[So foolishly pray for eternal life,]
[not knowing that their lives have already rged into the lives of others.]
[I can only vaguely recall, many simulations ago, my eyes didn’t seem as cold, and my attitude toward life wasn’t as flippant as it is now.]
[...]
[—But why must I bear so many wraiths?]
[—But why must I witness such purgatory?]
[I will lay to rest with my people in a land buried under snow and ice.]
[This is the native realm where they were born and raised.]
...
Day 292 of the war.
You gradually complete the rest of the work for humanity’s entry into [Two Dinsions], setting up so special programs.
Day and night rotate ceaselessly, and you walk alone among the dead.]
"..."
On the battlefield, with flags fluttering, you look up and see an endless wildfire; the cries and pleas of the people fill your ears and chest, leaving you with an inexplicable bitterness.
It turns out that the passing of life is but a montary event. It vanishes abruptly, with none of the grace or passion described in epics.
It turns out you can truly witness the death of tens of millions.
It turns out that when you kill an enemy, what you feel is not exhilaration but a profound weight and panic.
"Help, save ..."
"You are the avatar of the world’s will, please save us..."
"Acto... Lord Acto..."
The color of blood seeps through the bandages, and you stand among the injured, watching their lives ebb away. The cries for help swell and beco noisy, and you hear no laughter.
Staring at the grey-white wall, in that mont you suddenly want to flee.
You could ignore them all, and you don’t have to activate the Dawn System with your own life.
You still have a chance to escape.
As you hesitate, a child slowly looks up, his skin surrounded by bloodied bandages, leaving only his dark eyes visible, staring at you.
"...Deity, my lord." He calls you like that, even though his arms are completely shattered, he still drags his small body, like a dying worm, crawling towards you.
"Clatter." A black and white family portrait falls from the child’s pocket.
Like the last straw that breaks the cal’s back.
You rember, a long ti ago, the young soldier who died in front of your eyes.
Then you rember the moon, rember Qi, rember Tretiya. You rember the Dawn System built with your lifespans. You rember the black and white tombstone and the jar of candies.
The bronze pocket watch, attached to a gold chain at your waist, trembles slightly, "tick tock" it sounds, and you look down.
"It’s over."
You mutter to yourself, your throat choked, hand clenched into a fist, and slowly knock on your chest,
"I can’t escape..."
...
Day 304 of the Catastrophe, a blue-eyed girl is brought before you, her na is Dong An’an. She is bound all over, but her gaze is full of intensity.
She is a good experintal subject, a civilian girl. As for why she fell into being an experintal subject, you do not care.
You notice she has always been quiet, even when subjected to the painful chanics of your operation, she wouldn’t utter a word.
"You seem to never ask questions. Like, why I am conducting experints on you, or when you can leave." you say.
Under the bright lights, the devices emit a "beep beep" sound, and you push the liquid out of the syringe in your hand.
The girl lies on the experintal bed, her body strapped down.
Her pupils tremble slightly, her jaw lifts a little: "I’m not interested in my future. Acto, you killed my family during the Century Catastrophe. My entire life exists for the purpose of killing you. The reason I was brought to your lab is because I kicked your statue, and so for ’disrespecting a deity,’ I was arrested by your soldiers."
"You rember the Century Catastrophe?" You’re surprised.
Her beautiful eyes droop slightly: "I have so recollection of it."
You don’t rember her family. You don’t kill without reason; if her family died by your hand, it must be because one of them targeted you first. But such things are hard to prove, and unclear.
Let her harbor hatred if she must.
As you begin to undo her restraints, she bites fiercely into the back of your hand without hesitation.
Her limbs are weak, but her teeth still sharp, like a wildcat that has exhausted all ans of revenge, she frantically bites the skin on the back of your hand, as if destroying it would satisfy her, with a piercing sense of despair and anger.
You watch her calmly, until your left hand is bitten to a bloody ss. Only then does she hesitate and release her bite.
Under the bright incandescent lamp, her blue eyes flicker like shimring flower shadows, with an exceptionally beautiful sheen.
"Why don’t you..." push away?
Her mouth moves slightly, and your blood sars around her lips.
"Dong An’an, I need you," you say. "I want to imprint suitable persona data from you to create the antivirus program for Two Dinsions. This requires your will to cooperate with ."
"Why choose ?" she asks, coldly.
"The initial values of everything in [Two Dinsions] must align with the foundations of [Three Dinsions], so I need to continuously simulate suitable initial world values. I must maintain a state of consonance when these two dinsions first make contact, and it’s the sa for the antivirus program in [Two Dinsions]. I need to find soone in [Three Dinsions] who resonates, and you are the most suitable person I’ve t," you say.
