01-04: You Boys Play Gas Very Well
Chapter 1
“Legend of the Galaxy” was an e-sports ga that was popular across the world. This strategy ga, which included single and multiplayer battles, had been popular among young people since it was launched.
After a successful advertising push, the campus of Yanshan University was quickly swept by the “Legend of the Galaxy” heat wave and the number of players there was almost equal to the once-popular “Pale Soul OL”.
As a freshman, Ling ng had beco an Internet addict. With his excellent ga performance and strong personal style, he was successfully ranked at the bottom of the Galaxy celebrity list.
Unfortunately, his reason for being famous was basically unrelated to his excellent ga performance.
On the Galaxy celebrity list, the comnts on Lemon were written like this:
—Lemon, who has been wandering between god and star diamond ranks for a long ti, is famous for his poisonous tongue. All the players who are defeated by him receive the “Lemon Daddy Hospice Care”, from the public beta up until now with no exception.
—What they call “success belongs to the preserving” – Lemon always mocks losers, so that the majority of Galaxy players love to hate him, and so the Lemon Daddy Black Powder Club was born. So people even want to get that dying ssage so they purposefully make an effort to be defeated when playing in a match against him.
Ling ng himself didn’t have an opinion about the comnts related to his poisonous tongue. While secretly loving it, he also pretended to hate the black powder group created the other players. Every day, watching that group of “friends” make his own quotations into an expression pack to fight with each other beca one of his pleasures alongside actually playing the ga.
Today’s Poison Tongue Ling ng was still active on the front line of the “Legend of the Galaxy” battlefield.
Chapter 2
[System] After a fierce battle, the Federation has won the final victory!
[Federation] Lemon: Rember the sight of I, your Daddy’s, great lofty back, it will guide you forward on the road ahead.
[Empire] GuestA: Haha! Successful LOOT [Lemon Daddy’s Hospice Care], screenshot!
When his roommate ca back to sleep, that ssage just happened to be on the screen. The roommate, who knew Ling ng well, couldn’t understand this attitude no matter how many tis he saw it. “It’s only an opponent of yours who could be so happy to lose a match.”
Ling ng took this as a complint and, shaking out his legs, queued up his next match. He was playing his daily 1V1 speed battle challenge, which gave players a ga reward as long as they won three matches in a row.
The “ding” alert sounded. Ling ng entered the single-player interface and the impressive ID of “Mangosteen” appeared on the screen.
“Unexpectedly, you actually caught Mang God?” the roommate who was still looking at Ling ng’s computer ca up excitedly and said, “No way, how can you match up with him?”
Because of this player’s huge reputation, Mangosteen was known as the Mang God by a large amount of water friends. He was an S-class signed anchor of the Fighting Cat live platform. He conquered male powder with his superb ga skills and captured female powder with his beautiful, magnetic voice. He was a veritable king of popularity on the Galaxy celebrity list.
“Legend of the Galaxy” had only 500 spots in the highest rank of cosmic god, followed by Ling ng’s star diamond rank. Players in the range from star diamond to cosmic god rank were referred to as “Gods”. Ling ng was at the top of the star diamond. If he won 3 to 5 tis, he could ascend to God, but the god-level masters were like clouds, often beaten down after a few rounds. Mang God had long stabilized in the top 30 of the national rankings, so theoretically it was unlikely for these two people to be matched together.
“Who knows? Maybe he hasn’t played much this season.” Ling ng puffed up his cheeks like a hamster with peanuts in its mouth. His roommate has always thought that Ling ng was the most suitable to be a ga anchor, because, when he played the ga, his expressions were too rich, enough to make a whole set of expression packs.
Ling ng was randomly assigned the Empire faction and from ti to ti sent a fleet of spaceships in a harassing wave. Mang God deserved to be called Mang God, he knew his techniques like the palm of his hand. He got out of the protective cover early, easily intercepting Ling ng’s forces outside the space station. He also led stealth troops to attack Ling ng’s mining car.
Ling ng’s resources were cut off, making his developnt slow. He made one last desperate effort, putting all his eggs in one basket, but his opponent’s mothership had been waiting for this exact mont to explode the back of his chrysanthemum.
This 1V1 battle ended with a unilateral hamring of Lemon by Mang God. When the huge failure ssage appeared on the black and white screen, his roommate, who had watched the whole match, couldn’t help but rejoice in his misfortune: “Haha, show how you’ll say your backtalk this ti? I’m afraid your “Lemon Daddy” title is not safe anymore.”
“What’s the matter?” Ling ng didn’t care. “The other side is highly skilled. As a re nobody, I don’t lose face by losing to him.”
“Are you sure you’re a nobody?”
“Of course; I know that he is Mang God, does he even know who I am?”
The announcent system popped up.
[System] After a fierce battle, the Federation achieved the final victory!
As always, Ling ng pressed Enter to activate the chat box.
[Empire] Lemon: You boys play gas very well~
“What the fuck!” Once again, his roommate was shocked by Ling ng’s shaless face. “There really are brazen people like you!”
