After the eting with his majesty, I asked Father if he could allow to work in the Foundation today. I want to get my mind off with the current happenings in the monarchy. That's why I am trying to drown myself with work. However, it looks like my plan isn't working at all. I still couldn't help but think about what Prince Fraser told earlier.
"Da Csille, are you okay? You seem preoccupied? Why don't you take a rest first?"
I was startled when I heard Lilla's voice. I look up and find her standing in the doorway with a worried expression on her face. I was probably too preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn't even notice that soone had opened the door.
I smile at her reassuringly. "I'm okay. I'm sorry for making you worry, Lilla. I was just thinking about sothing." I frowned when I noticed Lilla's uneasiness. "Is there sothing wrong, Lilla?"
Lilla closes the door first and walks toward before she answers my question. "Da Csille, his highness is here to talk to you."
I frown. His highness? Don't tell Prince Fraser is here to talk about my suggestions again? Is he here to convince to change my decision? So his majesty would choose to comply with the Aeslaerean's demands.
I heave a sigh. "Tell Prince Fraser that I am busy and I don't have any spare ti to give to him. Next ti don't-"
I couldn't continue what I wanted to say because Lilla interrupted . She shakes her head repeatedly. She even waves her hand as a sign of disagreent. "No, Da Csille. It's not Prince Fraser. I'm sorry if I didn't ntion the na. I was just too anxious when I saw him." I frown. If it's not Prince Fraser, then who is this his highness she is talking about?
"It's his highness, Prince Rufus. He said he wants to talk to you about sothing important. Should I let him in? I know you are avoiding Prince Rufus these days, so I told him I would check first if you have ti. I can drive him away if you don't want to talk to him."
Rufus? What is he doing here? Will he scold the sa way Prince Fraser did? Also, doesn't he have enough for what I did and said to him the last ti he visited ?
What does he want? I'm tired. I don't want to say those hurtful words to him again.
"Da Csille?"
I looked at Lilla and heaved a sigh. If I decide based on what I feel, I won't hesitate to talk to him. However, things are different now. I need to distance myself from the royal family.
"Lilla, can you tell him I am busy. Also, if anyone from the Astalieu tries to talk to again, tell them I am busy, and I don't have ti to—"
I wasn't able to finish what I wanted to say because soone suddenly spoke. Lilla and I almost jump because of that voice.
"You are really cutting off our friendship just because your engagent with my cousin got canceled? Am I really nothing to you, Csille?"
I look up and find Rufus standing in the doorway. My heart breaks when I see the hurt expression on his face.
I have hurt him again.
He laughs sadly. "Csille, how can you throw away our friendship like that? Why do you need to do that? I am not Prince Fraser, so why does our relationship need to suffer too?"
I heave a sigh and look at Lilla, who is currently bowing her head as much as possible. She knows this conversation is not ant for her ears, but it will be rude of her not to greet Rufus first.
I wave my hand at Lilla. "You are dismissed, Lilla. Also, can you tell anyone that I will be busy and no one should interrupt us?"
Lilla turns her head at . She looks like she is about to cry already. I just don't know if it's because she was relieved that I found her a way out or because she feels burdened for hearing what she shouldn't hear.
"I will, Da Csille. Don't worry. I will make sure no one will bother you and his highness." Lilla then looks at Prince Rufus and does a curtsy. "I will be leaving, your highness. Please excuse ."
After receiving a nod from Rufus, Lilla imdiately rushes towards the door. She looks like she is in a race right now.
"Csille."
I look at Rufus and gesture my hand at the vacant seat in front of my table. "Please, sit, your highness. Do you want tea? I can brew so for you?"
I was trying to be hospitable to him, just like how I act when soone visits in my office. However, it seed like Rufus didn't like my behavior because his frown deepened.
"Csille, can you stop all these acts? It's not funny anymore. I don't like it. Can we just go back to our old selves?"
I frown and shake my head. "Your highness, I am not acting. I don't understand why you are saying those things. Did I ever do sothing that made you think like that?"
Rufus scoff. "You are seriously asking that question? Ever since I woke up, you have changed into a different person. It's as if the Csille I have known for so long disappeared all of a sudden." He gestures his hand to . "And this? This is not how you treat . You never address as your highness or Prince Rufus. So, can you please stop it? Let's go back to how we used to be, Csille. I have missed you, purplany."
