We travel the long and winding corridors of the estate in easy silence, broken periodically by little accelerations of the drone projectors wings as we turn a corner, or a little hum of satisfaction as Akiko steals a glance my way. Every ti she does, her tails begin to lift and wag subconsciously, at least I assu, and it makes my heart lt a bit each ti, making
press against her form in a smile as we walk. Our pleasant journey cos to an end as we arrive at the intended destination, Akiko once more giving
so ti to study the glyphs and symbols present.
As I'm trying to morize the inscriptions, Akiko asks from my side, "I forgot to inquire, but what was the revelation that led you to acquiring so many of those points, my dear?"
I finish the last impromptu howork assignnt, turning to look slightly up at the radiant and curious face as I reply, "Well, I guess I completed the Advanced Spear quest when we were having our little match, and then Ios and I wrapped up the one for Journeyman Inscriptions while you were working on this. She's of the opinion that I'm a Mara certified genius when it cos to the written crafts, at least inscriptions for sure, and at this point I can't really say she's wrong. I learn and absorb the stuff way too quick, much faster than either of us thinks is normal, not to ntion I can create and reproduce effects like crazy too."
Akiko hums as she pushes open the door, flaring a bit of Qi into the various symbols to begin their activation phase, I notice, before leading
further into a similar room as the last one. She finally follows up after sealing the door behind her and wrapping my waist in one of her tails, "I had imagined that to be the case as well, but it is reassuring to have spirit Ios' confirmation on the matter. Even with all of the aid your system brings you, you are simply too in tune with the craft to deny it."
Her voice matches the look of pride she has, and I always love that she gets just as much or even more fulfillnt and joy from watching those close to her succeed as they do~. Well, we now, I suppose. "Right!" I say back cheerily, "So, because of those two quests I'm sitting on over 1,200 free points to spend, and got a pretty sizeable boost to all my stats, especially the physical ones."
The fox woman hums in appreciation and nods as she walks us to the center of the room and produces two large, comfy looking seating pillows. I take the hint and sit on the one across from her as she says, "That is marvelous news indeed! Spirit Ios, are we still of the opinion that Alia must complete the tasks for the other weapons, armor, and crafting before she attempts her 2nd Realm tribulation?"
The butterfly drone hovers to our side, projecting the form of Ios in a contemplative mood before she replies back, "I think that is probably the best option for now, still. Maybe we can lighten up on her crafting professions, but I want her to get at least to Advanced on the weapons and armor. People in the 2nd Realms will basically have that knowledge by that point, and the Mastery quests are representative for people in the 3rd. At the least, I think she should have enough health points to survive 27 bolts without issue, as my current assumption is she received 3 for each path last ti, and that number is likely to expand exponentially as she progresses."
My mouth hangs open at that little tid bit, and even Akiko looks a bit stunned, even going so far as to stutter for the first ti that I've heard, "T-That would be equivalent to a 4th Realm tribulation. Are you sure?"
Ios nods once, a grim certainty on her face. "I could always be wrong, and this next tribulation will tell us one way or the other, but if we compare the tribulations of just spirit cultivators, the progress goes from one bolt, to three, to nine, to 27, then slightly varies for the Apogee Rank. Seeing as how Aims had nine hit her last ti, I can only surmise that because of her title, she received three for each path she advanced instead of starting at one, essentially skipping straight to a 3rd Realm tribulation. Again, we'll know it when it happens, but I want to be absolutely positive that in a worst case scenario, Alia can survive having to tank the full tribulation as I have predicted it."
I gulp down a bit of anxiousness and fear, the thought of having to fight triple the amount of those annoying and strong fingers of lightning both scaring and enticing . Freaking Berserker ntality... I notice that Akiko seems to have dropped into a thoughtful pose as well now, her hand raising up to her chin as she says, "I see your logic, even if that is a frightening prospect. Very well, that is the motivation for all of us going forward, after we address this soul issue for Alia of course. Speaking of which," She looks to
directly once more, "the first step I want you to try and do, my dear, is focus on your soul and feed it Qi. I have an ability that will let
inspect any deviations from your soul's natural state, and the formations I have arranged should also aid in that as well. As soon as you feel that monarchal ntality begin to rise, stop feeding your soul and let us inspect it."
