[October 2nd, had a conversation with Su Liujin about the connection between flesh and energy. His words inspired .]
[October 9th, it turns out that animals can truly turn into intelligent beings after drinking blood. I saw a little cat gradually transform into a cat person... Wait, could this be the origin of the Luowasha race?]
[October 21st, the first clinical trial, my blood saved a dying woman. She was a teacher suffering from a terminal illness. She woke up fine, without any adverse symptoms. Seeing her smile after her brush with death, I breathed a sigh of relief.]
[October 29th, through my experints, the concentration of spiritual energy in the air is rising. This is a sign that a small world is about to ascend, which is very promising. We are moving towards a Mid-Magic level world.]
[November 3rd, Lü Shu is showing signs of ascension to a Second-level God; he attained a dark-sided divinity. Originally, he needed to kill to survive; fortunately, he won’t be tainted by bloodshed anymore.]
[November 7th, I fainted once today, but successfully made my blood glow; it looks beautiful! I am contemplating whether it could be used as a ’vaccine’-like thing to enhance the immunity and potential of all humanity.]
[November 13th, several terminal cases have been saved. So, this is how Acto felt back then? Watching many things improve through my hands is quite an interesting process, like solving difficult entrance exam problems in high school, and feeling very satisfied after cracking them.]
[November 18th, I fainted a few more tis. Luckily, I have bionic bodies around; if it were my companions, they would have forced to stop experinting, delaying progress... I must find Yi Song tomorrow to deepen my self-hypnosis and get through this period.]
[November 26th, Yamada Machiichi ca to see today. I clearly told everyone I went into seclusion... Who told him I was here?]
...
"Su Ming’an." Yamada Machiichi entered the ice-blue room holding a bouquet of white lilies.
He initially thought he would sll the scent of flesh, but he could only catch a faint fragrance, a scent of nature.
The white-haired young man sat in a chair, intently observing the slide under the microscope. His hearing seed a bit impaired, as he slowly lifted his head only when Yamada Machiichi got closer.
"The flowers are blooming beautifully outside. I brought you a bunch!" Yamada Machiichi placed the bouquet beside him, smiling: "By the way, didn’t you dye your hair black? It’s white again?"
"This is my natural hair color now. If I don’t continue dyeing it, it quickly returns." Su Ming’an lowered his head again.
Upon hearing this, a flash of pain appeared in Yamada Machiichi’s eyes.
"Do you want to try as well?" Su Ming’an picked up a bottle of crimson-gold liquid from the glass cabinet, shining like stardust, looking extraordinarily beautiful: "Lü Shu tried it, and now shows signs of ascending to a Second-level God. I suspect it’s a catalyst or a nutritional supplent, a blessing from the ’world’ to life. You’ve always struggled to ascend to divinity; accepting this should be beneficial for you."
Yamada Machiichi opened his mouth, remained silent for a while, then slowly said:
"... You hypnotized yourself? Your current state is not right."
"Yes, Yi Song helped ." Su Ming’an nodded directly: "I want to try if the path of flesh and blood experintation is viable. If it works, I won’t need to repeatedly restore again in the future. If not, I’ll restore and try another path."
He looked at his arm covered in wounds; his body was already like a broken doll: "Without certain hypnotic suggestions, I might not withstand such pain. Once I get through it, it’ll be fine."
"I can’t selfishly order you to stop because I don’t know if your current path is right or if it’s the best direction for humanity." Yamada Machiichi lowered his eyelids: "After all, I’ve indeed seen many people saved by you and stepping into a new future... But."
He gritted his teeth:
"As a friend, I don’t want to see you do this."
"To say sothing very selfish, I’d rather you leave after finishing the World Ga, or simply forget everything, than see you suffer like this now."
After saying that, he quickly slapped himself, stating calmly: "That’s what I wanted to say, whether you like it or not, Su Ming’an."
"I don’t like it." Su Ming’an stopped Yamada Machiichi: "And I don’t want to see you hitting yourself."
"I know, so I say it once, and once said, I’ll say the next sentence——" Yamada Machiichi broke free from Su Ming’an’s hand, showing a pale, forced smile: "Need any help? Savior."
"Sure."
With Yamada Machiichi’s involvent, the experint sped up once again.
Yamada Machiichi often found the place terrifyingly cold, as was Su Ming’an, chillingly unfamiliar.
