Chu Yun didn't realise he had been crying until he felt Xiao Zai's thumbs on his cheeks, brushing away his tears.
His chest heaved with pent up emotion. Chu Yun had kept that terrible, fiery, night to himself all these years, but now that he had told it to Xiao Zai part of him felt as if he was back there, his tongue rough with a layer of ash.
It took so ti, under Xiao Zai's gentle touch, for his breathing to return to normal.
Xiao Zai pulled him into his arms, wrapping him tightly in his embrace as if trying to shield him from the horror of his past.
"Thank you for telling that," he said, brushing the words against the top of Chu Yun's wet hair. Then, slowly, he added, "and I'm sorry."
Chu Yun let out a shuddering breath, but finally, that band of tightness released from around his chest. As did so weight he had been carrying all these years without noticing. When he closed his eyes and let himself slump into Xiao Zai's chest he felt a relief so deep it made him shudder.
"That day remains my greatest sha," he said, finding his voice more steady now that he had gone through the whole tale. "For years after, I would try to put it out of my mind, and I would succeed for long periods, but then, the most innocuous of things would bring about those mories."
Xiao Zai trailed his fingers through Chu Yun's back, and asked, "Does fire scare you?"
Chu Yun let out a mirthless chuckle. "No, that is the worst part."
Xiao Zai looked down at him in confusion.
Chu Yun cupped Xiao Zai's sharp jaw and smiled sadly.
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"If I knew what would bring up the mories I could avoid them. But not fire, nor blood, remind of that night. Sotis I'll hear cicadas sing and I'll be brought there. Even though it would be almost impossible to hear cicadas over the roaring of the fire. But sohow, my mind makes the connections for , and I'm powerless to stop it."
Xiao Zai's fingers tightened briefly on Chu Yun's skin, but he didn't look at him, as he said, "I know what you an. Sotis, I'll be going through correspondence in the office, sothing I never did until I beca King, and I'll hear my father's voice as surely as if he were standing over my shoulder."
"You've never told that."
Now it was Xiao Zai's turn to smile sadly down at Chu Yun. "I didn't want to burden you with it." He looked away towards the courtyard they could see just outside the royal baths, and his expression grew lighter. "Besides, even when he was alive, the bad mories beca less frequent ever since we t."
Chu Yun hid his sheepish grin against Xiao Zai's wet chest. "For as well. Ever since I t you I think my mind has been too filled up with you to rember that night as often."
Slowly, Xiao Zai took Chu Yun's hand in his and kissed his fingers. "I hope we'll always keep each other's nightmares at bay."
Looping one arm around Xiao Zai's neck, Chu Yun pulled him down into a kiss. "I know we will," he whispered against his lips, once they broke apart.
"You know, when we t I thought you were arrogant," Xiao Zai said, chuckling fondly.
A corner of Chu Yun's mouth twisted up. "I have been called that by much lesser n than you."
Xiao Zai shot him an amused look. "Lesser n shouldn't have an opinion about you."
Chu Yun grinned. Using his grip on Xiao Zai's neck he lifted himself into his lap, sitting astride his thighs. "I only care about your opinion of ."
Sothing shifted in Xiao Zai's gaze. The warmth in his dark eyes went from tender to smouldering, and his hands ca up to grip Chu Yun's waist.
"My opinion of you grows higher each day," Xiao Zai said evenly, and although his words were steady, underwater his touches were growing bold. "I said that I thought you were arrogant because now I know I was wrong."
Chu Yun scowled, in good humour. "I think I am a little arrogant," he said, and shifted around in Xiao Zai's lap, expecting that his movents would elicit a response. When he felt Xiao Zai stiffen against him he smirked -- demonstrating his arrogance.
Xiao Zai's pulled him down against his lap with a hiss, in opposition to the water's buoyancy. Their eyes t, and Chu Yun knew without speaking that they were thinking the sa thing.
It had been too long.
Except this ti, they weren't going to be interrupted. The twins were in their room, with servants to look after them, and any crying wouldn't reach them in the royal baths.
"It's only arrogance if you have nothing to sustain it on," Xiao Zai said, one of his hands drifting from the small of Chu Yun's back to the swell of his ass.
Chu Yun rocked forward against Xiao Zai's hard abdon, teasing himself. "Then what am I?"
Xiao Zai's other hand slid up Chu Yun's chest, tickling a nipple on the way, and curled up in his hair, tightening the length of it around a fist. "Most of the ti, I just think you're right," he said with a smirk.
Chu Yun hissed at the sting of having his hair pulled. "And the rest of the ti?"
Xiao Zai licked his lower lip with a flash of sharp canines. The air in the baths was growing heavy with the combined scents of wolfberry wine and orchids and pine.
"The rest of the ti I think that even if you hadn't been right about a single thing in your life, I would still indulge you because haughtiness looks beautiful on you."
Chu Yun rutted forward with a gasp. His grip shifted from Xiao Zai's shoulders to his neck. He squeezed lightly. "Careful. Puppy is working up to a spanking."
Xiao Zai's eyes flashed. "It's been a long ti since alpha has disciplined ."
His words made Chu Yun burn with lust. He pulled Xiao Zai into a violent, ssy kiss. His thoughts were running wild. Along with all the things he imagined doing to Xiao Zai, and being done to him in turn, the image of Xiao Zai's sharp canines sinking into his nape took the most space in his mind.
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