I gaze upon the Tower Gauntlet on the morning of the first day of August, nearly a dozen miles away from my vantage point upon the roof of our house.
It’s standing there, so smug and triumphant, looming over us like a giant middle finger rising out of the earth, flipping
off for my weakness and inability to actually carry out the goals I’ve set for myself.
A reminder of the System’s might, despite the newfound clarity of my purpose.
Despite the resonance of my new bond with Filia sharpening our now shared desire to bring about an eventual end to the System before it brings an end to us, it persists, taunting .
I still don’t know how I feel about wielding Filia as a weapon.
Even though they don’t seem to mind, and have never once complained about the bond that I have with my weapon— one which doesn’t eat a Skill slot, thankfully— I feel as though I’ve subsud their will with my own.
And yet, I know I will need the power that they are offering
to move forward.
I…
I feel as though bonding with a sentient being, however willingly it might have been by both parties, in order to fight for an unachievable freedom, is paradoxical.
When they wake up in a few days, I would like to ask them more about their own perspective on the matter.
I shouldn’t assu that their psychology is like a human, as much as talking with
has convinced
of that point.
Unfortunately, that ans that I’m stuck here, on the outside, waiting for Filia to recuperate the [Ether] they used during the bonding ritual.
I can use the weapon they are bonded to just fine, but going in now ans being without the Skills they can use.
Or, far more importantly, the knowledge they have about the System from their own continuity.
And beyond the purely utilitarian perspective, it’s also the case that, for the indefinite future, Filia is going to be nearly as bonded to
as Chloe is.
In other words, we’re a team, and that alone ans that we’re going to be exploring the last twenty floors of the Tower as a team, together.
Which is not to say that I’ve been idle.
Every day, I’ve been training with my swordstaff out here in the open.
Not against monsters, at least not yet.
Just going through the motions, repeating them hundreds and thousands of tis each day, making sure that every flourish, every swing and thrust, cos as easily and naturally as moving my own body.
I’ve also been experinting with channeling [Ether] through it in different ways, trying to gain a new Skill or two of my own to amplify my prowess with the weapon.
However, I have been unsuccessful in that regard.
Even a basic [Swordstaff Proficiency] Skill has thus far been beyond my grasp.
It doesn’t concern
too much.
The best way to gain Skills and Skill ranks is to cultivate them in the heat of battle.
The next best is to try to create their effects directly through clever manipulation of [Ether] until one of them coalesces and clicks with the System, allowing us to more easily draw that effect together.
But right now, I’m not at the point of needing to focus on gaining Skills.
Simply knowing the basic techniques, and how I can move and fight with this new weapon most effectively, is my first priority.
And it truly is a flexible weapon, easy to use, and yet so versatile and difficult to master.
When to parry, when to slash or thrust, or even poke with the butt end of the weapon. Proper positioning is paramount; too far away, and enemies will evade outside of my reach.
Too close, and they won’t get hit by the edges upon my weapon’s tip.
And so I drop back down off the roof and into the backyard, going through another round of martial ditation.
This ti, I’m reliving the fight against Filia as my doppelganger, feeling their movents and how I think we both would have responded, had we been using this weapon instead of my arm cannon.
Ultimately, though, the real and most important test won’t be until we’re in the Tower, fighting for our lives, all for the chance for more strength to better repel the calamities that the System has to offer.
“Hey, Sera,” Chloe says, her entrancing voice breaking
out of my ditative stances.
“I’ve got sowhere to take you this morning.”
“Oh?
Where’s that?”
I strap Filia into a special harness at my back.
Normally, I’d stow them in my [Inventory], but, due to the ti dilation effect within the pocket dinsion, it’s best to keep them out for the ti being.
Chloe lowers her head.
“I think it’s sowhere best shown, rather than told.
But I promise, it’s nowhere bad.”
I sense her hesitancy, mixed with a bit of sorrow in her words.
But more than that, I trust her.
And if she believes that it’s best left unsaid until we get there, then I believe her too.
“Do I need to get changed?
We’re not going anywhere that requires formal attire?”
“I think we’re fine as we are,” Chloe says.
“Are you ready?”
I draw a bottle of water from my [Inventory] and take a swig before nodding in approval.
And then we’re off, flying over the city.
The warm sun to the east is already burning off the small bits of morning dew that had accumulated over the previous night, while the nearly-full moon is finishing its descent to the west.
Each morning, it seems that the skies are just a bit more crowded than they are the previous day.
Nothing like the congestion on the city streets, especially during rush hour, but enough that we’ll soon need rules of the sky alongside rules of the road to make sure that there aren’t any collisions.
And not just collisions between those of us flying under our own power.
Comrcial and recreational aviation has diminished significantly over the past few months as our global society has beco less interconnected.
Now, it’s more based on what might be seen as rudintary city-states operating in a loose federation of our world’s forr nation-states, System-granted Skills and nascent Ethertech enabling us to continue to live our daily lives without too much interruption.
But aviation does still exist, at least a few flights a day to neighboring cities, and a person flying into a comrcial jet turns out about as well as one running directly into an SUV.
