Chapter 252: A different person
Gyles.
The drive is long but just knowing that I will get to see him soon makes it all worth it. we have been in this car for hours and I can tell that Rex is tired. I don’t want to wear him out and I don’t even know how to drive.
My eyes shift to him and he manages a faint smile, the kind that tells
that he is just doing this for . I know he doesn’t want to be in this car right now. He and Blue are cool. I know he misses him but he doesn’t want to do anything that will make Blue upset. I know this is another selfish move, I know I am just thinking about myself and how to make things right between all of us but for once in my life, I want to do right, the only way I can do right by the two of them is if I get us all together. I need to make sure our mating is successful. I need to be the person that they want, not soone that just thinks about myself.
You are thinking about yourself right now.
My wolf reminds . One minute, he is on my side, the next minute, he is against . I can’t please him. I don’t know what to do to prove to them all. I have been selfish all along but that is not what I am about right now.
"We should take a break,’’ I suggest. Rex glances at
for a second and then shakes his head slowly.
"I think I should keep driving.’’
I sigh because this is not the ti to be stubborn. He is tired and I don’t think it is a good idea for us to keep going. I see a motel as he drives by slowly "Co on, we just passed a motel. Let’s call it a night and start our journey tomorrow."
"If we keep driving. We will get there before the morning.’’ He interjects.
I frown "There is no good showing up late at night. Let’s just take a couple of hours to recuperate and then we can continue the journey.’’
He sighs but I can already sense him giving in. "alright, we will get the next one,’’ he ets
in the middle. I haven’t talked to Rex about how he feels about all this. I want a bond with him and things were going very well in the beginning but along the lines and all the emotions. I lost sense of what was important. I had a fear, one that I dint want to talk about but now, I am ready to talk to both of them, I am ready to compromise. I am ready to be good for the two of them. At first, I didn’t understand the relationship—till now, I still don’t understand why we have to be three but I see and feel things that make
okay with it. I don’t mind that we all have to share each other.
I want to give them my all and be a better person for them.
We get to the next motel that we see, which took us about another thirty minutes and according to Rex, a lot closer to Blue. My heart has been beating heavily all day. I am excited to see him even though I know he might not be excited to see .
"Co on,’’ Rex parks the car and the parking lot and walks out of the car. I grab the bag I brought with
and he raises a brow in question "Do you need to bring this with you. we are just in the room for the night,’’ he reminds .
I nod "Yeah, I know, I just want to have a shower,’’ I tell him because the weather has been extra hot today and all the nerves from this trip have made
a sweaty ss. He pays for the room and I watch him helplessly. I have been feeling so helpless lately. Like there is nothing I can do right. I couldn’t love Blue and Rex right. I basically ruined Cassius’s life. If I never t him, he wouldn’t have done all the things he did in his life. Lately, I have been thinking about him a lot. There is a lot of hidden anger within . I loved him so much—on my own choosing. He was the most important person to
and I hate how his life turned out. I wish there was sothing I could have done to make things right. I wish things didn’t go the way they did. All these things that happen are connected and it is all my fault.
We walk into the room together and the first thing I notice are the twin beds "I am not sleeping alone,’’ I tell him blatantly.
He turns to
with a smile on his face. The dimples on his cheek deepen "Oh really?’’ he asks playfully. I drop the bag on one of the beds and walk over to him with a smile on my own. I grab his hands in mine.
"I want to hold onto you all night,’’ I confess because being alone is not appealing to
anymore. I have thought about how my life will be with the two of them and I want it all. I want the happiness that will co with not feeling lonely anymore. I want it all and maybe this is the only selfish thing that wouldn’t be a bad thing.
"I want that too,’’ he leans forward and I press my lips to his. I close my eyes and get lost in his lips. The fireworks erupt in my head as he pulls
closer to him. My heart thuds in my chest. I never would have thought it would be possible to feel the sa way for two people at the sa ti. Like kissing Blue and kissing rex both feel right. I have no doubts or worry and I want to relish this completely. I grab him by his waist and he pushes
until my back is against the wall. Slowly he pulls apart from
"We have a mission, let’s not fuck it up any further.’’ He breathes heavily against my mouth.
I rest my head on the wall because I know what he is talking about as I feel him hard against my leg. If anything happens between us in this room, Blue will never forgive
this ti. Right now, I know I still have a chance with him. I am reveling in that notion that we will all still be together again.
I want to hold on to that.
"Let’s just stick with cuddling for tonight,’’ I agree with him, releasing a sigh of frustration. He chuckles and lets go of , walking over to the bed.
"You should have your shower,’’ he reminds
and I walk into the bathroom. There is a tub and a sink with a toilet. The walls of the bathroom are dirty and I don’t think having a shower is comforting anymore. I walk over to the mirror and the person I see in the reflection is soone else. Yes., I am staring at myself but it feels like there is sothing, or should I say a lot different about . I close my eyes because this is exciting. The prospect of a new beginning. A different kind of life.
Once I open my eyes again, I see Blue in the mirror and he looks very upset.
Oh shit.
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