Chapter 123 - If Push Cos to Shove
The three of them agreed it would be safer to continue our discussion in the relative privacy of my dorm room. Honestly, it was the first ti my space felt this crowded. Usually, it was just Neil dropping by to tinker with tech, Remuel popping in for snacks and banter, or Myrrh coming over to check on like a concerned sister—or sothing more.
“W-Wow. So this is your room, Zaft,” Fei said, her wide golden eyes scanning the space with genuine curiosity. “Didn’t expect you to be such a minimalist. Not exactly spotless, but definitely simple.” Her gaze lingered on the dusty mini bookshelf beside my desk and the old plastic robot model standing proudly like a forgotten sentry.
“Why are you acting like it’s so alien landscape?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her tone.
Fei scratched her cheek, a faint blush on her face. “It’s actually my first ti stepping into a guy’s room. Makes wonder what Neil’s room looks like…”
That thought made chuckle. Neil’s room was the opposite of mine. I used to visit during our midterm cram sessions, and the place was always a sensory overload—ani and ga posters plastered on every inch of the wall like a shrine to geekdom. Socks and shirts dangled from hooks, chairs, even his bed fra. Appliances? Oh, he had them all—microwave, rice cooker, blender—but since he lacked enough shelves or storage space, they were scattered around like part of a post-modern art exhibit.
I glanced at Neil now, hunched over his portable console in my room, fingers dancing across the holographic interface. Without warning, the lights flickered off for a second. Then a soft hum filled the air as my dorm room was bathed in pulsating blue neon from the circuit lines hidden in the walls—his doing. The ordinary space now shimred with a sleek, cyberpunk glow, like we had just stepped into a sci-fi noir.
“I’ve disabled all the electronics in this room,” Neil said, his voice calm.
I heard the familiar crinkling of foil—a sound that cut through the room like a red alert. I turned my head and, to my horror, saw Myrrh sitting cross-legged on my bed, casually tearing open a bag of my favorite sour cream potato chips—my chips, carefully stashed for a later, more sacred mont. She had already helped herself to a mouthful, chewing contentedly like she owned the place.
“So, what’s the deal with that thing in the library?” Myrrh asked, voice muffled through chip-crunching, her tone as indifferent as if she were asking about the weather.
I pointed at her with a mix of disbelief and restrained fury. “Myrrh, opening my prized potato chips is one offense. Eating them on my bed? That’s a war cri. I’m gonna wake up with ants crawling on tomorrow.”
She scoffed without missing a beat. “Stupid goon. There are no ants here in Xyraxis,” she said, still chomping with zero remorse. Then, as if doubling down on her sins, she extended the bag toward Fei. “Want so?”
“Thanks!” Fei chirped and grabbed a reckless handful. I watched in silent agony as powdered MSG rained from her fingers like cursed snow, dusting my clean bed sheet with invisible regrets. She froze mid-bite. “Ah—sorry!” she blurted out with a sheepish smile.
I groaned, long and defeated. “My goodness…” There was no salvaging the situation now. I’d just borrow Neil’s dry cleaner later and pray it could erase the flavor betrayal staining my bedding.
But priorities. First, I had to address the taphorical kaiju in the room before any more chip-related atrocities occurred.
“The WMD Series activated earlier,” I said flatly, shifting my attention to Myrrh. “It gave a mission update- The Machine God's Gospel.”
She paused, licking the salt off her fingers. “Is it about the Cosmic Tree?” she asked, tone sharpening ever so slightly.
At that exact mont, I heard another betraying crunch. I turned to see Neil—Neil!—now munching on my already violated potato chips. But his chewing froze mid-bite. His eyes widened in stunned realization, like soone who’d just triggered a landmine with his tongue. The bag slipped from his hands and hit the floor with a tragic plop, scattering chips like shrapnel across the tiles—and worse, a few traitorous pieces bounced onto my bed.
“I-Is it ti already? Are you finally going to kill ?” Neil stamred with a nervous laugh, the kind of smile you’d expect from a side character in a war movie about to volunteer for a noble sacrifice.
“I will kill you,” I said darkly, “for turning my room into a junkyard.”
“Oh—my bad,” he mumbled, quickly crouching over the ss. He started picking up chips and crumbs with his bare hands, like a man repenting for his cris against dostic order. “Anyway, about the Cosmic Tree—”
“It’s not about the Cosmic Tree,” I interrupted, my tone turning colder. “It’s about Dianca Fritz.”
