The next day, the outlines of Lant's shores finally erged through the fog on the horizon. Tall city spires and massive port fortifications beca visible.
We stood on the deck, watching the approaching land. Or rather, I stood, and Alastia stood right behind , hugging my shoulders tightly.
"Could you please stop doing that?" I asked quietly, looking at the water. "I feel a little awkward."
"Why do you feel awkward?" she inquired innocently, not even thinking of loosening her grip. "What if you just take off and run away right now?"
"I won't run away."
I sighed with doom. Man, when did she even manage to grow so much? She was taller than
by, like, two whole heads. I literally felt like a keychain attached to her robe.
"Let go," I made another weak attempt to break free.
"I won't let go!" Alastia said with a ringing laugh, shaking her head. The movent caused her hair to scatter, repeatedly hitting
in the face and tickling my cheeks.
"Co on, it's unpleasant," I was genuinely outraged, trying to blow her silky strand off my nose. "By all the rules, it should be completely the other way around! Right now, from the outside, I look like so pretty boy being squeezed by a beautiful girl. I'm losing absolutely all my masculinity this way!"
Alastia froze for a second, and then, completely calmly, with a note of genuine surprise in her voice, said:
"I didn't even know you had any."
A hit. Right on the spot.
My ego was killed instantly. There was no point in making excuses, so I just stood there in absolute silence, watching the approaching Lant and resigning myself to the role of a plush toy.
Lant is a country that thrives on trade. And their main commodity... Alcohol. Literally. Here, probably even the infants know the recipe for a good brew. As soon as we ca down the gangway, we were joyfully shoved a "welco" keg of beer right in the port.
How do people even drink this? It's sour. But it seems every other passerby here drinks it.
Alastia, on the other hand, turned out to be simply a bottomless pit.
"Zen... co on, you try it too! It's simply wonderful," she happily repeated, emptying another mug in the tavern. "Zen... hic... I think I overdid it," she confessed honestly sowhere after the third keg. Grimuar had already tactfully disappeared by that ti, citing important diplomatic matters.
"Zenhald... drink with !" she cheerfully, but not very coordinately, slamd her empty mug on the oak table.
"When did you even manage to get so addicted to alcohol?" I was genuinely surprised, pushing this sour swill further away from myself.
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Instead of a cheerful answer, Alastia suddenly slamd her fist on the tabletop with anger. Tears unexpectedly flashed in her tipsy eyes. "Kael... Kael, he was... he was so happy with her... And that Anna... I won't forgive her!" she blurted out, swallowing tears of resentnt that I didn't even suspect existed.
But a second later, she waved her hand, as if waving away a delusion, and smiled drunkenly. "Alright, let's drop that topic. I made peace with it a long ti ago anyway."
"Alright, let's go, you walking disaster," I got up with a sigh and walked over to her.
"There's a little problem," the Supre Archmage inford , struggling to get up from the table. "I can't walk properly."
I just opened my mouth to express everything I thought about this situation, when she pressed a finger right to my lips.
"Shhhhh. Zenhald, just help
get to bed, and that's it. No extra words."
"But you can dispel all the intoxication with a snap of your fingers using magic!" I protested through her finger.
"THAT'S NOT FUN!" she objected loudly.
"Stop frowning. Being serious doesn't suit you at all," she added, swaying heavily and nearly collapsing onto .
There was nothing to be done. I turned my back, she leaned heavily on my shoulders, wrapping her arms around my neck, and I lifted her. Carrying this bulky mass—especially considering she's two heads taller than , and her feet were almost dragging on the ground—was quite the ordeal. Even though deep down it was pleasant to feel her warmth, when a person is dead drunk, all the romance sohow evaporates.
I could, of course, just teleport right into the rooms. But if I throw us through space right now, she will one hundred percent throw up right on the back of my head.
"Alright, just sleep," I said quietly, blowing her disheveled hair out of my eyes, and started walking.
When I arrived.
"One room, please," I exhaled, tossing a ringing coin onto the counter.
The woman behind the counter asured
with a look full of contempt. She silently placed the key in front of
and threw after : "Pervert."
What? I honestly didn't get it. Although, if you think about it... From the outside, it probably looks quite: so pretty teenager dragging a tall, beautiful, and absolutely unconscious girl into a cheap motel room.
I opened the door, walked into the cramped room, and simply collapsed on my back onto the bed, unloading Alastia next to . Lying there for a bit to catch my breath, I got up. She remained lying across the mattress, her hair scattered, snoring quietly. I adjusted her robe, quietly closed the door, and went out into the street.
Night. I walked down the empty street, left one-on-one with the silence.
What is all this for? I'm not even sure I truly want this. Have I ever loved? Like, with all my heart? Yeah, I probably fell in love in the past. But ti always takes its toll: either I forget everything, resetting to a blank slate, or they grow old and turn to dust. Do I even know how to love?
I sank heavily onto a wooden bench by the road and stared at the ground. Angry, uncomfortable questions started spinning in my head. I tried to rember at least one truly deep feeling. But instead ca the thought: if Alastia were ugly... would I even talk to her? What do I really like about her?
What an asshole I am. What am I doing? What am I creating? Why?
You think you're doing a good deed, Zenhald? How kind of you, it turns out. Who are you even? You're not even sure you're capable of keeping yourself under control, yet you're climbing into soone else's soul. Wanted to make her happy? Or did you just get bored once again and decide to play savior? Decided to give the only thing you have at your disposal—your ti?
Look at yourself. Since you've made up your mind, at least act like a man. For her, this is probably the first and last ti, you are the only one who can touch her. And you're acting like so kind of wimp. All she does is give you her attention, her care, protects you, and you? What do you give? You can only give her your warmth, which you don't have. And even from that you constantly distance yourself.
I knew myself too well: as usual, I would sit on a cold bench for hours, pondering the aning of everything happening, digging into myself, and ultimately not deciding anything.
At least try not to be a burden she has to carry around, my mind delivered the final verdict.
I raised my head and answered myself into the absolute emptiness: "Yeah... You're right."
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