With a bit of a shaky nod, I visually agree to her words, settling into a comfortable seated position as I take a deep breath and begin pushing away all the distracting emotions and thoughts from these conversations. Thankfully with my new ntal stats, as well as them being buffed by 20% for now, the process is nearly instant, and I am once again staring at my first Qi flow model inside my soul scape. I ntally breathe out, letting the space expand and contract before I turn my attention to my soul. Radiant and imposing as ever, the blazing white and golden sphere floats like an overseer above an ocean of black, broken by the faint form of the moon below.
With a ntal nudge, I activate the combined Qi gathering technique and watch the inky void beco alight with the white, pure energy as it moves inside the grooved channel between the two features, a river of starlight between two celestial bodies. I pay close attention as I begin to favor the soul more and more, watching it balloon and grow in intensity and strength as its light seems to nearly outshine the particles of Qi flowing into it.
Right on cue, when I begin to think that the overloaded star is endanger of going supernova, I feel the faintest hint of that foreign sensation begin to waft through my mind, even seeing slight, miniscule ribbons of purple beginning to ebb and flow out of my engorged soul. I stop imdiately, sensing two other presences trying to look in at the skewed model. I recognize the first one right away, as Ios' soul avatar - with eyes this ti, thank Heavens - pops up beside
as she gazes thoughtfully at the sight in front of us. The other presence, presumably Akiko's, is still outside my soul space and it takes
a second to figure out how to 'let her in' so to speak. After a few false starts, I realize all I need to do is just focus on the sensation and will it to have access. She doesn't have a body in my soul space, per say, but I can tell that her watchful eyes are hod in on the spectacle playing out before her.
All parties accounted for, the three of us watch in various shades of contemplation, inspection, and a bit of nervous energy, which is my part. After a few monts, the distorted voice of Ios rings out into the now very illuminated void, "Alright, as far as I can tell this level of interference isn't going to be a detrint. If anything its empowering your core paths and the flow model. Watch, see how those purple ribbons float and interact with the channel you've made Aims? They're tightening it and widening it in various spots to increase flow density, sothing you're going to learn when you advance further into your spiritual path. They're also creating a feedback loop toward your body path, splitting so of the Qi the soul is receiving through the ribbons to the Moon down there, almost acting like a second channel."
Akiko's voice echoes from outside the area, likely speaking physically while still maintaining a presence here with us so that her words translate, "I agree, and it is fascinating! To think soul cultivation would be this involved with all the other facets, no wonder the Sect Leader is having difficulty repairing sothing so intrinsic to cultivation. Or perhaps Alia's soul is also deviant in that regard as well?"
Ios counters back, "No, you're correct foxy. Soul and spiritual cultivation are very, very intertwined. Sure, body cultivators will die if their soul gets too damaged, but spiritual cultivation relies a great deal on having the soul healthy. Alia is an outlier still, but your assumption is spot on." Her avatar turns to my form, whatever it is in this space, as she says, "Okay Aims, slowly - and I an glacially slowly honey - feed more Qi to the soul. Akiko, be ready with the suppression field if it gets out of her hands."
I wait a mont to see if Akiko is going to respond but hearing nothing back, I assu that she is rely watching and standing by. I drip feed the smallest amount of Qi I can control into the soul once more, watching and waiting to pull the plug. Even with this miniscule amount of additional energy, we all watch as the ribbons of purple seem to dance and beco more firm, more connected, and the royal sensation settles into
more and more.
Like last ti, I feel much more myself while these tendrils of influence weave their way through my psyche, and having Ios and Akiko nearby ready to step in reassures
beyond asure. Another long mont or two passes, the amaranth vines weaving deeper and firr as they fill
with more and more surety of purpose, before Ios barks out, "Alright Aims, stop!"