Every day, after the experint ended, Yamada Machiichi would push Su Ming’an to the garden—perhaps due to his severely battered body, Su Ming’an had given up on reviving his legs and remained in a wheelchair.
Su Ming’an always said, this was temporary, and he would restore once he reached results, with no harm having occurred, no pain having existed. So, don’t be sad, don’t shed tears, for this was preordained to be restored gray ti.
But...
Yamada Machiichi clutched his heart, as if hearing the tapping of raindrops.
"Since everything is destined to be restored, then the ti being [experienced] is not considered real?" he murmured.
This is the most rational thinking thod and the most logical action. In the face of the whole world, personal sentint and warmth are insignificant. Yamada Machiichi knew clearly, Su Ming’an was right.
If one wavered and completely abandoned this research direction, then after all vanishes into silence, who will have ti to restart this plan?
His expression was cold, his actions were cold, but his heart was not cold. Precisely because he didn’t want them to perish, didn’t want the whole world to co to nothing, he remained this cold.
"Perhaps this is why I can’t beco a Savior... Even in false ti, I can’t harden my heart to do this..." Yamada Machiichi sighed in his heart.
Perhaps this is why Su Ming’an is Su Ming’an.
In the past, Su Ming’an also had the thought of "restored ti doesn’t count as real," and it was Noel who stopped Su Ming’an from thinking that way, making him regard each ti period as real. However, now the situation has changed, Noel is gone, and many things are gone too.
This thought has beco a necessity under rational conditions. Humanity doesn’t have much ti; restoring is a good redy.
What Yamada Machiichi can do is to continue being a cheerful person, an optimist.
He finds it laughable himself that before the World Ga started, he was the most severely depressed person among his companions, and yet, now, he has beco the one who brings the most joy, whereas his companions have beco worse one by one.
He once sank into the mire, saved by Su Ming’an, gradually erging from past shadows.
——Today, let him return to the mire, back to the river on that path after school, and extend a hand.
"Do you know? Today Zhao Yuan caused another big joke, haha, it’s said in the North Country a girl dyed her hair red, stood high up, lifting a cara, and the warlords thought it was Zhao Yuan, freaked out and retreated, only realizing later it was an empty city plan enacted by an ordinary person, truly satisfying."
"Anger has changed the doctrine, now you’re not just black-haired, white-haired, or purple-haired changing, but red-orange-yellow-green-blue-indigo-violet transitioning... Uh, when we have free ti, we should take that doctrine booklet and revise it properly, so they don’t add any strange ears or tails to the doctrine."
"Guess what Lin Yin went off to do? You definitely can’t guess... hahaha, she’s actually beco the deputy minister of the City Guardian Departnt... Ah, you might not know what the City Guardian Departnt is, it’s been established in the past half year, purging evil and promoting good in the city, akin to superheroes."
"Where should we go today? We’ve previously simulated the gardens of Yu Country, the cherry blossoms of Fusang, and the ice and snow of North Country. How about checking out Mingsha Mountain in Dragon Country today? I’m starting the simulation device right now, I’ll push you around!"
Yamada Machiichi always maintained a smile, Lü Shu was about to be promoted to a Second-level God and needed to seclude himself, so Yamada Machiichi was there, chirping nonstop to keep Su Ming’an company.
Sotis, Su Ming’an found him noisy, and other tis, he missed that chirping feeling.
This room, cold to a frightening degree, gained a touch of human voice and warmth.
On December 24th, Su Ming’an passed out.
Usually, on major holidays like New Year’s, Spring Equinox, anniversaries, companions would gather, especially today being Christmas Eve, which the Western companions valued greatly; however, Su Ming’an was unable to make it to the eting on ti.
In the silent laboratory, Yamada Machiichi gazed at the unconscious Su Ming’an, unable to suppress the chill in his heart, he picked up the communicator, ready to call the others.
Yet, cold gazes fell upon him.
"What are you doing! I need to inform the others, I can’t keep this hidden any longer!" Yamada Machiichi’s communicator fell to the ground as he glared hatefully at these bionic bodies, breaking free from their grasp.
He knew these bionic bodies were created by Su Ming’an, obeying only his orders, but he couldn’t bear the pain in his heart, shouting out in anger.
