Capítulo 1151: Chapter 1151: Always Call Ho, Whether There’s Sothing or Not
“Sorry, the War God is off duty.”
The girl nad Eva tilted her head and gave Sandora and a pure and innocent smile—a smile that could only naturally appear on soone like a “Holy Girl” who grew up in the Church District, almost never experiencing the mundane world. Although what she said might be strange, Eva’s expression remained serious when she ntioned “the War God is off duty,” as if she saw nothing incongruous about it. Even Mr. Lei beside her wore a completely normal expression, with only a slight hint of regret.
A system notification ringing during prayer, the War God having off-duty hours, reading specific chapters of the Bible to leave a voicemail for God… All things I would find laughably bizarre, yet for Eva and Lei, these were completely unremarkable.
Sandora and I exchanged a glance, half-amused, and I quickly figured out why: because they were used to it.
What made find these things laughable was that all the information I had encountered about gods since childhood described them as serious, rigid, and ticulous. Sandora found it laughable because she knew more gods, and most of them definitely weren’t as erratic as 123. However, Eva and Lei had none of these preconceptions. From birth, Yelsen had been the god of this world (I recall hearing earlier that 123 descended here over a thousand years ago). Not only their generation but even several generations before them had the sa impression of the War God, and so this way of thinking persisted. Locals had co to see “the War God sotis being offline” and “being able to leave a voicemail for God by reading Chapter 2, Verse 6 of the Bible” as entirely normal, akin to natural phenona. It didn’t affect their impression of God at all—quite the opposite. Their impression of God was precisely this.
It’s like how followers of the Life God Sect would automatically include their na and address after praying…
“Ah, the War God’s off duty…” I gazed at 123’s statue, speaking in an ethereal tone, then suddenly asked, “Wait a minute, weren’t you just praying about the alien spaceship appearing on Azure Star? You could contact him then?”
“Well, about an hour ago, I could indeed contact him. Perhaps the War God suddenly had sothing to attend to, so he’s not responding… God once told that his power keeps him from making mistakes; thus, he would never overlook truly important matters. But if it’s not that important, prayers might not get through… That’s about it,” Eva said crisply, candidly expressing her thoughts without any hint of euphemism. Hearing her, I smiled broadly: Oh, oh, not important matters, huh? So 123, are you using your divine power for an automatic system response?
Moreover, that scatterbrained fellow, soone already reported that an alien fleet appeared on their planet! With the landlord missing, didn’t he think of anything at all? Just as Monina said, besides being good at fighting, Yelsen’s only other rit was not being picky about food?
I silently critiqued that slacker from head to toe, then looked up and smiled gently at Eva: “So, Eva, is it? We have another question: If it’s truly crucial and important, and your god doesn’t hear the prayer in ti, how would you solve it? I an, suppose that scenario happens, don’t you have any way to reach God?”
I wanted to understand exactly how 123, who sneaks out during work hours, left himself a backup plan.
“Are you talking about ergency contact thods with God in special situations?” Eva widened her eyes. “There is indeed a thod, but nothing urgent is happening right now, right? If we hold such a ceremony just for an experint, even if God doesn’t bla us, it isn’t sothing believers should do lightly: it would disturb God greatly.”
I knew she would answer like this, unlike . I long stopped viewing 123 and the Tiaozi Five as gods—at ho, they’re rely freeloaders, eating, drinking, and crashing at our place. Other than Monina, who helps with cooking, and Uncle Kenser, who’s harmless, the remaining three are troublemakers, one more than the other. How could I put them in the sa category as gods? But to Eva, her War God was supre, powerful, wise, benevolent, and just. She probably attributed every positive term humans created for males to her War God. In professional terms, she’s a huge fan of 123. Asking her to send a spam ssage to her god just to satisfy a bunch of aliens’ curiosity was utterly impossible.
Nevertheless, after so rigorous persuasion by Sandora and , Mr. Lei showed a bit of flexibility.
Our reasoning was this: To deepen the understanding between two different civilizations, it’s vital to start by understanding each other’s religious components. If Eva is willing to connect with her War God in our presence, we’ll leave our religious texts for the residents of Azure Star (I have a lot of Dingdang Bibles in my Personal Space). Furthermore, if their War God demonstrates enough appeal before us, perhaps the future Fifth Fleet will include believers of the War God—while the initial points had a mild attraction for Mr. Lei, the last one was a temptation no devout follower could resist. So, the old man was imdiately tempted.
And since the Fifth Fleet wouldn’t remain on this planet for long—perhaps leaving in a few days—the opportunities to showcase the War God’s power before Sandora and were limited. Who knows when the War God would clock in next… Mr. Lei didn’t want to miss this chance, so he decisively nodded at Eva: “Give it a try; the divine will understand. It’s for spreading the truth.”