“All said, Mang God won’t commit my little ID to mory.”
Ling ng’s voice had just fallen silent when the door of the dormitory was slamd open. The student in the opposite room stumbled and ran in, leaning against the door and laughing out of breath.
“Are you in the middle of an episode of laughing epilepsy?” Ling ng asked unkindly.
The classmate pointed at him, pleased as punch: “You boys play gas very well!”
Ling ng was stunned speechless.
“You still don’t know? Just now Mang God was streaming!”
Ling ng was dumbfounded. After a few seconds, with a wail, he rushed to the opposite room. His classmate’s computer was pulled up on the live broadcast of Mang God. The number of online users up to five figures and he saw it was about to break six.
The match had only just ended. With the live picture of LOADING, the barrage was rolling wildly. Everyone was repeating the sa sentence:
“You boys play gas very well~”
“You boys play gas very well~”
“You boys play gas very well~”
At that mont, Ling ng sure had great thoughts of this Uncle Mang God. What was the value in live streaming a god-level player running to the star diamond rank to play 1V1? (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻
Chapter 3
The next day Mangosteen VS Lemon’s video hit the internet and the curious Ling ng went to Station B (Bilibili) and watched it over and over. As soon as Mang God’s voice ca out, people began to lick the screen: *lick lick lick*
“Sorry, this sester is too busy, I barely played in the qualifying tournant and I’ve only broadcasted live a few tis. I’m taking advantage of today’s free ti to do the daily challenge. However, my battle level isn’t high. I hope everyone won’t be disappointed.”
Ling ng wanted to smash the table. Although the star diamond can’t compare with the cosmic god level, it’s at least the second echelon. Many people still can’t reach this level – how could Mang God give them all the cold shoulder?
After a short wait, his own account popped up on the battle interface.
“The first round of the challenge has co out…”
Maybe it was his own imagination, but ng God laughed softly at this ti. He was wearing headphones and the other person’s voice was breathy in his ear. A chill ran over Ling ng’s entire body.
At the sa ti, the barrage also fervently rolling:
— Lemon Daddy, YOOOO~~~
— Congratulations to Mang God for flipping the naplate of my Lemon Dad!
— Obviously these two people are the sa reality, but why do I feel like a dinsional wall has shattered?
— Probably because Mang God and Lemon Daddy don’t give the feel of playing the sa ga ╮ (╯ ▽ ╰) ╭
— I’m just looking forward to Lemon’s counterattack backtalk. Want to see what he’ll say to Mang God when he wins?
— When you say the word counterattack, he’s already receiving it. (t/n: the fujo is here)
Who are these beasts? Ling ng felt that Mang God’s live stream chat was filthy to the eyes; what kind of idol did they have, what kind of fans did he have?
Mang God didn’t make any comnt on Lemon’s identity and the match started quickly.
“In daily 1V1, both sides usually try to fight a quick battle to win a quick decision. I predict that the opponent will send troops from the start.”
From Mang God’s screen perspective, Ling ng watched him skillfully locate the protective shield and upgrade his invisibility skills on the technology tree.
“Judging by his troop dispatch speed, his current resources are not enough to produce anti-stealth radar. Although I think this rank of player shouldn’t make such low-level mistakes, I can’t rule out that he has laid an ambush in the mining area to get when I rise to the bait. Let’s try it first.”
A minute later, Mang God took no pains to destroy Lemon’s mine car.
“Maybe he just wanted to give that as a present.”
The screen was flooded by the digital army and each 2 had a number of 3s after it that almost surpassed the digits of π. (see: 2333)
— As expected, those people close to poisonous words will be infected by the Poison Tongue DEBUFF.
— This is not the panicky face of Mang God that I long for!
— Lemon Dad gives gifts from a distance, it’s the thought that counts!
Unmoved, Mang God continued to narrate: “In fact, the other side has the opportunity to choose to give up on defense and fight a protracted war, but for 1V1, the profit-cost ratio is too low, it’s better to let go.”
He sent scouts, and, as he did, he found that all the fortifications had been demolished, leaving only the base and the shipyard. All the resources obtained from the destruction of the buildings had been used to replenish the troops.
Recalling the scene at the ti, step-by-step Ling ng was basically following a known strategy, but it almost seed as if the live broadcast was Ling ng’s and Mang God was stream sniping.
Mang God seed to randomly put all the troops on the front line at a whim, explaining: “People who are more aggressive with this style of play generally like to attack the front directly.”
The barrage was full of 666s.
— So it’s like this, you like to sneak attack other people’s chrysanthemums?
Mang God didn’t object to it, tacitly approving: “That depends on whose chrysanthemum it is.”
All the water friends offered a aningful “oh~~~”
Sure enough, such anchors are the pests of the Galaxy celebrity circle.
Ling ng watched as his last-ditch attempt was successfully thwarted by his opponent. At the sa ti, Mang God sent his mothership out of the encirclent and returned to his ho base without any effort. Winning couldn’t have been easier.