"I don’t understand," she frowns.
"Foolish," you say.
Dong An’an clenches her teeth and remains silent.
And you just watched her indifferently.
"Dong An’an, if you agree, then you can kill before I die of old age, fulfilling your desire for revenge," you said. "This won’t be too far away, by the end of this year at the latest, I will activate Two Dinsions, and my life force will rapidly deplete as I age."
You saw her expression change from anger to confusion, and finally, to absolute shock.
She probably didn’t understand why you, who had attained supre power, harbored a willingness to die.
"You..." she said.
"Do you agree?" you asked.
"How can I be sure you will die..." her pupils trembled.
"Because I enjoy seeing everyone alive, are you satisfied with that reason?" you said lightly.
She didn’t speak.
You embraced her, handed her the link device, and began to imprint her values, letting her bite your shoulder and collarbone like a little madwoman. It seed she still hated you.
"If you hate , then hate ..."
...
Day 312 of the war.
You sat in a wheelchair, coughing.
The decay of your soul often made you forget how to stand up, how to walk. Most of the ti, you needed a wheelchair to assist you in moving.
You had already set up an administrator account and a personal AI to help your bionic body move, which you nad "Xike."
Dong An’an had beco much more obedient. Perhaps it was because she saw you working tirelessly through the night. She realized that you were not a selfish person.
Sotis, you would take her out for fresh air, and she would help you push the wheelchair. It was already winter, and the trees everywhere had long since withered into sticks for firewood, with only the fiery red plum blossoms blooming in the snow and wind.
Your reflections flickered in a puddle, misted with a layer of crystal-clear water vapor.
"...I’m sorry, but I still hate you." Dong An’an said, looking down at you.
She was still unable to let go of her hatred; you had killed all her loved ones. If she didn’t hate you, it would be a betrayal to herself.
"It’s okay, when the ti cos, I will leave my death to you," you said.
You were destined to die at the end of the year. If so, it would be better to stab her a couple of tis before dying; it was a cost-free gesture. You didn’t want her murderous intent to spoil; that way, the data wouldn’t be perfect.
She was in a lot of pain every ti she was imprinted. You felt it was only right to give sothing back to her.
"Can we make a contract, where you promise to allow my revenge?" Dong An’an said.
"Of course," you said. "The murderous intent you can’t cut from your soul is precisely why I value you as an antivirus program."
You reached out and hooked fingers with her.
"I allow you to kill , Dong An’an," you said. "If one day you find I’ve decayed, you’re also welco to kill ."
This was a ludicrous contract of murderous intent. Out in the open, it would only provoke laughter. But the two parties involved were very serious, making eye contact, her hand trembling.
You held her hand, which was full of scars and frostbite. She was a girl from the Apocalypse; it was impossible for her skin to be smooth and delicate.
You rubbed her rough fingertips, signaling her to calm down.
The one to be killed remained calm while the killer trembled violently, as if their roles were reversed.
—What a ridiculous yet solemn contract, filled with twisted and ugly obsessions and murderous intent, with no visible beauty, yet resolute to the point of indestructibility.
Humanity needed your life to activate Two Dinsions, just as it needed her as "the antivirus program." Neither of you was dispensable.
The last twilight of the night slowly descended, the last trace falling behind you both.
Her gaze was like a shell cracked open, the light fragnted and reflecting.
"I’m sorry," she said.
"It’s okay," you replied.
"Does it still hurt... the wounds I bit?" she asked softly.
"There are too many wounds; I’ve forgotten," you replied.
...
Day 318 of the war.
You encountered Noah, who had been missing for a long ti.
Just as you were about to faint in the lab, Noah suddenly appeared and supported you.
"You’re still worried about ? Didn’t you say your ideals are opposed to mine?" you gasped for breath, smiling at him.
You saw an imnsely complex emotion in his eyes. It was bitter. His cold hand touched your forehead and quickly withdrew as if touching electricity.
His gaze lingered on your heavy dark circles, your pale face, and your skeletal fra. Anger appeared on his face.
"Do you have to die? Do you insist on driving yourself to death?" Noah reproached you, taking you to the rooftop to catch the breeze.
The wind on the rooftop was extrely cold, swinging the tal fras and turning the sound of steel into a fine line in your mind. A boundless curtain enveloped all in its path, his golden hair fluttering in the wind like free-rolling tongues of fla.
You were surprised; you had concealed from almost everyone the fact you were going to die. Noah sohow knew.