My mind hears the command and becos briefly divided. One part of , the awkward, socially anxious, recovering walking disaster and the other a queen, divested in power and splendor, sat upon her golden throne as she sneers in contempt at those who would dare issue her orders. I feel the two sides exist and wrangle for control for a mont, my growingly fractured mind straining and bowing under carrying the weight of both, before - amazingly - the queen emits a feeling of peace to . The suffocating rank of authority that was threatening to wash
away in her iron grip diffusing into calm acceptance as it recedes on its own from my mind.
I ntally gasp out as soon as the foreign yet becoming more and more familiar sensation ebbs away from , like the waning tide no longer lapping against the castle of sand that is . With hasty and rushed control, I stop the flow of Qi, even reversing it back toward the body section of the model in an attempt to ground myself sowhat, the mix of fear and confusion gripping my being.
"Shit, Alia, are you okay?" I faintly hear Ios' concerned voice ask. I mumble a reply, mostly in the affirmative, before she exhales a long breath and continues, "I didn't expect the soul to exert so much influence so quickly, not with how slow you were feeding it at first. But it was obvious that when it was spilling into you, and you started feeding it more and more Qi. Akiko, what do you make of it?"
I shudder ntally at the thought, now seeing just how insanely easy it would be to lose myself to this power. Even a dribble of energy was nearly enough to overco , the subtleness of it soothing and comforting until it was damn near ready to assu control. As I'm recounting the harrowing experience to myself, Akiko answers back to Ios, "I saw that as well, it was like the purple ribbons grew taught and wrapped themselves around Alia, or at least cocooned her. While that is troubling, I am confused on why the influence pulled back? Did you sohow regain control, my dear?"
"No," I say out quietly, "I felt myself being... not subsud I guess, but close to that, by the - my - soul when Ios told
to stop. After that, it relaxed its pressure and lifted away on its own after I stood my ground, so to speak." The mory of the brief tangle of wills only adds to my trepidation as I wait for one of them to respond.
It takes a mont, but eventually Akiko says back gently, "Okay, my dear. Let us pull back into the physical world for now and discuss things."
That sounds like a fucking wonderful idea, I'm beyond ready to get so space from this place. I pull back out of my trance, shaking my head a few tis as I feel a small headache coming on, before I open my eyes and take in Akiko's worried expression. "Alia," She begins, "we must get to those practices for identity strengthening as soon as possible. Now, preferably. I do not see a safe route for you to advance your soul cultivation without the potential of losing yourself, even temporarily, to that entity. While it seems to be beneficial and at least responding to your intentions, the fact of the matter is that you are too weak to not fall under its influence while using its power."
I see Ios nod a few tis in agreent as I question back, "Okay, that makes sense. What exactly would I need to do to start that? Like, focus really hard on being myself?"
Akiko giggles slightly, but not maliciously, as she shakes her head. "No, my dear girl. If only that were the case~!" She adopts a concerned expression as she looks deeply at , like she doesn't even want to bring up the next steps for my sake. "Alia, you must start confronting your heart demons. That, along with ditation while slowly feeding your soul while you are still in full control, is the best answer I have for now. Unless spirit Ios provides another option for us?"
Heart demons? Ios chis in before I can follow up with any questions, "I think that's probably the best way to go for this. Even if it is going to be a rough fucking fight for you, Aims."
I begin to sweat a bit, having both of my ntors looking down at
in concern, "Alright stop! What are you two even talking about?? What are heart demons?"
"Heart demons," Akiko begins, her eyes shimring in compassion towards , "are what we cultivators call... flaws in personality. Insecurities, perceived faults of oneself. They can be anything from a wounded pride at losing a fight to debilitating fear of failure that will cripple you for life, leaving you wallowing in doubt and depression until you either succumb or overco the demon. That is the best way I can describe them."
Well that's fucking bad news. I don't even want to begin trying to think of all the insecurities and trauma I have, even less so trying to... what? Fight them sohow? Ios adds on as I'm spiraling, "Akiko hit the nail on the head, but you might better understand it as facing your traumas. While on Earth, that just ant going to therapy and trying to work on yourself, your weaknesses and patterns and what not. But here on Mara, those lingering doubts, whispering fears? Those are actual, semi-tangible creations that your soul and mind make when you experience, or have experienced, great suffering."