Every word Rufus's said was like a dagger to my heart. I almost ran to him and hugged him when I heard him call purplany again.
I miss him too. I miss him so much that I want to break from the script, just this once. But I know I couldn't do that. I couldn't be selfish anymore.
I have made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I don't want t repeat that again. I don't want anyone to die because of again.
So, even if my heart is currently breaking for hurting Rufus, I don't have a choice but to act cold. To act like it didn't bother if I saw him hurting.
I just stare at Rufus. Making sure he would see my cold eyes. I want him to see that the old Csille will never co back and that I have already changed. So, he would stop coming back to
.
I don't want to hurt him anymore. I don't want to see him in pain because of . Rufus is the only person who is always there to support , and I couldn't bear to see him hurt like this. I'm sorry, Rufus. I'm sorry for cutting my relationship with you. I don't have a choice. "Your highness, did you co here just to talk about this? I'm sorry to say this, but I don't have ti for this." I gestured my hands to the pile of docunts on my table. "I have work to do. So, if you don't have other things to say. Can we just talk about this so other ti?"
I was startled when Rufus suddenly stood up and slamd my table with his two hands. He then leans his head towards . "Csille, why can't you answer ? Why are you avoiding like this? Do you hate ?"
I admit I was startled by his sudden outburst. So, I just stared at him for a couple of seconds. He probably saw my reaction because he imdiately sat back in his seat. "I'm sorry, I didn't
an to scare you off. I just..." He heaves a sigh and shakes his head.
He looks so frustrated right now, and I feel bad for making him feel like that.
"I don't hate you, Rufus, and I will never will."
He imdiately looked up at when he heard what I said. I initially plan not to say anything and drive him off, but I couldn't stop myself.
"But why are you doing all of this, Csille? Is it because Prince Fraser breaks off your engagent with him? Is that the reading why you are distancing yourself even to ? But I am different than my cousin? Why does our relationship need to suffer for sothing I didn't
do?"
I shake my head. This is not about Prince Fraser. This is about your safety, Rufus. If people see that I am still friends with you, there is a big chance that you might get involved with Csille's future. And I cannot let that happen to him. That's why I need to cut off my friendship with him as early as possible.
"You don't understand, Rufus. I am no longer Prince Fraser's fiancée. That ans I will never
be part of the royal family. It will be rude of if I continue to address you the way I did before. So, I hope you can understand. I am only doing things that I should have done ever
since."
Rufus stares directly into my eyes. He is probably making sure it what I am saying is true or
not.
"But if that is the case, why are you avoiding ? Why don't you want to see anymore?"
I smile sadly at him. "That is because things are different now, Rufus. I am no longer engaged with anyone. It will be an issue if I remain close to you. People don't mind if I am close with you before because they know that I am engaged with Prince Fraser. But everything changes when Prince Fraser breaks the engagent off. I cannot be close to you anymore, Rufus. I don't want anyone to say sothing bad to you or . So, for everyone's safety. Let's just keep our distance from each other."
Even if my heart is saying no, I don't have a choice. I need to distance myself from him. I need to make it clear to him that remaining friends with him will only put the two of us in trouble.
So, he would stop coming here again and again.
"But, Csille..."
I shake my head at him. "I'm sorry, your highness, but I have already made my decision. Why don't you just spend your ti pursuing the loved of your life? Wouldn't that be better?" Rufus stares at for a couple of tis before he laughs sadly. "I thought we would remain friends for all of our lives, but I guess I was wrong. It's all Prince Fraser's fault. If he only decided not to-"
I shake my head and interrupt his words. "Prince Rufus, let's not bla anyone here. Just like you, he just falls in love with a person. I was just unlucky because that person isn't ." I
smile sadly at him.
Rufus tried to touch my hand, but I imdiately moved it away from him.
He then laughs, but it's not the happy kind of laugh. "So, that's it? We are going to end our friendship like that? Csille, we have been friends most of our lives. Why do you need to think about what will other people think about us?"
Why can't this Prince understand that I am doing this for his own good?
I heave a sigh and shake my head. "You don't understand, Prince Rufus. Unlike you, you have
a lot of choices when it cos to marriage, but not . My failed engagent with Prince Fraser had a negative effect on my future marriage. I cannot be involved with any other issues again. So, if you still see as your friend, you will distance yourself away from . The question is, do you still see as your friend?"
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