Eva looked at her grandfather, then at us, and softly bowed her head to pray. Under our curious gaze, she removed the gold crown from her head, took off the Bible slung across her body, carefully stored these two Holy War Relics in a small compartnt behind the pulpit, and rummaged through the hidden compartnt to bring out a bunch of strange items.
And then ca the mont to witness a miracle. She removed the golden small sword from the altar and replaced it with a black eye-like emblem. Then she solemnly donned a black Princess Crown and took out a dubious red liquid to apply on her lips, instantly transforming her aura from a Holy Girl to a Cult Priest. Next, she took a remote control from her pocket and pressed it lightly.
With a rumbling noise, the War God statue behind the pulpit descended, replaced by a new divine statue rising with a tremor. This statue, about the sa size as the War God statue and equally lifelike, depicted a beautiful maiden of imposing dignity. Surrounded by clouds that were obviously unnatural, the statue exuded an eerie yet awe-inspiring presence—though not malevolent, it filled one with reverence. The maiden statue wielded a black short sword in one hand and held a shovel in the other… A divine restoration!
This world must not have shovels, I thought…
I knew this girl, though the face I rembered wasn’t as cold and stiff as the statue’s but often wore a mischievous smirk or a smug grin after causing trouble. Her ability to spend money was unmatched among the Tiaozi Five, except for Bingdisi right behind her…
Once the new statue was fully revealed, Eva began a new prayer ritual, different from the previous prayers—the Bible she held was now a large book with a black cover, also taken from the hidden compartnt behind the pulpit.
: “…”
I finally understood the backup plan…
A mont later, after completing the prayer, Eva made a listening gesture and then said to us: “The god should have heard it now; there will be a response soon. I hope you can make God feel that this unexpected disturbance is valuable.”
I pulled my mouth into an expression that soone wouldn’t know was a grin or a grimace, pointing at Monina’s statue behind us: “Is this your backup plan? Letting the War God’s sister answer the calls when he’s off duty?”
“How do you know the Shadow God is the War God’s sister?” Eva imdiately picked up on sothing and looked at , then broke into an excited smile. “Ah! Could it be that the god of your world is the Shadow God?! Oh, my lord, this is wonderful. It seems these aliens and we are lucky to be under the sa glorious presence… I can’t imagine how delighted the Shadow God will be to hear your voices from this world…”
No, I think she’d be startled and would probably beat 123 black and blue before Sandora and I get ho.
Just then, a thought struck , and I had a dreadful premonition, so I quickly asked: “Then I have a follow-up question—if Mo… if the Shadow God didn’t hear your prayers either, then…”
“Gods are wise.” With a happy expression on her face, Yina handed the remote control she was holding. I took it and imdiately felt a bit shaky: five buttons were neatly arranged on it. The first button had a golden giant sword marked beside it, the second had a black short knife, the third had a golden sun, the fourth had a nacing giant dragon, and the fifth had a mosquito.
… I think the fifth was supposed to be a dragonfly, but there wasn’t enough space—or maybe this world doesn’t have dragonflies, so the creator of the remote couldn’t imagine one.
I nudged Sandora’s arm: “Bringing this thing to the Divine Realm would be enough to get those five locked up forever.”
“… I’m afraid it won’t work,” Sandora said, smiling wryly and shaking her head (it’s not easy for the Queen to show such an expression), “Them brazenly swapping posts suggests this might be within the rules… But I know so many gods, and the group of guys under Dingdang really is an unprecedented combination.”
Yeah, what kind of purpose did the Senior God who initially organized the Dingdang Team have in mind to gather these five rare troublemakers together? Just collecting them and turning them into a team must hold so huge grudges against the world.
It was at this mont that Eva’s prayers were finally answered, and I felt the atmosphere in the chapel suddenly change. A certain familiar aura instantly filled the space—it was as if a certain chef was really here and everywhere at the sa ti. Although Sandora and I were quite familiar with the aura and didn’t feel much, Eva and Mr. Lei knelt before the Divine Statue without a prompt, reciting sothing quietly and piously. Monts later, a voice rang out from all directions—even giving the impression it echoed inside one’s mind: “Eva, I’ve heard your call, you have—oh, it’s burning—uh, what do you need?”
Sandora looked over with watery eyes, clutching my hand tightly: looks like they’ve started cooking at ho.
