Monday." She breathed out as she successfully said that part.
"Oh, I see." Alan replied with his eyes still on the road. Janey wasn’t certain but sowhere in her, she was expecting a different kind of response. What kind? That was what she wasn’t certain about but his plain response was not to her satisfaction.
’Don’t dwell on that Janey. Just say what you need to. He’s focused on driving now, so he can’t pay much attention to your words.’ again she was talking to herself in her head. Encouraging herself so as not to back down.
"Yeah." She nodded.
"So uh, well uhm, I wanted to uh," How was she supposed to put the question she was about to ask? How was she to ask him? "The thing I want to ask is uhm..."
’Oh Jesus help , I can’t think of any special way to ask this!’
So, "Do you like ?!" She blurted out the question with her eyes tightly closed. Still in that position, she waited for a response and when she didn’t hear anything, she slowly opened her eyes and found that blue eyes were staring back at her and he instantly turned his gaze back to the road when she opened her eyes.
What was that expression? She couldn’t read it. It almost looked apologetic. Or was she wrong?
’Stop overthinking Janey. You’ve got this.’ She said to herself again.
"I_ I an, I confessed my feelings to you and you_you never said anything about it. I_is it probably because you don’t like ?" She boldly asked and the way his head instantly turned towards her made her realize before he even said it that that was not the case.
"That’s not it." He simply said and turned his attention back to the road.
She bead and said, "Then you like ."
"Janey,"
"That’s why you treat
nicely, right?" She couldn’t have been mistaken. Not just her but every other person thought the sa way too. Her friends also believed he had so feelings for her. So everyone couldn’t be wrong about the sa thing, right?
"Be_because you like , right? That’s why you talk to
every night before I go to bed. That’s why you took
to your place today and gave
the ice cream you made, right? Because you like
right? I’m not mistaken, right? Y_you wouldn’t do all that if you didn’t like , would you?"
"Janey—"
"Won’t you ask
out?" Those words ca out so desperately, like she was pining for his affection and it touched sothing inside him. It made him want to pull her close and soothe all her fears. But, ’not yet.’ he kept telling himself.
"Is it because you think I’m too young? I’m not a baby you know. I’m twenty now and I_ I can h_have a boyfriend. My daddy was around your age when he t my momma and she was around my age so it’s perfectly fine."
"That’s not it."
"Then what is it? What is stopping you from asking
out?" She was getting really frustrated at this point.
"You’re going to college Janey," he finally said.
Now she was quiet. How did her going to college stop him from asking her out? "When you get there, you might et soone, soone younger than
and you might end up developing feelings for that person and like them more than you currently like , I don’t want you to feel burdened by a relationship with
if you end up finding soone your age in college and—"
"So you’re saying you doubt that I really like you?" She could not for the life of her properly understand what he was telling her. Why would he think she would have him in her heart and then go ahead to fall in love with soone else just because they were apart? Did he think so little of her affection for him? Did he not believe her words when she confessed to him that she liked him?
"No Janey, I know you do like
now. But you might also et soone in college who is closer to your age than I am and it is only natural for you to feel a stronger attachnt to that person that’s why I think it’s best for you to go to college first and if your fondness for
still persists then we can—"
A chord in her head sparked, "Fondness? Is that what you think I feel for you?" She had no idea when a scoff escaped her throat and echoed in the corners of the car. "You think I’m just fond of you?" She knew fondness ant liking sothing, or having a certain affection towards sothing, but in this case, she felt that it sounded more like a silly thing to him.
In her head the fondness he talked about sounded like he ant her feelings were childish and silly. Like a five year old always wanting to be in the company of her class teacher.
His words were nothing like she expected. His words were hurting her badly. She had not entirely prepared for a rejection, but sowhere in the corner of her mind, she knew that he might not like her the way she liked him, so she was a little ready to have him reject her.
But this was not even a rejection! Now he wasn’t telling her he didn’t like her. Far from it! He was telling her that her own feelings might be unstable?! That her own feelings might fade because she might fall for soone else?
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