Why Are You Becoming a Villain Again? Chapter 114

Will the families gather under my banner? I asked Grandma, sounding almost as if lanting.

They were loyal to Asena, not to , I said as I looked down at the docunts.

The next families listed were not those who originally pledged allegiance to Prysters, but those Asena had brought under her power.

It was astonishing to see the power she had amassed over the years since she beca the family head... but at the sa ti, it was unsettling.

With Asena in such a condition, it all seed futile now.

Grandma said, They will all co together. The alliance Asena built is stronger than you think.

.......

It was all so new and awkward, handling the family heads responsibilities for the first ti. Nothing felt certain, and I was filled with unease. The thought that the lives of hundreds, perhaps thousands might depend on my choices only added to that feeling.

To reassure , my Grandma continued, .....They have to co together. The families loyal to us are bound by interests... but theres a bigger factor.

.....?

You might not realize it, being so kind. And since Asena never showed this side in front of you, youre even less likely to know.

Grandma then looked at with a faintly proud smile.

Everyone is afraid of Asena. She never showed her emotions, so the allied and subordinate families were always on their toes, not knowing what pleased or angered her. And with the clear justification of war, they wouldnt dare not support us... for fear of her retribution. Do you understand how significant this is?

I was slightly surprised by what she revealed, but it quickly made sense. It was just like her, the villainess, to inspire such fear.

Did she read my expression? Grandma continued, You think its wrong?

What? No, I havent thought that.

Hmm. So, are you surprised that Asena gained control of the families through force? But dont worry too much. Asena treats her subordinate families well. Enough, Id say. She just mixed in a little fear into the process. Effective governance needs the power of fear, after all.

I dont doubt the alliances Asena has built. My doubts are about myself. Even as a stand-in head... as a commoner and as soone who was exiled from the family, I wonder how they will see . Perhaps the families will turn their backs on for Asenas sake, especially since the perception that Asena doesnt like is so widespread.

Worrying about this is pointless. Just finish writing that letter. We have many missives to send out today.

-Tap tap tap tap!

Suddenly, rough footsteps from outside caught my and Grandmas attention.

Then ca hurried knocks.

-Knock knock knock knock!

Lady Liana, Lord Cayden! Its Helen!

At her urgent voice, I said, Co in.

-Creak.

As Helen opened the door and imdiately saw our faces, she exclaid, Lady Asena has woken up...!

****

Asena awoke to a familiar scent. As her eyes opened, the servant tending to her panicked and started shouting, but she didnt hear any of it.

She just lay there, thinking.

So, I havent died after all.

She even felt more invigorated than before she fell asleep, almost delusionally so. And the realization that she had recovered disgusted her.

She had no idea how much ti had passed.

All she knew was that she had been lost in a deep sleep for a very long ti.

She dread of nothing, not even Cayden, but she could feel the passage of ti... It had been an age since she last opened her eyes.

With the servant running out in alarm, she was left alone in the room.

Looking around, she quickly identified the familiar scent that had awakened her.

It was Caydens scent. This was his room, his bed.

And as she realized she was in his room, the harsh reality hit her Cayden leaving wasnt just a nightmare.

She had lain in his bed out of longing for him.

Though she had repeatedly declared out loud, holding on to the hope that he was alive, deep down she had accepted that he was gone.

He was dead because of her commands, her selfishness.

Asena reached out to the spot where Cayden always lay. It felt as if he was still there, lingering.

Unaware, tears began to stream down her face.

She wasnt fully lucid, having just woken from a long sleep... but the pain in her heart was as acute as the reality of his departure.

....Oppa...

Her voice, weak and broken, searched for him. As soon as she awoke, she looked for him.

Then, all strength drained from her body. She couldnt - no, she didnt want to endure this reality.

Her eyes began to close again.

....Sena..!

Was it a hallucination? The voice of Cayden she so longed to hear echoed in her ears. Asena let out an exhausted smile, then gradually began to lose consciousness.

Being able to hear his voice one last ti was enough for her.

Asena!

At the sound of her na, unmistakably heard a second ti, Asenas heart clenched painfully in shock.

Her listless eyes snapped open, scanning her surroundings.

And there he was, standing right before her.

Wrapped in bandages covering various wounds, he was breathing heavily, staring intensely at her.

For Asena, it felt as if the world had stopped.

She couldnt even breathe.

Even when she blinked, trying to gather her senses to discern if it was a dream...

He was still there, standing.

.....Can you hear now...? He spoke.

Asenas shoulders started to tremble violently.

She couldnt respond. She couldnt even make a sound.

Instead, she just cried.

Covering her face with her hands, she stifled her sobs and wept profusely.

