79-80: I think I know what I want to do in the future.
Chapter 79
Shan Zhu buying the house was actually a big thrill to Ling ng. Although Ling ng also knew that one in a hundred college graduates were totally responsible for a down-paynt after graduation, and such an example was nearby and he was also strongly impacted by this direct observation.
Besides, Ling ng knew better than anyone else, the live broadcast was just a springboard for Shan Zhu; his ambition was on a broader level. After all the distractions had been eliminated, Shan Zhu tried to pick two matches for live comntary and managed to divert nearly one-tenth of the official traffic, which was an extrely impressive achievent for private comntary.
Under the active behind-the-scenes manipulation of Fighting Cat, Shan Zhu finally received his first guest invitation to live comntary in an arena, a major step towards his established goal.
Having been together for a long ti, Ling ng had co to learn that Shan Zhu was a man with a very clear goal: if he wanted to broadcast live, then he stread. If he wanted to pursue Ling ng, then he pursued. If he wanted to do comntary, then he comntated. By fulfilling one goal at a ti, he would never get lost on the path of life.
Looking at himself, a living salted fish, pushed away by ti every day. Being an anchor was a pure impulse. Even though he liked the work, he hesitated over signing up for a career like Shan Zhu and having to stream on a regular basis every day.
Before now, Ling ng had thought that graduation was still a long way off, but Shan Zhu made him realize it was never too early to plan your life.
The coach of Ling ng’s junior high school track team had a huge impact on him, so he once thought of becoming a junior high school PE teacher. But the rebellious child, Shan Zha, managed to kill that idea.
He wanted to think it over and the only certainty he had was that The Legend of the Galaxy was still as attractive to him as ever. The people he knew in the e-sports league were very friendly, so he wanted to stay in this circle.
The FRUIT team recruitnt staff were frantically @ing Lemon on Weibo as part of their recruitnt efforts. Ling ng carefully considered their options and found that the only job he was satisfied with was personal assistant, in charge of helping the players order delivery, picking up ssages, and massaging their shoulders and neck.
But when he casually ntioned the idea to Shan Zhu, he was t with opposition.
“Why are you going to FRUIT? If you really go, wouldn’t Xiang Jiao three tis a day be saying he has a headache, fever, and hand injuries? If you really want to be an assistant, co and help . I’ll pay you.”
Ling ng didn’t want to get paid by Shan Zhu either. But coincidentally, just days after Ling ng started thinking, a web show producer found Ling ng.
The producer described it beautifully: “Our show has with the highest click-through-rate in the industry. Even though it’s an unofficial production, because it’s so popular, it’s often officially chosen to play between matches. The reporter who is in charge of our interviews is sick, so we need soone temporarily for a few shifts, only a few hours a week. Preferably, we want a familiar face in the Galaxy and I think Lemon Dad is the only one for this.”
Ling ng thought this was perfect in every way. He was happy to promise to co down, only to find out later that he had been fooled. The producers didn’t brag at all, they were number one in CTR in the world with their “I’m Not Black Powder” show acclaid by millions of Galaxy players.
Each episode of the show picked the trickiest questions to ask the pros, especially poking into their sore spots. The interview targets were often rendered speechless by direct hits. Because this was exactly what the masses loved to see and hear, the reporters were often risked their own necks.
Ling ng was incredibly suspicious of what “sickness” the last reporter was ill with, but he had already boarded the pirate ship, so he could only commit himself fearlessly to the spirit of self-sacrifice.
Chapter 80
The new episode of “I’m Not Black Powder” had been popular since the trailer, with the 30 seconds of short video being reposted more than 4000 tis. The producer had expected that the episode would explode, but didn’t expect it to be popular before it even aired.
Because Ling ng was infamous as a hated player, previously he beca even more popular when streaming. After the broadcast where people found out that his real life appearance looked like soone you couldn’t hate, in everyone’s mind, his attributes to scold him over turned into his ng attributes.
Such a hated ngng (CuteCute, not his normal nickna) would now face off in a real life battle with resentful pro players; was it the awe-inspiring Lemon Dad who would once again shake the entire country or would he be beaten up by the pros? His job was the day’s hot topic for the Galaxy players.
Waiting until the episode was live, many Galaxy anchors didn’t even play the ga, dedicating their stream to refreshing the official channel with the water friends in each broadcast room also typing out “hahahaha” in advance, ready to send it out.