"Not cherishing one’s own life, you will... regret it in the end," his voice was muffled mostly within the night, like the calm before the storm.
And you just smiled and said, "If I could live, of course, I wouldn’t want to die."
You were certain to die.
To activate the Dawn System required your control of the World Origin, which you acquired during the Century Catastrophe, sothing only you had, and it was inseparable from you.
If you infused it, you would die.
Noah looked at your face. He seed to be restrained by sothing, his expression desolate.
He spoke slowly:
"Yasa. I’ve always had a dream... to beco a Flying Bird. Freedom and unrestraint are the qualities I most admire. Dying for so responsibility, for so emotion, would be too la. That’s why I hate seeing you beco this person."
In the midst of the cold night wind, he stretched out his hand towards you:
"You still have a chance. Co with , leave this place, I’ll take you to the freest land, forget everything else."
You had never seen him so serious before.
His palms bore no rough scars, no frostbite, they were hands that had been well protected. He possessed imnse strength, capable of easily safeguarding himself in a chaotic world, naturally he couldn’t understand your sacrifices.
That hand was close to you... You didn’t need to lean forward, didn’t need to exert any effort, and you could grab it. In that palm, it was as if a radiant and splendid tomorrow was presented.
You just had to take hold of it.
All you had to do was... take hold of it.
You extended your hand, lightly resting it upon his palm.
The mont your hand touched his, you felt as though you had beco a flying bird, with the night breeze as the feathers sprouting from your arms, rustling "swish swish" in the quiet night. You saw the excited tears in his eyes, but after a mont of silence, you still spoke up:
"I’m sorry."
"I can’t go with you."
"..."
At that mont, it was as if a gust of wind had blown between you.
And utterly dispersed everything.
"What one gets and loses in life has never been up to oneself," you said. "Respect my decision. Go and pursue your freedom, aren’t you a flying bird? Don’t worry about what I do."
Noah’s hand suddenly lost all its warmth.
His gaze heavily drifted down to the city-state below, then out towards the distant battlefields and ruins. He suddenly felt a pang of belated pain, bitter, desperate, overwhelming emotions climbing onto his heart.
He finally realized that you were truly beyond his reach.
"Okay," he said.
"Then, if Two Dinsions is activated, would you be willing to enter it, help manage humanity, protect them?" you asked.
"Hmph." Noah laughed coldly:
"Once Two Dinsions is activated, upon seeing your bionic body for the first ti, I will certainly grab it and give it a good beating."
"Please feel free, I believe it won’t get angry," you said.
Noah said, "But before that, please enjoy your last monts peacefully, and don’t wear yourself out..."
He didn’t finish his sentence.
You had already fallen backward.
He reached out, pulling your body towards him, making sure you could rest more comfortably.
You couldn’t see the complexity in his gaze.
Before slipping into a profound sleep, you heard his muffled voice, close to your ear, mixed with sobs.
"...Foolish, too foolish."
"Why die for an elusive spring..."
"If it were , I would never..."
...
Day 332 of the war.
You completed your final task.
Today is the second to last day of the first year of the Catastrophe, the countdown to the activation of Two Dinsions.
It is also the second to last day of your life.
Over the past few months, you created so bionic people. For example, Tretiya’s bionic person, Moon’s bionic person, and this way, it felt as if they were still living by your side.
All the work was finished, you opened a book called "On Human Faith and the Roots of Inequality," reading the last book of your life.
Having undergone thousands of simulations, the lifespan of your soul was very long, you had experienced too many things, so many that you had forgotten a lot of them.
What were your hobbies? What was the first book you read? Which story left the deepest impression on you? Which piece of music did you like the most...
These hobbies unique to an "individual" had long beco blurred in your mory.
So say that countless "individual preferences," such as favorite gas, songs, TV shows... these combined could constitute a "person". That’s the proof that one "person" is different from another.
But you had forgotten those things that were uniquely yours.
- You had already been forcibly pulled out of the category of a "person", crucified in the focus of people’s gaze, your flesh and blood withered within a deity’s idol, showing a facade of steel and stone. There was nothing uniquely yours that could awaken the burdens within your soul.
"It was I who chose this path that bound myself."
"It was I who chose this burden to shoulder."
"So, becoming an empty shell, becoming an idol..."
You closed the book in your hands; it no longer held any aning for you. Your eyes had seen everything there was to see, and nothing could surprise you anymore.
"...was my own wish."
Ginkgo leaves fell onto your shoulders.
They are called "living fossils."
You thought, maybe in people’s eyes, you too would beco a "living fossil" of human civilization. Everlasting, undecaying, forever living in so corner of the world, fulfilling everyone’s expectations.