"So," I choke out, my eyes still a bit wide and my breath quick, "do I even have these things? I'm just a week or two into Mara, less so for cultivation, right? These sound like things that take a long ti to develop, from experiences once you get all Qi based and powerful." Hello there denial! It's nice of you to make an appearance~.
Ios looks to
softly, even going to a sitting position in her hologram as she says, "Aims, you are chock full of them. All of those nasty thoughts and patterns from Earth carried over sohow, which I'm still sure is sohow Sandy's doing even if that shouldn't be possible, and I highly doubt it was even remotely intentional either. You should have arrived on Mara with your identity intact, but without the baggage from Earth. But, again, you didn't. Luckily, your skills, titles, and healing mind have already done a lot to squash and suppress them, but you were going to need to settle this eventually. I wanted to wait a bit longer, until you were stronger, but we are having our hands forced a bit now. I'm sorry, sweetheart."
I feel so errant wetness land on my cheek, raising a shaky hand up to my face to inspect and finding that tears are beginning to stream down my face. I choke a little bit before I'm tackled by a ball of fur and muscle and clean fresh carpet, wrapped up in a blankety cocoon of fluff, security, and comfort. I hear the matronly, easy voice of Akiko softly waltz into my ear, "It is going to be okay, my love. We will be here with you through it all. I have so pills, talismans, and other ans that can aid you when you confront the things that have hurt you so. But rember this above all else:" She leans back, gives
a long and deep kiss before breaking off and saying, "You are Alia "Aims" Dufort. A thoughtful, wise, and empathetic individual who will do anything, go to any lengths, for the cause and people she cares for. You are no longer that weak, wounded woman from before your landing here. Those ghosts may sting you, may tempt you to lancholy and doubt, but they are nothing against the beacon of progress you are becoming for yourself. I love you, my dear girl, and you will overco anything your past life has to throw at you."
I feel the tears gently fall down in big, warm globs of salty water as I nod repeatedly into her neck, our embrace becoming a tangled ss of limbs and tails, comfort and healing. I stay tied together with her for a ti that is both just enough and far too soon sohow as we back away from each other, a couple tails coming up to brush against my eyes and dab up any lingering streaks of tears. "Okay," I hoarsely choke out, "I... I'll try. What do we need to do? Do I just... think about my insecurities or sothing?"
Ios shakes her head softly as she replies, "No, although you could technically do that, Akiko should have a space where we can set paraters and pull you out if things get too intense, right?" She looks to the fox woman as she finishes.
A swift nod from the kitsune precedes her answer, "Indeed, we always have a room dedicated to such a purpose down here on the lower levels. You simply need to ditate while sitting above the glyph on the floor and you will be shown your Heart Demons, in order of weakest to strongest. There are a few other thods we can begin to practice for you shore up your inner security after you have begun to clear so of those errant deviations from your person."
I give a shaky nod, trying my best to will determination into . "Okay then. Let's get this started, I guess. I want to keep getting stronger, keep learning about Mara and inscriptions and everything it ans to be a cultivator. I want to... erm..." I blush fiercely as I stumble, "I want to be a full part of your harem, eventually. And above all else, I want Sandra back. If that ans I need to suplex thoughts and emotions that my old therapists couldn't wrangle, then that's what I'll do!" I stand up, brimming in resolve, the heat on my face a mixture of embarrassnt and the rush of blood prior to gearing up for a fight.
Active Effect Gained[Determination (Filled)]
Ios and Akiko both beam up to
with pride, Akiko standing and taking my hand as we exit the adjusted training room. We make our way further down the hall, past Samantha's workshop that I can tell she is occupying by the clang of tal-on-tal ringing past the vault like door, before we stand at the end of the hall. In front of us is a wide, dark wooden door, with the runic glyph of 'Redemption' carved into it, filled with gold or perhaps so other vibrant tal. Akiko pushes the door open, revealing the space to be a small 15 x 15 ft beach surrounding a placid body of water, one little island in the center raising just above the water's edge.
