Xiber was not participating in this war of a hundred for the first ti.
In the very first war, due to her status as a heretic, she was the only one among the hundred people who was not assigned an adventurer. She knew nothing about the truth of the war.
She only knew the rules—if she wanted to survive to the end, she had to win this war, kill everyone.
So, within fifteen days, she, all alone, sacrificed her own life force, invoked the power of Jiu Shen, and killed the other ninety-nine pairs of Guides and adventurers, including her friends, playmates, and even her brother Fengchang.
She triumphed, becoming the sole final victor, with all people dying under her tentacles.
But just as she had killed the last person, she died from exhaustion due to the over-sacrifice of her life force, without having the chance to proceed to the outside world.
When she opened her eyes again, she found herself back on the first day of the war.
——The cycle began.
She discovered that each ti she died, she would return to the first day of the war.
She knew that this was probably an ability granted to her by the great Jiu Shen. Maybe Jiu Shen wanted her to use this power to find the thod to beco a deity within these fifteen days, overthrow the Black Wall, and resolve the curse that caused the slow death of Qiongdi’s people.
She was also willing to take on this heavy responsibility to save those who should not die.
She wanted to save them.
At first, she tried not to sacrifice her life force to avoid eventual exhaustion and death.
...But how could that be possible. Without using the power of Jiu Shen, she was almost powerless.
Sotis, she died from falling into traps, spikes piercing through her body; sotis, from toxic rain causing her flesh to disintegrate; sotis, she drowned in sludge, watching herself slowly lt away.
She died bitten by wild wolves, rotted by night mists, cursed to death by cursed creatures, killed by the cooperative attack of other Guides, burnt to ashes by Dian Si’s white fla, disintegrated by Migael’s ti energy, or crushed to death by the Great Elder with a blow that shattered her internal organs...
That was not the most despairing part.
The most despairing was every ti she saw him, the Young Tribe Leader.
He disregarded her explanations, deprived her of the right to tell the truth, and killed her again and again.
Ming’an’s Piercing would go through her chest, lting her heart, sotis also piercing straight through her forehead, completely dissolving her face.
Every encounter with him led to her quick death and the restart of the cycle.
She tried to avoid him, but as soon as she showed up, she would be captured by the exhilarated Bai Shen believers and burned to death.
Tied to the stake, the sensation of being devoured bit by bit by flas was sothing she was more familiar with than anyone. It was a pain of neither being able to live nor die, as if all the cells in the body were howling, with only a burning, sharp pain in the eyes and throat.
"——I’m saving you! I’m trying to save you all——"
She cried and scread, but nobody paid any attention.
In the cycle, she was also betrayed countless tis.
The first ti she was betrayed, her heart felt as if it had been stabbed, but as it happened over and over, she could no longer feel anger, nor fury.
When betrayed for the first ti, you feel sad, you grieve.
When betrayed for the second ti, you get angry, you resent it.
When betrayed for the third ti, you start to doubt yourself.
Until the fourth ti, the fifth ti, the sixth ti...
Gradually, she could no longer count how many deceptions and betrayals she had suffered.
So ca from her own brother and other family mbers, due to faith and blood ties, and so were from strangers, for the sake of benefits and victory.
The Saintess, whom she had saved, stabbed her decisively after learning of her identity.
The Tribe suffering from the disaster would not hesitate to bla her as the source of the toxic rain.
The small settlents she had saved would voluntarily hand her over to the First Tribe to exchange for even the slightest survival resources.
"——It’s all your fault! We don’t need your saving!"
"——If you, a Jiu Shen believer, were dead, we wouldn’t suffer these disasters at all!"
Such voices were everywhere.
She wanted to explain that even if she died, it wouldn’t solve any problems because everything would just start over, but no one believed it; they only wanted to strip her of the right to live.
Initially, she would be sad, bla herself, want to take revenge like a wild wolf without a care in the world, but soon, as the number of tis increased, her ntality beca more and more tranquil.