Even after hearing the strange content mixed into the “words of God,” Eva and Mr. Lei remained calm, as if “oh, it’s burning” was sothing this world had been used to for millennia. Holding the Bible, Eva respectfully said: “God, our world has welcod visitors from a distant Otherworld, they…”
“Ahem, it’s .” Unable to remain silent any longer, I interrupted Eva.
Perhaps it was an illusion, but as soon as I spoke, I heard a strange clatter of pots and pans from an eerie place, and Monina’s previously majestic voice suddenly collapsed, becoming her usual quirky and chatty tone: “Ah! Chen? Why is it you?”
Eva and Mr. Lei were stunned into silence, almost jumping up as if shocked, and I suddenly realized that Monina and I shouldn’t have greeted each other so quickly. Perhaps Monina also realized this (or maybe she could see what was happening here), but fortunately, she was as witty as ever. She imdiately switched back to her imposing tone, telling her brother’s followers: “Eva, I need to speak with the friend you brought. Now leave the chapel, close the door, and allow no one to enter.”
Eva seed full of curiosity, but she faithfully fulfilled her duty to obey the deity, leaving the main hall with her grandfather, full of questions and confusion. After the chapel doors closed with a “bang,” I breathed a sigh of relief: “Alright, they’ve gone.”
“Oh, now we can talk,” Monina’s voice this ti ca from the direction of the Divine Statue rather than from all directions, “You… Are you in the world my brother manages? What’s going on?”
“Looks like the fleet jumped here from the start,” I said, pulling Sandora to a nearby cushion to sit down and chat with Monina, “What about your brother? How did he drop the ball at such a crucial mont?”
“My brother went out chasing girls,” Monina haphazardly lied—I knew Yelsen was probably not ho, most likely being dragged by Uncle Kenser to feed birds in a nearby park’s bird, “I’ll beat him up when he gets back. He said he got a report from a believer and put it aside since the warning system didn’t react—he didn’t even say what it was about. Who would have thought he’d be so brainless? That report was probably about you guys, right?”
“Ah, exactly.” I recounted my experiences over on this side in detail. You really couldn’t deny it, the difference between having a communication system and not having one was massive. Even though I managed to establish a forced link with Lin Xue, the conversations seed to have a bit of delay and the audio quality wasn’t great. But through the Divine Clan’s direct channel, the communication quality shot up, allowing to even hear the clattering on the other side and Little Baobao’s cries as he barged into the kitchen…
Wait, why would there consistently be background noise in what should theoretically be a direct ntal link?
“Oh, I’m cooking right now, using the ntal link could lead to more burnt food, so I’m using the managent terminal’s speakers,” Monina naturally explained. Imdiately an image sprang to mind: in a mortal chapel, nurous believers were praying devoutly, listening to God’s teachings, while in the Divine Realm, their god was wearing an apron, bustling around the stove, cooking while discussing truths with the followers, an iPad sitting on the cupboard before her eyes…
Suddenly, it felt rather exciting to accept such a setup!
“Alright, finished the work here,” Monina announced, accompanied by the sound of a spatula and Little Baobao protesting about being picked up after sneaking a bite, “Phew, that’s great news, finally knowing where you are, you’ll be back soon—the folks here were worried sick… Anwina, we’re running low on soy sauce!”
Anwina’s ethereal voice sounded as though from a distance away (the kitchen at ho was indeed very large): “Oh, got it, Little dwen already went out to buy so—hmm, who were you talking to just now?”
“Your master, oh.”
Monina’s statent barely ended before I started counting down from three, and before I finished, a chaotic clattering of pots and pans erupted as expected. The Ghost Maid’s voice bood through the chapel: “Master?! Master!! You contacted the master!? Master, where are you? Are you hurt? Is the mistress with you? Are you okay? Have you eaten dinner? I heard the master was trapped in the Otherworld, are you really alright? No enemies there, right? By the way, master, tonight for dinner…”
“Stop it!” I shouted hastily to cut Anwina off, glancing at the Queen beside who was already glowing with green eyes, “Sandora is still hungry, don’t ntion such tempting stuff. Sandora, just hold on, we’ll have dinner later…”
Sandora smacked her lips: “But Ah Jun, I’m really hungry… Why don’t we just go straight ho now? We already know which world it is, teleporting back should be no problem, right?”
I thought about it and agreed, it seed there really was no problem returning now: the only thing hindering the fleet’s location had been resolved once we confird this world’s Guardian God. But just as I was thinking this, another voice suddenly filled the chapel:
“Wood, I’m afraid you can’t leave that world just yet…”
It was Miss Mo, did she co out of the coffin? (To be continued. If you enjoy this work, please feel free to visit Qidian (qidian) to vote for recomndations and monthly tickets, your support is my greatest motivator.)
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