It was wonderful, finally being able to be with the one he loved.
It was wonderful, wasn't this sothing he wouldn't even dare to dream of?
It was wonderful, wasn't this a secretive joy, a two-for-one deal?
But, despite being in the presence of the one he loved, he didn't feel any happiness at the mont, only discomfort, only pain, only humiliation.
"Don't do this..."
Shen Mochen finally spoke up. He lifted Han Muxue, and then picked up the skirt to personally dress her.
His mind was foggy, his heart growing increasingly uncomfortable. Perhaps it was the condemnation of his conscience; such emotions had been absent for a long ti.
"You, you think I..."
Han Muxue's face was strained with pain as she lowered her head, sobbing uncontrollably.
"No, I don't despise you… But even if I am a scumbag, seeing a girl cry like this would make feel guilty."
Shen Mochen said softly.
"You don't need to feel guilty; I did this willingly, I willingly agreed to it!"
"You make feel so guilty, I know it's my fault..."
Shen Mochen's mind was a jumble at that mont; he didn't know where to start, he didn't know how to explain.
When so things can't be explained to others, it ans they are inherently wrong and immoral.
Han Muxue clutched Shen Mochen's hand tightly: "No, today, we must resolve this!"
She no longer trusted Shen Mochen. Even if Shen Mochen promised not to pursue Xia Qingrou and Cai Yuncui, she wouldn't believe him.
Just like a dog cannot change its habit of eating dirt, could a young man filled with vigor really restrain himself forever because of a montary emotion, a montary impulse?
Han Muxue wasn't so naive. She had long seen through human nature; people co and go, all driven rely by self-interest; no one can forever resist the instincts of human nature.
Shen Mochen was also aware of this; his best solution was to promise not to get close to Xia Qingrou and Cai Yuncui again, but he also knew his current promises were futile.
Not to ntion that Han Muxue wouldn't believe him, even he wouldn't believe himself.
It seed like a deadlock. Shen Mochen couldn't break away from Xia Qingrou and Cai Yuncui, nor could he make Han Muxue believe him. Han Muxue was unwilling to trust Shen Mochen; she was determined to keep him away from the two.
The two stood firm, Shen Mochen feeling that the best way now was to flatly tell Han Muxue it wasn't possible, outright denying her request.
She probably didn't have the courage to make a bloody scene.
Yet, looking at Han Muxue's quivering lips, Shen Mochen just couldn't bring himself to be that harsh.
What was happening to him, becoming so tender-hearted.
But if he didn't reject her, given the situation, sothing would happen between them since he couldn't get away today.
Shen Mochen didn't want anything happening with Han Muxue, not because he had no interest in her body, but because he didn't want to drag her into this; he genuinely didn't want to hurt her.
But with her going this far, flatly refusing her suggestion was also impossible, nor could he harden his heart.
Lie, just lie, as he had done before, fabricate a lie.
Shen Mochen took a deep breath, slowly embraced Han Muxue tightly, and affectionately nuzzled her cheek: "Let's date in secret."
"What?"
Han Muxue was stunned.
"From today on, you're my girlfriend, but let's not tell the people in the team. If you want to tell your family, you can. I agree to half of your conditions—I'll beco your boyfriend and won't make moves on Xia Sister and Cai Sister, by which I an, I won't do that kind of thing with them. In return, as my girlfriend, you'll have to satisfy my needs if I have any. Lastly, our secret relationship is only in na, so if you fall for soone else later, you can break up with anyti. Do you understand?"
"You, you..."
Han Muxue was completely bewildered—dating, keeping it a secret, and it's only in na... What does this dating an, I don't understand!
Indeed, Han Muxue wasn't the only one confused; even Shen Mochen himself didn't fully grasp it. But his previous relationship with Catherine was sort of in the sa pattern.
However, this was the only way to stabilize Han Muxue now.
Shen Mochen always had his tricks. Han Muxue had agreed to be a conscript, so she had less than a year left before her discharge. All he needed to do was restrain himself from getting involved with Xia Qingrou and Cai Yuncui in that way for this period.
And as long as he maintained a pure relationship with Han Muxue during this ti, they could naturally break up when she retired.
Although it might be tough for ten months, it was already the best solution.
Han Muxue's mind spun for a long while before so clarity erged.
She and Shen Mochen were engaged in a relationship based on an agreent with no emotional foundation, like a fake marriage, but he would adhere to the duties of a boyfriend, not getting involved with other won, and she, it seed, also had the rights of a girlfriend, like forbidding him to cheat?
Compared to being a toy at soone's disposal, this outco seed better, huh?
Han Muxue nestled in Shen Mochen's arms, her mind a bit crashed.
How did it turn out like this, is this really reality? She had been ready to make a "noble sacrifice," and in the blink of an eye, it seed like they suddenly beca "comrades, one of us"...
Problem, seems resolved? I even gained a boyfriend, the boy I've always been longing for.
Is this the feeling of happiness? The sudden change left Han Muxue muddled, her head bumped against Shen Mochen's shoulder, and she cried uncontrollably, gritting her teeth and muttering, "Aren't you a jerk? Why are you doing this..."
"Even jerks have a conscience," Shen Mochen whispered softly, inhaling the scent of gardenias around him, "From now on, please take care of , dear Muxue."
"Do you really... not despise ?"
Shen Mochen slowly released Han Muxue, then carefully held her foot, gently kissing the top of it. "What do you think?"
Han Muxue's face turned bright red in an instant: "Don't, don't do that... feet are dirty."
Although her legs had no sensation, Han Muxue still couldn't withstand such embarrassing gestures.
"I will find a way to heal your legs," Shen Mochen rubbed Han Muxue's head.
"They can't be healed, I've gotten used to it..."
Han Muxue's eyes seed deep, feeling the warmth from his hands, feeling like she was in a dream.
Yes, a truly unexpected outco. With this, it seems not so bad anymore, even if I have to sit in a wheelchair for life.
However, Han Muxue imdiately sobered up again, warning herself not to get too attached, as this dream had an expiration date.
She knew his purpose; Shen Mochen was gently responding to her request, not truly loving her.
Their secret love affair would probably only last until her retirent. By then, what he did was beyond her control, nor did she have any right to demand anything from him.
But still, even though all this is fake, even though all this is dood to vanish like bubbles... Still, right here and right now, I want to savor this mont of beauty.
Han Muxue reached out to Shen Mochen: "I'm so tired, hold for a while."
Reviews
All reviews (0)