The pain, the scars, the unhealed ones, the past wounds, whether bleeding or crusted, upon seeing them happen again, would now just blend into a faint whisper.
"I’ve gotten used to it.".
...
The world was so vast, yet there was no place for her to belong.
...
Afterward, she started to change her strategy, no longer insisting on surviving to the end, she wanted to uncover the truth, to try other thods to break the cycle.
Through death after death,
She once delved into the underground chamber of the First Tribe, rummaging through the family letters of Zhao Weidong, seeking the relics of the outside laboratories.
She tried to wait near the Black Wall, hoping for the arrival of soone from the outside world.
She thought of persuading the teacher she was close to, asking Teacher Fang to believe her, but in the end, she was rely given the label of a madwoman, and t Teacher Fang’s pitying and helpless gaze.
"Alas... the child has gone mad." Teacher Fang would pat her head: "Don’t be afraid, Cici, I hope your remaining days can be better, just don’t ntion these ridiculous things again..."
In the end, no one believed her.
Not a single person.
The death of a single person triggering the reincarnation of a whole world—how could anyone possibly believe such an absurdity.
...
To save the world, she had visited many places.
She read through books, visited settlents, and gradually ca to know the origins of deities—three major elents, "Energy, Faith, Authority".
She captured many tribespeople, using various thods of execution, forcing them to reveal the secrets of the great tribes.
She exploited the information disparity of reincarnation to gain leverage over many, threatening and torturing them ruthlessly until they had no choice but to reveal the truth.
Her thods grew increasingly vicious, her personality ever colder and harsher, transforming from a withdrawn and introverted girl, ostracized from others, into an extrely cruel and ruthless Hunter.
Like a vigilant hunter, a wild wolf.
Her torture and skinning techniques beca more and more sophisticated, her killing thods more and more adept, until, even without the power of Jiu Shen, she could kill Guides far more powerful than herself with Hunter skills and traps.
Because she knew these people too well, she knew their character, their combat styles, their weaknesses, their families... she knew everything about them.
For a hint of the secrets of Qiongdi, she could slaughter an entire village or burn to death those devoted Bai Shen believers who refused to yield.
—After all, everything could start over, and everyone would be reborn.
Then she would be the one to do it.
As long as she didn’t harm anyone in the successful reincarnation at the end, then no matter how convoluted the path she took in the countless reincarnations before, it was all worthwhile.
People hate her, curse her, misunderstand her, it doesn’t matter.
As long as she could break the cycle of reincarnation in the end—all the rumors would crumble on their own.
Let them hate her then.
If the power gained from sacrificing life force could not sustain her until the end, then she must seek the last resort—becoming a deity.
...
But soon, she found that this was impossible.
One of the three elents of becoming a deity—"Faith"—would forever be out of her reach.
She had been to the First Tribe, using her accumulated knowledge to help people cultivate fertile land, to make farming equipnt, becoming a Sage in the hopes that people would worship her.
But she overlooked the stubbornness of the Bai Shen believers. People would only take her knowledge and still see her as a "monster", with no one to worship her.
Her end was either being killed by the Fengchang or poisoned to death by the tribespeople in secret.
Later, she started trying to do charity work. She took in those lost Guides, those displaced tribespeople, and gave them Protection.
She sacrificed herself to shield them from the wrath of natural disasters and toxic rain; she struggled to protect the tribespeople and helped them rebuild their Sanctuary.
But still, she would be treated as a Heretic, unappreciated by anyone.
Her end would only be to be killed by those who ca to exterminate heretics.
People’s beliefs are incredibly stubborn.
They would never worship soone imbued with the aura of Jiu Shen.
If she did not utilize the power of Jiu Shen, she would be killed by other Guides. Yet once she used the power of Jiu Shen, she would lose faith, and die from the depletion of her life force, and with each reincarnation, the aura of Jiu Shen on her beca denser.
—A dead loop.
She simply, could not break this situation.