Even Shan Zhu was on half an hour ahead of schedule, and he even turned the cara on in good faith, using the huge popularity of his own live broadcast to increase the exposure of the first viewing of Ling ng’s interview show.
Only Ling ng’s face with an indifferent face rcilessly rejected the water friends’ request for a change in channel: “Why do you want to look at, it’s not good at all, I’m not watching, you all can’t either.”
However, this also didn’t affect the online screening. Next to him, Shan Zhu’s shoulders shuddered in laughter every now and then. The Ling ng with a lying mouth but an honest body sneaked a glance over several tis, wondering which one of the interviews was making him so happy.
The first stop of Ling ng’s interview was the VEGETABLE team.
“Hello, I’m from the “I’m Not Black Powder” show, can I interrupt you for a few minutes?”
Shan Yao, who was playing the ga, looked back: “Sister-in-….”
“Call Lemon!”
Shan Yao endured with a forced smile: “Lemon, hello.”
The special effects team added fuel to the fire and photoshopped Shan Yao with sweat drop and the ssage: That was dangerous, almost let it leak.
“So it turned out you’re the one in charge of the interview for this program.”
Ling ng:?
“No, this is my first shift……what, you haven’t been on this show before?”
“How could that be, I’m a regular.”
“Then how co you don’t even know who the interviewer is?”
“Previously, I’ve seen him co wearing a helt.”
Ling ng:???
Ling ng:!!!
“Then why didn’t the show staff give it to ?!”
“They probably don’t think of you as a human being.”
Later, the effects team added a Ling ng photoshop, including a steel helt: Alright, alright, here you are.
Shan Yao introduced himself on cara: “Hello, everyone, I am Team VEGETABLE’s Yam.”
Ling ng cald down from his panic and lowered his head to study the black comnt card in his hand: “Yam, you have played for four seasons and have taken second place three tis. Is two your lucky number, if you don’t mind answering?”
“Actually, my lucky number is one. As for why second place three tis, I think……maybe it’s because I’ve been doubly lucky before, one plus one equals two. When I’m just normally lucky one day, I will take first place.”
[Really good math.gif]
“Rumor has it that the TUBERPLANT team offered 10 million to buy your contract, why didn’t you transfer, do you not value money?”
“Because they promised a down paynt of 500,000 and the remaining 9.5 million would be paid in equivalent installnts of potatoes. I didn’t think I could eat that many potatoes in my whole life, so I turned it down.”
[Shan Yao buried by potatoes.gif]
Ling ng was stunned: “Is that true?”
“Of course it’s fake. That’s a rumor, people who believe it should eat more potatoes and protect their IQ.”
[An arrow pointing to Ling ng: Naive.]
Ling ng: “All charm, no substance, if this was the evaluation value, you would already be Galaxy Pro League Champion.”
Shan Yao: “Is that really what black powder says? True love powder are embarrassed to blow like that.”
Ling ng: “Don’t pursue unrealistic championship dreams, retire as an anchor and I’ll support you.”
Shan Yao: “I’ll sell songhua cakes, you’ll steal an electric vehicle? I’ll think about it.”
Ling ng: “Team VEGE forbids players from falling in love, this directly limits the developnt of you and .”
Shan Yao: “On behalf of the team’s top managent, I’m deeply sorry for your loss.”
[Really a huge letdown.avi]
“You’re older than Banana, but have never won SOLO against him, don’t you feel humiliated?”
“Although I’m older than him, he’s went pro before I did, so he’s kind of my qianbei. It’s natural for houbei to lose to their qianbei. But there’s also a saying that’s good: the rear waves of the Yangtze River drive on those before and the front wave dies on the beach. I’ll keep trying.”
Ling ng reminded him in friendly manner: “But since Xiang God is younger, his wave may be longer than yours.”
“The age of pro players is important, but the status is almost important too. At least my current status is on the rise. You can’t look up to him just because he was more powder and he is more obvious as your powder. I’m also your hidden powder. Is that e-sports chair still comfortable to sit in?”
“Comfortable……I’m just a little temporary reporter, what are you bribing to do!”
Shan Zhu smiled in reply: “To get you to blow when you interview him next ti.”
The second person interviewed was Pineapple.
“Hello~~ I’m Pineapple-chan from Team Fruit, be familiar with ! I’m still a Lemon Daddy powder. Thanks to Lemon Dad for bringing joy after ga training!”
“…….don’t talk about that. Getting straight to the point: You love to cry. When you win, you cry; when you lose, you cry. Is this black evaluation going to make you cry?”