The barrage was full of praise, and the gifts were too nurous to all be acknowledged.
— As always, he was decisive in killing, he doesn’t understand how to have compassion at all.
— Lemon Daddy is going to call the police!
— Crooked one upstairs, 110, isn’t it?
— Now seeking Lemon Dad’s psychological shadow area.
— GET achievent: Sneak attack on Lemon Dad’s chrysanthemum [tick]
While the Imperial Base was blown to pieces, the voice of Mang God ca through the headphones: “In fact, the level of players who can reach star diamond is not low; it’s possible that this match just didn’t work out well for him.”
Ling ng scoffed in disdain, Who cares about your hypocritical respect?
— Looking forward to Lemon Dad’s dying words.
— Lemon seems to like leaving a few words? Generally if you get slapped on your butt like this, you’d run away.
— After all, he sets himself up as the enemy of the Galaxy. I’m afraid that others will rule the other side with him.
— I’m more looking forward to the last words of Mang God.
— This one who has been mocked three tis by Lemon asks Mang God for revenge!
— Injured party here, sa request as upstairs!
— 10086!
The barrage of B station suddenly surged, countless people shouting highlights ahead.
Then Ling ng saw the final words that made him want to repent and cut off his sinful hands.
[Empire] Lemon: You boys play gas very well~
Mang God seed to be stunned speechless and his voice froze for a few seconds, then he cracked up and laughed.
Chapter 4
What had happened next could be predicted, so Ling ng closed the video in a hopeless mood.
Overnight, Ling ng enjoyed a great surge in popularity:
On Weibo, the fans uniformly replied in the comnts: You boys play gas very well~
At the top of the web forum, where it was rare to get an answer to a beginner’s question, the thread was stacked with hundreds of posts: You boys play gas very well~
In the black powder group, bubbles were raising to the surface, the expression pack was infinitely 1: You boys play gas well~
Even on the Yanshan campus network BBS, he was ridiculed in posts: You boys play gas very well~
Ling ng was barraged by this sentence no matter where he went. He had no grievance against Mang God, but he was buried alive by the strength of this wave.
The awful thing was that this sentence was what Ling ng himself said. The pot couldn’t be thrown to Mang God, he could only carry it himself with tears in his eyes.
(t/n: this is talking about a saying to throw a black pot to soone’s back – to toss the bla/consequences onto another person instead of bearing them yourself)
During that ti, his roommate always heard him singing in the wind on the balcony in the middle of the night: “Steel pot, crying through tears, repair the steel pot…”
(t/n: he’s singing )
After so ti, the storm finally faded. Although Ling ng still received the sa comnts under each Weibo post and it was still pinned as a hot topic, Ling ng cultivated the mindset of “out of sight, out of mind”.
On the last day of the season, Ling ng needed to win just one more ga to earn a season dal. Unexpectedly, he found it truly was a small world where you couldn’t avoid your enemy. Once again, he had randomly matched with Mang God.
Ling ng felt he really had bad luck. Isn’t he a big God? Why is he always at this level? Does this food abuse make him feel strong?
He had one thing to ask before the match began.
[Federation] Lemon: Are you broadcasting live?
[Empire] Mangosteen: Take a guess?
Ling ng puckered his mouth and stuck his middle finger up at the monitor, regardless of the fact that the other side couldn’t see it.
The second round of their confrontation, Ling ng once again suffered a disastrous defeat, probably due to his anxiousness to win. Grasp all, lose all. Instead, the other side ambushed him.
It’s known that the cold Mang God, who rarely speaks in the ga, rarely leaves hospice care.
[Empire] Mangosteen: We boys play gas so fiercely.
In anger, Ling ng threw his keyboard.
——
Footnotes
1. black powder (黑粉): fans (powder) who love to hate their idol
2. water friend: audience for anchor in streaming
3. flipping the na plate (翻牌): illusion to emperors historically flipping the na plates of consorts to select who would serve them at night; slang for being selected to interact with an idol/famous person
4. 斗猫直播平台: Fighting Cat live platform, I’m assuming this is fictional
5. 2333: laughter, like lol, more 3s an more laughter
6. stream sniping: spying on a live stream in order to cheat and beat the strear
7. 666: liuliuliu, expresses admiration for plays that are skilled/smooth – a way to applaud in a live stream (can also be sarcastic for bad plays)
8. chrysanthemum: slang for butthole (hopefully you know this one already lol)
9. crooked: saying the comnt above is twisted/delusional
10. seeking a psychological shadow area (求心理阴影面积): internet phrase, wanting to calculate emotional/psychological trauma that soone just suffered
11. copper ball (铜球): seeking sa, homophone 同求 (sa request)
12. bubbles rising to the surface (冒泡): making remarks online/chatting as opposed to reading but not comnting (diving, 潜水)
13. highlights ahead (前方高能): internet slang, warns readers/viewers to pay attention to what cos next
14. food abuse (虐菜): bullying rookies/lower ranked players in a ga
15. Grasp all, lose all (贪多必失): greed leads to defeat
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