"...It’s just no use, I just can’t do it... I’m trying to save them, but no one believes ..."
How many near-death monts did she cry out those words, leading to the next reincarnation.
The identity of a Heretic had beco the fundantal reason she could not break the ga.
"—Heretic, go die already!"
"—Die and start over? Only a ghost would believe you; even if it’s true, that’s just your filthy Heretic power!"
"—Cici, if you know what’s good for you, find sowhere to die and don’t bother us. The aura of Jiu Shen on you is simply disgusting."
"..."
She had seen too many tragedies.
Every ti she heard such words, it was as if she had been brutally stabbed.
Everyone was hoping for her to die.
But no one knew that her death would be pointless.
To prove what she said was true, she had to die, but once she died, the very point of proof would cease to exist.
How many tis did she want to cry out.
Why—
—Why had she sacrificed so many lives, only to be trapped in an unbreakable cycle of death?
—Why did she desperately keep saving them, only to forever face scorn and misunderstanding from people?
—Why couldn’t everyone just give her a little more ti and a chance to explain?
—Why...
Her mory blurred little by little amid repeated deaths.
Her divine wisdom was tortured again and again by tamorphosis and curses.
Reincarnation did not change her state of mind; with each death, her mories beca completely chaotic.
All sorts of deaths, even tamorphoses... drove her increasingly mad, increasingly bewildered.
Reincarnation was not a lucky authority for her, but a curse and tornt that made it impossible for her to abandon her responsibilities.
Gradually, she forgot who she was, why she was alive, what truth she was trying to unveil by clinging to this wretched life.
She forgot her na, forgot all the information she had obtained. Her mory, in self-protection, beca sealed, and the vast fragnts of death mories nearly drove her mad.
Twice, she thought it would be better not to open her eyes, not to wake up, to let her sleep forever in that wooden hut on the very first day.
Five tis, she thought she might as well forget everything; she was just Cici, not Xiber, not the sole believer of the most ancient deity.
Ten tis, she wept bitterly over those corpses, apologizing, saying sorry, so sorry.
She was on the verge of collapse, seemingly mad, like a startled and fearful animal, a lone and wary wolf.
As a player in the midst of it all, she could not break out of this deadly impasse.
"If only soone would rescue ," she thought.
If only soone would stand by her side, give her warmth, even if just a small asure of belief in her...
If only soone could bring a hug to her chilled body, if only soone could tell her that she could still see the sun and the sea...
She had thought she would never see that day.
But this ti, soone who had never been there before suddenly appeared by her side.
...He had black hair, a pair of black eyes.
...He had a clever mind, the wisdom to adapt to situations.
...He cared about the feelings of his companions, never neglecting one for another.
...He could tell stories, play musical instrunts...
The words she wrote on the wall as a child, with her authority of faith, actually ca true.
When her mories had beco blurred and confused, the person she had always fantasized about in this cycle—suddenly ca to her side.
He told her he would stay with her always.
He said if he was a traveler who had stumbled into the endless night, she was his lighthouse.
He said she was the most important, the most unique.
He said,
He would show her flowers blooming.
...
In this Qiongdi fabricated by imposed faith.
...They were the only pair of "sober" lambs.
...
[Beneath the firmant, all things are reborn. The forgotten, in the guise of ’monsters,’ vainly attempt to rival the gods.]
[The adventurer before her seems to have suddenly beco the most suitable person for her.]
[This ti,]
[Refuse betrayal, forbid abandonnt.]
[—She will beco the ’god’ among ’monsters’.]
...
[This ti.]
...
This ti,
She fell into hallucinations halfway through, poison rain seeped into her body, beyond saving. Fengchang even chose to maintain the deception, not believing in her.
She failed again.
She aid the gun at her heart.
"Bang!"
The gunshot sounded, her hand suddenly swerved.
Upon opening her eyes, she again saw that familiar figure.
His pair of pitch-black eyes stared into hers, mirroring the loneliness in her own.