“I had just been chosen as a regular in my first season, our team was on a bad losing streak, so there was a lot of Fruit powder who thought I should carry the bla. When I opened Weibo, 99 out of 100 comnts said I wasn’t fit to play pro and said that I faked my crying after losses. That was the first ti and only ti I ever cried because of criticism.”
[Pineapple-chan’s pitifully cute crying.gif]
“And then you grew up?”
“No. After that, I uninstalled Weibo.”
Ling ng: …….
[Weibo’s pitifully cute crying.gif]
“No one can beat you 1V1, you can only be used as a dog for Banana in 5V5.”
“I have to clarify! First of all, it’s a coaching team tactic. Most of the ti, I’m in charge of acting as bait or going forward to flaunt myself as a distraction a lot! Second, do you think the captain would be a dog for ?!” Bo Luo said with an expression of horror. Ling ng thought for a mont and then shivered.
[Dog Pineapple-chan’s barking.gif]
“A pro who often falls from the cosmic god rank.”
“I need to clarify that, too! Everyone else usually goes SOLO to single rank, but I like to single rank 3V3 or 5V5. These matches aren’t ones where a person can carry, and besides, I often run into anchors!”
“Then why do you have to queue up like that?” Ling ng interrupted and asked.
“Because I love the unknown nature of the ga!”
Ling ng: ……you’re just idle =.=
“But there should be less of this in the future because of the new team rules. At the end of the month, cosmic god rank or deduction of wages, so everyone will only be able to snipe in the cosmic god rank in the future!”
[RMB’s pitifully cute crying.gif]
Ling ng: “Galaxy League Kindergarten Cup League Champion.”
Bo Luo: “I will stay number one at that for a lifeti!”
Ling ng: “Xiang God’s expression translator.”
Bo Luo: “Eh? Is that a thing? I think the captain’s expressions are pretty colorful.”
[Indifferent Xiang Jiao.jpg]
“The only reason you work hard at being pro is your fear of Banana.”
“Well, our captain, he has been fierce for a really long ti. I rember when I first added his Weibo, whenever I chatted to him, he sent back to ‘…’ or ‘oh’. It seed like he’d be hard to get along with, but, of course, it’s much better now.”
“Did you get more of a response after you got to know him?”
“No, sotis he goes back to that and just sends your expression pack, so I’m feeling more affinity to him.”
Ling ng: ……why do I have to keep questioning this guy.
[You boys play gas very well, oh~.gif]
“Last one: In the future, please don’t sing when live.”
“About this one, I think it’s my fans who don’t know how to appreciate it. If you don’t believe , Lemon Dad, you’ll have to evaluate it objectively.”
Ling ng thought about the important thing the producer told him about before he set off. He quickly got up and hurried to leave: “Excuse , slipping away.”
“Don’t do that, I haven’t sung yet,” Bo Luo leaned forward and grabbed his sleeves, not letting Ling ng go, “~~~”
[Lemon Dad: Drop dead.]
The third interview was Avocado, the Big Fiend of Team FRUIT.
“Hello, everyone, I’m Team FRUIT’s Avocado.”
“Ah, it seems the black powder only have one question for you: Avocado is widely regarded as the worst fruit to eat, please quit the fruit world.”
Niu YouGuo rolled up his sleeves: “Coach! Close the door! Don’t let him get away!”
Ling ng:???
Ling ng:!!!
[Lemon Dad: Drop dead again.]
Ling ng had a lucky break on the fourth pass.
“I’ll let you introduce yourself.”
“I’m FRUIT’s Banana.”
“Your black powder wants to ask you: When can you spoil powder?”
“When the powder brush the cat courtyards.”
Ling ng:?
“But you never stream, right?”
“Right.”
Ling ng: ……
[Xiang God: Insane Suggestion]
“Please let the other pro players, especially Shan Yao, make a living.”
“Because he gave you an e-sports chair?”
Ling ng:???
“No! This is the black powder ssage, I’m just in charge of reading it!”
“The sponsors have just sent over a set of routers.”
Ling ng:???
“It’s very easy to use.”
Ling ng:????
“Do you want it?”
“No, we’re recording the program right now!” Ling ng turned to the director for help, “This bit will be edited out later, right?”
The director showed him an “OK” sign off-cara.
Later, not only was it not edited out, but also in the center of the screen was a ssage of “SURPRISE!”.
Ling ng: “As the richest player in the league, if you were dissatisfied with a new update, would you buy the ga developnt company to force changes?”