She felt she had no right to make a sound, no right to cry.

But her tears wouldnt stop... she could only cover her face like this.

She couldnt hold back her tears. Regardless of who saw her, no matter how much her shoulders shook, she kept crying endlessly.

She heard Cayden approaching.

For the first ti, she restrained her instinct to want him.

She wanted to throw herself into his arms, wrap her arms tightly around his neck, press her body against his, and feel his warmth.

But she couldnt. She couldnt be so shaless towards him, the man she had almost killed with her own hands.

Cayden might already hate her.

Asena had nothing to say in defense.

So even though the man she thought was dead had returned, Asena couldnt bear to look at him, let alone touch him.

The more intense her tears beca, the harder it was to hold back her sobs.

Dizziness began to set in. Her head was spinning.

For a mont, she wondered if her glimpse of Cayden was just a fignt of her imagination.

Maybe all of this was just a hallucination of her deranged mind.

As evidence, she heard no sound from Cayden, who should have been beside her.

Yet her tears wouldnt stop.

She couldnt remove her hands from her face. She couldnt bear to look at him.

She felt vile, and at the sa ti, feared that he might hate her enough to wish her dead... She couldnt make any move.

-Creak... Thud.

She faintly heard the door closing.

Had he left her there? Or, as she had feared earlier, was everything just an illusion?

Then, sothing touched Asenas head.

She flinched at the contact but... she knew imdiately what it was.

It was a touch too familiar.

....Stop.

His voice said.

Only then did Asena realize what the sound of the door closing ant.

It was Cayden sending all the servants away, so that she could return to her true self, alone with him.

Asena couldnt hold back any longer.

She removed her hands and, following the direction of his voice, flung her arms out.

Her face collided with a familiar texture, and her arms grasped the man she had longed for.

Asena continued to sob, her shoulders heaving, tears flowing.

She prayed fervently that this wasnt a dream. If it were, and if Caydens death was reality, she knew she couldnt endure the disparity.

If this were a dream, she would rather die as soon as she woke up.

...Sorry...sob... I just need to be like this for a mont, Oppa...

He didnt complain. His hand stroked her head.

With each touch, Asena felt his presence beco more real, more tangible.

****

Ti passed.

Eventually, her tears subsided.

But her arms didnt loosen their grip. With her head buried in , she didnt move at all.

Whenever I thought she might be asleep, shed tighten her arms around , as if to confirm my existence.

The Asena who said she only needed a mont seed to have forgotten it already. No matter how long I waited, she wouldnt let go.

As relieved as I was that she hadnt died and had woken up, I had been patient with her behavior. But now, it seed like it was ti to end this.

Otherwise, it felt like she might never let go.

....Asena, let go now.

She didnt argue, a stark contrast to the tis when she would be stubborn when we were alone.

Just as Keirsey had changed, so had Asena.

She lifted her head to look up at .

This was the first ti we had made eye contact since she woke up.

Her swollen eyes t mine, and she struggled to hold back tears again.

As she cald her tears, I began to say what I had long wanted to say.

.....You just woke up, so well talk later... but I was angry at you, Asena.

.......

Just because you thought I was dead... you cant act like this...

I grit my teeth, suppressing the urge to lecture her even more right then.

Okay, I wont continue scoldingFor now, just focus on your health. Stop making people worry.

With that, I said only what needed to be said and turned away.

As I turned, her desperate arms reached out to , but then she clenched her fist and withdrew.

-Thud. Thud.

As I walked away and reached the door, she spoke.

.....It was a lie..!

.........

I stopped in my tracks.

....The things I said about hating you...! Saying Id hate you for the rest of my life...! Saying Id curse you...!

Her voice grew more tearful, as if recalling our last farewell.

....I...! Even after I banished you from the family.... sob... the fact that you got hurt because of soone as ungrateful as wont change...! Im not asking for forgiveness, but....! Saying I hated you was a lie...

.....

Sob Oppa... I-Im sorry Believing that was the final word Id ever speak to you... Sothing irreversible...

How much she must have regretted those words, as soon as she regained her consciousness, she was correcting them.

It was a lie Oppa.... Really It was a lie....

I turned back to look at her - Asena was crying on my bed.

When I left, I had wished she would hate . I didnt expect to return, but I truly wished she would let go of her feelings for .

But wishing for that ant sothing else as well: It ant I believed the opposite was most likely. I believed she wouldnt hate .

Looking at her, I knew I had to confess a fact that was hidden deep in my heart.

My voice, heavy and cutting through Asenas sobs, echoed.

......I already knew, Asena.

There was no need for her to convince those words were lies. I already knew that.

--- End Of The Chapter ---

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