As she shuts the door, I walk forward cautiously yet curiously, noticing that the water stands maybe ankle deep inside a stone worked tub basically. The small island seems to be a plinth in the center, and on its top is a dizzying number of symbols, etchings, and glyphs that make it hard to see where one begins and the other ends. As I'm lost in inspecting the fascinating artwork before , Akiko saddles up next to my unaware form and gently places a hand on my shoulder, making
startle in surprise. The most update n0vels are published on novelfire(.)net
"Apologies, my dear. Maybe when things have beco more routine, we can let you investigate that inscription more thoroughly, but for now we have a task at hand. Take these," She says as she produces a couple pills and a talisman, "These are a [Mind Reinforcent Pill (Peak Earth Rank)], and a [Soul Reinforcent Pill (Peak Earth Rank)]. The talisman needs only your Qi to be used as an identifier and will pull you out of the fray if you are at risk of being overco by the Heart Demon. Just funnel so Qi from yourself here... Good girl~. Take both of those pills before you sit down and begin to ditate. I will be right here, ready to scoop you up in the event the talisman does not fire, or fires too slowly."
"Got it." I cough out, "Any words of wisdom before I go fight the concept of doubt or sothing?" My attempts at a joke belie my hands slightly shaking as I keep hold of the offered pills.
Ios chis up as Akiko gives
a soft hug, "Just rember what Akiko said. Rember what I've been telling you this whole ti: you are a brave, smart, and talented person, Aims. Rember that it's okay to accept help. That it's okay to ask for help. And rember that you are worth loving, and you deserve to love yourself including all of your flaws that make you human."
Damn. Alright, Ios wasn't just kidding around when she said she'd offer therapy, got it. Akiko follows up, her mouth gently whispering next to my ear, "All of that and more, my darling Alia~. Also rember that nothing you do here in this room, nothing you confront or fail to overco will make
think less of you. A kitsune's love, despite how quickly we ca to it, is hard to earn and even harder to lose. And I do love you, Alia. Now go," She says as she playfully nips my ear before sounding out loudly and with devotion, "Prove to yourself how strong in character you are!"
I giggle into the act, moving back to give her a fierce nod before wading into the shallow pool of water. I quickly find myself in the center of the room, feet pressed against the soft sand of judgent that perfectly holds the carving of the enchantnt no matter how many sands fall loose. I breathe deep, swallowing one last asure of anxiety before I pop both the pills Akiko gave
into my mouth, using my Qi to disperse the effect to my brain and soul before sitting down crossed legged and focusing inwards.
Instantly, I am swallowed by inky blackness, my disoriented mind trying to right myself and swim up to so surface that I can't see. I struggle, fearing that the growing panic is going to make
expel the last gasp of air inside of , the tears beginning to bleed out of
before three sickly, gravely voices ripple through the void in discordant harmony.
"All these struggles, all these fears, and yet here you are, nearly in tears~. Nothing has changed of you from Earth, little girl. You flounder and cling to the life rafts of those you deem stronger, able to shelter you from the storm of your own creation, your own imagination. I wonder, which will break first? Those who suffer under the weight of your failures? Or your fragile attempts at bettering yourself, knowing how weak and pathetic you are."
I turn toward the voice, and the sight makes
clench my hands in anger, fear, and hurt. I see all of them. Mary Elizabeth, Jennean Towlry, and Taylor Numan, all three of my exes wrapped in a gory, mangled hydra, each face coming up to leer and sneer at my shaking form. mories of each of them surfacing in the void around us, playing out in perfect clarity as I sit down and witness the most fucked up ho movie of all ti.
Mary telling
how useless I was in bed, and that's why I wasn't getting off, her petite fra and blonde curls shaming
from above as she gasped in frustration. Her catching
trying to get off on my own, before demanding that I throw all of my toys away, saying that my fooling around was the reason we were struggling. Weeks later, her cold hands as she suggested we try sothing a little different, more aggressive, as she reached up to choke
for the first ti in my life. Her bony hips and cruel, smiling blue eyes illuminated by the streetlamp outside the window. Her delight as I cried, even though I dried up below faster than before. Once she realized, she grunts and slaps
across the cheek, leaving the dorm and never talking to
again. My tears falling as I called her and begged her to co back, to just give
ti, but all I ever got was an answering tone.