I’ve seen at least one such report, and the pictures weren’t pretty.
I’m left to wonder exactly why we’re headed where we are as Chloe begins descending over one of the ceteries along the western side of midtown.
A grandparent or aunt, perhaps?
Or maybe one of our friends from school…
Goodness, I am the worst, aren’t I?
I’ve been so busy with… well, everything, and I’ve completely neglected everyone else.
I–
I hope we’re not going to go visit their graves.
I suppose it’s only fitting, if that’s where we’re going.
Ti to own up and pay for the many mistakes I’ve made.
Chloe doesn’t say a word as we walk among the graves.
So of them are from the before tis.
Most of them are.
But there are so, so many from the last four months.
People who died in the days after the System first arrived.
So by the weak creatures that appeared— imps and rats and spiders and probably slis as well, though I only ever saw and fought the giant kind.
And it’s here that I see what Chloe ca to show .
A small headstone with a bouquet of white flowers upon it.
And the na ‘Lily Mortensen’ engraved upon its obverse.
I walk up to it, dropping to my knees.
I thought I’d grieved properly.
I thought I’d cried everything I needed to cry and moved past her death.
But seeing this physical reminder that Mom— my birth mother, not Alicia— is well and truly gone.
It seems I’ve still got tears left to cry.
And cry I do, all the way until I’ve no more tears left to shed.
Chloe follows behind
once my crying has finished, placing a hand on my still-whimpering shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Sera.
By the ti things had settled enough for Mom and I to do anything, Lily’s body had already been claid by the state and cremated.
So there wasn’t anything we could bury.
But, she still deserves to be rembered.
Still deserves a place for you to mourn her.
And so, over these past few days, Mom helped
arrange the small plot of land for a headstone for her.
I–
I didn’t want to tell you about it, because I was worried you’d tell
not to worry or that there are other, more important matters we should be focusing on.”
“But–”
“But this is important, too.
I’m your girlfriend and your healer.
Which ans it’s my responsibility to look after you.
Especially given how reckless you are!”
“Hey!”
I cover my mouth, realizing that there are other families here as well, mourning their own lost kin.
Chloe purses her lips.
“That ans your emotional well-being as well as patching up all your wounds.”
I extend a hand to her, inviting her to kneel next to , which she does.
I wrap an arm around her shoulders, and her arm wraps around my waist, and the two of us together kneel in silence for a few seconds while I figure out what to say.
“Hey, Mom,” I mumble.
“It’s… been awhile.
I’m not sure if you’re able to listen…
Heavens above, six months ago, I would have said that death is death and there’s nothing beyond that.
But now, with the arrival of the System, I know that gods and monsters and even other worlds and tilines are real.
And so, who’s to say that there’s not so heaven high above where you can watch down on .
If…
If there is, I hope you can hear .
“Chloe and I did get together.
I guess you were right that she had so feelings for .
Still, I never would have thought things would have turned out the way they have.
I’ve been living with her and Alicia these past few months.
We’re…
getting along, for the most part.
And don’t worry, Chloe’s been taking care of .”
I cover my mouth with my hands.
“Uh, um, I didn’t an it in that way.”
I turn to Chloe, who’s suppressing a giggle.
“Even though she is taking good care of
that way too.” I silently ssage to her.
“So yeah, she and I are doing what we can to make it through this world.
It’s been tough.
A lot has changed.
But, I trust Chloe.
I believe in the bond we share.
It’s…
Yeah, I think that together, we’ll get through every challenge we face.”
“It’s like she says,” Chloe adds.
“You’ve got a reckless daughter.
She loves to act before thinking.
And she makes her share of mistakes, too.
Sotis big ones.
But so do all of us.
And there’s no one I’d rather share my life with, wherever that life might one day lead us.
So I hope that, wherever you are, you will smile down upon us and grant us your blessing.”
She reaches across my hips and grabs my chanical left hand, gripping it tightly.
“And, I hope that you will welco
as a part of your family just as Mom and I have welcod Sera into ours.”
We stay like this for a while longer.
Neither of us says anything more.
There’s no need.
Instead, we just silently hug each other, heads lowered, paying our respects.
And after a few minutes, we walk around the cetery, toward no one’s grave in particular, but just to take in the weight of the burdens that we have upon us.
The consequences of our failures.
The grieving families whose kin died because of .
I am… ashad.
Ashad of my weakness of body, yes.
But more ashad of the weakness of my heart, unable to accept the fact that, had I been stronger, wiser, more knowledgeable, better prepared, so of these people wouldn’t need to be here today.
They would be laughing and enjoying life with loved ones who might still be alive if not for my failures.
And I am too weak to do anything but watch in silence and look upon the grief I have brought about.
This too hardens my resolve.
I have to keep moving forward.
A little more each day.
Or the funerals will continue.
The System will continue to kill us in its crucible.
And the grief and loss will never stop.
I take Chloe’s hand in my own, afraid of the day I might lose her as well.
I pull her into a hug, and we stand like that, together, alone, surrounded by so much death.
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