"You sit down for a bit, I'll go get you a glass of water... Ah, I forgot to buy so fruit on the way back..."
Returning ho, Shen Mochen prattled on as he took a bottle of water from the fridge for Han Muxue.
"There's no need to pity anymore..."
Han Muxue took the water with a murmur, head hung low. The light in the living room was dim, and her fringe cast a shadow across her face.
"What did you say?" Shen Mochen asked in response.
"I know... you pity , I'm sorry to you."
Han Muxue's hands shook as she clenched the water bottle, almost unable to hold it. She seed to be straining to speak, but her voice was so faint that it was almost inaudible unless listened to carefully.
"What's wrong, I don't feel like you have done anything to apologize to for." Shen Mochen gently caressed Han Muxue's cheek.
Han Muxue shook her head vigorously; her hair flew about: "Don't touch , listen to first... Anyway, she has already told you..."
"Who told ?" Shen Mochen asked.
"Her."
"Who?"
"It's..." Han Muxue pursed her lips, seemingly struggling to say it, and stiffly ntioned her, "My mom."
"She actually hasn't told anything..."
"Don't lie to , I know, you know it all!" Han Muxue grew agitated, then her head drooped dejectedly again, "I know, it must have been her who told you... You're not at all surprised."
She indeed didn't tell anything... Shen Mochen thought to himself. But he did not contradict her this ti; he did indeed know what Han Muxue wanted to discuss, although he had only guessed it.
"Even if I knew, what about it? I don't think you're at fault."
"Don't you think I'm ridiculous? Like a rat, hiding in the dark, stinky gutter to attack her; she doesn't care at all, it's only who does!" Han Muxue's expression twisted, "But it's so unfair. Don't you think it's unfair? Why... why... why!"
Shen Mochen tried to console her: "Muxue, listen to ..."
"No, you listen to !" Han Muxue quickly interrupted Shen Mochen, "I know, I must be a joke to you now. I'm just jealous of her. Because I got hurt in her mother's dance class, I crazily envied what she is today, babbling like a villainous clown... I know! I know... A dark character like would even be the villain in Magic Girl. She is the protagonist of this world, she is the good person, and I'm the bad guy!"
Shen Mochen embraced Han Muxue with a heartache: "How could you think like that? You haven't done anything wrong; it's their family who owes you an apology. You're the victim, and victims are not in the wrong."
"Listen to , listen to !" Han Muxue, crying, pushed Shen Mochen away, and wiped away her tears, "I'm just a despicable villain, getting carried away with the slightest bit of success. I was very scared at ho, and got along with them fine. But after my awakening, I imdiately sought revenge. I don't know why I spoke to them in that tone. I was a triumphing petty person, bossing around my parents the mont I got a chance! I know I was wrong, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... It was the sa earlier, snooping on others like a cockroach, weirdly smug about it, even though they've never looked at - just wallowing in a delusion of victory! Hahaha, it's so disgusting!"
Han Muxue beca louder as she spoke, finally breaking down emotionally and crying out loud.
"Don't think like that, don't think like that. I think you're cute, there's nothing wrong with that..."
"I'm just a coward, a fool, a wastrel! I resent them for favoritism, yet I just had to spend all the money I earned! I deliberately wore my finest, most expensive clothes in front of them... serves you right for how you treated before!" Han Muxue laughed and cried simultaneously, her expression woeful, "But I didn't dare to really spend it all, I still gave them so money, I was afraid they'd abandon . If they think I don't give them money, that I'm useless... they won't care about anymore! How will I manage then? Laughable, isn't it? It's so ridiculous to live like this! I'm just a wastrel, I'm useless, I can only fill my ego with money, keep up my bullshit pretense..."
Shen Mochen didn't know what to say; all he could do at that mont was to quietly hold the other person.
Han Muxue lay her head on Shen Mochen's shoulder and wept, hands clenched tight.
"I know you never liked from the beginning, everything as a child was just joking. I know you liked the girl who slept in the bed next to ours; she was your first love, right? You were worried I'd disturb her rest, so you'd talk to on purpose, to make happy. I've been deluding myself... I'm sorry to you; I know you're not a jerk, I've been exploiting your sympathy, tying you to . I know, compared to my despicable self, Cai Yuncui and Xia Qingrou are better! I've wanted to say this for a long ti, but I didn't know how to start!"
Shen Mochen softly said, "I think you're good too, I think you're good too, I think you're good too."
"I'm not good at all, not gentle, not considerate, can't take care of others, and I'm a cripple..."
"Stop calling yourself a cripple; I don't want to hear that word. Muxue, believe , one day I will make you stand up."
"There's no need to comfort , you're just too kind a person, so you get exploited by others... I don't even understand my own feelings. I tell you I don't want you to ruin the relationship between Xia Qingrou and Cai Yuncui, but I don't know how much of that is genuine, and how much is just crazed jealousy when I see you close to them, so I find an excuse... Haha, hahaha, hahaha..."
As Han Muxue cried, her lips turned pale,
"Let's break up, I'm sorry to you; I can't keep making mistakes. You're a good person, and I know I don't deserve you. You don't have to pity anymore, and don't worry about feeling awkward when you see in the future. I'm going to retire early... As a cripple like , I can apply for early retirent. I've already decided to retire, I'll talk to the captain, she'll let through..."
"Do you want to break up with ?" Shen Mochen was stunned.
"I'm just a triumphing scoundrel, both cunning and shaless... you, you deserve better..."
"I don't want that!"
Shen Mochen declared, word by word.
He had finally said it. When he broke up with Catherine, he hadn't said it; he hadn't said it when breaking up with Xia Qingrou either.
But now, he had finally said it.
Why is it that you just get together when you want, and break up when you want?
"I don't want that!" Shen Mochen repeated, "And I will make your legs recover..."
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