Jennean's section flashes to life next, as we sit on a pair of chairs outside so party I didn't want to be at. Her smooth, charming words flowing from plush red lips and wavy black hair bleeding into
like honey, my buzzed mind eating up as much of the delectable treat as I could get, before she takes
back to her room. We make love, and its leagues above what I had with Mary. Jennean's skilled fingers and tounge, athletic body and curves easily tempting and teasing the pleasure out of , like a fruit waiting to be plucked from a branch. She learns that my family is decently well off, and that is when the first trouble really starts.
A flash forward, and soon I am stuck in her room as she yells at , drunk and angry, her angular face and brown eyes boring into . I already lived on campus, she said, so why do I need a car? Why don't we just live together and share the expenses for food? I should sell everything and then we can have more money to save up to get a better car later, and all the other promises and sweet whispers spoken on brewery scented breath.
Another scene,
without money or ans of escape as she berates
for not getting more from my parents, saying that they obviously don't love
if they won't support . I balk at the notion, but internally as I don't want to upset her. Again. The scene repeats for a few tis, scattered across several days and weeks before it fades out, Jennean leaving with a small suitcase of her things as I'm left in the wreckage of a hollowed-out life that I thought I was building.
Sohow, I was able to stay in school, surviving off part ti jobs and switching to a community college. I moved back in with my parents, who only gave
looks of pity and remorse before Taylor ca into my life. Her auburn brown hair falling like a waterfall behind her, going down to nearly her hips, her gentle smile and cordial deanor making
swoon despite how many tis love has hurt . She sohow notices my attentions, and catches
heading off to lunch one day, asking if we shared the sa philosophy class. The sa class where I admired her shapely legs and toned stomach, exposed for all as she wore the least amount of clothing possible and still legal.
The heat on my cheeks was all the answer she needed before she dragged
off to her car, and a whirlwind of romance began again. I fought against it this ti, at the start, which only made her seem to delight in it more. Told her I had plans, or other things that conflicted when she tried to co over, only for her to needle down and break apart those lies as she laughed in victory between my legs. Eventually I gave in, willing to give another chance at love and acceptance if it ant the trickling doubts from everything else would stop. But that was the death nail. I confessed that I did feel things for her, maybe even love her, and all I was t with was a cruel mask of indifference. "Well, the fun is out of it then." She said, baffling
to silence as she picked up her bag and then left, never to return or answer any of my doubts and emotions again.
The discordant voices return, the reel of fucked up mories having run its course, "You are always weak, you are always subject to your betters. Just accept that, accept that you will never be anything worth love, worth attention, worth anything, and then leave. Leave your mind, your ambitions, and your power for soone worthy to take its place." With varying hisses and snares, the heads of the grotesque hydra lash out toward my form nearly closing in on my legs or arms but seemingly unable to do so as they growl in frustration.
I float there shattered, feeling adrift and broken as mories that I never wanted to see again play out again and again in my mind in perfect clarity from this experience. But above it all, sothing else finally breaks through the surface, a familiar and loving feeling. One that was always there by my side, one that the mories forgot to ntion. I question the emotion, asking if its strong enough, to which I get a simple reply of YES.
I look up, no longer fighting against the perceived void as solid ground now takes my place, my feet landing with a solid thunk. The inky blackness becos broken by a small island of light where I stand, my reaper spear materializing in my hand. With as much conviction as I can muster, my rallying mind beginning to spin up in Berserker battle lust, I say, "You motherfuckers forgot about Sandra."
A second white amorphous form breaks into the arena, half-baked and wounded but full of rage and power. A shrill scream from her shatters the remaining walls around us as the battle begins, fear dancing behind the eyes of the hydra for the first ti.
Reviews
All reviews (0)