Footsteps approached, and Twilight ca to your side, covering your eyes with her hands.
"Guess who?" she chuckled lightly. She didn’t know you were going to die.
"..."
You said nothing.
To you, this kind of teasing was nothing more than "boring", a re waste of ti with no amusent.
She stuck out her tongue, releasing her hands, "Recently, even joking around with you gets no response... Tomorrow we’ll leave this dinsion; let take you for one last look at the scenery of this dinsion..."
Pushing your wheelchair, she moved over the fallen ginkgo leaves, rolling across a golden carpet spread on the ground.
You talked a lot, you were like an old person fond of reminiscing the past, repeatedly going over your shared tis again and again.
You thought back to the first month when the nine of you went traveling together.
You rembered the first battlefield, the youthful air with which you fought.
You recalled the many rescue operations with your companions, how there was always a child tugging at your sleeve as if you were a very secure person.
You thought of the green vines in spring, the people who lost their light in the darkness, the wine the moon gave you, Noah’s white bird, the people fleeing like ants in droves, the clear tea in Lin Guang’s hands.
You thought...
You thought of so many, so much.
So much that it made you reluctant to let go, so much that you started to feel fear, so much that you trembled all over, your fingers unable to grip the armrest.
The night sky was lofty, and the heavens and earth seed glued together; the gingko leaves rustled as they fell, and Xi suddenly stopped, yawning.
"I’ll send you back to sleep early, your days and nights have been upside down. Once ’Two Dinsions’ starts, adjust your biological clock properly," she said.
You smiled faintly, secretly swallowing your sourness.
You no longer need to adjust your biological clock...
You no longer have a tomorrow.
...
December 31st.
Dawn.
Heavy rain.
You said farewell to your companions one by one, letting them step into "Two Dinsions" ahead of you. They would go one step ahead of most of humanity, arriving in "Two Dinsions" first.
You deceived them, saying you would follow shortly.
This was a remote garden villa, where you had kept a cat, with desserts and drinks laid out under the gingko tree. You sat in the chair, waving goodbye to them, watching them step into Two Dinsions.
The ark of farewell had already reached hope.
The ending doesn’t need you.
When Xi left, she smiled and waved at you, saying "see you in a bit."
Her figure disappeared among the data, quickly dissolving into the brilliance.
"I’ll lead the way for you all!" Rong Yuan entered quickly too, full of confidence in the future.
When it was Beili Sier’s turn, he seed to have a premonition, suddenly gripping your hand tightly:
"Yasa, I don’t know what plans you have, but if you don’t co, I will wait for you forever... until one day you appear before , until the life of my soul ends, or I beco a madman."
His gaze locked onto your frozen smile like a chain:
"You must co, you must appear, understand? In the valley, there will be a person nad Beili Sier, who will keep a spring for you. Rember ."
He gripped your hand, the bones seemingly cracking, his determination seeking a promise from you.
But you let go of his hand and silently watched him in the pouring rain.
Your sudden silence hurt him. He realized sothing.
"You—you!! Yasa! You can’t be planning to—"
His hand shook, panic flashing in his eyes. Before he could reach for you again, you swiftly activated your authority and sent him into Two Dinsions.
After he left, you suddenly cried out loud.
This was the most intense emotional outbreak you had ever had.
It also made you realize that you weren’t any incarnation of the world’s will— just a lie to make humanity believe you, but it ensnared you as well, making you believe that you really had beco a god, everyone’s god.
You were just a nineteen-year-old human.
Your na was "Yasa Acto," a human exhausted in body and mind.
Aside from Lin Guang, all your companions had entered.
With no one to see you, you could finally cry.
Lightning split the air in two; rain and cold wind stabbed your eyes, the whole world’s coldness pooled into your vacant reminiscences.
"Actually, I don’t want to die either..."
It felt like your mouth was filled with blood, as if a knife had sliced open your armor, leaving you bloody and raw.
"I also want to see spring, I want to live, I want to witness firsthand your better lives, your happy families..."
"But it’s too late... This is sothing only I can do..."
"Although it’s very young, although it’s very regrettable."
"But it’s over."
"But it’s over..."
In the pounding rain,
your figure was obscured by the rain curtain.
...
You don’t have a perfect ending.
All the preparations you had made earlier, all the bright futures you had planned for humanity—they were all built on the foundation that "you must die."
The wonderful blueprint you had painstakingly drawn for them, the perfect Two Dinsions you had simulated for them thousands of tis—you could not step into it.
"Death" is your only ending.
The best ending.
...
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