The word "family" coming from Xia Qingrou's mouth had Shen Mochen feeling sowhat bewildered.
He had no family now, and Xia Qingrou knew it.
He looked down at Xia Qingrou, and sensing his gaze, she also looked up at him.
But Xia Qingrou's eyes carried a hint of timidity and evasion.
"What's wrong..." Xia Qingrou turned her face away.
Perhaps she had been too eager, brazenly claiming to be his family, was it too soon... Did he think she was trying to bind him, maybe even forcing a marriage?
Shen Mochen didn't speak for a mont, and with each silent second, Xia Qingrou's panic grew. She rembered Shen Mochen's cold look when she urged him at Yin Caiyu's hospital bedside to let go.
Maybe she was just deluding herself, thinking only the girl on that hospital bed could be considered his family in his heart.
Xia Qingrou was filled with uncertainty, her heart suddenly filling with grievance, and she felt a wave of the urge to cry, a surging ache.
In fact, Xia Qingrou had no other intentions; she just felt Shen Mochen sotis looked very lonely. He would always just sit and stare blankly into space.
Xia Qingrou had noticed several tis when Shen Mochen stared blankly; his eyes were lifeless, empty, containing nothing. It made her heart ache.
Even though she hadn't been ho for a long ti, Xia Qingrou kept in frequent contact with her family, never feeling lonely because she knew she had roots. She knew no matter when she returned ho, soone would be there waiting for her.
But Shen Mochen was different; he had no family left. Alone in the vast world, he walked a solitary path.
Xia Qingrou had once imagined what it would be like if all her family were gone, and the answer was she couldn't fathom it.
She couldn't picture such a world, a chaotic void; as if standing at a crossroads with countless paths, yet she recognized none.
She wouldn't know who she was, where she was, only a sense of utter loss.
So she understood why Shen Mochen regarded Yin Caiyu with such importance; she was his sole connection to the world. Without Yin Caiyu, the world would beco completely unfamiliar, and he too would forget who he was.
Xia Qingrou wanted to comfort him, but she dared not speak openly, fearing that any careless word might wound his pride. So, Xia Qingrou could only use her body to comfort him, to bring him a bit more joy.
Whether for herself or for Shen Mochen, she hoped he would fully accept her, so that Yin Caiyu wasn't his only concern, that he had her too.
In this world, there was soone who could embrace him, a family mber always waiting for him.
But, was it still not possible? Xia Qingrou clenched her fists, her eyes brimming with tears in the night, about to spill over.
"You're so strange, you know, even family mbers should reciprocate..." Shen Mochen said, "You're kind to , and I'm kind to you; that's what being family is."
Xia Qingrou was stunned for a mont, suddenly feeling as if a thunderclap echoed in her heart, and the clouds broke to clear skies. She bit her lip and buried her face into Shen Mochen's chest, biting down hard.
The jerk, couldn't he have said sothing earlier instead of having her panting for breath!
Shen Mochen cried out in pain, "What are you doing?"
Xia Qingrou humd through her nose without saying a word.
"Why suddenly go crazy? You bit hard..." Shen Mochen rubbed his chest.
"You bite often enough!" Xia Qingrou retorted, though still reaching out to rub the spot for him.
Shen Mochen irritably responded, "I suck gently, not at all like you, coming at with one sharp bite, can it be the sa?"
Xia Qingrou pouted, conceding she was in the wrong and said no more.
After massaging for a while, Xia Qingrou softly asked, "Does it still hurt?"
"What do you think, of course it hurts, I feel like you've bitten until I bled!"
"Then, let let you bite back."
Shen Mochen perked up at this, "You said it yourself, ah!"
Xia Qingrou felt a small shock in her heart, but still mustered the courage, moved her body up a bit, and aligned her chest with Shen Mochen, "Go ahead and bite!"
Shen Mochen, slling the girl's rich body fragrance, intentionally opened his mouth wide: "Should I really bite?"
Xia Qingrou panicked inside, and instinctively whispered softly, "Lightly, softly..."
"Why didn't you go easy when you bit ?"
Shen Mochen opened his mouth, purposely "growl" in a threatening tone, scaring Xia Qingrou into closing her eyes tightly.
"Hey, if you really bite and it hurts, I will..."
Xia Qingrou blurted out in a fluster, but before she could finish, Shen Mochen had already gently kissed her chest.
"There, we're even now!"
Shen Mochen said after kissing her.
Xia Qingrou suddenly opened her eyes, "That's it?"
Shen Mochen couldn't help but laugh: "Co on, did you actually want to bite you? Consider this a little lesson!"
Xia Qingrou felt sweet inside, stretched out her hand to press Shen Mochen's face into her chest, and rubbed it with giggles: "I knew you couldn't bear to bite !"
The two of them played and teased. Shen Mochen felt his irritation nearly surge again, which scared Xia Qingrou into quickly letting go. Having just been rewarded with two hundred dollars by Shen Mochen, her body was soft like noodles; if they went at it again, she truly wouldn't be able to handle it.
Xia Qingrou snuggled into Shen Mochen's arms, drawing circles on his body, "The other day, both my parents called... they know I have a boyfriend... they want to see you."
"Hmm, are they coming over?"
"They haven't said that yet, but, you know, I was thinking, maybe around Chinese New Year, we both could find so ti off to visit my ho together... It's also been a long ti since I last went back, let's go back together."
Shen Mochen hesitated slightly; he knew what Xia Qingrou was thinking. He also knew that Xia Qingrou had always been trying to please him, always caring for the self-esteem of an orphan.
Shen Mochen had no family; her family was his family.
"Okay... if it doesn't conflict with anything," Shen Mochen said vaguely.
He hadn't refused Xia Qingrou's suggestion because there was no reason to refuse under these circumstances. But he hadn't directly affird her proposal either, because he didn't know for sure if he and she would still be together by that day.
So all he could do was nod in a non-committal way.
Actually, lying ca easy to Shen Mochen; he had never been very honest with others since he was young. To deceive Xia Qingrou, a girl with love on her brain, was even easier, but he wasn't a perpetual liar to everyone, like to Yin Caiyu and Yin Huailian.
"Okay, then it's settled!" Xia Qingrou, thinking she had received a definite answer from Shen Mochen, hugged him tightly with happiness, "My family is quite nice, they will definitely like you!"
Shen Mochen didn't say anything, just held the person in his arms tightly.
Actually, he shouldn't really be in a relationship with Xia Qingrou; he was very clear about this, as it would do neither of them any favors in the long run.
But he was far too lonely, only able to hold on tightly to this girl nad Xia Qingrou, grasping for her warmth.
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