Chapter 76
She grew anxious when she emphasised the ti she had left. As Lil cast a hazy glance at the madman resting next to her, she noticed him spinning around. However, she understood that was most likely just a side effect of the alcohol. She also knew that this companionship she has with Ed will also be the first and last, giving her a reason to look at him a bit longer.
Ive waited a long ti. I waited and finally gave up, and its been so long since I did. But then this pervert showed up out of nowhere and caught
off guardIm slowly realising that I want to keep Ed. As Jarles suggested, it may be ti to give him part of my trust. It wont hurt to take him on the Bell Rock to Serlio Island and drop him off there. Panichi is still out of reach of the Navy, and we wont co across any on our way to Serlio. No matter how many guards we assign to him, it makes no sense to leave Ed in Panichi. Ill abandon my first intention to get rid of him.
She closed her eyes tightly.
I dont exactly know why Ed keeps asking
to share my story with him. He seems to know more about my circumstances than I do. And Im a little envious of how easy it seems for him to interpret my thoughts and show them to the world
Lil coughed forcefully to clear her throat and rolled her tongue in her dry mouth. She opened her eyes again and glanced up at the beautiful night sky. Like the sky that continually gives out magnificent starlight, she wanted to pour forth fragnts of her identity.
Will the parts of my identity shine as brilliant? For the first and last ti, Id like to know.
I thought this many tis before, but when I keep silent in a conversation with you, it feels like Im losing. However, Im not such a smooth talker as you are, so the right words dont co as easily to
as they do to you
She wasnt trying to be eloquent, but she couldnt help but be concerned about her poor speaking skills, so Lil cleared her throat again as she looked at Ed.
A small interference can have a great impact if one allows it Like how a snowball can turn into an avalanche
Ed was as calm as soone listening to old stories around a bonfire. He wasnt overly excited to burden Lil, nor overly quiet to make her feel ignored. Even if he didnt chi in after every sentence, she knew he was listening to her. Uncharacteristically, Ed seed to have a knack for stabilising his opponent.
Thats why n are really afraid of others. Afraid of beings who look just like them and think the way they think, it threatens them.
Are those beings the slaves or the foreigners you talked about?
Won.
Oh, you didnt ntion won before. Im sorry.
Dont overlook the opposite sex only because theyre being dominated in the guise of respect. When a woman holds a masters book, she gets ridiculed. Of course, while most won dont feel sha for such reproach still, it isnt her fault. An uneducated man would be treated the sa way. But so won, like n, can comprehend any great work. What makes them all think that this is impossible? Do they believe intelligence is exclusively for n?
Are you saying that a womans ignorance is ford by a lack of education instead of a lack of intelligence?
Yes. All humans have eyes for a reason. Its the sa with the ears, the mouth, and the legs. Just because a womans eyes are gouged out doesnt an she cant extract the treasures buried in books. How about cutting off her ears? Obviously, no one deserves to have their ears cut off, but this world firmly believes that its fine to do so. Those who are defined as inferior are being put in their place without hesitation. To people and to Mortu. Ugh, Its sothing that is driving
completely crazy. However, I believe that in the future, there will be an end to this.
It will end?
Yes. All this abuse will inevitably stop. Is it right for the world to cut off the noses of humans who were born with them intact? A civilization built on innocent sacrifices is destined to fall ill. As this world is already full of madness and anger, it will soon collapse. It will explode due to their inability to bear their own sins. Any dynasty or country has a history of such an end, its amazing that they still cant predict it despite having failed so many tis. Its self evident, a fact that cannot be questioned. The only thing Im not sure about is how far it will be in the future.
Even though her gaze was concentrated on the night sky, she could feel Ed staring at her with his chin resting on his hand. Its as if his gaze is fixed on her. When she thought about asking him to take his eyes off of her, Ed asked abruptly.
Why did you have to include the word future?
Lil frowned a little and bit her lip.
Because I wont be alive to see it. The continuation of life after death feels so far away, like the future.
But the farr said theres no need to mourn for not seeing the buds, Captain.
Do you think that a farr who is still only human can transcend the emotion of sadness?
Ed rubbed his lips.
So, is that why the grieving farr built his own society on the Bell Rock?
Lil was montarily speechless. She was so surprised that she didnt even realise she had fully understood Eds words. Her internal emotions and joy welled up like a fountain and let the water flow in beautifully ford arches. Had she been standing, she would surely have fallen over due to the amazing sight. Lil didnt notice that she was directly staring at Ed for a while now before realising they were looking at each other face to face. His green eyes laughed softly. She couldnt believe it and wanted to ask.
Are you real? How did you
She wanted to confirm that he was real by touching his skin. But as soon as she would confirm it, she probably wanted to hold him so he couldnt run away as she couldnt cope with the overwhelming emotions. However, that was only possible in a delusion. Lil retracted her outstretched hand and squished the hem of her robe into a fist. She had let go of all her desires a long ti ago, so in the end, she turned around with a heavy heart. She stubbornly shifted her focus to the view above her. The vastness of the sky.
I wanted to see it happen with my own two eyes.
Can a group that doesnt abuse others thrive?
Her face lit up at Eds judicial question. Shyness accompanies anything unknown, but her delight bursts forth like a flowing fountain. Lil answered by looking to the left.
Of course.
When people live together a group will naturally form. This may sound crazy, but I thought it would be achievable with permission. Anger and abuse are actions taken by soone who is striving to influence others in ways theyll never want to. But obviously, it will never work. Its aningless and ineffective. If you want to move others, you have to ask for permission first.
Permission is such a vague word. Can you clarify?
When Im making a legitimate request, Im making a promise that youll agree on. In return, youll show
respect, and occasionally use your skills for .
Thats like a contract.
Ed, who was still resting his head on his hand, fiddling with his earlobe, murmuring to himself.
It isnt a ridiculous idea the Bell Rock itself proves it
Lil thought to herself without verbally answering.
But the Bell Rock is over now. I just have to be satisfied. Im grateful to have observed the possibility that such a group can exist and Ill now spend the rest of my life as a wife and a mother. All I was allowed to do was to hope that one day this idea would be sculpted into reality and that the finished sculpture would be indescribably beautiful and dazzling. I want to lie down and be a stepping stone for that great arrival, but in the end, Im left alone on this lonely path again, unable to contribute to that brilliant realisation
I cant stand it.
What?
Lil was startled by accidentally verbalising her inner voice and quickly turned to Ed. Although he was still lying in a relaxed and friendly posture, Lil swallowed her dry saliva as the cold sweat on her forehead evaporated.
Did I say it out loud?
You did.
At the small mistake, Lil clicked her tongue. ALthough, it was quite questionable if she did that correctly because there was no sound. Lil humbly teased her tongue in vain, so she added.
I must be drunk.
Whats it that you cant stand?
Even though he was subrged in the night, his transparent green eyes shone brightly as if he knew sothing. She didnt want to answer, so Lil turned away from Ed again. After a while, she heard a voice whispering carefully.
Captain. Dont make stupid choices
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