He held the barrel of the gun, with white light from Spatial Displacent still radiating beside him.
The mont he realized Xiber was about to commit suicide, he teleported instantly and deflected the gun from her hands.
"...What are you doing," Su Ming’an said.
Black tendrils surged forth instantly; she imdiately tried to push him away, but it was as difficult as tearing her own flesh.
His hands clung tightly to her shoulders, the heat from his palms painfully searing her skin.
At this mont, she suddenly collapsed.
The thick walls in her heart crumbled instantly, he was the only one who didn’t want her to die.
"Su Ming’an, I really want to die, I want to die so badly—please kill , please kill , don’t let wake up again—!"
She sobbed uncontrollably.
It hurts, it hurts so much.
Her skin was dissolving, her blood boiling, her bones lting.
The incessant rain beat down on her scalp, tearing at her flesh, leaving her like a withered bone still clinging to its skin.
Why did everyone see her as evil—why did they scorn her—why didn’t they give her the right to speak—why wouldn’t they even grant her the chance to escape reincarnation?
At first, she too had harbored goodwill, she too had treated every tribe mber kindly, yet she was always t with endless betrayal and cold death.
No one believed her, no one understood her, not even a single helping hand, she would not have ended up in this state of madness.
She was tired, no longer wanting to go on, she wanted to die, desperately wanted to die, why was even the right to die not granted to her?
—What did she do wrong?
—What exactly did she do wrong?
She had long begun to fear this kind of life that "is over soon". She hoped that disaster and pain would stop there, that all people could find happiness.
Yet, in this world, she couldn’t even save herself.
Just "living" was a painful burden for her.
"It’s so painful," she choked out a mouthful of blood.
"It’s so painful," her fingers split open, peeling skin.
"It’s so painful, so painful, so painful—"
"Su Ming’an! Save —save , save , save —"
Crying out, her entire body was dissolving.
Su Ming’an grabbed her hand, which had rotted into a withered bone.
She looked filthy, her wounds filthy, her face ugly, she was in too much of a ss. The contrast of black rotting flesh mixed with bright red blood was strikingly horrifying.
"...Xiber," he said.
She lay on his shoulder, tears and blood spilling over it.
In her form, deformity beca a kind of beauty, the contrast between her appearance and her insides intertwining like ice and fire, the deformity of her withered bones mingling with her rotting flesh, weaving the contrast.
He drew close to her, as if scorched by blazing flas, frozen by cold vapors. Her pain seed to connect in a line that burned onto him.
"I am so looking forward to eting him, and I have prepared fruits and candies, just waiting for him to co..." he said, "Will he read stories? Although I know fairy tales are just to deceive children, I still love them, I want him to read to ..."—those are the words you repeatedly wrote on the wall, and I have co."
"Xiber," he said, "I haven’t read you a story yet."
Xiber’s sobbing choked up a bit.
When she spoke again, her corroded throat croaked like a raven, tearing at the air with mournful cries.
"—We can’t win—we can’t win—!"
"—Su Ming’an, I really want to save them, but I can’t, I just can’t—!"
...
It seems that humans need to pull on countless tendons and bones in their bodies just to move a step.
It seems that just by struggling to breathe one more breath, one must endure the endless pain of this world.
Su Ming’an couldn’t take his eyes off his companion, but he had to drag her forward—always forward.
In front of him, other than the gloomy gray, the dark canopy of the sky, the fiery heavy rain,
—only her despairing, crying face, like a fallen bird’s.
"I really want to save this world."
"But it’s already rotten through."
She wasn’t crying for herself.
She was crying for the future of Qiongdi, for the ignorant tribespeople.
She wept for every person who wanted to kill her, for this desperate world,
for the slow death of people, for freedom and light that had no place to belong.
She was crying for this sad world.
What she once thought was eternal, was wonderful, turned out to be vulnerable to even the slightest blow.
...
...
"...This destiny"
"Is rotten through."
"—"Jiu Shen·Reincarnation Chronicles""
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