Co to think of it, we’d been walking in silence for a while now. It wasn’t particularly awkward. But it wasn’t very comforting either.
Honestly, at this point, I really was starting to miss Juli.
I hoped we found soone soon. Anyone.
Even Alexia would do.
I sighed for the nth ti and glanced sideways at Lily.
Her lip was still split, her eye swollen shut. I doubted she could even see clearly from it. Her forehead was wrapped in gauze, and her nose looked... crooked.
Okay. Real talk.
Did I feel bad for punching seven distinct shades of hell out of her face?
Not really, no.
But did I not feel even a twinge of guilt?
...Fine. Maybe a little.
She did, after all, rescue and carry my unconscious body for three days. That must’ve been hard.
Sure, it wasn’t enough to earn her a place back in my good graces. Especially since she was the one who provoked into fighting her to begin with.
But still... I probably could’ve held back a little more.
I sighed again.
Then, after another quiet stretch, I scratched the back of my neck and finally asked the one question I had been wanting to ask her since forever.
"Why Michael, though?"
Lily turned to , frowning faintly at the sudden question. "What about him?"
"I an," I shrugged, "you said you’re sorry and all that. But... why him? Why’d you pick Michael? Sure, he’s a fine-looking man now, but before his Awakening? The guy was the most disgustingly ugly human being I ever laid my eyes on!"
She blinked. Then scoffed. "Do you seriously think I’d be with soone just for their looks? How shallow do you think I am, Sam?"
"Very," I replied without missing a beat. "But fair enough. I guess if looks mattered to you at all, you’d have never left ."
"Wow!" Lily half-chuckled, shaking her head. "I almost forgot how narcissistic you are."
"It’s not narcissism if it’s true," I pointed out. "Go ahead. Na five better-looking Cadets than in our entire batch. I’ll wait."
She opened her mouth and looked like she actually was about to try, then stopped as if realizing it was futile and scoffed again.
"Ha! See?" I grinned. "Exactly."
"Anyway," she said, changing the topic. "You must know about Saint Marcus, right?"
"...Ah, sure," I said, rolling my shoulders. "He was this legendary Awakened figure who had the power to make any two people fall in love that would never fade."
Lily nodded. "Yes, most people only rember the power. But what they forget is that Marcus died alone."
"Yes, I know. Ironic," I chortled. "One guy who could pair anyone together never found love himself. Maybe he liked being single."
"That’s what the stories say. But there’s a part all those fairy tales and legends leave out," Lily replied. "Marcus did fall in love. Once. But the person he loved... died young. Way before their ti."
I blinked, no idea where this conversation was headed. "Oh. Okay. Damn."
"Yeah," she said. "But of course, with his power, he could’ve moved on. He could’ve been with anyone — man or woman. He could’ve made it work with soone new."
"So why didn’t he?" I asked. "He just gave up?"
She smiled faintly. "Because Marcus believed in destined love. Soulmates, if you will. I know how cheesy it sounds — but he said true love only happens once in a lifeti. And if you lose it... nothing ever compares again. Everything else just feels like trying to relive a dream you barely rember. A feeling you keep on chasing forever but never quite grasp again. He said even with his powers... he couldn’t replicate that feeling of fated love."
I frowned. "That... sounds like nonsense to . I don’t believe in soulmates. People change and grow. What if the one you were with could’ve been your soulmate? Just the right person at the wrong ti — you know what I an? Like, I rember hooking up with this woman and thinking she was perfect. Unfortunately, she had kids older than , so she rejected . Still heartbroken about that, by the way."
Lily turned toward , smiling softly now. "No, Sam. That’s not how it works. It’s not sothing that grows over ti. It’s sothing that happens instantaneously. Sothing you know deep in your soul. It doesn’t wait. It hits you — like a bolt of lightning. Like your heart is being pulled into orbit around theirs. You feel it all at once — the gravity, the inevitability, the loss that hasn’t even happened yet. You feel it filling you and draining you all at once."
She paused, voice quieter now. "It’s not logical. It’s not earned. You just know. You know it like you know your destiny. Like fate itself walking up and tapping you on the shoulder."
I stared at her.
She continued, "Have you ever t soone who made you feel like that?"
I opened my mouth and waited for a mont.
I tried to think. I really did. But no one like that ca to mind. "I–I..."
Before I could answer, she did. "If you have to think about it... then you haven’t felt it."
I went quiet.
The silence stretched for a while.
Then I asked, almost reluctantly, "And you really believe finding this feeling is possible? I an given the population, what are the odds? Billions to one?"
"Yes, of course. It is possible to find it," she replied, smiling wider with a kind of quiet certainty now that made weirdly uncomfortable. "Everyone does eventually. You just don’t know when or where. It is fate. But you can lose it just as fast."
I stayed silent.
Lily exhaled. "Look... I’m not saying what I did wasn’t wrong. I understand how stupid I was. But that aside, the mont I t Michael... I just knew. I didn’t realize it back then, but I knew he was the one. It was destiny."
For the next few more minutes, we kept walking in a hush filled with the chirping of insects and the rustling of leaves.
Then... I snorted.
Lily glanced at warily. "What?"
"No, nothing," I said, waving it off. "Just wondering if you rehearsed that whole Saint Marcus monologue in front of a mirror."
"I did not—! What?!" she started, scandalized.
"Don’t get wrong, it was a great speech. I even got goosebumps! But there’s no way you said it all with a straight face. You definitely practiced it!" I giggled. "Especially the part where you claid to feel sothing in your soul. That was seriously so cringey."
"Oh my gods, Sam," she groaned, glaring at . "You’re impossible."
"You said it, not ." I smirked. "Also, for soone who believes so hard in fate and soulmates, you sure do specialize in giving people trust issues by cheating on them."
"Oh, heavens above!" Lily huffed. "I already told you I ssed up. Don’t make regret opening up to you!"
"You already should," I laughed.
"Ughh!"
The banter continued after that for a while.
I don’t even rember much of it.
But that’s not important.
What is important... is what I’ll tell you now.
It’s sothing I wouldn’t have ever admitted back then. Not to anyone. Not even to myself.
The thing is — Lily was right.
And I knew it.
I knew it deep in my heart.
She and Michael really were soulmates in the original story.
In so of the plotlines, the ones where Michael sacrificed himself to seal the Spirit King in the Void, he was completely forgotten by everyone.
He was practically erased from existence itself.
No one rembered him.
Not even Lily.
But even then, even when she had no idea who he was... she cried for him.
She’d wake up in the middle of the night with tears running down her face, clutching at her chest like sothing had been ripped out of it.
She’d stare up at the sky sotis and whisper to herself, wondering why it felt like she was missing soone.
She couldn’t explain it.
But the pain was still there.
And I hated that ending to the story.
Not because it was bad writing. No. It was excellent writing. It was beautiful and tragic and moving.
But it pissed off.
Because even after being erased from the world... he still had her heart.
Even the gods couldn’t take that kind of love away.
And I guess, deep down, I knew it in my past life — like I knew it back then.
I knew that I... would never be that special for anyone.
I would never be loved by anyone so much that even mory can’t erase from their heart.
That love that feels like a bolt of lightning.
That soul-shaking, world-breaking feeling.
I doubted I would ever experience them.
Because Lily was wrong about one thing — not everyone finds it.
And yeah.
Knowing that stung.
A lot.
But like I said, I would never have admitted that out loud.
So instead, I kept grinning and joking like I always did.
I put on that sa old indifferent persona and kept roasting Lily for her cheesiness while she groaned and rolled her eyes.
...Until, all of a sudden—
—THAADAM!!
A bone-rattling sound rumbled through the woods.
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