"By hiding it from everyone, can they be happy!!? What arrogance are you showing, Su Ming’an! I’m really sick of watching you draw your own blood and cut your own flesh every day! I’m imnsely terrified that if I express my unwillingness for you to do this, you’ll imdiately rewind, cutting off any chance for to discover what’s happening here! I’m scared, I’m scared! I’m scared you’ll go back alone to this icy pit, so I’ve always accompanied you with a smile! I can only laugh like a fool all the ti, and you allow to be here! I can only rack my brain telling jokes all day, and then you’ll show a true smile! I know why you’re hiding it from everyone, because you’re afraid of realizing at the end it’s a mistake and everyone bearing the bla together, so you decided to do it alone! If it’s wrong, you’ll just rewind and start over! I really feel heartache, I really feel fear, but I know my heartache is nothing but foolish sentintality, you’re the one who’s right—you’re regretlessly right!!!"
These words almost shouted out all his bitterness and tears, he tried to show an angry expression, but the smile on his face, which had been frozen for too long, had beco a human skin mask over his features. Even in shouting, his face was still smiling.
He seed like a madman too.
The world turned each one of them into madn.
Destiny is truly a dogshit thing.
"..."
And the young man in the wheelchair did not hear his shouting and revelations; the young man was rely asleep, peacefully asleep.
He appeared more tranquil asleep than awake, with closed eyelids like the soft light of two white butterflies, the lines of his neck softened by powerlessness, the bone contours visible perhaps by day, now veiled in deep tranquility, blurring the boundaries.
Asleep, sunk in the wide back of the wheelchair, the tal frawork supported him, as if holding a fragile dream.
That young face, in sleep, lost all marks of struggle, without the stubbornness of wakefulness, almost lting into the night.
Su Ming’an felt like he was having a fever.
Maybe too many experints, even the "world" as strong as it was, could beco weak from exhaustion, just like humans becoming ill from fatigue... this should be noted down...
He faintly felt the breath he exhaled beco hot, his whole body losing strength, just like when he was a child, sick, the immune system expelling the virus, his body was repairing itself... just recover from this illness, and he could continue the experints...
In a blur, he sensed soone lying beside him, crying non-stop.
The voice was... Yamada Machiichi?
This guy was always smiling, now he’s crying... stop crying, I’m not dead yet...
"Record... record it down..." Su Ming’an’s hand reached sideways, wanting to note down various data on his "illness," but his palm was held by soone.
"Fool."
A tiny voice.
"Fool."
It was Yuanyuan’s voice.
Perhaps trapped between wakefulness and dreaming, he heard her voice.
"I told you, whenever you’re sad, co have a beautiful dream, I’ve prepared a thousand beautiful dreams for you, how many have you used so far?"
"Ming’an, I know, to push a world to its limits, you have to use things beyond the specs of the world, like the player props you brought back, like your own divine body. So, your experints are correct... but can’t they slow down a bit? Now you’re even hallucinating, how foolish."
...I’m not foolish, I’m just afraid if ti drags on too long, I won’t be able to rewind... Su Ming’an, consciousness muddled, yet instinctively refuting.
"Humans aren’t that fragile." Yuanyuan’s voice: "You’re just... too scared."
Su Ming’an knew, the danger hadn’t completely left, like so strange people who sneaked in. Unless these threats were completely eradicated, how could he rest?
Choosing irrationality now, until everything was irreversible, and then becoming cold and rational, what good would that do?
—He still rembered Noel’s final gaze, indicating this path wasn’t safe, preparations must be made.
"Still going to be called fools by you..." Perhaps because of illness, he felt sowhat aggrieved, an exceedingly rare emotion. But soon, he realized he indeed neglected Yamada Machiichi and the others.
Upon waking... I’ll comfort them well... but for now, I can’t stop.
"Your progress has been very fast already. Now, with your state collapsed, the only thing you can do is rest." Yuanyuan’s voice: "Rest well, and after recovery, you can continue pushing forward."
Before finally falling asleep, Su Ming’an saw clearly the people standing by the bed.
Yamada Machiichi, Isabella, Lin Yin, Eni, Yi Song, Mo Yan... They gazed at him, mouth opening and closing, speaking words.
They... why did they all co... Yamada Machiichi this guy... did he call them to celebrate...
He closed his eyes, falling into a deep sleep.
...
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