That one na stopped everything. Myrrh halted mid-chew. Fei’s hand froze halfway to the chip bag. Even Neil stopped wiping crumbs. Suddenly, I had all their attention, their eyes locked onto with uneasy anticipation.
“The system issued a directive,” I continued. “The Machine God’s Gospel… it gave a mission. To kill Dianca Fritz. But I don’t know why yet.”
The silence that followed was heavy, almost suffocating. I scanned their faces—confused, alard, unsure. Fei was deep in thought, brows furrowed. I turned to Neil next, hoping for a lead.
“Is Dianca in any way connected to the NTR?” I asked slowly. “Or maybe involved with the HUSBANDO Project? What about the Blackout Incident?”
Neil shook his head slowly, lips pressed into a thin line. “Not that I know of. I’ve never even spoken to Dianca—at least, not until we ran into her during the registration for the Licensure Examinations Tournant.”
“Xian Clan has no records of her either,” Fei added, her voice clipped with precision, though there was a flicker of unease in her eyes.
Myrrh tilted her head, arms crossed. “Are you sure it’s not just a glitch in the WEEB?” she asked, her tone half-hopeful, half-skeptical.
“I wish it were just a bug,” I admitted with a sigh. “I don’t want soone like Dianca—a completely innocent woman—to be caught up in this madness. She doesn’t deserve to be targeted.”
Neil leaned back and gave a dry scoff. “Honestly, I’m more inclined to think that your Machine God’s Gospel is misfiring and actually wants you to kill .”
Fei and Myrrh imdiately frowned and turned toward him with identical looks of exasperation, their expressions hardening.
“Why are you so obsessed with dying?” Myrrh snapped.
Fei’s voice cracked with frustration. “Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”
Neil shrugged and gave a bitter little chuckle, scratching the back of his head like he was brushing off the weight of everything. “Depression, probably. Chronic stress. Survivor's guilt. The usual. Oh—and the guilt of being part of the Blackout Incident. Haha.”
Fei’s golden eyes shimred as her lips trembled. She suddenly clenched her fists, her voice rising, raw and earnest. “I-I was there too during the Blackout Incident! If soone has to take the fall, then let take it too! Please, kill as well!”
I looked at her—at her teary eyes and trembling hands—and sothing inside twisted. “I will never kill you,” I said softly, firmly. Then I turned to Neil. “And you either. My mission is to ‘cut down’ the Cosmic Tree. There are a lot of loopholes in that mission. That doesn’t an eliminating its ‘branches’ or the people caught in its shadow.”
Neil t my gaze, a wry smile playing on his lips. “What, so no noble sacrifice? No bittersweet ending with a slow-motion death scene and a dramatic monologue?”
“It’d be more cinematic that way,” I said dryly. “But if push cos to shove…”
“…I’d still volunteer,” Neil replied with a half-smirk, though his eyes were serious beneath the joking mask.
“I’ll find another way to sever the Cosmic Tree,” Myrrh said firmly, answering before I could. Her voice was steel wrapped in silk. “You might be disgusting, Neil, but you're still our friend. You’re not so harbinger of the apocalypse. And I’ll defend you—with every cell in my body, if I have to.”
“M- too!” Fei declared, her fists clenched with conviction. “You helped escape the clutches of NTR. I owe you my life—and I’ll protect you with everything I have. Even… even my soul! E-even my virginity!”
"You don't need to go that far, Fei." Myrrh said as she forced a smile.
I placed a hand on Neil’s shoulder, gripping it with quiet reassurance. A warm smile tugged at my lips. “We’ll cut the Cosmic Tree together. And when we do, we’ll free you from that sickness too.”
Neil’s lips quivered. His eyes shimred, and tears began to gather at the corners. His breath hitched, and then—snot dribbled from his nose as he let out a loud, blubbering sob.
“Y-You guys!” Neil wailed. “I love you guys! Uwaaaaaah!”
Fei reached over and gently patted his head as he cried, loud and ssy, like a child overwheld by kindness. Honestly, I never expected Neil to be so easily moved. But nothing any of us said was a lie. He needed to hear it. And maybe… we needed to say it.
Still, as I watched him bawl like a little kid, a knot ford quietly in my chest.
Because deep down… if it really ca to that—if there was truly no other way—I didn’t know what I’d do. Logic says I’d save the world. Save everyone. Be the hero.
But if that ant killing Neil… even as a last, last resort...
I don’t know if I could ever go back to living a normal life afterward.
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