Xiang Jiao: “Directly buying out the planning would be faster.”
Ling ng: “How many years does soone need to be single and practice to reach the sa speed as you?”
Xiang Jiao: “A lifeti.”
Ling ng: “Can you still rember your Weibo password?”
Jiang Xiao: “Forgot.”
Ling ng: “Your alien faction was no match for just an anchor.”
Xiang Jiao: “The anchor also had good skills, such as……”
His eyes stayed on Ling ng for a few seconds: “Forget about it.”
Ling ng:???
“But he sings well.”
“I can only weakly ask, do you think I’m better at singing than Pineapple-chan?”
“Are.”
Ling ng: …….
[Lemon Dad: Ultimate Drop Dead]
The video ended here, the ending credits were accompanied by a few clips.
Ling ng: “Thank you, Xiang God, for the interview.”
Xiang Jiao: “Router?”
Ling ng: “……I thank you.”
Shan Yao: “I heard soone converted Shan Zha to FRUIT?”
Ling ng: “……Excuse , slipping away.”
Shan Yao: “Never mind.”
Ling ng:??
Shan Yao: “Xiang Cai! Co say hi.”
A small version of Xiang Jiao swung through the door, saw the cara inside, and left again.
Ling ng:?????
Shan Yao: “He’s aspiring to beat his Ge, so I gave him our youth assessnt, he’ll be here next year. Please tell Banana, we VEGE won’t make it easy for them to win the championship every ti.”
Bo Luo: La~ La~ Lalalalala~ Lalalala~ Don’t be sad about the end.
Mystery Man: “As the man with the most black powder, do you have anything to say to the black powder?”
Ling ng: “Uh, just, there are always periods when children are rebellious, Daddy can tolerate your little mischief.”
Mystery Man: “Okay, thank you.”
Ling ng: “Wait, who are you? Why haven’t I seen you before?”
Mystery Man: “Hello, everyone. I am ANTELOPE of Team ANIMAL. I’m just here to buy soy sauce. ‘Pale Soul OL’ is so fun, Lang-Ge is so handso.”
Ling ng: …..Director, there’s an outside station here that’s brushing a small ad.
Mystery Man: Excuse ! Slipping away.
This episode of “I’m Not Black Powder” was unsurprisingly a huge success. In one hour, the number of clicks was at record high and the barrage was also an unprecedented scene for Station B.
Under the program producer’s blog, a million people wrote letters in blood asking for Lemon Dad to be made permanent, which was also brushed by the show’s previously popular reporters.
There was also an evil force coming from the powder of Xiang God. They had never seen Xiang Jiao say so much on any show. Of course, they were determined to keep Lemon Dad who could pry open the idol’s golden mouth.
The producer also sent their thoughts secretly to Ling ng on WeChat, even boasting that there were not many talents in the Galaxy Circle like him who brought their own entertainnt value. ‘Our bottom-of-the-ratings show would have been cut off if it hadn’t been saved by Lemon Daddy.’
Ling ng:???
Ling ng’s mouth said he wouldn’t look or watch, but that night, hiding under the covers, he secretly brushed it on his phone several tis. When Shan Zhu found him in the morning, he was almost done with the barrage and the comnts.
With his slightly bloodshot eyes from staying up to watch the video, 30% hesitant, 70% sure: “I think I know what I want to do in the future.”
—
Footnotes:
1. click-through-rate (CTR, 点击率): statistic for how many people click on your videos after seeing the thumbnail out of all the people who see the thumbnail (typical for youtube is 5-10%)
2. board the pirate ship (登贼船): sign on with a dubious activity
3. the mouth lies but the body is honest (口嫌体正直): reference to a Japanese saying that your physical behavior reflects the true nature of your heart
4. Sao (嫂): term of address for elder brother’s wife, short for saozi
5. reference to a based on a news broadcast about an electric scooter being stolen, the guy who stole it touched people’s hearts when he was interviewed & said he’d rather be in prison than unemployed
6. Qianbei (前辈): older generation, senior; houbei (后辈): younger generation, junior
7. 长江后浪推前浪，前浪死在沙滩上: idiom, the new is constantly replacing the old; each new generation exceeds the previous
8. drop dead (扑街): slang, ans literally lying on the road; also slang from when a character falls to the ground dead in a ga; also Cantonese slang for damn/bastard
9. just here to buy soy sauce (打酱油): sarcastic slang, to not get involved/to keep out of other’s business
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