Chapter 193: Chapter 193: Feelings
As the moon reached its zenith, the atmosphere in the Myriad Dao Pavilion shifted from a tense military briefing to a display of desperate hedonism.
Everyone began to party, wanting to unwind before they left for the battlefield at dawn.
For many of the pampered noble scions, this was perhaps it would be months or years before they can once again taste vintage spiritual wine or feel the warmth of a safe, silk-lined hall.
The fact that they might die didn’t even cross their minds.
Music played from enchanted instrunts, ethereal flutes and stringed harps that echoed through the jade corridors, while servants carried platters of spirit fruits and roasted at from high-grade demonic beasts.
Of course, those who are truly serious about this expedition didn’t join them, and instead went to a private booth for further discussion.
Shen Haoran, the Ten Crowns, the representatives of the Immortal Sects, and the Princes had vanished into the upper levels of the pavilion, where the air was filtered with silence and the strategic maps were laid out in earnest.
They were the ones who understood that war was not a ga of titles, but a calculation of blood, and any wrong move could cost the entire operation.
Below, Xu Xiansu silently slipped away and hid, breathing heavily as she found a secluded balcony, shielded by thick, hanging wisteria that slled of honey and ozone.
She leaned against the cold jade railing, her heart hamring against her ribs like a trapped bird while her mind was a chaotic whirlpool of mories, trauma, and confusion.
"What was that? Why did that bastard stare at ?" she whispered to the shadows, her fingers trembling as she pulled at the fabric of her commoner’s robes. "Could it be... he rembered ?"
But just as she thought that, she imdiately shook her head, the motion frantic and desperate. "No, no, that’s impossible!"
In her past life, when she confronted him, he clearly doesn’t rember her!
She rembered that final battle—the way he had looked at her with those golden eyes, cold and indifferent, as if she were just another obstacle in his path to godhood.
There was no recognition there, and certainly no guilt for what he had done to the neglected princess of the Xu family.
To him, she had been a naless pebble cast aside.
"Wait, but that was because hundreds of years have passed..." she reasoned with herself, her eyes wide as she stared into the dark garden below. "Could it because this ti, it has only been a few years, so he still rembers?"
It couldn’t be... right? The idea that she occupied even a sliver of space in the mory of the Shen Clan’s Young Master felt like a violation of the script she had written for her own revenge.
This...
This is so...roman—
She slapped her cheeks, the sharp sting helping to ground her spiraling thoughts.
"Xu Xiansu! Why are you suddenly feeling happy!?" she scolded herself, her voice a harsh hiss. "That man is your enemy! He is the source of your humiliation, the one who played around with your body, and the one who will eventually stand in the way of everything you want to achieve!"
Still, at this mont, unlike the her from that mory who was consud with hatred, right now, she can’t really muster that much hatred for the man.
The raw, jagged edges of her resentnt felt strangely blunted seeing those eyes.
She rembered back then, under his embrace, she had completely forgotten her hatred and humiliation and lost herself into that gaze of his.
She rembered his touches, warm, but as if sending electric shocks through her body.
She rembered his scent, that musculine scent of a man admired by billions, in that dark room, completely overwheld her, making her shudder in pleasure.
Slap!
She slapped her cheeks once again.
Why was she like this!?
Was it because he was the one who took her chastity, so she felt so kind of connection to him?
So scholars did propose a study that people develop strong emotional ties to the person they lost their virginity with—a primitive, soul-deep tether that defied logic or morality.
Was she a victim of her own biology? Was her soul, despite having the mories of herself five hundred years from now, still reacting like a confused girl to the man who had first touched her?
She sighed, a long, weary sound that seem to carry the weight of two lifetis. "Goddamit."
She looked around and found a bench at the corner, tucked away behind a decorative rock formation that resembled a leaping carp, and decided to sit down and think of other things.
She needed to focus.
She has the mories of a five hundred year old Empress, a woman who had seen the rise and fall of empires, and she couldn’t afford to be distracted by a pair of golden eyes and a few years of distance.
