Elias couldn’t move after hearing what Viktor said to him. His back was still against the wall of the twins’ bedroom, Viktor’s hand resting gently on his waist, the taste of that last kiss still on his lips. His heart was beating so hard he was sure Viktor could feel it through both their shirts.
Viktor had just said it out loud and in front of Clara. In front of everyone who might hear.
’I choose Elias. Always.’
The word kept ringing in his head over and over again. It sounded like a vow. It sounded like a proposal. It sounded like sothing Elias had secretly wanted for months and never let himself believe he could have.
His face burned. His ears burned. His whole body felt too warm, like his heat might co back just from embarrassnt.
Viktor was watching him, waiting, eyes soft but serious.
Elias opened his mouth to speak but nothing ca out.
Viktor smiled a little, noticing his reaction. He brushed his thumb across Elias’s cheek. "Breathe, little cat. You’re not going to hold your breath through the whole of the day, are you?"
Elias sucked in air he didn’t know he’d been holding.
"You... you just told Clara you choose ."
"I did."
"In front of her."
"I did that too."
"You basically broke the engagent like that,"
Viktor’s smile grew. "I hope so."
Elias covered his face with both hands. "Viktor!"
"What?" Viktor laughed softly. "I’ve wanted to do that for weeks. Months, maybe. I was waiting for the right mont."
"This was the right mont?" Elias squeaked through his fingers.
"It felt pretty perfect to ."
Elias dropped his hands. His cheeks were bright red. "Why now? Why today?"
Viktor’s smile faded a little. He stepped closer, putting both hands on Elias’s waist, his grip gentle but firm.
"Because I might not get another chance," he said quietly. "The war is coming. I don’t know if I’m coming back in one piece, or..."
Elias slapped his hand over Viktor’s mouth so fast it made a soft smack.
"Don’t," Elias said, voice shaking. "Don’t say it. Don’t even think it. You are coming back. You have to. You have the kids and you have ..."
Viktor’s eyes softened. He pulled Elias’s hand down, kissed the palm, then slowly planted a warm kiss on his forehead.
"Okay," he whispered. "I’ll co back. For you. For the kids."
Elias’s eyes stung. He looked down so Viktor wouldn’t see. The idea of Viktor saying things like that, as if he were going to his death, made him upset.
Viktor tilted his chin back up. "Hey. Look at ."
Elias did.
"I ant it," Viktor said. "I an every single word I say. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long ti. I was just too scared to say it out loud. I’m scared of you rejecting and... I’m even scared to hear your response now. I love you, Elias."
Elias’s breath hitched as he pressed his lips together.
Viktor kept going, voice low and steady. "I knew it. I know you might not be ready to say it back. That’s okay. I’m not asking you to. I just needed you to know before everything gets crazy."
Elias swallowed hard. "I... I don’t know what to say."
"You don’t have to say anything right now." Viktor brushed his thumb over Elias’s bottom lip. "Just don’t run away from , okay?"
Elias gave a small and quick nod like he was listening to his mother.
Then reality crashed back in as he rembered what had just happened before the confession.
"Clara," Elias said suddenly. "She’s going to cause big problems. You have to go talk to her."
Viktor gave a loud and dramatic groan.
"Do I have to?"
"Yes!" Elias pushed at his chest. "Go! Before she calls her dad or burns the house down or sothing!"
Viktor let himself be pushed one step. "She won’t burn the house down."
"You don’t know that!"
Viktor sighed. "Fine. Five minutes. Then I’m coming back to kiss you again."
Elias shoved him harder. "Fuck! Just go!"
Viktor stole one more quick kiss, then let Elias push him out the door. Elias slamd it shut, locked it, and slid down to the floor with his back against it.
He sat there for a long ti, knees pulled to his chest.
’He... He loves . Viktor Drago loves . That insane man is in love with ,’
The words kept spinning in his head.
He touched his lips. They still tingled as he rembered the kiss.
He loved the kiss. He loved the way Viktor held him like he was the only one in Viktor’s big world. He loved the way Viktor looked at him like he was the only person in front of him.
But love?
Elias buried his face in his knees.
He didn’t know what love was supposed to feel like.
He’d never had it before. Not really. He was too busy to understand it.
His adopted parents had loved him, he knew that. But they were gone. Lila loved him, but that was different.
’Is this warm, aching, terrifying feeling in my chest love?’
He thought to himself as he imagined Viktor with soone else. Viktor smiling at Clara. Viktor kissing soone new. Viktor holding another person the way he held him.
His chest hurt so bad he pressed his hand over his heart.
No.
He didn’t want that. He didn’t want Viktor with anyone else. Ever.
Elias groaned and pulled at his hair.
"I’m jealous," he whispered to the empty room. "I’m so jealous it hurts. What is wrong with ? Maybe I’m really in love with Viktor. When did it all start?"
He sat there until his breathing slowed.
Then he stood up, wiped his face, and opened the door. He could hear crashing from downstairs.
Plates. Glasses. Sothing very expensive was being crashed into the ground.
He didn’t need to ask who was doing all of that. He already had the answer as her angry and terrifying face flashed across his eyes.
Clara.
Elias stayed in the hallway, back pressed to the wall. He didn’t want to see her face right now. She would scream at him. Throw the plates at him. Or worse.
He slid down again, sat on the cold tiles, and listened.
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