For one, because of Haoran’s appearance, her plan to take the blood of the Golden Crow might’ve been ssed up.
The tiline was already fracturing beneath her feet.
After all, according to her mories, this eting should’ve taken a few weeks since no one can decide and who is going to be the leader, with Su Xishi being the most adamant on not having Xu Xiaojun as the leader.
The bickering should have dragged on until the nobles were exhausted and the sect representatives were frustrated.
In the original tiline, after a few weeks, Bai Wenxin supported Xu Xiaojun just to get everything over with and they can send support to the Eastern Region.
It was a compromise of sheer annoyance, not a tactical decision.
But at that ti, everything was already over, and a Three Legged Golden Crow died from the clash between dusa and the barbarian leader.
That blood was the foundation of Xu Xiansu’s rise in her previous life, her chance to awaken her Sun Moon Divine Physique and get her revenge!
If the barbarians this ti was defeated by the expedition forces and the Golden Crow weren’t killed, then wouldn’t her trip towards there will be wasted then?
If Shen Haoran leads them with that terrifying efficiency he just displayed, the war might end before the Golden Crow even enters the fray.
That damn Haoran! Why did you have to co and ruin my plans!?
"No, wait," she murmured, her eyes narrowing as she recalled the key figures of the Eastern conflict. "Weren’t those two, that Poison Woman and that girl with Tyrannical Tiger Subduing Eyes still in the Eastern Region?!"
She leaned forward, her mind racing.
Even if she missed the Golden Crow blood, the Eastern Region was currently a goldmine of untapped talent.
She can take them away then!
She rembered Zhu Ziyan was working as a rcenary in the Grand Order rcenary Guild, her potential buried in her fear and self-pity.
It was only three years later that she was discovered by the White Tiger Mansion, a powerful sect in the Central Region, and beca their Heaven’s Chosen!
In her past life, she was known as the Queen of Ten Thousand Beasts, and despite only being at the 1st Stage of Heavenly Saint Realm, she had subdued an Imperial Beast, the legendary Moon Chasing Tiger, making her a feared figure even for a Supre.
If Xu Xiansu could recruit her now, while she was still a struggling rcenary, she would have a general capable of commanding an army of monsters.
As for that poison girl, she was one of the friends of Huo Yue, the Fla Empress, and was known as the Bringer of Catastrophe due to her innate Myriad Poison Sacred Physique.
It was a very terrifying physique that, if not controlled, could erupt and poison entire lands and make it unliveable for thousands of years.
In the previous tiline, Huo Yue was able to solve this and she beca a terrifying powerhouse who could rot the foundations of a city with a single breath.
"I don’t know if Huo Yue already t her though," Xu Xiansu pondered, tapping her chin. "So for now, I should focus on finding Zhu Ziyan. She is the more stable variable."
She sighed, looking up at the stars through the wisteria vines and once again sighed.
The future was no longer a clear path, but has now beco a storm of possibilities.
Shen Haoran’s interference was like a massive stone dropped into a still pond, and the ripples were changing everything.
"Although this trip would likely result in
failing to get the blood, but at least it wouldn’t be wasted," she told herself.
If she could build her own "Crowns" out of the heroes and villains of the East, she might actually stand a chance when the final confrontation ca.
With a renewed sense of purpose, she stood up from the bench, the sounds of the party reached her—laughter, the clinking of glasses, and the boastful shouts of drunken nobles.
They were celebrating a victory they hadn’t earned, led by a man they didn’t understand.
Xu Xiansu pushed her hair behind her ear, her gaze turning cold and focused once more.
She would play the role of a good soldier in Haoran’s formation, a naless face in the crowd of geniuses, but her eyes would be on the horizon.
The Eastern Region was a land of blood and opportunity, and she was going to take everything she could before the golden monster at the head of the army realized she was there.
She stepped back into the shadows, moving with the silence of a ghost, ready to reclaim her destiny from the ashes of a changing world.
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